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Common 'madness' In Lagos? - Culture (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Singular: 3:20pm On Dec 10, 2009
otukpo:

ONLY IN LAGOS THAT U WILL BE MOVING ON THE ROAD U SEE SOME PPLE/ADULTS OOO BY THE ROAD SIDE, STOOPING AND DEFEACATING, AND PPLE WOULD JUST BE PASSING AS IF ITS NOTHING.

SOME MEN ALSO BATH BY THE ROADSIDE WITH THEIR 3RD LEG DANGLING AND THEY CARE LESS

Haba naaaawwww We don dey Lagos since but we never see pple dey sh1t for road. Maybe pissing but not sh1tting.lol
About the bread, Your stories dey reach some kind imaginary level

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Gekko(m): 3:32pm On Dec 10, 2009
Its only in Lagos you cant budget how much you will like to spend in a day, at any given time you can be a victim of circumstance, fuel scarcity, police bribes, Touts, danfo price hikes, etc

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 3:32pm On Dec 10, 2009
I feel embarrassed to narrate an experience I had with an aboki okada rider few days ago.

Driving home after work along Sinari Daranijo/Akin Ogunlewe street in VI last week, my brake had some fault. I could still manage it home but I was too afraid to take risk. So I called my mechanic whose shop was, fortunately, close to the place and he drove the car to his shop. It was around 8pm and I was already furious that I will have to go home(to Ajah) by public transport. I called one aboki okada guy to take me home i.e from VI to Ajah. We had not gone far(just nearing New Market/Oniru) before he fell into the hands of Policemen who arrested him for riding Okada after 7 pm. His bike was seized. He started barking at me as If na me send am. He ordered that I will not leave the spot until I get his Okada for him. I was so furious. WTF, na me send u say make u dey ride Okada for night? He held my cloth and started dragging me, swearing that i will not leave teh spot. Because he saw me in suits, he thought I was a complete gentleman. How can a small boy be harrassing me like this? For what? Is it because I am in suits? Is it because I'm speaking English?
While the noise was going on, a commercial danfo going to Ajah came and I boarded it. The guy tried to prevent me from entering the bus and was pulling me. I was so angry that I betrayed the suits I had on and threw professionalism to the thrash bin. I booted him several times and hit him with my clippers, which case I was holding. People were shouting ''don't fight with aboki. They can kill. They don't value their life, bla bla" but I was deaf to all that. The guy fell and the danfo driver moved on. He stood up and ran after us. If the guy had been successful at dragging me out of the bus, maybe I would have died now, because with the way I hit him, if was able to handle any dangerous object, it would have been a different tale now. I'm not proud of such 'corporate thuggery' but at times people think you are a fool when you appear refined.

4 Likes

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by GTay(m): 3:35pm On Dec 10, 2009
Jarus:

I was so angry that I betrayed the suits I had on and threw professionalism to the thrash bin. I booted him several times and hit him with my clippers, which case I was holding.

lol grin LWKMD
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by otukpo(f): 3:36pm On Dec 10, 2009
Singular:

Haba naaaawwww We don dey Lagos since but we never see pple dey sh1t for road. Maybe pissing but not sh1tting.lol
About the bread, Your stories dey reach some kind imaginary level

aLL THESES THINGS ARE REAL. IF U ARE DRIVING TO COSTAIN FROM ORILE SIDE EVEN AROUND NATIONAL THEATRE ESPECIALLY IN THE MORNING, U'LL SEE ADULT MEN PULL DOWN THEIR PANTS AND SHIT.

IF U ARE USED TO KINGSWAY RD TO 3RD MAINLAND BRIDGE, JUST BE LOOKING TOWARDS UR RIGHT AFTER DOLPHIN AREA, U'LL SEE THEM NAKED BATHING.

AGEGE BREAD OWN, DT NA SMALLL THING. ITS A DAILY OCCURRENCE.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by jidobaba(m): 3:40pm On Dec 10, 2009
Jarus:

I was so angry that I betrayed the suits I had on and threw professionalism to the thrash bin. I booted him several times and hit him with my clippers, which case I was holding.If the guy had been successful at dragging me out of the bus, maybe I would have died now, because with the way I hit him, if was able to handle any dangerous object, it would have been a different tale now.

^^yep. Krav Maga, Lagos Stylee  grin
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 3:41pm On Dec 10, 2009
It is only in Lagos people avoid the pedestrian bridge, walk to the shoulders of the motorway/expressroad and beckon cars to stop for him/her to cross.

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by dapsycool(m): 3:43pm On Dec 10, 2009
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Eko o ni baje o grin grin grin
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 3:43pm On Dec 10, 2009
Jarus:

I feel embarrassed to narrate an experience I had with an aboki okada rider few days ago.

Driving home after work along Sinari Daranijo/Akin Ogunlewe street in VI last week, my brake had some fault. I could still manage it home but I was too afraid to take risk. So I called my mechanic whose shop was, fortunately, close to the place and he drove the car to his shop. It was around 8pm and I was already furious that I will have to go home(to Ajah) by public transport. I called one aboki okada guy to take me home i.e from VI to Ajah. We had not gone far(just nearing New Market/Oniru) before he fell into the hands of Policemen who arrested him for riding Okada after 7 pm. His bike was seized. He started barking at me as If na me send am. He ordered that I will not leave the spot until I get his Okada for him. I was so furious. WTF, na me send u say make u dey ride Okada for night? He held my cloth and started dragging me, swearing that i will not leave teh spot. Because he saw me in suits, he thought I was a complete gentleman. How can a small boy be harrassing me like this? For what? Is it because I am in suits? Is it because I'm speaking English?
While the noise was going on, a commercial danfo going to Ajah came and I boarded it. The guy tried to prevent me from entering the bus and was pulling me. I was so angry that I betrayed the suits I had on and threw professionalism to the thrash bin. I booted him several times and hit him with my clippers, which case I was holding. People were shouting ''don't fight with aboki. They can kill. They don't value their life, bla bla" but I was deaf to all that. The guy fell and the danfo driver moved on. He stood up and ran after us. If the guy had been successful at dragging me out of the bus, maybe I would have died now, because with the way I hit him, if was able to handle any dangerous object, it would have been a different tale now. I'm not proud of such 'corporate thuggery' but at times people think you are a fool when you appear refined.

Lol, grin grin.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by ajibawealt(m): 3:45pm On Dec 10, 2009
its only in lagos that a uniform man would not pay his/her fare in a public transport. It used to annoy me so much that I always felt like asking them to pay their fare whenever I boarded a bus with them. Worse still, para-military men too are guilty of that act
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by mayrho(m): 3:45pm On Dec 10, 2009
Singular:

Haba naaaawwww We don dey Lagos since but we never see pple dey sh1t for road. Maybe pissing but not sh1tting.lol
About the bread, Your stories dey reach some kind imaginary level


oga drive from island to mainland through the surulere axis u go see people wey dey baff poo piss 4 road
also island to yaba same under the bridge
About the bread that is why i vowed to stop eating agege bread, but its not only in lagos I actually saw this scene in Ibadan the woman was arranging her stall she dipped foam in soapy water to clean off the black spot on the bread and people were still queueing to buy
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by ajibawealt(m): 3:47pm On Dec 10, 2009
OMO IBO:

It is only in Lagos people avoid the pedestrian bridge, walk to the shoulders of the motorway/expressroad and beckon cars to stop for him/her to cross.
lifes
even on the highway wif high volume of traffic. Some people don't value their life!
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 3:49pm On Dec 10, 2009
Only in Lagos do conductors join man and woman together to go sort out their change

Only in Lagos do corporate beggars harrass you. One told me some LASTMA officials just seized his car

Only in Lagos do some men approach you with some funny accent, saying they just came in from Cameroun

Only in Lagos do girls walk into The Palms with no dine and hoping to catch a mugun

Only in Lagos do girls sit on bikes and half their backsides are out

Only in Lagos do people start a quarrel with 'Do you know who I am?'. How am I supposed to?

Only in Lagos do some guys attack youir windshield with detergent and some sand soaked stick, pretending to clean it and theraffter asking for some token

Only in Lagos will a babe board a cab just 100m from your house and connaive with the cab man too dupe you and say they've been in traffic for over 4hrs

Only in Lagos do hungry people go to the market to price garri with no money in their pockets, just to taste

2 Likes

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by aduje(m): 3:51pm On Dec 10, 2009
Only in Lagos one will see a 4-storey building housing 4 different parishes or branches of various brands of pentecostal churches. The annoying thing is that they have sunday services at the same time in the morning i.e. 7.30/8am - 12.30/1pm; midweek service may vary. But the most annoying thing is when they all have night prayer (vigil) at same date. Some will be binding, others will be loosing, some will be praising, the other might be weeping. Infact it is so confusing. All of them have Horn Loud speakers at the balcony of their respective apartments. LAGOS NA WA. You think say na lie, try one at along Egbeda Idimu road opposite Energy Gas station/Oceanic Bank. You have, RCCG, MFM, etc

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by jidobaba(m): 3:51pm On Dec 10, 2009
mayrho:


About the bread that is why i vowed to stop eating agege bread, but its not only in lagos I actually saw this scene in Ibadan the woman was arranging her stall she dipped foam in soapy water to clean off the black spot on the bread and people were still queueing to buy

Nothing do Agege Bread o. Do you know what was used in cleaning all those UTC bread? -that was mixed in the bath-tub.
, only non-lagosians are affected by Agege bread germs anyway
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 3:52pm On Dec 10, 2009
It's only in lagos where you can never find at least a 1km stretch of good road even in so called upscale areas. . .bad roads everywhere. . .ALL the roads in lagos are bad and I hate driving there. . .
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by carnal: 3:53pm On Dec 10, 2009
I feel embarrassed to narrate an experience I had with an aboki okada rider few days ago.

Driving home after work along Sinari Daranijo/Akin Ogunlewe street in VI last week, my brake had some fault. I could still manage it home but I was too afraid to take risk. So I called my mechanic whose shop was, fortunately, close to the place and he drove the car to his shop. It was around 8pm and I was already furious that I will have to go home(to Ajah) by public transport. I called one aboki okada guy to take me home i.e from VI to Ajah. We had not gone far(just nearing New Market/Oniru) before he fell into the hands of Policemen who arrested him for riding Okada after 7 pm. His bike was seized. He started barking at me as If na me send am. He ordered that I will not leave the spot until I get his Okada for him. I was so furious. WTF, na me send u say make u dey ride Okada for night? He held my cloth and started dragging me, swearing that i will not leave teh spot. Because he saw me in suits, he thought I was a complete gentleman. How can a small boy be harrassing me like this? For what? Is it because I am in suits? Is it because I'm speaking English?
While the noise was going on, a commercial danfo going to Ajah came and I boarded it. The guy tried to prevent me from entering the bus and was pulling me. I was so angry that I betrayed the suits I had on and threw professionalism to the thrash bin. I booted him several times and hit him with my clippers, which case I was holding. People were shouting ''don't fight with aboki. They can kill. They don't value their life, bla bla" but I was deaf to all that. The guy fell and the danfo driver moved on. He stood up and ran after us. If the guy had been successful at dragging me out of the bus, maybe I would have died now, because with the way I hit him, if was able to handle any dangerous object, it would have been a different tale now. I'm not proud of such 'corporate thuggery' but at times people think you are a fool when you appear refined.

A friend of mine who work on the island had the same experience,being the a karate red belter though works in the bank,the guy came down from the bus,remove his suit and beat the blue day light out of the okada rider while lagosians stand and watch the nollywood,meanhwile the don mak enuff noise on how he will beat my friend and people were infact begging in but as soon as my friend boarded the bus,he insulted him in hausa calling him tif tif men when we go station go collect my friend the police de infact hail him but giving the guy enuff beating to keep him quite.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by ijetonia(f): 3:55pm On Dec 10, 2009
@spikedcylinder
my dear we are in the same shoes. my colleague just chekd my temp. to be sure i'm ok b'cos i was laughing uncontrollably. una go kill me 4 dis N/L
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by spikedcylinder: 4:01pm On Dec 10, 2009
otukpo:

ONLY IN LAGOS THAT THE TIME OF THE DAY DETERMINES THE AMOUNT THE CONDUCTOR/DRIVER CHARGE AS BUS FAIR.


Eh? How is this only in Lagos?
Make una no join put for this story o.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by jobzi(m): 4:08pm On Dec 10, 2009
Only in lagos does any type of uniform gaurantee U power to Do as u like
police
yellow fever
lastma
nurtw
corporate agbero
VIO
lawma
BRT worker, etc
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by jiniux(m): 4:11pm On Dec 10, 2009
It's only in lagos u will see people watching movies by the roadside.

only in lagos will a family close a federal road  to motorist because of "OWANBE"

only lagos never goes to sleep.

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by spikedcylinder: 4:20pm On Dec 10, 2009
dappssee:

Only in Lagos will a babe board a cab just 100m from your house and connaive with the cab man too dupe you and say they've been in traffic for over 4hrs

Chineke! grin grin grin
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by GTay(m): 4:23pm On Dec 10, 2009
Only in Lagos, Conductors who have had zero education can do maths more than you,

I pitied one corporate looking guy who after he was given change by the conductor he started running after the bus saying the change is not correct and the conductor yelled at him,
" Count am well well, Abi you no go school shocked "

Lol and the conductor was right! grin

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by baslone: 4:23pm On Dec 10, 2009
Only in Lagos police will follow you to the ATM for "bail" money.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by 2sleek2NV(m): 4:26pm On Dec 10, 2009
am sure u guys have listened to "Don Jazzy's song THIS IS LAGOS"
The part Mode 9 sang

"Welcome to lagos the city of HUSTLERS everybody is in a hurry,traders and Customers. if you are not careful,u are goin to part with ur cellular".

Na only 4 lagos u go see well dress man/woman dey beg 4 cash.that he or she has been robbed or sumtin.
i met some guy at Eko hotel roundabout sayin he came from badagry to Vi to drop his CV and didnt have enof money to go bak home. i come pity d guy cos i knw as d tin b to dey find work. gave him 500. the guy next to me in d bus was furious and was like i just gave u 200 and u said it was enof to take u home with the little u had

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by Nobody: 4:26pm On Dec 10, 2009
GTay:

Only in Lagos, Conductors who have had zero education can do maths more than you,

I pitied one corporate looking guy who after he was given change by the conductor he started running after the bus saying the change is not correct and the conductor yelled at him,
" Count am well well, Abi you no go school shocked "

Lol and the conductor was right! grin

wow! LMAO, chei I can jus imagine how that guy must have felt. . .this post is funnier than it seems if una think am well well, Its almost poetic

1 Like

Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by ismailaw: 4:31pm On Dec 10, 2009
It is only in Lagos a fight could have started on a bike between two passengers: a guy & a lady. The lady on the bike sat in the middle between the okada rider & the other guy sat behind her.

She suddenly discovered something creeping behind her buttocks. She first felt it was the poly bag the guy behind was carrying. She later discovered that the thing was too hard to be a bag. She suddenly grabbed the object hitting at her from behind and instructed the okada rider to park the okada.

believe it, the guy's john thomas was already hard like a rock. The lady didnt drop it o. She gave the guy a very dirty slap & the okada rider later feft with her leaving the "hard-on" guy stranded.
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by jaybee3(m): 4:32pm On Dec 10, 2009
^^^
r u sure u ain't talking abt urself?
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by baslone: 4:34pm On Dec 10, 2009
ismailaw:

It is only in Lagos a fight could have started on a bike between two passengers: a guy & a lady. The lady on the bike sat in the middle between the okada rider & the other guy sat behind her.

She suddenly discovered something creeping behind her buttocks. She first felt it was the poly bag the guy behind was carrying. She later discovered that the thing was too hard to be a bag. She suddenly grabbed the object hitting at her from behind and instructed the okada rider to park the okada.

believe it, the guy's john thomas was already hard like a rock. The lady didnt drop it o. She gave the guy a very dirty slap & the okada rider later feft with her leaving the "hard-on" guy stranded.

LOL
Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by spikedcylinder: 4:38pm On Dec 10, 2009
ismailaw:

It is only in Lagos a fight could have started on a bike between two passengers: a guy & a lady. The lady on the bike sat in the middle between the okada rider & the other guy sat behind her.

She suddenly discovered something creeping behind her buttocks. She first felt it was the poly bag the guy behind was carrying. She later discovered that the thing was too hard to be a bag. She suddenly grabbed the object hitting at her from behind and instructed the okada rider to park the okada.

believe it, the guy's john thomas was already hard like a rock. The lady didnt drop it o. She gave the guy a very dirty slap & the okada rider later feft with her leaving the "hard-on" guy stranded.

Ahn ahn! Now you guys are just stretching it! grin grin grin grin

1 Like

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