I know your how you feel and your reasons my darling,

1, He's not your first choice

2, You married him out of compulsion and 'cos of negative peer pressure

3, Your man is ugly, You always ask yourself why you ended up marrying this ugly mother-f*cker

4, He's a bit loaded and you need security, and finally

5, Your husband is not fit and doesn't have all the wow factor.

I kinda feel you baby, but you shouldn't have married him in the first place. Not too late though, If you think you can't stand him or he's in no way attractive to you, then you know what to do.

@poster, you are bad !!

Dear Agatha,

, Again when is the best time to get pregnant?

Are you kidding me? She is obviously not in love and yet she wants to have a baby for this man? I think that should be the reason why she got married to him in the first instance. Maybe he was the only man that was interested in her and she jumped for the offer for marriage. I feel sorry for her and her decisions.

wat are u are thinking? wat do u really want?

I have been married for 10yrs and I will tell u that without sex in marriage that marriage will collapse like a pack of card. Let that lady continue not being interested in sleeping with her hubby and in two months she will get an assistant( a more beautiful one)

This is really strange, if this is happening now, wat would happen when the marriage is 10years.

Is always good to try your sexual prowess with your partner before getting in to anything like marriage.
SORRY.

Dear,u married this guy n plegded to spend the rest of ur life with him,so for ur own good,get it in2 ur head now dat u nid to adapt 2d situation,perhaps ur mind is somwere else,bring it back,unless u've made up ur mind dat sex 4u is over.Or are u getn it somwere else?

She should sleep with the dog then!!!

Get it right, this not the will of God for you. Your Desire must be to your husband. It is the will of God for you. When things are going contrary in marriage, the enemy is at work, there is spiritual connotation to this. You need to grow tall in prayer.

bee444:

I know your how you feel and your reasons my darling,

1, He's not your first choice

2, You married him out of compulsion and 'cos of negative peer pressure

3, Your man is ugly, You always ask yourself why you ended up marrying this ugly mother-f*cker

4, He's a bit loaded and you need security,  and finally

5, Your husband is not fit and doesn't have all the wow factor.

I kinda feel you baby, but you shouldn't have married him in the first place. Not too late though, If you think you can't stand him or he's in no way attractive to you, then you know what to do.  

this just shows the many reason why pple get maaried
who says its all about love

well you cant eat ur cake and have it


wot u can do is learn to love him now dat u r married

@poster
pele.
u don miss road be that

u better get help or your man would definitely go out side. marriage is for a lifetime. no make dat mistake oh cos na time bomb u dey set.

This is a serious matter. You should have known that marriage is serious business, and couples are admonished not to withhold themselves from each other as far as sexual matters are concerned. You did not give any reason for 'feeling not to sleep' with him. You did not say whether you loved him and in a space of two years, the love has waned.

Did you marry him with some expectations and within your time of being together, your expectations are now dashed? Whatever is the reason, since you have made a commitment to live together, you had better learn to accept him as your husband and allow him right of way in between your legs, or you will turn yourself into a punching bag not long from now. As you refuse him the performance of his conjugal duties, he will be forced to seek that elsewhere. Once that happens, he will begin to lose interest in you and before you know it, the fight starts. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Then come Sleep with me

hope this is not a marriage of compromise, there must be a spark somewherejust take ur time to find it, and if u want to enjoy sex then rush to be into it kiss, smooching, play alot b4 getting down, build the atmosphere, wear something romatic get him things that cld turn u on make him happy, even though it seem to me u both went in ill prepared u can still make it work together, (just in case kill ur past and face ur present to create ur feature) wish u all d best

This sounds funny but i know i really serious
but all the same i need us all to tell her to rewind and ask herself why she got married to him at first,
Money, Status, Mama pursue from house, or Maybe His thing was sweeting u then
But u r in it and u gat to make it work
dont believe in divorce

Maybe it was a forced arranged marriage? Even a man will not feel comfortable sleeping with a woman he was forced to marry. Who knows she may have been forced to marry him.

You can deny me other stuffs but I dont joke with se[i]x[/i]

I agree with the verse from 1 Corinthians 7:4 - not yours to decide sugar, shoulda thought about that b4 you said yes I do. I don't understand woman that say this, I am 40 and have never understood this. I am so into my husband, plus how do you sleep without making love with your man first? crazy!

The lady need help.
And the husband might not be the one to help her

well you are not alone in this.

Personally I do feel same and I have not made love with my husband for more than a year now, though this is not something I planned initially when I wanted to marry him but circumstances surrounding the relationship led to this.

He cheated, lied and he kept doing it, does not contribute to the marriage in any way, does not really have interest in the marriage anymore. He was not like that when we got married, got some advice from his mum, that I was too fertile, like he said he is scared of getting me pregnant, but he enjoys himself outside.

I must say that the bond sex creates in marriage cannot be quantified and once there is not sex in marriage there is no marriage.

I have two kids in a marriage of 3 years Feb this year, and in this three years we have only had sex like 5 times and God so did it that I was able to get pregnant and have two kids, now I have resigned to fate, cos he initially started it, refused to touch me for more than 8 months, so I zeroed my mind towards sex, though once in a while he ask for it these days like ones in three month, I do not have interest anymore and I just tell him I am not interested.

He cannot blame me for this, when he started I reported to my people and his people but everyone looked at it as if i was just making noice, he is catching his fun wherever, believing I am that decorating item in his house.

My kids are all I care about now, they are my life and everything.

Nigeria is such a place were we have no places for marriage counselling, that would have been of great help but all we rely on when we have such problems is our Pastors and what they preach to us, and most of the time we are unlucky to fall into the hands of those who will deceive us, that is why I rely on prayers for my problems.

I will advice you to read books, trust in God and pray without ceasing, he will see you through but as much as you can if he ask you for sex do not deny him, because as you have stated you did not mention anything like he is cheating on you or so, that is why my case is different, he cheated on me to the extent that I do not trust him anymore or believe in him.

confusedl:

well you are not alone in this.

Personally I do feel same and I have not made love with my husband for more than a year now,

May God help us.

People should stop castigating this poor woman. These things happen in marriage and it doesnt mean you dont love your husband or whatever. have been married for year with a son and we encountered this problems too.
@poster
its something you should discuss with your husband and both of you find ways to solve. Good luck

Maybe you are possessed and needed deliverance. You may be married to the under world spirit without knowing.
I think you may seek the following pastors : Tb Joshua, Chris Oyakilome, EnochAdeboye, David Oyedepo. Ejike Mbaka.
Uma ukpai  OR other notable Nigerian Pastors.

anajemba:

You may be married to the under world spirit without knowing.

Another probably true spiritual angle.

This is an epitome of marrage for money and not love, her love is somewhere else, where u forced into the marriage? didnt u know ur man b4 u got down the, r u still seeing and getting satisfaction from your school BF? Mayb you just lost ur taste for him ova 9yt? or you met some new guy recently? is he the type that rush ova his s3x meal in 5mins? he obvously does not know how to satisfy his woman!!!! i bet chu that if u r gettin satisfied, u wunt come here to complain! somefin is nat ryt and u do well know wat it is, u can decieve all of us, but not ur self! sit and reflect,

do u even luv this guy or just them money?

i have no ending to this, and hereby take a small bow!

@poster I'm assuming you were directing at me. To the orriginal author.  first off marriage and intimacy are different subjects completely.  intimacy is a perk in a relationship not a requirement, and i know some half wit is going to quote a 2000 year old piece of paper saying otherwise but from a biological standpoint (speak to a Dr for confirmation) intimacy is not a requirement for a healthy life.  now to feel sexy again that is all on you.  feeling sexy comes from within, if you believe yourself to be sexy (though confirmation is helpful) you will feel it.  if do not think you are  sexy, no matter how many people tell you otherwise you will never feel sexy.  if having self esteem issues speak to a licensed counselor (always always always use a licensed counselor or doctor and not those who only claim to be, request to see a copy of their diploma or license, if they refuse move on.  any well respected physican would be more then happy to show it to you).  now to getting pregnant. no one can tell you when you will ovulate without a though check up since all women are different.  you will need to have your hormones mapped, cervical mucus levels checked and temperature taken daily for 2 months min to begin to form a general idea (within 2-3 days).  your stress, diet and exercise will influence you month to month

to you. some people think the entire purpose of marriage is to have someone to have intimacy with.  "getting married to have intimacy is like buying an airline to eat peanuts".  your spouse is you partner, your lifelong companion and friend who will never abandon you as the vows state as long as you cause them no physical of emotional suffering.  now intimacy and children are a perk to marriage, if as im sure some religious _____ is going to yell, if they were entitlements or requirements why didnt god allow for ALL people to have the physical ability to bear children ir have intimacy?  no answer?  then your religious objection is mute.

did you feel this way before marrying him? or its after you got married? if this problem developed after you got married then posters are not wasting their time.
if its been there all along, you must have married him for reasons only you know -then concentrate on those qualities and make the best out of it.

My dear you need to understand what intimacy on the marriage bed means to a full-blooded man. Your marriage is in danger. I advise you get the book "THE ACT OF MARRIAGE" by Tim and Beverly La Haye. It will help you a lot

gal if you cant sleep with your husband then something is wrong both of you go and c a counceller

Seal up your coochie then with concrete cos its not useful anymore or is it?