sabygrace:

I'll advice you guys to invite God into your home.Its the only way out of this.

michelin89:

I am surprised the poster still wants to be his wife's bestfriend. He must really love her, a lot more than she does.










I hope I won't marry a man whose love for me will be three times my love for him or na serious wahala e go be ooo.

SA Goddess:

Generally this kind of love can be fatal, the thing is the more one pushes, the other pulls away!  

michelin89:

I hope I won't marry a man whose love for me will be three times my love for him or na serious wahala e go be ooo.

Donald4u:

True words. But it just goes to show Women can never be satisfied. Whether you love them little or very much, there's always a problem.
@OP
Like I said earlier, if your story is true, then your wife has been a cheating b.i.t.ch. Otherwise, you'll just need to learn how to fulfill your wife's desires. Start by being a listening husband.

michelin89:

I don't think it's peculiar to women alone. Generally human beings take advantage of any situation whereby someone is ready to give more than they give themselves.

Greed is in everyone of us. We shouldn't act holier than thou.

chaircover:

@poster I may be wrong but my gut instinct tells me that this is a cry for help from your wife. If she was playing around or wanted to leave you, she would have found better excuses. She will find an excuse that she can say in public. How can she tell her mother, friends and pastor etc that she is leaving you because you cant do it as well as her ex-boyfriends?

She probably said all those things to get a reaction from you and it worked. She has probably been hinting for months or years that things are not quite right with the relationship but you didn't quite grab it, so she decided to give you some attention grabbing headlines.

No doubt the things she said were despicable but maybe that was the only way she knew how to get to you.

Sometimes, men are on different wavelength's to women and men can be totally engrossed in their quest to put food on the table, forgetting that its not all about money. Women have totally different needs. We need love and affection. We need to be appreciated, we need to talk, we need to be listend to, we need to be affectionately touched and spoken to. Men are sometimes too busy to do all this and the woman begins to feel unloved and un appreciated.

Your wife made the mistake of letting things get so bad before saying anything but I honestly don't believe that she meant what she said. I think that she still loves you or wouldn't be crying when having the discussion with you.

No doubt something is wrong in your relationship and has been for a long time whether you admit it or not. You are married and have been for 10 years, so really you have one of one choice only, which is to try and work things out with your wife. Try & try until you have exhausted all avenues possible.

Go home and make peace with your wife. All the best.

Donald4u:


I aint tryin to act holy or anything. I was just responding to your statement in comparison to one made earlier

michelin89:

My bad!!

michelin89:

True. . .very destructive.

It's better not to be loved at all, IMO.

Donald4u:

So are you implying a loveless marriage is the best?

chaircover:

The poster clearly feels a degree of guilt somewhere; or why would he still be striving to be his wife’s best friend after such a hard hit in the nuts where it hurts the most ego wise?

I think the poster needs to come out with what exactly happened/happening. This woman’s behaviour is not typical. Infact the whole tale doesn’t taste palatable.

I still don’t believe that the woman is sleeping around.

Lets face it, I don’t think that bad s.ex gets worse; it can only get better with time. She coped with the bad s.ex 10 years ago, why is it suddenly an issue now? Which makes me believe that that she was just looking for the hubby to sit up and listen and it worked. She is “wicked”   for doing this but it was probably the only thing she hadn’t already tried to get him to listen to her.

michelin89:

My post was just comparing two situations (in necessarily in marriage):

1. My partner loves me more
2. My partner doesn't love me at all.

In the first scenario you just end up with a lunatic: today he loves you, tomorrow he doesn't.

In the second, although disheartening, you have a partner who doesn't give you mix feelings all the time. His coherence in fact will just easy things for you. And whenever you decide to leave, you won't look back.

sugah:

***All you wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guys, take note***

Donald4u:

The lesser evil, eh? But like they say, In a relationship one partner is always more loving. What happens if you find yourself loving him more than he does to you. Trust me, It'll be hard not to look back.

Truthfully, this whole concept of love irks me. But I feel it's impossible to line out scenarios we haven't experienced. Personally I try to be less loving than my partner in my relationships. But I end up leaving behind girls who still have feelings for me (not all). No scenario looks good really.

Besides, an 'over-loving' husband is not a lunatic, just foolish.

michelin89:

The fact that you are less loving doesn't mean you love less. You can love and decide not to show it. . .but na love you still dey.

chaircover:

@poster I may be wrong but my gut instinct tells me that this is a cry for help from your wife. If she was playing around or wanted to leave you, she would have found better excuses. She will find an excuse that she can say in public. How can she tell her mother, friends and pastor etc that she is leaving you because you cant do it as well as her ex-boyfriends?

She probably said all those things to get a reaction from you and it worked. She has probably been hinting for months or years that things are not quite right with the relationship but you didn't quite grab it, so she decided to give you some attention grabbing headlines.

No doubt the things she said were despicable but maybe that was the only way she knew how to get to you.

Sometimes, men are on different wavelength's to women and men can be totally engrossed in their quest to put food on the table, forgetting that its not all about money. Women have totally different needs. We need love and affection. We need to be appreciated, we need to talk, we need to be listend to, we need to be affectionately touched and spoken to. Men are sometimes too busy to do all this and the woman begins to feel unloved and un appreciated.

Your wife made the mistake of letting things get so bad before saying anything but I honestly don't believe that she meant what she said. I think that she still loves you or wouldn't be crying when having the discussion with you.

No doubt something is wrong in your relationship and has been for a long time whether you admit it or not. You are married and have been for 10 years, so really you have one of one choice only, which is to try and work things out with your wife. Try & try until you have exhausted all avenues possible.

Go home and make peace with your wife. All the best.

calyx:

Sad story really but its just easy to see where this relationship is headed - South! Its just so crazy sometimes that you find it very difficult to believe women.
I just had it with a babe who was sleeping with me and with about three other guys. we all knew ourselves and she was discussing marriage with all of us. Its all so crazy.

I dont even know where to start with another relationship. . .I dont simply know who to trust. God help us. . .we need it.

calyx:

Sad story really but its just easy to see where this relationship is headed - South! Its just so crazy sometimes that you find it very difficult to believe women.
I just had it with a babe who was sleeping with me and with about three other guys. we all knew ourselves and she was discussing marriage with all of us. Its all so crazy.

I dont even know where to start with another relationship. . .I dont simply know who to trust. God help us. . .we need it.