abiolamitodun:
Why are men scared of getting married and why is the number of baby mama increasing
let's discuss

Thanks for this question get a professional advice and answer on Question Nigeria.. www.QuestionNigeria.com thank me later..

Shugavee:
i ask again
U said biologically a women need marriage cause her body would be worn out at some certain age!!! N i asked where in biology is marriage the cure to that?

I never said such.

I said Nature has placed it for women's body to depreciate as they gets older, hence their desperation for marriage, because they know no man will want to marry a woman who's her body isn't intact and fresh.

What do I mean? This is one of the reasons why women prioritize marriage in their lives, yet they'll blame the society for the pressure when they are the ones seeing marriage as their top achievement.

I didn't say a woman biologically needs marriage, I tried letting out the reasons why we should erase this mindset of putting blames on the society for women's desperation for marriage.

Shugavee:

Marriage is societal intitution!!! But puts much pressure on women than men! Emphasis on societal!!! Am sure u did social studies in primary schhol

@Embolden, That's what i'v been wanting to get cleared on, but you are yet to explain that.


Can anyone help tell how the society pressurize women to marriage.

atakamus:
Frankly I am married but I see it as the greatest mistake I have made so far in life. The only succor happen to be my three great children. If had known the real issues that marriage brings, I wouldn't have worked into it. My marriage is eleven years. My wife feels the same way though. Marriage though is not bad but the mentality of women here in Nigeria is very terrible.
I have taken the past 11 years to make my wife realise that she has to to step up so as to help in the up keep of the family. I trained her is school, she said she will not work. I have a shop opened for her, she abandoned the shop for over two years. It is now that she has started entering the shop. The issue now is that I dont know much about the financial activities in the shop. I am still expected to pay the rent of the shop.
This period, I have changed and have become somehow turf on her. It is working out for me. Frankly I don't blame guys that are afraid of marrying. If not for three children, I would have walked away. Now she is petering me for a 4th child and I have told her no for now. i keep tell her she is not serious.

hmmmmmm u are really trying oo.

Some men are scared because they aren't certain whether their wives would cheat on them with a richer dude.

Others have a genuine fear of losing a substantial part of their assets, in the event of a divorce.

KOPT33:
I dated a girl for two years who just got married two months ago. We cohabited for a while, even though it was some of the best times I had in recent memory, I still shudder to think that if I married a woman I:

1- I will lose my personal space. One hour away from her (I work in my home office) she would come and disturb me. Lord! Just one hour

2- Women are too emotional for my liking: she could read the silliest meanings into the most mundane things. I refuse to let explaining myself become a customary feature of my life.

3- Tears. Tears. Tears: at a point, I wondered If I was that bad because I really wasn't doing anything that I couldn't take from anyone

4- Food: I am yet to meet a woman that can match my skills in the kitchen, or have the same eclectic taste for food like I do. I am not interested in changing my cuisine because of any woman

5- Attention: women and attention: ants to honey. I am by nature a very emotionally detached person. I don't want to start relearning how to live my life.

6: Responsibility: I have my life's work. If I get married, I would become weighed down significantly, I would always have to account for somebody. I say NO to that, for now.

There loads and loads of things that I cannot mention, but the joke is on anyone who tells me to "go and marry." Since I screamed at my friends for telling my that crap, it has subsided quite a bit.

This sounds like early 20's age group. You were dating the clingy, immature women. Someone with high education and professional career shouldn't act like that.

GeeString:
I won't go into any long sermon on this I'll just speak from personal experience.

No Nigerian woman is worth the trouble ahead. Infidelity is a serious Nigerian girl issue and it won't leave after marriage rather it will only get worse since her lifelong ambition has been fulfilled and she is now at peace.

Nigerian girls are materialistic and selfish. They do not truly understand the term "love".

Every Nigerian girl 25 & above has engaged in prostitution of some sort be it openly or 'coded'. There are corporate oloshos now sef. By prostitution I mean sleeping with a man for financial gain.

They are just not worth it.

I seriously doubt if I'll ever get married to a Nigerian girl. I'll have two kids from 2 different women & that's it.




Quote me & bash me but kindly produce counter-points or disprove my points while you do so. Oh & lest I forget I have no sisters & my mom is late too.

Goodnight.

Seconded

Most MEN are RAPISTS.

abiolamitodun:
Why are men scared of getting married and why is the number of baby mama increasing
let's discuss

Trust me, women are getting scared too

revontuli:


This sounds like early 20's age group. You were dating the clingy, immature women. Someone with high education and professional career shouldn't act like that.

She was 29 and a few years older. Had been a lawyer for three years before we started dating. Try again.

KOPT33:


She was 29 and a few years older. Had been a lawyer for three years before we started dating. Try again.

Holy hell, that's bad. Real bad. Maybe she was mentally ill?

Safiaa:
Commitment issues. Fear of the unknown. Money problems.

In concurrence of the affirmative oblong cathedral, but the uttar pradesh communal intapugulatary sanitation fermentation is tantamount to the hooka assembly, honorarium indeed, nevertheless great sadiq.

revontuli:


Holy hell, that's bad. Real bad. Maybe she was mentally ill?

Nope, she was a woman in her natural element. How could you even say she was mentally ill!!!

Evince:


Someone please tell me y when most girls hustle and get married, they still went and cheat with their ex that refused to marry them or the ex they couldn't wait for.

Why the hassle to marry then?

the Ex factor...always a problem in marriage.

KOPT33:


Nope, she was a woman in her natural element. How could you even say she was mentally ill!!!

That's not natural at all. That's childish and abnormal behavior.

Women are hungry , not ready to work so therefore they are looking for a man to devour

folake4u:




LMAO, your post is funny though.

OK, to every general rule there's always an exception. Yes girls are materialistic and selfish but there's a proviso here, it doesn't pertain to Nigerian girls alone. There are still girls in this part of the planet that are humble and not easily moved by money(yes ,they really exist). We all should stop hating on Nigerian women and that stereotype that Nigerian girls are this and that should stop. Search and you'd find some girls that are cool headed, it's just that you're not looking at the right direction.
Personally I believe that a person's character be it boy or girl can be traced to one's family values or some sort. There are some families that imbibe discipline and so someone that comes from such a family (even if he /she is poor) will stick to that values and hold tenaciously to it. Like I said, it all narrows down to home training.


Secondly, it is not an established fact that Nigerian girls who've attained the age of 25years or above are or have been "oloshos " whether corporate or industrial at a certain point in their life. Look around you dude, do I need to remind you of the akara seller in your street that is 25yrs or that fine bread seller whose smile is charming and everyone one wants to go "close "to her but yet she stands her ground and would not succumb because she believes she's worth more than that or that extremely beautiful and brilliant girl in your class or at your workplace who seems to be moving ahead of all her colleagues because she's aiming for the top? We all should stop this general notion that Nigerian girls above 25years are "second hand clothes "or chattels. Fine, there are still some mumu girls that fool around but I don't think it's any of your business because in this life, no one owes you anything or any explanation except if such person borrows your stuff .
There are successful women out there who climbed the ladder of success through hard work and determination. I think you should change the people you hang with though .



This is my one pence though. .

Honor oh great priestess, the goat society bows to thee in adoration. You have been chosen as the priestess of sacrifice. Therefore you are mandated and authorised to drink the blood of two red sokoto goats. We hail thee oh great priestess of Justice.

Safiaa:
every man on the internet is anti marriage now lmao. Pleaseee, cry me a river ahbeg. Women receive pressure as much as men do. You live in Nigeria with Nigerian parents, you cannot be a bachelor forever. When you’re 38, single all your mates are married and can’t hang out as much, lonely, nobody to call your own that’s when you’ll be looking upandan for a wife. The pressure from family and friends will be unreal. It always happens. It’s doing you now because you’re young, everybody lives their life to learn the hard way. Go and look at toks2008 or whatever his name is, he’s a perfect example. Just pray that you’ll find a good wife.

A man can never be 38 and single. If he is, he must have very genuine reasons and its mostly because of the present jezebels available
With the condition women give concerning marriage and weddings, all my mates can never be married
No pressure on men to marry, women are more desperate, it gets worse for you ladies yearly
Good wives are hard to find, most women now are lady, dirty and extremely materialistic

revontuli:


That's not natural at all. That's childish and abnormal behavior.

Most women are like that to varying degrees. I have dated enough people so I can tell.

Because marriages are speedily becoming guy's worst nightmares!

GeeString:
I won't go into any long sermon on this I'll just speak from personal experience.

No Nigerian woman is worth the trouble ahead. Infidelity is a serious Nigerian girl issue and it won't leave after marriage rather it will only get worse since her lifelong ambition has been fulfilled and she is now at peace.

Nigerian girls are materialistic and selfish. They do not truly understand the term "love".

Every Nigerian girl 25 & above has engaged in prostitution of some sort be it openly or 'coded'. There are corporate oloshos now sef. By prostitution I mean sleeping with a man for financial gain.

They are just not worth it.

I seriously doubt if I'll ever get married to a Nigerian girl. I'll have two kids from 2 different women & that's it.



Quote me & bash me but kindly produce counter-points or disprove my points while you do so. Oh & lest I forget I have no sisters & my mom is late too.

Goodnight.

Bros.What a savage and blunt release.lol
I won't disagree with your submission because they are very valid based on my experience. However...I would like you to know that there are a few exceptions..say 15-20% of our girls are not really like that..but for majority..It's true.

CSTR1003:
Very simple answer.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. ?

I know guys that sleep with their girlfriends more frequently than a lot of married men do with their wives.

Now how in the universe, are you going to convince those guys to marry?

They are getting The full package already.

They even leave together as couples..so why getting married...

GeeString:
I won't go into any long sermon on this I'll just speak from personal experience.

No Nigerian woman is worth the trouble ahead. Infidelity is a serious Nigerian girl issue and it won't leave after marriage rather it will only get worse since her lifelong ambition has been fulfilled and she is now at peace.

Nigerian girls are materialistic and selfish. They do not truly understand the term "love".

Every Nigerian girl 25 & above has engaged in prostitution of some sort be it openly or 'coded'. There are corporate oloshos now sef. By prostitution I mean sleeping with a man for financial gain.

They are just not worth it.

I seriously doubt if I'll ever get married to a Nigerian girl. I'll have two kids from 2 different women & that's it.




Quote me & bash me but kindly produce counter-points or disprove my points while you do so. Oh & lest I forget I have no sisters & my mom is late too.

Goodnight.

How many did you actually date before this your conclusion?

Is it from the little number you saw friends or family experiences that you have come to this conclusion?

Are there Nigerian women that have remained married and are faithful?

Do you have any family or friends who have been married to good Nigerian women?

Lastly, are your sisters,female cousins,mum part of this your conclusion?

MrBrownJay1:


but the problem here is...
A) if a man does NOT want to get married, then that should be the end of the discussion
B) it can NEVER be the end of discussion because this is not about men, but it is solely about WOMEN (and their body clock) who are the ones desperate to find a mate (at any cost) and who would therefore see men unwilling to get married as an abomination (but hey, who will marry them single babes if baby mamas are willing to settle with men unmarried?!?)
C) you are trying to scare this man by telling him about what "may" happen in a few yrs.....while we all know that this aint true.
D) but even if it was true, the way women are desperate to get married these days, ANY man of ANY age, with the right economic status (aka a good job/house/pocket money), can find 10 women to marry, on ANY given day of the week, in Nigeria.

so the important question would be: why the rush for marriage?!

The magic word 9ja women want to hear is marriage. Mention marriage to a girl with an investor (boyfriend) of 5 years and she will follow you.

Just show her a comfortable apartment, a nice car, and put your bank statement with even just 1m in a place she will definitely see it and she's yours. Even if the investor has spent 1 million on her, without ever mentioning marriage she will leave him.

The number of girls that suddenly marry, just because a guy suddenly popped up to marry them is alarming. The church is partly playing a role in this. Girls are encouraged to marry not minding if they are ready for it, have the right guy or have the right motive.

Many girls have married complete strangers. Because that was the only one who showed up with the magic word. I have lost count of how many sm media friends doing slay queens a few years back who are now in bad marriages. Most of them suddenly announced engagement or marriage with much fanfare on sm.

When you ask why they never mentioned they had a serious bf you hear things like "my brother e just happen o, we just met earlier this year o, my uncle abroad introduced us o, etc.

Our women want to dump all their wahala on a man's head and they feel the best commitment is marriage. Even most working class girls. But marriage does not suddenly make anyone responsible these days. It comes from within.

Never mind what many ladies try to argue here online. They are only being defensive. MOST aspire to marrying a well off guy. The sooner the better. We know this from real life. QED.

Grayjoy:
The thing is many of such people are yet to encounter non Nigerian ladies. When they happen to go out to other countries, they will change their line of thoughts. I hate hearing stupid generalization like he did. Even the Nigerian ladies, he is yet to encounter a quarter of their population in the place he resides.
Just like a song says "na after we go, we go know....."

As in!!! It makes them sound very unintelligent and unenlightened. Using their shallow choice of girlfriends or the girls in their "yard" or area to judge us all. Very small minded thinking

I deliberately had a baby mama at 24, now i'm 30, and a free agent. plus my son is doing great and growing strong. it feels good this way, I might even end up not getting committed to any lady. it disgust me how marriage is been conducted in Nigeria with all the unnecessary expenditure as if the marriage will be happiness all through.. and also how the girls behaves on their wedding day as if they just won a government lottery. now i'm free and can nack any international pxssy i like without being questioned by anyone coz i aint married. the benefits are enormous fellas. marriage is overrated/old skool.

Safiaa:
every man on the internet is anti marriage now lmao. Pleaseee, cry me a river ahbeg. Women receive pressure as much as men do. You live in Nigeria with Nigerian parents, you cannot be a bachelor forever. When you’re 38, single all your mates are married and can’t hang out as much, lonely, nobody to call your own that’s when you’ll be looking upandan for a wife. The pressure from family and friends will be unreal. It always happens. It’s doing you now because you’re young, everybody lives their life to learn the hard way. Go and look at toks2008 or whatever his name is, he’s a perfect example. Just pray that you’ll find a good wife.

As much as you are entitled to your opinion which I respect ...I must say that this is nothing more than myth .

It's called " lonely old man " .

I'm going to use this to talk to as many men as possible who are willing to listen .

The gist of this is simple if you do not get married or choose to not get married on time you will be lonely .

Sadly it's ironic that a good percent of elderly married are lonely despite being married . Why do you think a lot of men seek the company of young women .

In my opinion this is no more than scare tactic conjured up by the society to pressure men into this concept of marriage .

When the truth is that for men the older you are the more sexual market place value you have. This fact . As far as you know who you are and place priority on your goals and work on yourself ...the fruits of your labor will surely come .

There are many misleading truths going on in society that young men are believing to their detriment .

I've said it before and I will say it again .. . The only reason to get married is for legal convenience and to legitimize your children . Other than it is not worth it.

I won't go into red pill vs blue pill and how this has lead to much endured disaster for naive men today .

And if you insist on getting married ...honestly it's all good . However I insist that change your beta mindset and master the skills needed to survive in a relationship with a woman .

As always I don't hate women .

I love y'all .

God created love ...we humans just misbehave with it .

for me the reason why i ain't married yet, no Job to support family lifestyle
Still hustling for a better future if God allows

Nigeria men are getting lazy dats y!! if our fore parents didn't get married on time will dey have u at there age? its so sad DAT a man of 45 is just thinking about marriage at dis time, at wat age will his first child be? lol the earlier the beta. u guys should beta get ur ass up and hustle hard .a man is to marry a woman not d other way round

One more thing I see a lot of men here believe that foreign women are different from Nigerian women .

This erroneous belief is akin to thinking that call of duty is different from Black ops . I just couldn't resist . Only gamers will understand . Go figure .

But I digress .

I'm not going to talk much so as not to derail this thread or digress from the subject matter.

But gentlemen Google this " AWALT " ...I won't tell you what it means but I pray this starts you on a journey of discovery .

I'm just tired of seeing young boys programmed into being apps ( men ) that have no idea of what is going on in society when it comes to interpersonal relationships .

No one asks why ? You just do ...do ...and say " I do " .

Safiaa:
Just pray that you’ll find a good wife.

There is nothing like a "good wife"...I rather subscribe to the phrase "manageable wife"

abiolamitodun:
Why are men scared of getting married and why is the number of baby mama increasing
let's discuss

1. Money

2. Current character of ladies