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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage (36689 Views)
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Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Haryorbammmy(m): 11:21pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
In this age when you can easily get the baby tested once the pregnancy is 3 months and you flush it out if the result comes out SS. Chairman, leave your brother alone and go start your family. You all just think it is easy for everyone to just let go of their loved ones. Your brother emotional level might be different from urs. So leave that lover boy alone! 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 11:22pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
bong4: My brother, IVF is practiced in not less than 10 hospitals in Lagos. It's not as hard as it was about 3 years ago and people are benefitting immensely from it. If they can't afford IVF, it's another matter entirely. My own problem is that they must not gamble and claim faith in God. That is very wrong and evil. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by 1Sharon(f): 11:23pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
bong4: Have you heard of amniocentesis? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by bong4(m): 11:23pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Your concern is genuine. Call your brother and the lady and sit them and talk with them in love. They can still be friends outside marriage and be happy seeing the other person being happy in their homes. Tell them the consequences of their action. There are so many prayer points to pray for in marriage and prayer against sickled children has been answered even before marriage. Let pressure of age not force them into wrong marriage. It is not how far but how well. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by kabillion(m): 11:24pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
He has faith in his semen n d*ck |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by codedcliq: 11:24pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
bong4: Planning. There is something called planning. Reduce the wedding expense by 50% and you will likely have the money you need. (or maybe just to add a little more) |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by juola(f): 11:27pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
its not a must they start having children immediately, they can save up some money for at least a year or two then go ahead with the IVF. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 11:27pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
bong4: Have you been to Luth to ask about the CVS test? I have gone there and and received counselling on it. Have you walked into fertility clinics to inquire about IVF? I have done that. Any advice I'm giving is not Internet nonsense. I've checked it out and backed it up. You're quoting Bible now to ask him to walk away, but you've forgotten that God is a God of making impossibility possible? We're both quoting from the same Bible. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Dammylois(f): 11:27pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
With all I've seen at the hospital,there is no way I will advice two people both As to get married...love is wryn them but reality will soon dawn on them,the sleepless nights,the emotional trauma,the stress and all...I just hope they know what they are about signing for...well I learnt there's a form of selection now that helps if there's money...but I'd rather not put myself in a tight situation...I already lost two of my friends due to sickle cell and I can't imagine anyother |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Kingson01(m): 11:27pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: i think is ur brother u need 2 talk nt d poor lady. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 11:29pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
1Sharon: Lol You want to kill him? Where does he want to hear of it if not from here. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 11:29pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Sultan5:you are absolutely right, some people think relationship is all about making children.. they don't care about the feelings and faith of the couples.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by SoapQueen(f): 11:29pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Awwww. You are frazzled, I see that. Let your parents interfere. She is a health care giver, so she should know the deleterious effect of what she is about to do! Mother of Nursing, Florence Nightingale would turn in her grave! |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by 1Sharon(f): 11:29pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Jethrolite: So much ignorance and naivety in this post . You really need to update ur knowledge cos sickle cell is not how it used to be and is not what you assume it is. Ignoramus |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DopeAngel(m): 11:29pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
juola:i want whats best for them. i dont think any couple wants to go through the whole stress involved in IVF while they see others enjoying their marriage. i know ivf costs a lot of money. that money can be used to by my brother for other better things. dont you think. have you really seen happy couples making babies through ivf. please i just need answers. i think it involves a lot of stress, time, investment and strong emotional backings to go throug such. i want my brother to be happy not going through all these in marriage. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Aremolekunowo(m): 11:31pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Please beg your brother and his fiancée not to try it, it happened to me two years ago, I fell in love with my girl I told her I was AS but she lied about her own that she was AA I later discovered after the marriage that she AS when she gave birth to a sickle cell boy. have bn spending a lot of money since then on different sickness and buying drugs every time. Intact the love have disappeared from my heart have told her to go am not longer interested in the marriage cos I cant cope with another SS child ,my marriage may crash any moment from now. no matter the love when d crises of as comes love will vanish because u won't even have time for the so called love please no one should encourage AS vs AS marrige 6 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 11:33pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: My brother, I have enormous respect for your concern over your brother. However, my own is that he's wrongly insisting on faith and gambling when there are medical solutions. Also, you're wrong for insisting on their breakup when they are happy with what they have. Let them find what works for them but they must never leave it to chance. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Kingson01(m): 11:33pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Oyenike01: Abi oh! d guy jst dey talk like say him get personal issue wit d lady. Mr. man d best person u can talk 2 is ur brother nt d poor lady 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by bong4(m): 11:34pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
1Sharon: My dear, even pronouncing this thing is twisting my tongue. Checking it out on google even shows that it is not a regular test that doctors recommend. I have two healthy kids and during the course to their birth, no doctor mentioned this. My wife and I are compatible and we did all the test recommended (genotype, rhesus etc) to ensure that. It is not as easy as stated ooo. All the guy wants is a happy home for his brother. My sister's late mother in law disliked her cos she and her husband went ahead to marry despite their incompatibility. Both of them are even medical doctors. All the ivf and this one you mentioned, I am sure they knew. They lost their first two daughters to sickle cell. God's Mercy kept them and they now have two healthy girls again. But I tell you, the first 12 years of that marriage wasn't complete without visits to the hospital, blames, cries and even burial of two lovely girls. You wouldn't want to hear the full gist. God is merciful and powerful but He has given us wisdom and power of choice. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by OkoYibo: 11:35pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Aremolekunowo: Sorry bro. Her non disclosure is very evil and criminal. If you are still interested in a way out, you may check this thread and research further on it online. https://www.nairaland.com/1050015/cvs-amniocenthesis-diagnosis-centres-nigeria Your decision remains yours. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by mamawin(f): 11:37pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
yvelchstores:You just spoke my mind there. I bet neither of them has a sickler as a close relative. What is the gain? 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DopeAngel(m): 11:37pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Harkindeylee:exactly.thanks bro. I have tried all i can to talk him out. i think i have to involve extended family members. this is more than me |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by ologun01(m): 11:37pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Tell your brother to read about CVS and IVF + PGD. These are medical ways to avert having a SS child. And if you are in Lagos...go to the Sickle cell centre, opposite luth at idi Araba. They do the CVS testing at the place. But first read about it and have an understanding. There is no need to dissolve the marriage and they can marry and not have a SS child. There are medical ways to it now. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by juola(f): 11:40pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
[quote author=DopeAngel post=67003818] i want whats best for them. i dont think any couple wants to go through the whole stress involved in IVF while they see others enjoying their marriage. i know ivf costs a lot of money. that money can be used to by my brother for other better things. dont you think. have you really seen happy couples making babies through ivf. please i just need answers. i think it involves a lot of stress, time, investment and strong emotional backings to go throug such. i want my brother to be happy not going through all these in marriage.[/quote I know you want the best for them. But they have made up there mind. I have been through 6heartbreaks and if I find a man who is AS and is a very good person,I will go for him. All they need is to know what we are doing. Its not compulsory for them to start making babies immediately they get married. let them save money for the IVF and limit the number of children they want to maybe two or three. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Nobody: 11:42pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
get a well sharpened cutlass, take a bottle of schnapps and go to her to threaten her. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by DopeAngel(m): 11:44pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
OkoYibo:thanks man. The faith thing is exactly my worry. The decision was not borne out of faith but it was made due to desperation to get married and avoid another disappointment if he leaves this girl. He is not stable right now emotionally. But it seems like you are married already? |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by baqina(m): 11:45pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
Hhhhmmm... Surprised at some of the comments.... The OP is being selfish and wicked. One thing about us Nigerians is that, we are too aggressive.We get angry and aggressive unnecessarily and we think our opinions count in other people's life... Everybody has his/her own life to live. Getting married to AS is not a death sentence, there are so many improvements in medicine that has reduced the fear.... Marriage is not about giving birth only..... So many AA couples are childless and malaria kills millions of babies every year before age 5... Visit sickle cell Foundation in Lagos, they will suggest so many options ur brother can take... PNS is not up to N300,000 at SCF...... 234-1-7621522 +234-803 584 6666 +234-8100002001 +234-8100002003 info@sicklecellfoundation.com scf-ng@hotmail.com The Programme Coordinator Sickle Cell Foundation Nigeria National Sickle Cell Centre, Opp Lagos University Teaching Hospital(LUTH), Ishaga Road, Idi-araba, Lagos. P.O Box , 3463 Surulere, Lagos. +234-803 584 6666 The address of SCF. U can call them on the phone, though, they might sound rude but it is good u pay them a visit.... AS-AS getting married is not as deadly as u think.. There are options the couples can consider before saying I do. That ur brother avoids AS partners doesn't mean he is immune to all other diseases ravaging d world. 4 Likes |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by bong4(m): 11:49pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
DopeAngel: Whatever we say here, the decision is still theirs. But the best people they can listen to are those who have or are passing through this issue and how they tackled theirs. Wise men now learn from others experience! |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Jethrolite(m): 11:49pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
1Sharon:Please tell me what it is now. I want to be educated. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by Rajosh(m): 11:49pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
you're biased. Both of them are AS but you're hating on the girl that she's coming to ruin your brother's unborn children as if they are not also hers. they know what they're getting themselves into, you've advised and they refused to listen. let them be. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by jookco(m): 11:50pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
It's 2018 Bro, at ten months pregnancy they have a technology that can test if the child will be ss and terminate the pregnancy and you try another time, you can have 4 good children out of five only one will test positive of ss and you can terminate it before the baby grow in the belly. Go google it bro and leave your brother alone. One things they will not escape having all AS Children. |
Re: My Brother & His Fiancee Are Both AS, Yet He Wants To Go Ahead With The Marriage by ologun01(m): 11:52pm On Apr 24, 2018 |
baqina: It's 270,000 as at February sef |
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