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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! (42336 Views)
My Brother In-law Is Making Advances At Me / Help! My Sister In-law Is Seducing Me / My Mother In-law Is Doing This , And She Is Pushing Me !!! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Izen: 8:38am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: You're talking like this because the woman is bringing in the dough here. If it was the man, you wouldn't mind him calling all the shots. The hypocrisy on this thread. This justifies my resolve that Nigerian men are the ones putting financial pressure on themselves not the women. I mean, how else will they call the shots? They need to remain in that financial position of power to call all the shots init? I hope we reach a level in our society where every human is respected not because of the size of their accounts. 1 Like |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Ikpongiton: 8:38am On May 25, 2018 |
ashjay001:dont mind the first class or first grade belgium. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Peterosky(m): 8:39am On May 25, 2018 |
Op,if your wife has millions in her account like you said, think of a business idea, ask her to borrow you money for the business to enable you stand as a man.But make sure you pay her back. But again, this should serve as a lesson to unmarried young guys, don't marry without a job.I will further advise that you don't marry any woman that is richer than you. My own little advice from my own opinion though. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by CAPSLOCKED: 8:48am On May 25, 2018 |
Tozara: THEIR HYPOCRISY IS SECOND TO NONE. MOST OF THEM WHO BLINDLY JOIN THE BANDWAGON DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, NEITHER DO THEY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. THEY THINK THEY'VE GOT IT FIGURED OUT JUST BY HAVING ACCESS TO THE INTERNET WHERE THEY CAN FOÖL THEMSELVES IN ONE ACCORD. NOT KNOWING THEY NEVER GON ACHIEVE ANYTHING WITH THAT TYPE OF LIFE. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by edonbeta: 8:51am On May 25, 2018 |
The mistake has been made already. Human beings make mistakes but thank God you are still alive and things will become better for you. Please see my views as a family man, below: 1. Hand over your challenges to God in prayer. Do not stop praying, knowing that God still answers prayers. 2. Do not relent in your search for a job. Chat with old and new friends and let them know that you are looking for a job. Subscribe to online job alerts; visit the sites of recruitment agents; when you go out, talk to people about job, do not shy away. Make sure you go out most times so your wife won't be seeing you at home always. 3. Continue to love your wife, let her know that you are making effort to get a job. Also, let her know that you are not comfortable with a third party dictating the affairs of your family just because you do not have a job currently. 4. Do not shout at your wife, do not argue with her. Learn to keep calm even if she brags or insults you. Continue to respect your wife. 5. Make new friends. Do not wait for opportunity, create an opportunity to make friends.Attend public functions where you can make new contacts. 6. Let your CV be well prepared and handy. Check your email regularly in case you might be invited for an interview through your email. 7. You should buy data from telecom SME agents who sells data that has 3 months validity so you don't buy data every month. 8. Only make calls that are necessary. You don't have to call all the numbers that flashes you. Chat more and make less calls 9. Do not runaway from your home due to to current challenge.it is not a permanent challenge.Face the challenge as a man. 10. Do not talk about pride or ego at the moment. Just be humble, do not talk much, let your brain walk. 11. Dont despair, God is in charge. If you subject yourself to psychological and mental stress and anything happens to you and you are no more, belief me, your wife will remarry in no distant time. You will no die before your time in Jesus name (amen). 13. Do some domestic chores yourself e.g. wash your clothes, clean the house if it is dirty, you can cook if your wife is busy with your child, dispose the dustbin when you are at home. Just make yourself valuable. 14. Join groups/clubs/societies that can add value to your life. Some members of such groups assist other members when the need arises. I AM NOT ADVISING YOU TO JOIN SECRET CULTS. 15. Be prudent. Spend whatever money that enters your hand wisely. 16. Alotbof people advice you, be wise. Yo don't have to take advise that will destroy you and your home. Ask for divine wisdom to guide you. 17. Finally, do not give up, look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. Good luck. 3 Likes |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by prettyboi1(m): 8:57am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: My brother, don't panic. It can still be solved. Thankfully, you and your wife are still together. First and foremost, women are built for comfort & so when anything changes that, they become agitated....they usually don't even realize that. Men on the other hand are built to make way. You don't need to make all the money in the world for your wife to love you or start respecting you. She just needs to see you take charge. How can you take charge? First & foremost, cut your father-in-law's influence off. How can you do that? Start looking for a job. Preferably,look for a job outside the city where your father-in-law lives. If you can afford to relocate your wife & kid(s) with you to the new city, do it....if you can't afford to do that, be the only one who works in the new city but make an arrangement to always see your wife and kid(s) weekly, fortnightly,monthly or however you deem convenient for your family. When you can do this, your wife will see effort & if she loves you and she's reasonable she will support you and even fight for you against her parents' control. Another option is if you have some reasonable savings from the monies your father-in-law has supported you both with, try to start a really well-thought business & once you start that, stop collecting monies from them. The bottom line is that you should cut off your father-in-law's financial support to you. I am sure that the support he offers you may be from a good heart, but that also cuts your own influence in your own home & increases his own influence in your home. Stay strong, brother. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Coutinho14: 8:58am On May 25, 2018 |
What kinda story is this one sef? Bros if this is true, then it's either you a gold digger hiding behind your First Class certificate or you a special kinda stupid, like world record stupid. Your father in-law pays your rent? I've heard it all. Am sorry but you sold your dignity the moment you sat back and started enjoying your father in-law's money (who does that?), now you want to be the MAN, what man?. Except you are financially buoyant enough to pay back what was spent on you, you are the WOMAN of the house. 2 Likes |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Lightening: 9:01am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: The moment Esau ate Jacob's porridge, he paid back with his birthright. You have traded in the control of your home as husband and father for prepaid rent and food stuffs. Nothing at all is free. If you really don't like the meddlesomeness of your FIL, of which is just the beginning, cut of his welfares immediately. It will cost you some convenience momentarily, but you will surely rebound. It is important to know that they don't see you as a great inlaw and will never respect you until you become a man. Nobody respects a dependant-adult neither does he deserve it. Goodluck. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by edonbeta: 9:05am On May 25, 2018 |
The mistake has been made already. Human beings make mistakes but thank God you are still alive and things will become better for you. Please see my views as a family man, below: 1. Hand over your challenges to God in prayer. Do not stop praying, knowing that God still answers prayers. 2. Do not relent in your search for a job. Chat with old and new friends and let them know that you are looking for a job. Subscribe to online job alerts; visit the sites of recruitment agents; when you go out, talk to people about job, do not shy away. Make sure you go out most times so your wife won't be seeing you at home always. 3. Continue to love your wife, let her know that you are making effort to get a job. Also, let her know that you are not comfortable with a third party dictating the affairs of your family just because you do not have a job currently. 4. Do not shout at your wife, do not argue with her. Learn to keep calm even if she brags or insults you. Continue to respect your wife. 5. Make new friends. Do not wait for opportunity, create an opportunity to make friends.Attend public functions where you can make new contacts. 6. Let your CV be well prepared and handy. Check your email regularly in case you might be invited for an interview through your email. 7. You should buy data from telecom SME agents who sells data that has 3 months validity so you don't buy data every month. 8. Only make calls that are necessary. You don't have to call all the numbers that flashes you. Chat more and make less calls 9. Do not runaway from your home due to to current challenge.it is not a permanent challenge.Face the challenge as a man. 10. Do not talk about pride or ego at the moment. Just be humble, do not talk much, let your brain walk. 11. Dont despair, God is in charge. If you subject yourself to psychological and mental stress and anything happens to you and you are no more, belief me, your wife will remarry in no distant time. You will no die before your time in Jesus name (amen). 13. Do some domestic chores yourself e.g. wash your clothes, clean the house if it is dirty, you can cook if your wife is busy with your child, dispose the dustbin when you are at home. Just make yourself valuable. 14. Join groups/clubs/societies that can add value to your life. Some members of such groups assist other members when the need arises. I AM NOT ADVISING YOU TO JOIN SECRET CULTS. 15. Be prudent. Spend whatever money that enters your hand wisely. 16. Since she has millions in her account, if you have any business idea, ask her politely if she can give you some money to start it. If she subscribes to your idea, fine. Or if she is a business person, let her do the set up of the business. Please plan the business well. 17. Alot of people advice you, be wise. Yo don't have to take advise that will destroy you and your home. Ask for divine wisdom to guide you. 18. Finally, do not give up, look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. Good luck. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by jclassiq(m): 9:10am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: THEN ASK HER TO LOAN YOU SOME MONEY TO START A BUSINESS, IF YOU CAN DO BUSINESS. AT LEAST THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF YOUR STANDING WITH HER AS YOUR WIFE. YOU MADE THE GRAVE MISTAKE OF RESIGNING YOUR JOB FOR LOVE AND THEN JUMPING INTO MARRIAGE WHILE STILL UNEMPLOYED. BUT THE DEED IS DONE. JUST BE PERSISITENT |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by prettyboi1(m): 9:17am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: My brother, don't be mad at her. Like I said in my earlier reply to you, women are built for comfort and anything that jeopardizes that starts to put them on edge...unknowingly. That does not mean that a woman will not support you when you don't have money. As a matter of fact, there are women out there who will ride or die for men who have no money but after sometime, they start to lose their focus either because of fatigue, what their friends are feeding their minds etc. It's usually not always intentionally for such women to turn their backs on theirs guys...it's just that the pressure unknowingly starts to get to them at some point & that's why it's important that the man sees logically enough to know that his woman may have more money than him or she may not even have, but he shouldn't worry about her own money but worry about being able to at least provide the basics for her. I guarantee you, your wife may still very much love you,it's just that pressure's getting to her & she doesn't realize it. Sit her and talk to her, tell her your dreams,ambitions & visions & ask her to support you in achieving those for both of you and your family & then do all the other things I advised you to do in my last reply. Stay strong & focused. 1 Like |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Lotechi(m): 9:25am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner:If truth be told, the home is not yours. You are his adopted son cum in-law who he takes care of. If you are expecting him to act otherwise when he is 100% responsible for your wellbeing then you are even more naïve than I I first thought. So u cannot use his wealth and connection to your advantage?? |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Nobody: 9:30am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner:Don't quit. Solution is to try to start making your own money no matter how little. Women love to receive from their men even if they have more money. You can start a small business from some of the money your father in-law and wife have given you in the past. Or you get from them and start. This will enable you to contribute your own quota towards the running of your household. Overtime perhaps you would be able to assume full leadership of your home when you eventually make enough to pay rent etc. For now, lay low and plan on how to make money and better your life. Divorce isn't the immediate solution. Making your own money is the first step. And don't blame your wife or inlaws. Did you expect them to keep helping you for long without them taking control? No. This is a natural law of nature. Their help was supposed to be temporary na .Just to set you guys up. Count yourself lucky. Not many son-in-laws have that privilege. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Brainardc(m): 9:39am On May 25, 2018 |
Eeeyaaah!. ....that's one of the reasons you should work hard to pay your bills......but wives stop disrespecting your husbands no matter the situation you currently find yourself in.. .... |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Mayflowa(m): 9:51am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: First classes usually get full ride scholarship in the US. You need to search online for graduate course there and start planning on moving except you enjoy the hot soup you are in! |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by GuntersChain(m): 9:53am On May 25, 2018 |
too bad you went to marry ,,'daddy must hear this', don't give in to anger just play it cool so you don't loose your wife and kid to your in law. only you can give yourself the advise you seek. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by seyezy: 9:58am On May 25, 2018 |
Can't you start a business of your own? must you wait for a company to give you employment before you can get your life together? There are so many entrepreneurship program, some free and some you have to pay. Get skilled and look for an office space were you can practice and stop give this excuses of Finding a well paying job. Or was your first class meant for working for someone else? [quote authnningwinner post=67827049]Hmmmm! Most of the replies I get for expressing myself on this platform have left me confused. Thanks to the few people that truly understand my plight to offer advice. The mistake has been made and no one is above mistake. I take all the blame, but I'm sincerely tired of the whole thing. I want to quit. Finding a well paying job now is not very easy. I need divine intervention.[/quote] |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by ifko: 10:00am On May 25, 2018 |
CeeManCollins:winning winner ds s 4 uu. dont leave ur home. endurance s d key. Most women have bad mouth. keep praying job will come.Also sit her down at night and talk sense to her brain. i know she still loves uu. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by millionboi2: 10:14am On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner:when u are like dis men, bcoz u want to marry big man pinkin My friend datz d disadvantage that comes with marrying ppl from a very rich home. So carry ur load.
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Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by prettyboi1(m): 10:30am On May 25, 2018 |
AUTOCRATIC: Great advice! |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by BlackyOne: 10:42am On May 25, 2018 |
Technically your father in-law is your new boss, and the only way to gain control is to get a job and take charge of your responsibility....be a man 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel 1 Like |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by bikefab(m): 10:50am On May 25, 2018 |
I wanted to call u a gold digger...or one of those annoying names for men who cant step up their games in the home front but let me just hold my peace. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Nobody: 11:56am On May 25, 2018 |
babanne: Bro exact same tin happened to me but I opted for the brave part. Except babalawo. Hope I'll b safe spiritually o |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by chioma134: 12:08pm On May 25, 2018 |
vicaro7:Savage. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by Ultraf: 12:08pm On May 25, 2018 |
My advice is that you have a very intimate discussion with your wife, observe her best moment. Then eloquently, tactfully and romantically hit the nail at the head. Insist on self dependent, that all you need from the parents is help to stand on your own. If you are business oriented, a loan can do, start something on your own. I believe you are not an island, you had class, course mates and friends in and out of schools. Rekindle your old friends, many sincere and genuine friends who are self employed can be of assistance. Don't limit yourself to monthly job or salary Jobs. What's your wife's take, by the way what would she rely on after the demise of her parents? Ask her this question. You can equally present the option of long journey in search of your destiny, if she truly loves and cherishes your union, should join in think tank in search of a lasting solution. But stop at nothing until you stand on your own, accept and receive assistance loan like from the parents, but reject every bait or trap of dependence. Please maximize your first-class genus and brilliant brain into productive venture. Reject any form of dependent patronage, it destroys marriage and destinies. Take your wife into confidence about your plans, and frustration and your hurts. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by sammylink: 12:11pm On May 25, 2018 |
take care of your home? do you really have a home. he who runs the home owns the home. in this instance, your father in-law owns the home. you sold your dignity for a plate of porridge. sorry for you . |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by chiteny(m): 12:12pm On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: You finished your annoying story with a very stupid question. If you were in your father-inlaw's shoes and you pay all the bills would you not do the same? He who pays the piper dictates the tune. In as much as i don't want to go back to the past, i have to revisit it as it was the bed rock of your folly. You quite your job because your girlfriend asked you to. Then you gladly accept your father-inlaw's "money gestures" till now because they are rich. You simply sold your man-hood to your wife's family. I'm sorry to say that you are a toy in their hands. More sorrow await you if you don't take a drastic action now. Nonsense (sorry a little bit pissed off) How to correct your wrong? YOU NEED A JOB OR SOURCE OF LIVELY HOOD AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY!!!! By this you will regain your manhood. It will be tough with your wife used to her parents financing everything and you always being around the house. But you have to man up in order to avoid stories that touch tomorrow. I know what i am saying. I have much more to say but will stop here for now. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by biggymummy: 1:45pm On May 25, 2018 |
gold digger, now you will be their slave if care is not taken because that was their plans for you. Rich people with their stupid plans for the poor. o boy, e be like say u don enter am o but GOD will provide job for you sha |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by zicoraads: 1:53pm On May 25, 2018 |
PrimadonnaO:My dear, I saw the thread, didn't even have the strength to post any comment. These days, posting any comment feels like so much work. Nothing said on the thread is new tbh. Or is there anything I should know? |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by PrimadonnaO(f): 3:07pm On May 25, 2018 |
zicoraads: It talks about the troubles that would most often be the case in a home if the man isn't the majority provider. |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by zicoraads: 3:39pm On May 25, 2018 |
PrimadonnaO:Oh, that! I really think a woman's upbringing plays a huge part in this. Not every lady or family would see this as something to disrespect the man for. My two elder sisters are basically the providers in their homes. The cars, rent, children's fees etc. is all on them. Still, this family respects the men their siblings are married to all the time. In short, if I want my sister to send even one kobo to me for any reason, she'll always refer me to her hubby. The house finances are majorly his to handle anyway. No one's condition is permanent. No one knows what tomorrow holds. 1 Like |
Re: My Father-in-law Is Making My Wife To Disrespect Me! by SmallSimba: 6:48pm On May 25, 2018 |
winningwinner: Your girl loves you i believe. Maybe she too is facing pressure from her dad. Have you told her what you feel? |
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