Before I give my advice i will like to ask some question.

Do you have a car/Ride even if its a space bus?

Do you have any savings at all??

Do you have friends around??

Please answer this from there we can know where to start from.

From the moment you decided to quit your job before you secure a new one I began to question your ability to make good decisions.. You did not give any examples of situations where your wife chose her father's decision over yours and what was your position in that instance but since I don't really trust you to make good decisions I will advise that you continue being the toy boy that you are, don't have more than two kids and always obey the rules set by your father in-law so that you don't destroy his daughter's life with your stupidity.. Academic brilliance does not guarantee street wisdom.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

The question is: when will you prove that you are the man? Crazy mofo! You are being fed by your father in law and you are complaining.

A real man knows that women are emotional beings who make decisions based on emotion. The reason why God made the man the head of the house and stripped him of the emotional stuff is so that he can make decisions with his head and not his hormones.

From the time of Adam till now, anytime a man that makes a rash decision such as quitting a job without a ready alternative or a backup plan is only courting disaster.

Now you have to prove yourself a man. The man is created as the provider of his own household. You should never accept help from your father in law as a man. Indeed, a man who has decided to leave his father and mother to marry should not even collect certain kinds of help from his own parents!

Since you have proven to your father in law and your wife that you are still a child who is incapable of making rational decisions, why would your wife listen to anything you say?

Guy ur matter weak me!!!
Nothing much to do except the Needful.

1. Go In search of a Job yourself dont let the man get u the Job!.

2. Your Wife is legally yours not her fathers daughter cus she bears ur name. Just discuss with her be rest assured she will tell her father.

3. On no Occasion should yu run from your House? Dats where u lose total Control.

4. Go search for the job if u get am give update d Advice go continue

First Class no Job, This country is damned. I’m supriesed the school you graduated from didn’t retain you. This is really terrible

[b]MY MAN, SHIT HAS HAPPENED ALREADY. All U NEED TO DO NOW IS TO FIND A WAY TO TALK TO YOUR FATHER,S WIFE AND LET HIM HELP YOU GET A JOB AND YOU NEED IT BADLY.
TALK TO UR MAMA IN-LAW IF SHE ISNT SAME WITH THEM, ABOUT YOU TAKING OVER YOUR HOME AND THINGS YOU THINK ISNT RIGHTTHAYS HAPPENING IN UR HOME. IF SHE IS LIKE THEM AND THINGS WON'T CHANGE... THEN SAVE SOME GOOD CASH, START A BUISNESS AND TAKE OVER YOUR HOUSE EVEN IF UR NOT AS RICH AS THEM YET. LET HER NOW MAKE HER CHOICE, IF ITS HER FAMILY OR YOU HER LOVE. BUT IN ALL PLS RESPECT YOUR WIFE AND DON'T ABUSE HER RIGHT OR BE SO MUCH AUTHORITATIVE OVER HER. SHE IS UR PATNER.

winningwinner:


Thanks a lot, but how much money will I be able to make now that will bring back the usual love my wife had for me? Will I be able to satisfy her in anything again? I actually need to dislodge her father and start marrying her as my wife or else I take a far journey away from home.

Get a facking JOB.

Before Nko?

Gold digging is deadly guy.

Goodluck

sagerasaq:

2. Your Wife is legally yours not her fathers daughter cus she bears ur name. Just discuss with her be rest assured she will tell her father.

Did he tell you he paid her bride price Someone that didnt have money for ordinary wedding invitation.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

I have a question instead of an advice and that is why u agreed to quit your job because of a woman's advice? I'm sure u were high in love. issok

Sarah20A:
go in search of a job and stop asking silly question what do u even do all day

Madam calm down

I have nothing else to say than to call you a mumu.
That's all.
Can you imagine the bullsh1t

Poster I do understand you. I won't judge you. The mistake is made already.

As a commenter rightly pointed, the problem is not only that you don't carter for the family financially but you are not 'bold' enough.

My advise forget about getting the control of your family back now. What you need now is to be smart and find a way to stand up financially. Option 1 is hustle your way out but this is going to be diffcult considering the state of the country. Option 2 which I will mostly do my self is to turn to an overly sweet and loyal husband/inlaw and then 'scam/obtain' the hell out of them. Look for a business and invest in it. Give yourself say like 2 to 3 yrs. And while at it forget about who calls the shots at home. Don't even care about what happens at home and your kids now. They will make good decisions that won't harm anyone. Neglect all those domestic roles, allow them do it. Focus on succeeding financially, you have the means around you just get smarter. It is a better option than leaving your home.

Bro, just get smart, very very.

Why would you collect money from ur father-in-law in the first place Why would you collect money from ur father-in-law in the first place

You’re a gold digging leech! Just look at your life, as a married MAN, you’re allowing your wife’s father of all people to pay your rent and cater for your family’s needs?? And you expect your wife to respect you? Spits! Just look at your mouth like “I jumped at the offer”. Whatever you’re getting serves you right.
A real man with balls would have declined that foolish offer, it’s better you and your wife struggle in a face me I slap you apartment where YOU pay the rent than to live comfortably in a well furnished house your FIL is paying for. I’m very sure your wife is disappointed in you. You aren’t a real man.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who got married some time ago, her wealthy father bought(not rented) a house for her and her husband at Lekki because he felt he was helping them out. The husband said a big, emphatic NO and instead opted to rent an apartment at Ikeja where he could afford because he knew he was a man and he was the one to provide for his family and he wasn’t supposed to rely on his rich daddy in law. That’s a real man right there.
Better get your acts together and do what is right. You don’t have money or job but you decided to get married and start popping children. Are you even serious at all??!

My first response was in the heat of anger so I will give a second response..
Whether you are rich or poor, married for love or out of convenience, women change within 2years after marriage. I know this because I married the love of my life, we have been married for about 6yrs and my salary is very much more than her own.. Women make their own minds.. That is why some men who are unable to endure end up as wife beaters..
Don't be bitter. Concentrate on what you are good at.. Start a business no matter how small, buy your own house somewhere no matter how cheap. You don't have to live in it, just buy the land and build it and let your wife know what u are doing.. If she says she can't live in it, tell her its for rent.. Concentrate on doing things that don't involve her father but I must advise you, don't be his enemy. You may need his connection on whatever business you are doing.. Don't try to separate her from him because unless you use juju it won't work.. Daughters are attached to their fathers the way boys are close to their mothers.. Find things that make you happy. Don't be sad over what u can't control..

i have nothing to tell you until i'm sure you have grow sense............first class material. How did you pull that off ?


i guess you re looking for advice in other to appear ungrateful


Where are your parents self, what is their opinion on this your predicament ?

but you mean you re not taken care of your own parents that saw you through school ?



"women inspires you to be great and distract you from achieving it"

NairaMaster1:
Before Nko?
Gold digging is deadly guy.

stupid man.... Akpamu (scrotum)

winningwinner:
Hmmmm! Most of the replies I get for expressing myself on this platform have left me confused. Thanks to the few people that truly understand my plight to offer advice. The mistake has been made and no one is above mistake. I take all the blame, but I'm sincerely tired of the whole thing. I want to quit. Finding a well paying job now is not very easy. I need divine intervention.

Don't quit my brother.
Quitters never win and winners never quit.
What I will tell u is that u should be planning for means to start any business that may be fetching u money.
Make a business plan and show it to her to see that u are making effort, who knows if she is acting that way because she thinks u are being lazy?
(If she has money in her account, use sweet mouth to borrow from her to start the business and be ready to pay back when u start making it).

Don't be mad at the dad because u may do such if u are him and please don't break Ur home, I understand how u feel, just try to talk to Ur wife and make her understand how u are ready to be better and also let know her actions are hurting u.

You claimed your father in law is rich it means he is also influential in the society , can't you persuade him to get you a job since you want to work, at least with that you can take full charge of your home but not being rude to the man or your wife neither. But at least you can have a say in whatever is going on in your house. Having the man do all your house cores like paying for rent and your children school fees could define you as a lazy dude mhen.

After avoiding hiv and ebola, the next thing you should avoid is big man's help. It comes with a lot. you lose your freedom amd dignity as a man.

OP, I'm sorry but your dignity as a man has already been bought the very moment you allowed your in-laws to pay for your wedding. It was stupid to quit your job for a woman in this recession without any backup plan. 'Love' means nothing in this country if you cannot provide for your family. You made the mistake of marrying someone who's not in your class. Let this be a lesson to men to always cut their cloth according to their size. Marry within your class.

I wonder! Is it not better the rich father in law helps him by getting him a job than giving him money all the time? Nawa oh

kennymartinz:
You claimed your father in law is rich it means he is also influential in the society , can't you persuade him to get you a job since you want to work, at least with that you can take full charge of your home but not being rude to the man or your wife neither. But at least you can have a say in whatever is going on in your house. Having the man do all your house cores like paying for rent and your children school fees could define you as a lazy dude mhen.

Come off it. You never had a home.
What you call home is an extension of your father-in-law's house.

LarryBeryl:
Man up!!!!

The only thing about a man that can get up easily is a deek.

You resigned from your job because of babe.

You got married without any means of income?

Dem tell you say marriage na bed of roses?

Oga loverman na you take ya hand dig ya grave.

The deed has been done. I can imagine what you are going through right now. Yesterday is a lesson and tomorrow is an opportunity, I will only advise you to gather the little money you have and start something, no matter how small and at the same time, you find yourself a job. Be prayerful and think outside the box, everything you are passing through will soon be a history.
Remember: Tough times never last but tough people do!

Get a job. At Least a job of six figures and let your wife do the same(If she wants to, because this is something you should have discussed beire marriage).

Both of you can then calculate how much each of you will contribute in the joint account for running the family's expenses.

Sit your wife down and tell her, the family cannot grow into what it should be if it is being directed by an external force. If she wants the marriage as much as you do, then all decisions should be made and finalized by the both of you and the both of you only.

Her father shouldn't have a major authority unless both of you decide to seek the opinion of an experienced person.

The family is going to live within the means you(and your wife) can provide until you can afford better.

You love, respect and appreciate her father for all he has been doing and will always do you best to give her the best.

But if she married you expecting the same luxury her father used to provide. You are not there yet so, she should build with you.

Have a little pride. It is better you soak garri and salt than be seen as anther dependent instead of a fellow adult married person because of few nairas in your account.

Don't quit your job for her next time. If she loves you, your success will be her priority and leeching of her dad isn't success.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

You fall my hand o. Which kind rubbish be this na... you father in law foot your home bills and you expecting a pat on the head, you dey craze o.

Which stupid love is that, lemme talk sense to your head because he be like say you lack am and its because of rubbish like this they make feminist get mouth.

Look, when you love a woman, its not about allowing things like that happen that makes you the man. I am so upset right now i dont even know where to start giving it to you hot.

Look, just go and stop it. If possible, return that money. If you cant return that money, leave your wife there. Let her enjoy her fathers money but you, move out and look for you own apartment. Even if it is a single room you can afford, stay and start there. Tell your wife she can join you anytime and that you still inlove with her but on your providence not her fathers. If she refuses, dont argue. You can go visit, play or spend time with her but everynight, go back to your own house. If you cant get your previous job back, look for another even if they are paying half the amount. Live within your means till you balance well but for God's sake, dont out of pity or emotions like that say you pleasin your wife and family.

No woman takes any man without his dignity serious. Never, they may only like the fact you please them at your detriment but when its time to be thè man, the truth is you are nothing.

From wedding card to reception
House rent
Clothing
Food
All ds from d fada in.law
U deserve koboko every morning

Hahahahahahahahahahhhahahaha

KillaBeauty:
You’re a gold digging leech! Just look at your life, as a married MAN, you’re allowing your wife’s father of all people to pay your rent and cater for your family’s needs?? And you expect your wife to respect you? Spits! Just look at your mouth like “I jumped at the offer”. Whatever you’re getting serves you right.
A real man with balls would have declined that foolish offer, it’s better you and your wife struggle in a face me I slap you apartment where YOU pay the rent than to live comfortably in a well furnished house your FIL is paying for. I’m very sure your wife is disappointed in you. You aren’t a real man.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who got married some time ago, her wealthy father bought(not rented) a house for her and her husband at Lekki because he felt he was helping them out. The husband said a big, emphatic NO and instead opted to rent an apartment at Ikeja where he could afford because he knew he was a man and he was the one to provide for his family and he wasn’t supposed to rely on his rich daddy in law. That’s a real man right there.
Better get your acts together and do what is right. You don’t have money or job but you decided to get married and start popping children. Are you even serious at all??!

Not trying to diss u o, but it would be better if we are silent and don't hurt or destroy the self esteem of others,
And...Miss, don't be in a hurry to attack others because they did something wrong.

Everyone makes wrong moves, nobody is above mistake.

He can salvage the situation, all he needs is a clear mind and this Ur anger won't help him.

In this world today, poor people become rich and rich people become poor, don't be surprised that this man will become a very wealthy man in 3 years time.

Robertson of Liverpool is a clear example today...He was rejected by some clubs and even twitted that life was hell 6 years ago, but today he is playing in the UCL finals while some good players have not had the opportunities to even play in the semis.