Bro.

Listen to me. Having taken a look at this issue. The truth is you are not financially stable to run your own family affairs and thus your inlaw is the one supporting you.

If you intend to stop this and feel secure running your own family, I will advise you approach your inlaw with maybe a bottle of English gin (if he is not too religious) and explain to him you need a job since you are doing nothing for now.

Trust me he would be glad to assist you get one as I believe with all these millions he should also have connections in millions and getting a job for you will be quite easy

Make a move

winningwinner:
.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

The Question is " Are you a REAL man? " LMAO

You are even lucky. If I hv to feed my jobless daughter and her jobless, broke ass husband year in year out, he will be my gate man, maid, security and driver.

Woman told you to leave your job and you did without finding something else 1st.

NONSENSE. You are enjoying being fed from hand to mouth and you are looking for respect.

Wait, let me help you look for it.

Bye Felicia.

marvelli:
Its too late. You let your babe take care of you, then your father-in-law. Until you can pay back everything they've spent on you and prove that you can take care of your family in the way they're used to, just stop struggling for respect. Your dignity is already in the gutter

No mind d ingredient! Dey find respect, wey him Don sell, for a mess of porridge


@op, U better sit back n continue ur all expense paid trip in life. D way, u even jumped all over ur in-law in d beginning, shows u tot u had hit d jackpot! Ur stomach Don full now, u dey find respect

Just imagine this scenario....... a poor lady marries a senator's son, and the father foots their bills because he is rich, then the husband starts treating his wife with contempt and disdain, regarding her as worthless and not worthy of his respect, all the ladies on this thread who have no grouse with what the OP's wife did would be saying something else; inhumane idiot, he never loved her, misogynistic bastard.....

But, a man resigns from his job at his wife's behest, and because her father is rich, he becomes responsible for their finance, the man becomes a worthless human being, deserving of no regard from his wife, and shouldn't complain about whatever he gets, because in this case she owns him, and he should be her slave.

Now you get it. GENDER EQUALITY.

I know the kind of fume this would have generated from feminists on here if it were the first scenario that played out and is being reported. Fücking useless hypocrites.

OP, I hope next time, you will never choose to be this foolish in the name of love.

vikkimimi:
you permitted all of the disrespect you get from your wife the day you took the dad's advice to marry her when you know you're jobless.

Continue being the good son-in-law to your wife's dad.

Then when you're ready, you man up and go look for a job and stop receiving from him.

Instead of you telling her father to find you job,think is more better
But what kill many marriage now, per time money.....when he give you money,the firstday you collected the money from him,that that day you become fool,becuz you will be happy with the money,you will forget that their is no job,but no matter you keep money,it wil surely finish,becuz no money is coming from somewhere else
Also you mention that yourwife gives you money before married,why don't you invest with the money?
I think you cause this insult to your self....but you are still te head of the ouse,think we'll and adjust yourself.....
This kind thing almost happen to me,but thank God for giving me knowledge,to play my roles...I rejected the offer the day I want to pay her dowry.
Becuz my inlaw tell my parent that they will assist me,and I tell them NO,no matter what will happen,we will face it....I remember that Day I told my family not becuz of today,but becuz of our future....which it has happened, and I have my full right to defend myself,which make me to Become HUSBAND and MAN,despite my AGE under 30

Valentine025:
stupid man.... Akpamu (scrotum)

This is your nature. Why won't you be tormented. You don't even have manners why won't your wife disrespect you

I guess this is how you treat her.

winningwinner:


Thanks a lot, but how much money will I be able to make now that will bring back the usual love my wife had for me? Will I be able to satisfy her in anything again? I actually need to dislodge her father and start marrying her as my wife or else I take a far journey away from home.

Forget about money Now,Money can't be this kind usual Love again for now,all you need is to.1 Be prayerful
2.Stand as if you are still the Husband:you should call her, wake her up during midnight, let her know that is it proper for us to be collecting money from your dad,tell her the first mistake you made is for you to agree that they shld handle all your wedding expences.Get your apartment is not the cuz of this, but handling your wedding expences..is bad(becuz) they can take it away from you anytime,tell her this let her know the fact...if she's angry with it,let her know the true and fact...if she tell her parent,is good and better,atleast they will have it in mind that you are husband to your their daughter,and for you to say this out, you have something in your mind,
Lastly,you need wisdom..

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

...



Sir,I didn't blame you .firstly did you seek advice from your parents before venturing into it? If not go back to them tell them everything ,ask for their advice and prayer..secondly sir ,are you a greedy type to accept offer without thinking twice ? If yes return back to God and pray your out..I perceive that you don't fear God am sorry oo, just seek for him stop depending on your strength as a First class graduate..... Go out and look for job no matter the amount, start doing it a least you be at home 24/7 looking at your wife's eye and your father in-law complain tell him you're tired of sitting down and gradually begin to keep your secret away from him, I will tell you the truth if you listen to what you parent say about it and you followed God truthfuly, your dignity will be restore.

U dont have a home so ur inlaw is right to meddle in the affairs of ur so called home, from a sponsored wedding to a 3 year rent payment, food and raising of ur child. U aint man enough, how dare u resign just because of a woman? In my local dialect, ur are a complete 'afuneren' meaning woman wrapper!

U have to man up, sit ur wife down and talk sense into her skull, remains her the way u guys start.

They should only give u fish to eat rather teach u how to fish......with the millions in her account!! Why not convince them to set up a business for u while u pay back later.

I hate free things. Even if its coming from a good heart, there is a way it makes me feel.
Only my immediate nuclear family can give me something without me feeling that way.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

Oh my God! does this kind of thing still exist, bro how could you go this far with her when you dont have a job yet? Well the did is done divorcing her right now may not be the best option. I think you should sit up now and tell your father inlaw to assist you in getting a job if he has the connection. If you feel he may plan to lay you off when you stop submitting to him and his daughter, forget telling him about job but if you can do business, be wise to take some money from the ones he sents to you guys and set up a business that intrests you. But pls do all you can to be in charge of your home, and that can only happen when you become the bread winner of the family. Is rare to get respect from a woman when she or her family takes care of all the needs in the house. You can only see that on movies.

braimeddy:
I've no advice for u. You caused everything by yourself. If u act like a pauper, u will be treated as such.

thats the correct answer so far, both the father and daughter wanted someone they can control and you made it happen.

now ur in a cage, the only way out is to start afresh, they just want a baby from you after that they will dump you.

vicaro7:
From the moment you decided to quit your job before you secure a new one I began to question your ability to make good decisions.. You did not give any examples of situations where your wife chose her father's decision over yours and what was your position in that instance but since I don't really trust you to make good decisions I will advise that you continue being the toy boy that you are, don't have more than two kids and always obey the rules set by your father in-law so that you don't destroy his daughter's life with your stupidity.. Academic brilliance does not guarantee street wisdom.

This is harsh, and right at the same time

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

Guy, this is the biggest mistake of your life. Why did you do this? A man should love is job more than he loves his wife/gf and I'm saying this as a woman. This is the order of life when it comes to love: God, job, family. You will love your job first before you love your father or mother let alone love interest. Don't let anyone or what you see in movies delude you. The greatest instinct of Man is survival.

Why you go let yourself go live there? .......Love fades after a while even btw siblings

Here is my advice. Look for a job outside Abuja, probably Lagos, move to your work Location, let her miss you for a while but continue to fulfill your obligations by sending her money no matter how small with evidence. Let the parents know you got a job outside Abuja and you will only be visiting at months end or:
Seek for a Master degree outside the country with scholarship do not disclose untill everything is perfected , let her know to be able to fulfill your obligations as a man, you need extra qualifications since the job is not there, at least when you return, you can be a lecturer.
At least you can have a temporary peace .

You better appreciate your father inlaw's help, because you were the one who fumbled in the first place.

You don't expect him to let his daugher suffer. Go get a job, you ungrateful fvcktard

Bro you married a daddy and mummy girl, you just need to sit your wife down and make her understand you married to her and not her parents. Decisions on how you run your home should only be between you both and no third parties. Also try and get a job or start a business, while you encourage your wife also to do same, so that you both can be financially responsible to run your home. Your inlaw's are not your problem, they are acting Base on your weakness to handle your home and they feel you both are young and needs guidance. Don't fight your inlaw's, just take charge of your home with love, and please don't use authority in doing this, so you don't destroy your home.

That your first class is questionable. Please return it to the school.

If anyone has blamed you or insulted you here, don't be angry with their opinion.... You left your job to satisfy Her and show you love her, that is one of the best risk one can take for her partner but in your own case it turn out to be something else.

Call your wife and bring back the memory of love you have shared in the past, let her know how much you love her and how much you will like to make her happy for the rest of your life. Let her know the reasons you and her have to leave your life without external influence..

In other words, try and study the kind of person her father and mother is, try and know who she is closer to among them, and who she takes order from,try and know who she is closer with among her siblings. You can talk to anyone of them that is of more rational opinion but before that, speak to her one on one before going for second plan,.best of luck bro

Wealthycharles:
No need to share blames. My candid advise is for u to devise a means of raising good sum of money from ur inlaw (maybe thru ur wife) and invest.

Disabuse ur mind from job hunting and start thinking investment. Salary is never a cure for poverty, it's only a medicine to manage poverty. Only investment cures poverty for life. Begin to use ur first class brain to think investment.... U may start small.

At this point bro, put pride aside. U can meek some funds from them and buy ursef a brand new Keke maruwa (640k) and hit the road. U can be saving 20k weekly and 80k monthly while still meeting ur domestic need since u won't have to worry about rent for 3years. In 10months, u must have bought it self another brand new Keke and put it up for hire purchase at 1m+ while the old one is still working. U can also choose to be saving it weekly savings in a mutual fund account (Stanbic into is the best) in this way it saving will grow fast with good profit. At ur spare time at night ur can engage in other online biz just like me.
I yell u before u know ur financial status will change even without a so called corporate salary job.


Open up ur horizon. Opportunities are bound.

Ur in-laws love their daughter so much, as a sharp guy u suppose don gather good bar to establish ur self.

Who knows, ur inlaw may be looking out for that investor instincts in u.

@bolded

This is the best thing I've read on this thread so far!

winningwinner:
Hmmmm! Most of the replies I get for expressing myself on this platform have left me confused. Thanks to the few people that truly understand my plight to offer advice. The mistake has been made and no one is above mistake. I take all the blame, but I'm sincerely tired of the whole thing. I want to quit. Finding a well paying job now is not very easy. I need divine intervention.

You can not repay and they dont even need it by the way.

Radical Solution: Take it or leave it, she never gonna respect you EVER until you are making more than enough to be able to shut her father up (no disrespect).

Solution is by adding more problems

Get a job no matter how small

Marry or get a lady of poor background pregnant somewhere while you work hard. Keep taking your first wife's father-in law's money to help the other woman. Do this secretly all through

Far as i am concerned they wanna take advantage of you even though you made mistake. Anyone can make mistake. I am serious about this even though it sounds funny. You have nothing to lose. But if you stick to the rich family only, they will make your child disrespect you. So maybe 2 to 3 yrs down, you are well enough and show up with your second wife. That's a rude shock to your first father in law. He will realize you are man enough and not a simp

You actually messed up big time, but never worry, no need crying over a split milk. You need to gather your ass together and get a job. No matter the amount, just start doing something to earn back your respect from your wife. Qed

Stop collecting money from the both of them

Move to your own rented apartment, if you are based in Lagos, there is a job at my workplace

Call me on 081-758-467-63

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

braimeddy:
I've no advice for u. You caused everything by yourself. If u act like a pauper, u will be treated as such.

Sincerely he should have ask for a job before marriage, he play himself as a gold digger, he has no adviser, he is lazy and so cheap. Well good luck to him. U better look for a job Oga free lunch

EliteBiz:
Ok, You have to be a Real Man!!!!!! You are the head of your family, Alot of things have to change, but do it wisely

he who pays the piper dictates the tune.

Like say your head dey pain you

CeeManCollins:





You see, you complain of disrespect but this guy is ready to still marry your sister in law same way. Who wan suffer? He is probably approaching 40s with no signs of a bad job sef

Its very unfortunate that people from your maternal village are dancing shaku shaku with your brain abi!!
Stay hia and be waiting for advice..

it is either your are a first class material, or a first class manure.

antidisestablis:

My guy the only advice I have for you is that you should go and work and make money so that u can earn your respect back and dignity will follow suit without that nothing is gonna change.
Owo lan fi se oko obinrin ( ask Yoruba people to interpret that for you).In the first place how can you resign in your place of work because of woman and you even went ahead and marry her without a job.
When it comes to marriage love is not enough you need to have money too to run the affairs of your home, when you don't have money there cannot be respect for you. My guy God will bless you go and make money before then things will return to normal.

"When it comes to marriage, love is not enough"
That's right..... love this statement

noblesteve:
Bro.

Listen to me. Having taken a look at this issue. The truth is you are not financially stable to run your own family affairs and thus your inlaw is the one supporting you.

If you intend to stop this and feel secure running your own family, I will advise you approach your inlaw with maybe a bottle of English gin (if he is not too religious) and explain to him you need a job since you are doing nothing for now.

Trust me he would be glad to assist you get one as I believe with all these millions he should also have connections in millions and getting a job for you will be quite easy

Make a move

he suppose to be the one advising you.