FreeConCiencE:


See, the worst disaster that can befall any man is not being able to perform his responsibilities at home and no responsible and right - thinking man will want his duties switched and be performed by his wife. This is because it is a shameful thing and the dignity and respect of such man are under serious threat. But if conditions or circumstances warrant it, it's pertinent for the wife to perform the duties of her husband on his behalf if she is capable without letting the 3rd party to know about it. Even, while doing that she still has to see her husband as the authority and the head...... That is the true definition of women of virtues.

About the husband being the dictator, what I mean is that it is the man that dictates what should happens and what should not happen in the family. He has the final say. Where there is need for the wife to be carried along in the decision making, the man will do. I repeat, the husband is the author, he dictates, and he is the head. That is the teaching of our Bible, the Quran and our rich culture. Being the authority does not mean he should not love his wife and children. If I dictate what happens in my home as the final authority, does that mean I will not love my wife? Of course, No! I dictate what happens in my home and I ove my wife, I pamper her and she doesn't contest the position of authority with me at home even though she is self sufficient. Our one daughter is learning from her very fast.

My advice
Just marry the man that has high sense of reasoning. A man that makes good judgment of things, a reasonable man and submit to him. Where there is need for you to support him, please do and don't say because of the supports (which might be financial) , you want to contest the position of authority with him. No! It won't augur well at the end of the day. Maybe, that is my "mumu button" that my wife is using for me. I wish you good luck.

A woman can handle the bills when her husband is unable to without even the children knowing. That is why they are a team. But when a man maltreats his wife when he was the one with the money, it will take God's grace to make her still remain the same.

The man doesn't actually dictate what happens. A couple should make decisions jointly even if the man's final decision will superceed in the end. Except the man married a puppet that has no mind to reason. They are a team. But a lot of men like to milk this authority.

But if your love is patient,kind, not proud or self seeking as the Bible commanded, you will not have ideas of dictatorship at all.

I know how to make the decision in my home. I don't force it down his throat. I make suggestions and give him reasons. I am glad i married a man that had the kind of background that he had. Rather than relegate me to the background, he values my opinion and thoughts even in his own affairs.

too much book, feminism, oloshoism is the main reason behind it...and the most stupid reason of all when she is in power probably a CEO of a company or she is richer...

msylva2147:
I quite agree with you on this but one thing I want you to know is a lady can stay with her her guy in courtship for years and remained submissive but as soon as she has become a wife, that's when she will start coming up with all this gender equality bulshit. But before the marriage when you tell her this is what you don't want and this is what she will agree with you and try to avoid anything that will make you to change your mind. Most of the ladies are just wicked because they won't show you their real colour so as to know if you can cope with them for the rest of your life or not, after allowing you to spend huge amount of money to marry them they will now start giving you the cause to start looking for another woman to marry.

You have to understand one thing, you cannot buy a human being. So all this bride price things doesn't mean you've bought someone who is going to obey and do your biddings like a zombie. I think bride price should be abolished anyway. Even Buhari's daughter got a bride price of 500K, which is easily replaceable for people like her. That doesn't mean the husband has bought a zombie.
People spend money on weddings all over the world, so its not a new thing. It's just that both husband and wife need to contribute to the wedding. It's not good enough that only the husband contributes to the wedding as done by some families. If a woman and her family cannot afford an expensive wedding, they need to cut their coat according to their size. It's poverty mentality thats worrying the whole family, not just the woman sef.
Concerning women changing after marriage, it happens to both men and women. When you date someone from a distance, its a differnt ball game when you start to live with them 24/7. After a while, you start to get on each other's nerves.
It's just like 2 good friends who start living together will all of a sudden start having trouble between themselves when they start living together. Even brothers with same upbringing can have the same problem.
The golden rule, do unto others what you want them to do to you.

ImaIma1:


A woman can handle the bills when her husband is unable to without even the children knowing. That is why they are a team. But when a man maltreats his wife when he was the one with the money, it will take God's grace to make her still remain the same.

The man doesn't actually dictate what happens. A couple should make decisions jointly even if the man's final decision will superceed in the end. Except the man married a puppet that has no mind to reason. They are a team. But a lot of men like to milk this authority.

But if your love is patient,kind, not proud or self seeking as the Bible commanded, you will not have ideas of dictatorship at all.

I know how to make the decision in my home. I don't force it down his throat. I make suggestions and give him reasons. I am glad i married a man that had the kind of background that he had. Rather than relegate me to the background, he values my opinion and thoughts even in his own affairs.

Maltreating women ... I don't support that and that is not the topic of this discussion


If you allow your husband decisions to supersede at the end and you allow him to have the final say...... Thumbs up for you.

If you believe you can make decisions for your husband because of what you consider as reasons whether you force it down his throat or he sips it himself ........ You are wrong

If you make suggestions for your husband and he makes the final decision himself regardless of whether you think you are right or wrong ....thumbs up.


I repeat, your husband is the authority, he is the head and he dictates as the final decision maker. That is the teaching of the Holy Bible, the Quran and our rich culture.

Pataricatering:
I tire for all this woman wrapper men ! Carry woman issues on yo your head like gala ! Don’t you people get tired ? You need to rid yourselves of this obsession with women ! It won’t change anything !

when they are jobless what do you expect? We don't see women opening threads about men do we? I don't know how someone can sit down and start thinking about women and how to run their lives. I will always say this when your looking for who to marry, make sure you marry someone with your mentality. If you want a submissive wife go and look for an uneducated girl in your village and get married to her you cannot come and marry an independent,working educated woman and be giving her order like her father and expect her to answer you. Smh when they've not finished respecting their parents .

FreeConCiencE:


Maltreating women ... I don't support that and that is not the topic of this discussion


If you allow your husband decisions to supersede at the end and you allow him to have the final say...... Thumbs up for you.

If you believe you can make decisions for your husband because of what you consider as reasons whether you force it down his throat or he sips it himself ........ You are wrong

If you make suggestions for your husband and he makes the final decision himself regardless of whether you think you are right or wrong ....thumbs up.


I repeat, your husband is the authority, he is the head and he dictates as the final decision maker. That is the teaching of the Holy Bible, the Quran and our rich culture.

Most times when i make suggestions, he tells me to do what i think is right, use my discretion. That is why he married me. He never wanted a woman that cannot think for herself and cannot take on decision making in the house especially as i am the one in charge most of the time...even down to what he will eat.

You may dictate in your home but my husband does not dictate. He is not exactly traditional in his thinking and approach to marriage and life generally.

I opened my eyes well before i married. I didn't want a traditional thinking man that will send me back to the 1900s. As long as i respect him, we are good

Ogbeni go & sleep

Xisnin:

Are you married and have your marriage recently failed?

Barzinime:
Ogbeni go & sleep

I guess not, perpetual singles always think they have the "best" marriage advice even though they have no experience whatsoever.

Most of you want to imbibe foreign cultures but dont even understand the rudiments
Just dont disturb us on here, when you have issues
But what do i know? maybe thats the way your own parents did theirs, so i may be wrong

Xisnin:

I guess not, perpetual singles always think they have the "best" marriage advice even though they have no experience whatsoever.

That was how your father and mother did theirs abi?
Even though they showed you the scriptures that institutionalize marriage, the devil still doesn't want you to have understanding, hardening your heart like that of Pharaoh, but we all know how it ended for Pharaoh so you can continue in your wisdom along with your Minions

Ivorianaija:
Your woman is not a dog that you give orders and they must obey. You are in an equal partnership where you both show respect for each other. Respect her and she will respect you. Remember, you are a choice in her life, not a necessity.

Barzinime:
Most of you want to imbibe foreign cultures but dont even understand the rudiments
Just dont disturb us on here, when you have issues
But what do i know? maybe thats the way your own parents did theirs, so i may be wrong

You have no knowledge of what you are discussing, you think hearsay and marriage are the same. You will be fully disappointed like the OP when the time comes. But there is still a remedy, go and ask those who have been married for more than 10 years how they live their lives, you will be surprised that it has nothing to do with the unrealistic perfect picture which you and many boys here paint on nairaland.

Ogbeni....dey your lane...do what you want

Xisnin:

You have no knowledge of what you are discussing, you think hearsay and marriage are the same. You will be fully disappointed like the OP when the time comes. But there is still a remedy, go and ask those who have been married for more than 10 years how they live their lives, you will be surprised that it has nothing to do with the unrealistic perfect picture which you and many boys here paint on nairaland.

Ok..Thought you were saying otherwise

Ivorianaija:


We are saying the same thing, it's just that some Nigerian women aren't willing to take up full equality when that is what it really is about. Equality means complete equality, and it shows the man that you are not dependent on him for survival you can survive on your own. Equality is complete equality!

Ivorianaija:
Your woman is not a dog that you give orders and they must obey. You are in an equal partnership where you both show respect for each other. Respect her and she will respect you. Remember, you are a choice in her life, not a necessity.

Exactly, they wqntbto turn the women to robots whom they will turn around.
Respect yourself as a man and your wife will honour you.
You don't expect women to teach men their duties at home but when you shy away from it or becomes clueless about the home front then you have rubbed your self in the mod.
Respect is reciprocal you can't keep a woman at home, starve her,subject her to domestic turture and expect her to respect you, kole work.

Pataricatering:
as if marriage is a prize ! I’m so happy women don’t carry marriage on their head like they used to !

Lol, for ya mind dear. Go to prayer houses and crusades..

The scriptures is balanced regarding marriage. Husbands are to love their wives and treat them like queens while wives are to submit to their husbands and treat them like kings. Women are to call their husbands Lord and show them respect. If a woman respect her husband, she can easily get whatever she wants from him.

Fact
I agree 100%