Valerie47:
When you marry someone, you become a part and parcel of them, in marriages, its men that move not women, a woman got a job offer in abuja, she declined it cause she is in the East with her hubby.

It is only men that move?

Nne, you need to move out of your circle.

Priscy01:
As received by IgbereTv.

Lady in a serious dilemma needs your advise. Read the full story below;


What advice would you give her?

http://igberetvnews.com/524502/did-my-traditional-marriage-last-week-got-scholarship-to-us-this-week-lady-in-dilemma-cries-out-for-help/

I was going to ask if the scholarship fell from heaven that it wasn't factored earlier till I saw the Ex registered it.

Hmmmmmm.

Can the lady defer the scholarship for a year while she & her husband decide the best course of action.

FYI: the traditional marriage is the most important one.

Liliyann:
I can never settle with a man that doesn't put my happiness above his!!
She should Berra accept the scholarship, if the man refuse, she should dump his ass, there are many fishes in a river!!
Always place your happiness above everything including marriage!!
Ladies should learn not to sacrifice their happiness all in the name of marriage coz it doesn't worth it these days!!

So one week after your wedding, your husband comes home with a job transfer for five years and you will happily let him go?

sharpwriter:


See you... don't underestimate the kind of people in the world today.... She fit abscond and damn bride price o... The main problem here's the abroad syndrome... That's all. Since our leaders are arseholes, abroad is also heaven. Many will do anything to go there. That delusion of utopian life over there is real and very strong. It is a prayer point of many on mountains of prayers. Many of them fit go and not be able to return in twenty years coz they live from hand to mouth. But it's just life thing. Some also go and become fruitful. It's 50/50 but people only look at the seemingly positive side. The problem here's that when some youths hear abroad, London, US, their sense of reasoning is gone. Their dream is now based in beautiful fairy land that you'll live there happily ever after.

Hmmmm...scary

Am i the only that thinks this is probably a fluke. The information given is quite vague, the context of the matter is key to making an apt decision. Come to think of it, as someone wrote earlier, which kind degree dey take five years? Phd perhaps, meanwhile no PHD in the US will offer such meager stipend(400, Na slavery), even with tuition fee exemption. The scholarship was registered by her ex- this is interesting, the registration was likely made withing the last 3,4, 5 months, and she must have been with the guy she just got married to for over 6 months, are you seeing what i am seeing. The relationship between the lady in question and her EX is probably unhealthy, why would you complete such a registration without including the Husband-to-be in retrospect in the conversation. I am sorry to say this, but the handwriting on the board is clear, the lady and her EX are probably in on this(they are not done with fucking each other), or she is just too naive, to realize the deceit that EX dey pull, in which case, she is not ready for marriage. If i were the husband, i will end this relationship as soon as she decides to go. If her EX resides in the US as someone suggested, LOBATAN.Maybe she realized she would rather not spend the rest of her life with her current husband. If the guy is finacially sound, and has some degree of job security, she should stay, if not, she could just end the marriage(apparently, no divorce is required, ma traditional marriage), maybe that's why she is considering this in the first place. Why would you even marry someone who is not finacially sound. Marriage is not for boys and girls. All of this still depends on the status relationship between the lady and her EX. The story might just be a fabricated one anyway."Projective Personality Test" Meanwhile what the hell is wrong with Nigerian youths, after reading some comments here, i now clearly understand why those old men are still leading us.As other My piece. I am out.

Valerie47:
When you marry someone, you become a part and parcel of them, in marriages, its men that move not women, a woman got a job offer in abuja, she declined it cause she is in the East with her hubby.

My sister, stop wasting you saliva upon that deluded human being.
These are the kind of girls who always end up being played by their eventual husbands because of her greed.

Who. even guarantee she will end well after the scholarship?

I just lost a very good friend yesterday and this guy was a brilliant student who just graduated the same time with me.
If you had told him. while he was alive that all his long plans wouldn't come to fruition he would call you a doom sayer.

The thing is ,this life we are living is nothing guaranteed not even tomorrow.

In all, not all that glitters is gold.

What exactly is she studying for 5 years , that is my first question? Secondly $400 US dollars? To live on?
Poland? He would rather go to Poland ? That’s when all credibility flew out of the window.
Too many holes with this post!

Valerie47:
So she should leave her husband cause of the scholarship given to her by a supposedly jealous ex that wants her marriage to end, why didn't he give her the scholarship when she was single, marriage is not something you walk it and walk out when its convenient for you.

I love you Valerie

UyaiIncomparabl:
She had better accept the scholarship. That man will leave her if he were offered the same opportunity. Selfish men who wouldn't place their wives before anything.

I'll take the scholarship and leave immediately, in the end, I'll marry a white man.
White men are sweet, plus you'll get enough dollars.
Nigerian men are over used materials and should be castrated.

this is d main reason why men shouldnt over love any woman flaunting herself for him cos most of them are nt marrying for love.jat for d title or mrs or for d money.during d olden days.where marriage is considered sacred.a woman heeds to d mans voice nd opinion and also tries to make d man reason with her.but if d man insists.den she have to submit.

Valerie47:
When you marry someone, you become a part and parcel of them, in marriages, its men that move not women, a woman got a job offer in abuja, she declined it cause she is in the East with her hubby.

Why can't a man also support a woman especially if her opportunity is better? Men need to learn to swallow their pride and reason with a clean mind

She should choose what is more important to her

Family or a Career because she cannot have both

cococandy:
Women move too.

You move and leave your family for who? especially the kids, women are the home keepers, you guys should be realistic.


I'm very sure you won't leave your marriage or move if you get a scholarship in another country, let's say UK.

Benito8998:

I love you Valerie

Aww, thanks.

MissJoy29:

I couldn't help but exclaim @the bolded.
Just like that? You will return the bride-price? A man you claimed you loved enough to marry, you will just return the bride-price in less than a week after the wedding? Iffa hear! Let's keep lying anonymously sha on the Internet!! It's allowed only here because noone could be that rash in real life.

Besides, are you the one that will return your bride-price? What if your family doesn't't support your decision?

They just come on the internet and say shites they can't do real life, I don't know why these ladies are all excited by the US of a country, telling her to leave her marriage, like if one goes to US all their problems in life will be solved ..


Some ladies can be so shallow..

Liliyann:
I can never settle with a man that doesn't put my happiness above his!!
She should Berra accept the scholarship, if the man refuse, she should dump his ass, there are many fishes in a river!!
Always place your happiness above everything including marriage!!
Ladies should learn not to sacrifice their happiness all in the name of marriage coz it doesn't worth it these days!!

There are many fishes in the ocean and yet you are not married, good riddance...

5thElement:

are you well or how is it doing you?

Who is this one again?

bukatyne:


It is only men that move?

Nne, you need to move out of your circle.

You need to get in touch with reality.

sharpwriter:


See you... don't underestimate the kind of people in the world today.... She fit abscond and damn bride price o... The main problem here's the abroad syndrome... That's all. Since our leaders are arseholes, abroad is also heaven. Many will do anything to go there. That delusion of utopian life over there is real and very strong. It is a prayer point of many on mountains of prayers. Many of them fit go and not be able to return in twenty years coz they live from hand to mouth. But it's just life thing. Some also go and become fruitful. It's 50/50 but people only look at the seemingly positive side. The problem here's that when some youths hear abroad, London, US, their sense of reasoning is gone. Their dream is now based in beautiful fairy land that you'll live there happily ever after.

there is a story my uncle told me about a lady that dumped her husband and two kids 4 an ex who happened to be dubai based and d husband wasnt a broke man oo

sharpwriter:


See you... don't underestimate the kind of people in the world today.... She fit abscond and damn bride price o... The main problem here's the abroad syndrome... That's all. Since our leaders are arseholes, abroad is also heaven. Many will do anything to go there. That delusion of utopian life over there is real and very strong. It is a prayer point of many on mountains of prayers. Many of them fit go and not be able to return in twenty years coz they live from hand to mouth. But it's just life thing. Some also go and become fruitful. It's 50/50 but people only look at the seemingly positive side. The problem here's that when some youths hear abroad, London, US, their sense of reasoning is gone. Their dream is now based in beautiful fairy land that you'll live there happily ever after.

As in eh, our youths are just so crazy, anytime they hear abroad, they just lose their sense of reasoning, I know so many girls that have left their home based boyfriends just to marry guys abroad, and they are now baby making machine in Nigeria, a particular lady left her fiancé when she met one man that base in UK at a wedding, unknown to her, the man is married with kids there, guess what, she slept with him and fell pregnant, now she is in Nigeria cause the man can't marry two times, while the boys are all planning to leave Nigeria, thinking their life will get better out there.

Liliyann:
I can never settle with a man that doesn't put my happiness above his!!
She should Berra accept the scholarship, if the man refuse, she should dump his ass, there are many fishes in a river!!
Always place your happiness above everything including marriage!!
Ladies should learn not to sacrifice their happiness all in the name of marriage coz it doesn't worth it these days!!

Why do u think she would be happier travelling to US than staying with her husband?

bukatyne:


So one week after your wedding, your husband comes home with a job transfer for five years and you will happily let him go?

bukatyne:


So one week after your wedding, your husband comes home with a job transfer for five years and you will happily let him go?

benji93:
Am i the only that thinks this is probably a fluke. The information given is quite vague, the context of the matter is key to making an apt decision. Come to think of it, as someone wrote earlier, which kind degree dey take five years? Phd perhaps, meanwhile no PHD in the US will offer such meager stipend(400, Na slavery), even with tuition fee exemption. The scholarship was registered by her ex- this is interesting, the registration was likely made withing the last 3,4, 5 months, and she must have been with the guy she just got married to for over 6 months, are you seeing what i am seeing. The relationship between the lady in question and her EX is probably unhealthy, why would you complete such a registration without including the Husband-to-be in retrospect in the conversation. I am sorry to say this, but the handwriting on the board is clear, the lady and her EX are probably in on this(they are not done with fucking each other), or she is just too naive, to realize the deceit that EX dey pull, in which case, she is not ready for marriage. If i were the husband, i will end this relationship as soon as she decides to go. If her EX resides in the US as someone suggested, LOBATAN.Maybe she realized she would rather not spend the rest of her life with her current husband. If the guy is finacially sound, and has some degree of job security, she should stay, if not, she could just end the marriage(apparently, no divorce is required, ma traditional marriage), maybe that's why she is considering this in the first place. Why would you even marry someone who is not finacially sound. Marriage is not for boys and girls. All of this still depends on the status relationship between the lady and her EX. The story might just be a fabricated one anyway."Projective Personality Test" Meanwhile what the hell is wrong with Nigerian youths, after reading some comments here, i now clearly understand why those old men are still leading us.As other My piece. I am out.

gbam! wat i earlier suggested.the story might be made up and if its real then no self respecting husband would just allow his wife to travel over a trip that was arranged by the ex ...execpt if the husband is too damm naive.she go abscond and dump d husband and marry the ex in the US.

kizyalex10:
this is d main reason why men shouldnt over love any woman flaunting herself for him cos most of them are nt marrying for love.jat for d title or mrs or for d money.during d olden days.where marriage is considered sacred.a woman heeds to d mans voice nd opinion and also tries to make d man reason with her.but if d man insists.den she have to submit.

that babe na good babe.make una free her biko.she is jus going thru stress.

Your family moves with you if possible. It’s not that hard a concept.

As for your question; If it’s profitable to the family, yes I’ll move. If they can’t move with me immediately, they’ll join me later. But we will work on it. That’s what families do.

My friend moved here by herself when she got admission to study here. Now her family have joined her. Two kids and her husband.

If she had listened to people who discouraged her, her family won’t her the opportunity they have now.

Her kids get to study in America and her husband has started a business now.

Men who don’t let their pride get in the way of the family success often win.

Valerie47:
You move and leave your family for who? especially the kids, women are the home keepers, you guys should be realistic.


I'm very sure you won't leave your marriage or move if you get a scholarship in another country, let's say UK.

She. If they go about it the right way

m6tem:
She should choose what is more important to her

Family or a Career because she cannot have both

ex? when will people get sense. she is an olosho for even aasking this

ImaIma1:


Why can't a man also support a woman especially if her opportunity is better? Men need to learn to swallow their pride and reason with a clean mind

what pride are you talking about? So u mean a man must be so foolish to allow a fellow man play on his intelligence?✋✋✋✋✋

Liliyann:
I can never settle with a man that doesn't put my happiness above his!!
She should Berra accept the scholarship, if the man refuse, she should dump his ass, there are many fishes in a river!!
Always place your happiness above everything including marriage!!
Ladies should learn not to sacrifice their happiness all in the name of marriage coz it doesn't worth it these days!!

'Coz it doesn't worth it these days' sounds so grammatically wrong

Hmmm....scholarship to the US?...by the ex? ...no Visa? Really?.... and why should she stay back when the husband is set to go to Poland? Interesting marriage that will be....the end before the beginning.

benji93:
Am i the only that thinks this is probably a fluke. The information given is quite vague, the context of the matter is key to making an apt decision. Come to think of it, as someone wrote earlier, which kind degree dey take five years? Phd perhaps, meanwhile no PHD in the US will offer such meager stipend(400, Na slavery), even with tuition fee exemption. The scholarship was registered by her ex- this is interesting, the registration was likely made withing the last 3,4, 5 months, and she must have been with the guy she just got married to for over 6 months, are you seeing what i am seeing. The relationship between the lady in question and her EX is probably unhealthy, why would you complete such a registration without including the Husband-to-be in retrospect in the conversation. I am sorry to say this, but the handwriting on the board is clear, the lady and her EX are probably in on this(they are not done with fucking each other), or she is just too naive, to realize the deceit that EX dey pull, in which case, she is not ready for marriage. If i were the husband, i will end this relationship as soon as she decides to go. If her EX resides in the US as someone suggested, LOBATAN.Maybe she realized she would rather not spend the rest of her life with her current husband. If the guy is finacially sound, and has some degree of job security, she should stay, if not, she could just end the marriage(apparently, no divorce is required, ma traditional marriage), maybe that's why she is considering this in the first place. Why would you even marry someone who is not finacially sound. Marriage is not for boys and girls. All of this still depends on the status relationship between the lady and her EX. The story might just be a fabricated one anyway."Projective Personality Test" Meanwhile what the hell is wrong with Nigerian youths, after reading some comments here, i now clearly understand why those old men are still leading us.As other My piece. I am out.

You wrote so well, I was initially deceived.

There are lots of University that would offer $400 monthly stipend. It depends on the type of grant you got. Research assistant or teaching assistant.
A doctoral student is not limited to one stipend, he/she can get from multiple sources, $400 stated is the one bin offered when he/she is starting.
A doctoral student can get as high as $50k from big firms to assist with research work or internship, this also falls under stipend.

Secondly, one can apply for a scholarship 2 years before time.
An international student for instance wanting to go to Harvard, most likely, 2019 is already out of it, entry would have closed for 2019 in 2017.
I applied for a post graduate scholarship at Coventry in mid 2017 but I put in fall of 2019.
Also, do you know how cumbersome it is to get a grant for scholarship abroad, sometimes, it takes years.

My take is this. She and her ex were probably very close, doing stuffs together. I have a friend, if I apply for something, I would apply for her also, and she also for me, I get to find out when I receive a mail.
They probably started the doctoral scholarship hunting together, when she broke up with him, she stayed clear from him, not just him but also things that partake to him. She wasn't checking for stuffs they did together or he did for her, he checked and saw that she got in.

Wouldn't hurt you to think the best of people.

greenek:


You wrote so well, I was initially deceived.

There are lots of University that would offer $400 monthly stipend. It depends on the type of grant you got. Research assistant or teaching assistant.
A doctoral student is not limited to one stipend, he/she can get from multiple sources, $400 stated is the one bin offered when he/she is starting.
A doctoral student can get as high as $50k from big firms to assist with research work or internship, this also falls under stipend.

Secondly, one can apply for a scholarship 2 years before time.
An international student for instance wanting to go to Harvard, most likely, 2019 is already out of it, entry would have closed for 2019 in 2017.
I applied for a post graduate scholarship at Coventry in mid 2017 but I put in fall of 2019.
Also, do you know how cumbersome it is to get a grant for scholarship abroad, sometimes, it takes years.

My take is this. She and her ex were probably very close, doing stuffs together. I have a friend, if I apply for something, I would apply for her also, and she also for me, I get to find out when I receive a mail.
They probably started the doctoral scholarship hunting together, when she broke up with him, she stayed clear from him, not just him but also things that partake to him. She wasn't checking for stuffs they did together or he did for her, he checked and saw that she got in.

Wouldn't hurt you to think the best of people.

Bro,i am very positive,but when it comes to sensitive subjects such as amorous relationships, i don't trust anybody, the strength of relationships does not have an obvious correlation with reasoning(purely logical).I cannot trust my lady with any EX.(Before dem go talk say it was the work of the devil). Take note EX not friend, even Male friend self, i would investigate. Regarding the grant, OP only stated that a $400 grant was offered, if you read my post, i stated that the information given is obviously not clear.
And i disagree with your submission on admission decisions, 2 years is almost unlikely, if it's a research grant then fine, but admission into a regular program, both undergraduate and Graduate school take months(i checked Havard admissions, it takes a few mnoths to get admissions, maybe you should specify the application level you are referring to). Good luck.

Liliyann:
I can never settle with a man that doesn't put my happiness above his!!
She should Berra accept the scholarship, if the man refuse, she should dump his ass, there are many fishes in a river!!
Always place your happiness above everything including marriage!!
Ladies should learn not to sacrifice their happiness all in the name of marriage coz it doesn't worth it these days!!

N I'm very sure no man will ever marry a woman like u that doesn't put his happiness over hers. You re very selfish, n marriage is not 4 those who re selfish, but those who re readily to forego some tinz, evn tinz dey enjoy, 4 d betterment of the family.