₦airaland Forum

wendymanda:
That question is almost redundant. Being submissive to your husband is primitive. If it is based on true love then it would actually be based on equality on not submission. If you have to submit for him to treat you well and love you then whats the sense in that. Its a marriage not a job you should not have to work to impress your significant other. I thought it was being yourself was what matters, guess I was wrong.

You certainly dont understand the term "submissiveness" in the context of marriage. It has nothing to do with inequality, it is about one giving the other the space and opportunity to be a leader.
You had class captains in school, that did not suddenly make you his househelp. you still remained equals even though he had to shoulder the bulk of the responsibilty for your class.

thumbs up stephen.

sheniqua:
@ the poster your man is not an alien.
That you are "American " and he's a JJC doesn't mean you can't adjust to each other.
Most likely your parents are Nigerians and hopefully your mom set a good example for you to follow.

[b]The divorce rate in America is over 50% so marriages amongst Americans are not particularly encouraging.[/b]Forget all those textbook, Dr Phil and Oprah crap of what marriage ought to be.
No one is perfect
Any 2 people in a marriages be they of one culture or not will have to make compromises for it to work.

He may not do the dishes,he may not bake the cookies or share the laundry duties.
Marriage has no set formula.
You both have to be determined to seek out what works for you.
At the end of the day it is your marriage,your happiness or your sorrow not Dr Phil's.

preach it sister.

Cadet:
kai! Look here, I stand by my choice. I can't marry a "new" Nigerian because there's equal Nigerian and American filled in me. Compare to someone still 100% Nigerian. That's a match in @#@$.

Of course I know my Nigerian culture, but I do not agree with all of them. Now that is where the problem comes in, if he's expecting to be who I am not.

The above is bull. Even white americans get married to nigerians and have happy homes.
Na wa o, its unbelievable to see nigerians live a few yrs in america and then suddenly they can no longer relate to people who were once their neighbours.

wendymanda:
I said I hope you didn't hold such beliefs which means I wasn't jumping into conclusion. . . besides that from this post it seems that only the women should adapt while the men continue their almost primitive outlook on things. If the man comes to live in America and expects maintain the behavior of a man in Nigeria then he should just move back. Its a situation of you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also not all Nigeria bred men have the mentality of woman in the kitchen speaking only when spoken to.

What is primitive in being submissive to ur husband? If you treat him well he will do the same to you. A husband who truly loves you will work hard at trying to please you and do those things that you want him to do. All this gungho mentality takes us no where.
I havent met a man yet who wants to marry a househelp so you pple are living with unfounded rumors.

Cadet:
David, am not saying he wnt be the head, but it's not as if everything as to go his own ways. Then he berra be ready for arguments, which am trying to prevent

Even men make mistakes, that is why we marry so we can have a second opinion. It will surprise you that so many women who look very timid outside are actually in control of the home. Its because they've learnt how to manipulate their husbands to do their bidding without necessarily upsetting his ego.
My father is one man who has a huge ego but he will NEVER take a decision without asking his wife first.

Cadet:
How does me saying I won't marry a nigerian that's still fresh wit their mentality racist? this is not even the talk about race. I'm not saying I won't associate with them, although that idea is beginning to change. No, I have nothing against my people. But I'll rather marry one that's accustom to the same idea as moi, so there would be no talk of "trouble" or "divorce" in the future.

hahahha! heavy accent? thanks, but no.  
wrong clothes as into jeans and shirt, yea, can';t get enough of jeans

i'm solidly behind sheniqua (how dem dey call am) on this. This is simply absurd.
A few yrs ago you were on the same plane as those you now say you dont feel acustomed to. Infact many in Nigeria have far better opportunities than some nigerian kids growing up in America. My cousins live in Lagos but they've been to disneyland and travel out of the country at least once a yr. That's a lot more than many here can afford.

What ideas do nigerians living in nigeria have that is inferior to urs? If it is the same mentality as i see in african americans then i'll gladly go back to my village to pick a wife.

Cadet:
Some. Am not into the husband telling his wife what to do. that she must "obey" him because he's the "husband". rara o.  That mentality, I can't stand.

mba. When you get married then see if you can put this to practice. A man is the head of his home . . . it is the way nature has designed it. Even female lions acquiesce to the leader of the pride. It is not because women are slaves, it is simply because you cannot have 2 captains in a boat.
It is this kind of mentality that has so many black women unmarried with a litter of children.

wendymanda:
I hope this is a joke cause it would suck if you really held such beliefs.

you didnt get my point before leaping to a conclusion. Face it, Nigerian men are culturally different from American men.
There are certain things that a man who has spent the most part of his growing yrs in Nigeria would expect from a wife that one brought up in the American culture would not understand.
For instance, how many Nigerian men in Lagos will u expect to tolerate serving their wives breakfast in bed? Many are brought up with the idea that housework is not for men, this will pose a big challenge to a woman brought up in an environment of women's liberation.

That is where adjusting comes in . . .

no big deal really. Since you're the female here you'll end up doing most of the adjusting.
I'm sure ur mom has prepared you for what to expect.

All these players who are either too greedy or too eager to move clubs after one fluke season, where is Diarra now? Anywhere closer to the French team for Euro 2008?

Mccain isnt Clinton.
I lost interest in this race over a month ago when it became a campaign of race, flags, lapels, jeremiah wright rather than the REAL issues that affect America and the world at large.

who are we buying shld be the issue on the table now not those who are leaving us.
Who is coming in? Every other team is making moves already and we are still busy crying over mr. Flamin Jeffers.

We are always being "linked" with every player that goes to another team, when will we buy one?

the main loss will be Hleb and not Flamini.
Flamini can be easily replaced, if we had Diarra we wont even be bothered.

Reverend Wright did Obama a serious damage.
He would have swept Indiana a month ago.

When this is over, we will look ourselves in the eyes and say we blacks were the reason Obama lost.
It hurts to see a so-called reverend who is more interested in his own media image that he would not care to sacrifice his own flock on the altar of cheap fame.

spoilt:
A lot of guys that travel overseas marry white women because they were "there for them when they were down and out". That's what white girls do. They pick up strays and feed them against better judgement a lot of the time ! . Its their makeup. (no pun is intended here ejo.)
There's something about 'loving' someone because of what they can provide. men are usually humble when they have nothing. You are their everything then. When he starts making money will his white girl still have his allegiance? she will be startled to discover not. Dont want another thread by another dissapointed white girl.

sorry but thats false.

thanks Vic

anyone know a yoruba film from OGD or mainframe that will be captivating to watch tonight?

vicade:
Nice speech.
Now, can you please name names?

1. uchkochi?

Cadet:
Try telling a naija man that and they'll rain curses on you

most mature guys can see it coming. There's life after a girl so that shldnt get you so down that you have to rain curses on her.
Wish her well and move on abi.

To God be the Glory.

omega25red:
I smell a big ass rat
why don't you tell your friend to find a naija girl here in the US? abi na bi force to marry for home?
She is not bringing anything to the table for starters. A woman would not talk to a man who doesn't have a job or future prospects why should men deal with women who have no future prospects but an open mouth for food and hand for money. I can certainly understand some people still being caught up in the old ways of having a house wife and a man that provides all, but in this day and age if you want a woman, find someone who will bring something to the table so that you no fit shakara her and she no fit shakara you life would be so much easier for you.

my guy, you get am!

hugs Cadet.

olabowale:
@Davidylan: I hope you will use the same brush to paint everytime.
Apply that to your Bible since you did not have 100% words of Jesus, a Prophet. What you have which can not be trusted are words primarily coming from paul and company. (It sounds like coutts and company of England).

Why is the bible seriously haunting you people? The truth cannot be hidden eh.

yep

Uche2nna:
Can somebody educate me on the meaning of " constituency allowance" ?

Constituency allowance: A bogus term used to refer to a form of financial inducement for lawbreakers in order to lubricate the machinery of executive looting. See also bribery, greasing the palm.

Never having to worry about monthly bills!!! Everything is pay as you go.

olabowale:
@Davidylan: But Paul preached a different message from what your lord, master Jesus preached about God and himself. Thats the point.

I doubt if u've ever read the bible. No christian has ever come to this ridiculous conclusion.

olabowale:
Unfortunately Paul and company put their bits in the Bible, since according to what you said, they were apostles who were send to preach.

unfortunately this is your own opinion.

olabowale:
And we see very clearly that what Jesus might have said, if not exact words, but in ideas could never be different from what all other prophets before him. There is no way that the God that created Adam and then his mate, Eve is 3 personality godhead. (Am always fighting within me to be mild in my words about this). David you have a problem and its a DOUZIE.

Alhaji, why MUST you fight this? Keep your god and i'll keep mine . . . 32 or 67 of them.

olabowale:
I am sure that Barnabas know more about Jesus than you ever could. I will take his opinion over yours any day, if I did not already know everything needed to know from AlQ.u.r'an.

The problem is you dont have any words of barnabas to read from. What you have is a 14th century forgery.

olabowale:
What is wrong with you is exactly what is wrong with the Jews: You never take the step essential to accept the prophet of your time.

and threatening to kill us is the right way to make us accept this fraud called a prophet?
WHY MUST WE ACCEPT HIM?

I give up arguing with these blind bats.

Knowing everyone on your street.
The nightly N20 suya
watching NTA 2 Channel 5 childrens belt at 4pm usually prefaced by the famous rainbow colored lines on the screen.

too many mushy "proposals" here. Spice it up with some punch fellas. Most of those punchlines as so over-used the girl is bound to guess your intentions even before you start putting ur hershey's kisses on the floor.
The key is to keep her guessing till the last minute and something she'll remember for a long time.

Henry, Hleb and now Lehmann

Frizy:
You see, all the evidences in the creation of night and day, and the flawless words in that Ko'ran shows it is Gods'.

Mus'lims seem to be detached from reality. Does the qu'ranic sun still set in a muddy spring?

Frizy:
To disbelieve in it there is an awful penalty!

To disbelieve in it is to extricate yourself from the powerful grip of the devil.

Frizy:
Majority of you think Alla'h's threat is untrue. But have you not heard of the disgraceful torments the people who disbelieve face on earth, even before the Judgement. Hurricanes are examples. They worshipped Jesus or idols, now tell me: "Why didn't Jesus save them?"

oh pls, when are you people going to regale us with all'ah's promises, love, mercy, grace? Everything is all about his threats!!

MyTempID:
Solve these:
Uptown is 20 miles frm Ekene's home in Ajegunle. He Drives 60 mph going to a meeting (he is almost late) but coming home the weather is bad and drives 30 mph. What is his average speed for the time he is on the road?

Total time to get Uptown (doing 20 miles at 60 mph) - 1/3 hrs
Total time to get back downtown (doing 20 miles at 30 mph) - 2/3 hrs

Total distance covered - 40 miles
Total time taken - 1/3 hrs + 2/3 hrs = 1 hr

therefore, average speed - 40 mph

waterworks:
my dear let me break to you. there is not honest way you can resolve this. you can't leave the naija girl seh might never find enybody else. lets face the older the harder it isto get a husband. asfor the whitie she will kill u. she will never trust another african man ever again.

Unbelievable! So the reason to marry a Nigerian girl now is because she wont find someone else? My dear, this is about a man's future not about whether a girl will marry or not.
The white girl wont kill him but i'd marry the white girl if i were him for the following STRONG reasons:
- this girl was there when he was absolutely NOTHING.
- Do you know what it means to get a car ON YOUR OWN credit history for someone else?
- She stuck with him through thick and thin, now that its time for her to reap what she sowed you want him to leave her for a girl who's just interested in a good life for herself and her family? Where was this Nigerian girl when he was drinking garri.

waterworks:
my suggestion:
MARRY THE NAIJA GURL she has been waiting too long. your families have already met each other. you have already promised marriage. you owe here more than just money.

he owes her nothing but an apology.

waterworks:
but how do u discharge the white girl? tell here you have been forced into marriage by your culture and family. and that your parents have threatened to disown u. that way you spare her feelings. she will be hurt but not as much as yiou saying u had a fiancee since.

how does he discharge the nigerian girl? Tell her you've found someone who loves you and truly cares for you in a way she's never done before.

waterworks:
i know my advice is dishonest but lets face it nobody here is righteous,

at least you know.