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How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? (27903 Views)

What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? / Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? / Married Men, Please What Exactly Are You Enjoying In Your Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Youngpo413: 10:27pm On Feb 10
apelike1:
It always start with money!
Useless naija women. angry

1 Like

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by uuzba(m): 10:27pm On Feb 10
BiafraBushBoy:
I think one of the ways of getting over a failed marriage is to heap the blames on the head of your partner.

Morally, it isn't right; but that is the only way to get over the feeling of divorce.

I am gonna get married very soon, and NOTHING will ever lead me to divorce.

I rather play the fool in my marriage than watch it crash.

What happens to my kids?

Personal opinion tho.
Follow positive thread. Not this rubbish kind of thread.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by GREATESTPIANIST: 10:27pm On Feb 10
hotspec:
Wife's parent are d one controlling her. after several attempts to severe her relationship with them was unsuccessful. divorce was successful. shez back with her parents now, and she's d one doing d cooking and washing for them.
You should have gone to God and also visit marriage counselors
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by GREATESTPIANIST: 10:28pm On Feb 10
uuzba:

Follow positive thread. Not this rubbish kind of thread.
lol
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by canalily(m): 10:28pm On Feb 10
those who commented earlier are at the age of 15-18yrs. they dont know the importance of the thread.

61 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by IAmSkinny: 10:28pm On Feb 10
ogmfjec:
Ok
Your ban go long pass third mainland bridge

1 Like

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by hotspec(m): 10:32pm On Feb 10
GREATESTPIANIST:
You should have gone to God and also visit marriage counselors
I did both. any little thing, she tear my other and target my neck to strangle me. had to let go bf it's tooate

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 10:33pm On Feb 10
uuzba:

Follow positive thread. Not this rubbish kind of thread.
This is not a rubbish thread. It's for us to learn. We Nigerians like acting like good things are all that is destined for us. We act like bad things don't happen. Bad experience are part of life, we learn from them not run away and treat the discussion of them like a taboo. Don't live your life always wanting to hear positive things. Tragedies are part of life.

97 Likes 8 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by holluwai(m): 10:33pm On Feb 10
One word:

Nightmare
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by BiafraBushBoy(m): 10:34pm On Feb 10
uuzba:

Follow positive thread. Not this rubbish kind of thread.

I think you mentioned the wrong person.

Don't bother confirming.

Good night.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by frenchman(m): 10:35pm On Feb 10
Was married for 15 years, ended badly due to irreconcilable differences. Ant regrets? Yes, I should have walked earlier

52 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by GREATESTPIANIST: 10:35pm On Feb 10
hotspec:
I did both. any little thing, she tear my other and target my neck to strangle me. had to let go bf it's tooate
I understand, atimes it's beyond redemption, but I believe there is no marriage God can't restore, please keep praying for your marriage if you truly love her...God bless you sir

2 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 10:36pm On Feb 10
canalily:
those who commented earlier are at the age of 15-18yrs. they dont know the importance of the thread.
Don't mind them. They won't use this opportunity to learn but if they later have a failed marriage, they will say it's their village people. One even called this thread a negative thread. Lol, people always want to hear what they want to hear. grin

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by lonelydora: 10:37pm On Feb 10
Martinez39:
Men and women on nairaland who have had a failed marriage or, as the case might be, failed marriages, tell us what went wrong. How did it end? Was it your fault or your spouse's fault? Do you have any regrets? What were the red flags you saw in your spouse? What would you have done differently? Get in here and tell us.

Finally, from your experience, drop your advice for those that are thinking of getting married.

NB: this is a serious thread, no derailing. We are here to learn as others here are about to marry or enter a relationship. We are not here to judge anyone and there is no need to feel ashamed. It's better to have many failed marriages than to remain with a bad spouse forever. Besides, failed marriages can happen to anyone as you are not a mind reader and you are not in charge of your spouse actions. wink

The main cause of divorce in most marriages is often not said by both parties. It's too heavy to say. Forgot all the blames thrown at each other

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by NovaNigeria: 10:39pm On Feb 10
I was always a means to an end for she and her social climbing family unknown to me. Once she felt like she'd got all she wanted from me, she moved back in with her family to enjoy the life my sweat built for them.

I don't feel any way about it because I've moved on with someone who values me for who I am and not what I can offer. The divorce is currently working it's way through the court.

Everyone will be alright last last.

47 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by CuddleBunnys(f): 10:41pm On Feb 10
I am not married but,,
Advice for Those Not Yet Married
If you have not yet married or even chosen a partner, you have, by far, the most power to affect your eventual likelihood of divorce. Those who are already married can only change how they think and act in their existing marriage. Singles who have not yet chosen a partner have a lot more that is still on the table for change. In other words, your stage of life shapes what is dynamic and static in terms of factors associated with your risk for divorce. The earlier you are in the process of finding a mate, the more your choices going forward can affect your future. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you proceed.
1. Take it slow. Get to know a person very well before deciding to marry. We all know people who fell in love at first sight and married within months, and who have done well over many years in marriage. But there are many other couples who married fast and blew apart. By taking more time, you can see how a potential partner treats others, responds to stress, and handles disagreements with you on things that matter. Also, if your relationship is moving toward marriage, take some time to clarify expectations about marriage, family, and life.
2. Pay attention to major red flags. If you see evidence of controlling or abusive behavior, or serious substance use problems, don’t move blindly ahead hoping things will work out. Love does not conquer all. If you have trusted friends or family, listen to them about concerns they see in the person you are dating. Don’t marry a makeover project—or, at the least, don’t do so until there is great evidence of real, lasting change when there are concerns. And don’t move in together to test such a relationship. That’s the worst reason you can have to move in together.xiv
3. Look for someone who shares your beliefs and values. What are your central values in life? Are they shared? Avoid situations where you might fall for someone prior to determining these things. Once you sense some chemistry, it’s hard to hold onto what had been non-negotiable for what you wanted in a mate. This is where people can use online dating sites effectively: You can be clear about the big things you are looking for in life before you meet someone and it gets all complicated with chemistry. Chemistry is great. You want to have that. But chemistry is best developed in a sequence, not as a blinding, binding glue in a relationship you’d otherwise never have chosen.
Love does not conquer all.
4. Look for mutual dedication. There should be sustained evidence that you and a prospective mate are equally devoted to the relationship; for example, that you are both willing to make sacrifices for each other. If you consistently think you are more dedicated to the relationship than your partner, consider moving on. That’s a bad sign for future marital quality. It’s fine to be looking for love, but it’s smarter to be looking for sacrifice.
5. Don’t let constraints for staying together increase before you establish mutual commitment to be together. Many people slide into situations that make it harder to end a relationship before they have made a clear decision about what is best. this is what many people do not see about the risk of living together prior to marriage (or at least before engagement). For too many couples, living together makes it harder to break up before it’s clear that they really have a future together.
6. Do premarital training : While marital experts debate everything, there is solid evidence that completing premarital training (education, counseling, whatever it’s called) together can improve your odds in marriage

39 Likes 13 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by canalily(m): 10:42pm On Feb 10
Martinez39:
Don't mind them. They won't use this opportunity to learn but if they later have a failed marriage, they will say it's their village people. One even called this thread a negative thread. Lol, people always want to hear what they want to hear. grin
at times we fail to know that to die is nothing, but it is terrible not to live.

4 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by 2extremes(m): 10:44pm On Feb 10
hotspec:
Wife's parent are d one controlling her. after several attempts to severe her relationship with them was unsuccessful. divorce was successful. shez back with her parents now, and she's d one doing d cooking and washing for them.
Same issue am experiencing. Though not married yet. My girlfriend is a good girl but her mum domineering influence on her is too much. Her mum just wants to control everything about her and the relationship. This is the only issue we argue about in our relationship cos my babe doesn't see anything wrong with her mum's action. Just wish she can stop this omo mummy thing and take responsibility for herself. I love her so much.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by legba1(m): 10:44pm On Feb 10
Marriage is indeed not a bed of roses.....deceit...lies..... undue interference......serious disappointment...regrets....had i known......meeen its painful....y,all pls be guided....

8 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by canalily(m): 10:45pm On Feb 10
Martinez39:
This is not a rubbish thread. It's for us to learn. We Nigerians like acting like good things are all that is destined for us. We act like bad things don't happen. Bad experience are part of life, we learn from them not run away and treat the discussion of them like a taboo. Don't live your life always wanting to hear positive things. Tragedies are part of life.
dont waste your energy, just direct them to mr JOB.

1 Like

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Elder0001(m): 10:46pm On Feb 10
BiafraBushBoy:
I think one of the ways of getting over a failed marriage is to heap the blames on the head of your partner.

Morally, it isn't right; but that is the only way to get over the feeling of divorce.

I am gonna get married very soon, and NOTHING will ever lead me to divorce.

I rather play the fool in my marriage than watch it crash.

What happens to my kids?

Personal opinion tho.


Wait till you get married

30 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by incogni2o: 10:47pm On Feb 10
For those saying this is a rubish thread, I don't beleive so.

In as much as I try to be a positively minded person.

The topic added Any Regrets.

Perhaps, it could be a means of closure or beginning reconciliation for some who read the story of others.

I just read a couple reconciled after like 25 years apart. Love is Tough at times but "tough times dont last Tough people do" is what one should bear in mind Thats the fact and at those times, many of us fail.

Its so sad for a marraige to end especially when you remember the good promises and times you made and had in times past.

There are definitely always regrets when one divorces.

For those who are divorced. I hope you remember the good times past and find the toughness to do what it takes to reconcile. No ones is saint. It takes two broken souls.

Marraige is a bitter sweet Symphony.

I am married and i must tell you in all the issues I've had with my sweetly spouse,

I always had one or two regrets of how i handled the issue. And i guess it is for everyone.

Peacee

18 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by finebois(m): 10:48pm On Feb 10
Enoch07:
Just here to
i need one chair
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by husbandsnatcha(f): 10:50pm On Feb 10
my marriage ended in peace
no regrets
my husband: shud we end d marriage

me: yes swthrt


.my husband: ok

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by fetthu(m): 10:53pm On Feb 10
My advice is for MEN and this is based on my little experience.

Never marry a woman that does not or would not respect you. (including a woman with bad attitude and low morals). If you do YOU WILL REGRET IT....don't ever think you can manage it ( remember its forever).
The saying that "the 3 most important things men want in marriage is:
Respect, Good food & Good sex" is true, so scan well well to be certain you have the right partner.

Most women nag...but my brother nagging get levels....do everything humanly possible to avoid a woman with high potential of nagging....if you don't...YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF....As a man, if you are not patient (SURU) pls dont marry yet, until you find a way to develop yourself in that regard....its takes a patient man to be a good husband.....you will see many things, but you can't react to everything, else YOU CAN RUN MAD.....

It takes God and high level of luck to marry the right partner (man or woman)....you cannot use smartness alone or discerning spirit or anything....Marriage is like going to the market to buy a parcel wrapped in a black nylon, until get home that's when the nature of what you bought would begin to unravel its content in a slow release manner (good or bad).

It is my believe that for a woman to enjoy/own/control her marriage and her husband she needs to be submissive to her husband....(to people who may not agree) like i said...IT IS MY BELIEVE, it may not be your believe, don't crucify me for my believe.
To those planning to get married, i wish you GOOD LUCK in selecting the right parcel. -this advice is for men. Thank you.

87 Likes 15 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Enoch07(m): 10:56pm On Feb 10
finebois:
i need one chair
oya tiwa Savage remove one give am
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Success410: 10:58pm On Feb 10
highcollide:
She was constantly chatting on the Internet. Kept her phone with her all the time, was going to the bathroom to answer her calls. It all ended the day I saw her send her snapping herself Unclad. I struggled with her and took her phone and saw that she's been bleeping around.... I had to walk out of the marriage.....


















Just kidding grin grin


I'm never getting married.
so shall it be

2 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Success410: 11:02pm On Feb 10
fetthu:
My advice is for MEN and this is based on my little experience.

Never marry a woman that does not or would not respect you. (including a woman with bad attitude and low morals). If you do YOU WILL REGRET IT....don't ever think you can manage it ( remember its forever).
The saying that "the 3 most important things men want in marriage is:
Respect, Good food & Good sex" is true, so scan well well to be certain you have the right partner.

Most women nag...but my brother nagging get levels....do everything humanly possible to avoid a woman with high potential of nagging....if you don't...YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF....As a man, if you are not patient (SURU) pls dont marry yet, until you find a way to develop yourself in that regard....its takes a patient man to be a good husband.....you will see many things, but you can't react to everything, else YOU CAN RUN MAD.....

It takes God and high level of luck to marry the right partner (man or woman)....you cannot use smartness alone or discerning spirit or anything....Marriage is like going to the market to buy a parcel wrapped in a black nylon, until get home that's when the nature of what you bought would begin to unravel its content in a slow release manner (good or bad).

It is my believe that for a woman to enjoy/own/control her marriage and her husband she needs to be submissive to her husband....(to people who may not agree) like i said...IT IS MY BELIEVE, it may not be your believe, don't crucify me for my believe.
To those planning to get married, i wish you GOOD LUCK in selecting the right parcel. -this advice is for men. Thank you.
God bless u

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by OJODEL10(m): 11:07pm On Feb 10
just my mood nw
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by sonature1: 11:09pm On Feb 10
Funny!

Nairaland is a platform where children play around, hence the high level of tribalism

Don't expect serious divorcees to share their experiences and be insulted by kids

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Earthbound(m): 11:12pm On Feb 10
I was expecting comments like "I got my secretary pregnant" or "I cheated on my wife(husband) with her(his) best friend... etc.

2 Likes 1 Share

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