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How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by MumD(f): 6:24am On Feb 12
MacMkboy:
I Keep Wondering What Will Make A Couple Resort To Fighting. I Don't Think There Is Any Thing In Life Serious Enough To Make Me Wanna Fight With Anyone Let Alone A Woman.

This is my man's hobby. Even me dey tire of he start. too much negative spirit. mtchew

2 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 9:45am On Feb 12
Ishilove:

I always prefer to hear from both sides before passing judgement. What I'm seeing here is teaching me lessons on the human psyche
Lol. People will always paint themselves as victims or as being in the right. It's something I discovered long ago.

NB : it doesn't mean those who shared their story here are lying.

1 Like

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Elder0001(m): 10:19am On Feb 12
flyca:

Stop rubbing it on her face. Your life is not perfect either. Bye


Mind your business.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by flyca: 10:21am On Feb 12
Elder0001:
Mind your business.
You were minding yours when you called her out, abi? undecided

3 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by clumsydyna: 10:27am On Feb 12
Quarterbac:


Lol. I hope it happens soon tbh, and not later.

Reminds me of the guy who broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years because she never got angry.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Elder0001(m): 10:39am On Feb 12
flyca:

You were minding yours when you called her out, abi? undecided

Flyca free me na ... do we have problem ??

I didn’t mention you , I mentioned an old friend who has gone astray.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by flyca: 10:49am On Feb 12
Elder0001:


Flyca free me na ... do we have problem ??

I didn’t mention you , I mentioned an old friend who has gone astray.
She is an adult. She is entitled to independent decisions. Free her. As I already said, your life is not perfect either

6 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by GREATESTPIANIST: 11:08am On Feb 12
fastseo:

You have an almost unrealistic expectations, something like building a castle in the air even Abraham in the Bible had a turbulent marriage, he had the money and yet no child, temptation and trouble sets in he took another wife called Hagar. still yet God speaks to him one on one.


No human is 100% perfect, even you check your self very well, do you possess all those stuff you just wrote there?


This your theory have lead to the collapse of many homes where the lady thinks that in marriage there is no suffering, no pains, no sorrow, they all prepare their mind for heaven on earth, forgetting that this is earth filled with uncertainty and immediately their expectations are not forthcoming problems sets in and they keep asking themselves if they married the right man rather than being patient.

As long as you are hopping for the best you must prepare for the worst scenario which is what we call plan B and that is why we must lean from all this point they outlined here.

#YouAreWhatYouThink# I love this phrase but a pastor that always use this phrase while on podium his marriage crashed, this is a man of God that hears from God. Are you saying he is not thinking for a better marriage or his thought is not to get a working and happy home?



Unless you are planning to marry an angel from heaven.
I envision a blissful marriage Sir, I said envision, implying that even when there are storms , i still keep envisioning a good marriage, it's mindset, who is perfect you just ranting and ranting like am some angel, I have gone through storms sir, but I keep thinking victory no matter what, I never said everything will be smooth, we ain't perfect beings............don't misquote me Biko, carry your theories elsewhere, it will work well for me I repeat, whether you like it or not Sir....... Of course we ain't perfect, I am not perfect and I do not intend to marry an angel, it's a simple mindset ooooooo , leave me and mindset alone oooooooo!!!!!!!! this my mindset, thanks .... and why referring to a man of God whose marriage crashed, what's your business with that, is it your marriage? If it crashed why making fuss about it? Forget him and run your own race, and look unto Jesus the author of our faith......You guys would always refers to pastors just to rubbish them cus they made some mistakes, please it's mindset, run ur race......good morning

7 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by GREATESTPIANIST: 11:21am On Feb 12
re-check ----- it's been modified
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by lastmessenger: 11:31am On Feb 12
Quarterbac:
This is why i keep telling everyone around me I'm not sure i'm ever getting married. I'm a very quiet and calm person, even when I get offended I hardly react, I'm afraid a girl is gon' find out and take advantage of this.
so your destiny is to be a loner?
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by uncleck: 11:34am On Feb 12
Ishilove:
Isn't rather odd that majority, if not all the posters are the 'victims'? The other party was the cause of the break up.

Says quite a lot.
mind you, it's only in the Bible that you find characters writing their own shortfalls. In this thread, most people at fault have not opened up and you should hardly expect them to do so.

Moreover, the initial set of people that commented made this thread uninviting. It shouldn't have been on front-page until it had gotten reasonable contribution.

so don't start thinking that these ones are painting themselves innocent

2 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by lastmessenger: 11:48am On Feb 12
realtalk19:


what went wrong:
He became aggressive and violent after I got pregnant and wasn't responsible to the kids welfare.

he refused getting a job and I ended up being the bread winner of the family on debts.

he was proud, nassicist and impatient.

he curses at every opportunity

he relayed solely on his mum's advice always and keeps secrets.


how did it end:

After he locked I and the kids out. my family stepped in to save me and the kids.

our rent was due and despite working he still expected me to pay the rent which I refused cos I was fed up, exhausted and frustrated.


whose fault?

it was entirely his fault because even when I endured the responsibility and violence ,it got worse, and he felt he owns me and can do anytin he like without being questioned. he had a dyfunctional upbringing which made him belive torturing a woman Wil make her worship him.


any regrets?

my regrets were setbacks, trauma and ending up with the wrong partner.

red flags on spouse?

lying, violent,anger,malice, impatient in the sense that he wanted fast money he didn't need to work hard for whereby making him addicted to football betting and online hook up.

what I would have done differently?

taken my time to study him and avoid sentimental discision.

never dated a short guy. lol . anger issues and inferiority complex where by he make me feel less of myself and made me loose my self esteem by talking down and condemning every good thing I ever did

be more patient : cos of my age then (27years) I felt the clock was ticking and I wuldnt want to get married late.


moved on: when I got pregnant I had an opportunity to move on after the violent actions but I didn't because I felt I had no chance if I end up as a single mum.


I am very relaxed and more peaceful now. it's been 2 years of success, progress and hope with my kids alone and am so happy I made that discision to leave for good alive.

Despite the traumatic experience, am still hopeful and believe in a happy and successful marriage especially with the right spouse .
Bible said you can't marry again. So you are doomed to be a loner.

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Katier00(f): 11:54am On Feb 12
oyetpel:


That's why i am a conspiracy theorist.

People will always favour themselves. They are perfect but there partner was this and that. Like the long one we just read above, see as she labeled her partner as a devil, while she didn't do anything wrong.
I had a failed marriage and I was not just a victim, the marriage brought out another side of me. I felt trapped in a loveless marriage. There was violence and abuse but it will be very unfair to say I was saint though my actions were due to frustration. I know I am not a bad person but I have my limits too. Even though we're not in speaking terms, I don't have any thing against him

8 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by zeb04(f): 12:37pm On Feb 12
Martinez39:
Lol. People will always paint themselves as victims or as being in the right. It's something I discovered long ago.

NB : it doesn't mean those who shared their story here are lying.
I don’t understand why you think they are making themselves the victims.

why did you create the thread in the first place if you will not believe them.

6 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Quarterbac: 12:46pm On Feb 12
lastmessenger:
so your destiny is to be a loner?



Maybe it's not such a bad thing. And do you have to be married not to be a loner?

6 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Quarterbac: 12:47pm On Feb 12
clumsydyna:


Reminds me of the guy who broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years because she never got angry.


Lol, seriously? I would understand if it was a guy, but a girl that doesn't get angry every once in a while? I don't know, I probably would run too
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 1:04pm On Feb 12
zeb04:
I don’t understand why you think they are making themselves the victims.

why did you create the thread in the first place if you will not believe them.
I didn't say that they are wrong. I simply told Ishilove that normally, human beings will always want to be right but that doesn't mean that their accounts are always wrong.

1 Like

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Ishilove: 1:19pm On Feb 12
Martinez39:
I didn't say that they are wrong. I simply told Ishilove that normally, human beings will always want to be right but that doesn't mean that their accounts are always wrong.
Don't mind them. English is hard for so many Nairalanders.

A close scrutiny of my post will reveal that I did not target any particular post or poster. Rather, it is a commentary on the human psyche.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Winter4: 1:21pm On Feb 12
Ishilove:
Isn't rather odd that majority, if not all the posters are the 'victims'? The other party was the cause of the break up.

Says quite a lot.

Look at it from this angle: The guilty parties are not talking. The hurt ones are those pouring their minds out. If I was guilty, I wouldn't say a word here also....abi how would I justify cheating on my husband? Or beating my wife to a pulp...

12 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 1:39pm On Feb 12
Winter4:


Look at it from this angle: The guilty parties are not talking. The hurt ones are those pouring their minds out. If I was guilty, I wouldn't say a word here also....abi how would I justify cheating on my husband? Or beating my wife to a pulp...
That's the angle from which I am seeing it.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Ishilove: 1:40pm On Feb 12
Katier00:
I had a failed marriage and I was not just a victim, the marriage brought out another side of me. I felt trapped in a loveless marriage. There was violence and abuse but it will be very unfair to say I was saint though my actions were due to frustration. I know I am not a bad person but I have my limits too. Even though we're not in speaking terms, I don't have any thing against him
Thank you for your honesty. This thread is about lessons learned from failed marriages, which should include wisdom gotten from introspection and an acknowledgement of one's flaws. I commented because it seemed no one was willing to admit that perhaps they too had hand in the failure of their marriage.

3 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Katier00(f): 1:52pm On Feb 12
Ishilove:

Thank you for your honesty. This thread is about lessons learned from failed marriages, which should include wisdom gotten from introspection and an acknowledgement of one's flaws. I commented because it seemed no one was willing to admit that perhaps they too had hand in the failure of their marriage.
I noticed that too but most people sharing their stories here,are still hurting, so they are trying to console themselves by believing they were the only victims.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by tizan: 1:57pm On Feb 12
The topic is quite clear so I don't understand why single people are commenting off-topic and even making judgements, and in the process, ending up discouraging those who have actual responses and almost derailing the topic.

Single people would do well to take advantages of the potential knowledge they can gain from threads like this, and listen/read and learn more than anything else.

Even though I'm married, I came here to learn from experiences of others because I have my own marital issues too, but I think some of the puerile, somewhat ignorant and seemingly judgemental comments may have persuaded those the topic apply to against sharing their experiences.

4 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Ishilove: 1:58pm On Feb 12
Katier00:
I noticed that too but most people sharing their stories here,are still hurting, so they are trying to console themselves by believing they were the only victims.
I didn't think of it from this perspective. Thanks.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by lastmessenger: 2:08pm On Feb 12
Quarterbac:




Maybe it's not such a bad thing. And do you have to be married not to be a loner?
loner in old age is a must if you are not married
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Elder0001(m): 2:46pm On Feb 12
flyca:

She is an adult. She is entitled to independent decisions. Free here. As I already said, your life is not perfect either


angry
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by cococandy(f): 3:33pm On Feb 12
Let the Bible try and stop her when she finds someone else
lastmessenger:
Bible said you can't marry again. So you are doomed to be a loner.

5 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 3:39pm On Feb 12
cococandy:
Let the Bible try and stop her when she finds someone else
Are you minding him? I knew about a deeper life woman who couldn't live her marriage because the bible said she shouldn't divorce. Some people ehn.
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by realtalk19(f): 4:16pm On Feb 12
lastmessenger:
Bible said you can't marry again. So you are doomed to be a loner.

lol, it's obvious u ar a nassicist and a loner that's why u can't accept success or defeat. funny enough u ar not God . I wil get married and even send u an invite. just stay alive for it.

19 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by realtalk19(f): 4:16pm On Feb 12
Johnny1013:
you are really a strong woman.I advise people to walk out of abusive relationship.Madam well done..Keep hoping for the best ,the Lord is thy strength

thank u sir
Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by Martinez39: 4:16pm On Feb 12
realtalk19:


lol, it's obvious u ar a nassicist and a loner that's why u can't accept success or defeat. funny enough u ar not God . I wil get married and even send u an invite. just stay alive for it.
That's the spirit. You go girl! cheesy

2 Likes

Re: How Did Your Marriage End? Any Regrets? by realtalk19(f): 4:20pm On Feb 12
MacMkboy:


Lol. I Guess Its A Personal Problem And Shouldn't Be Counted As Being Particular To Short Guys.

I didn't generalize but based on observations with most short people I have come across are aggressive and stubborn

1 Like

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