truthisgood:


My brother, If you have legally married her you need a very serious prayer & the mercy of God to succeed in this marriage in that case let her father know as her mother have known.Then let your pastor/or the spiritual leader of your church know so that she can be called for Deliverance & counseling,then is important you identify some of her friends & caution her about those that are not good friends since according to you in the beginning it was not so,1 cor.15:33 says evil communication spoils good manner.

Then in the other hand if you have not married her even though you got a child with her you need to thank God for showing her true colour earlier before you get yourself committed to her for ever because once you marry if you are a true child of God there is no room for divorce so in that case you better run for your life I don't want to start quoting scriptures here,why I am saying so is because from what you said I can say that her character now is a way to get you out of her way since she can't tell you openly and her mother is aware of every of her plans because her current dressing is not to please you rather someone eslse,and in a case like this where the mother that supposed to talk sense in to her daughter in silent over the issue makes it complex.So he who is carrying a load knows where is paining him find your way out now to avoid had I known, for they say the beautiful ones are yet to be born.

So the earlier the better because is good to be a servant in heaven than to be a king in hell.

I pray for you my brother standing in proverbs 21:1 & it says the heart of the king is in the hand of God as Waters are in an ocean he stirs it the way he likes,so heavenly father the heart of this woman is in your hand if it it pleases you stir her heart that she will repent & come back to her senses for love & peace to reign between once again in the mighty name of Jesus!!!!

Amen!!!!!!!,thanks my brother, and to everyone who have advised in a good and bad way thanks to you all.

DMerciful:
When you're ready for marriage your views will change! You will know that relationship is about compromise on both parties and there are some that a man stamps his feet on. Imagine divorcing because of indecent dressing as the allegation from your husband, it's very shameful!

And how are you sure I'm not married? You think all men behave like this? My husband is my best friend not my boss. He can advice me but not command, and we both understand that. Like I said, grow up.

so for the op na by dressing? if you know how many churchy deeper life dresser girls act porn in their closet, character is more important than dressing.. so her putting mormon skirts to please you will automatically make her less promiscuous,thats assuming she is...

Katier00:
Op make I kukuma follow ask, is that all? You need to grow up. Is she disrespecting you? Is she wasteful or lazy or is she cheating on you or neglecting her duties as a mother and wife? Why are you creating problem were there is none. How short is the gown sef. How can you tell a woman you love that you are ashamed of her? I don't know for you ooo but my late father would say, as you makee your bed so you lie on it. No use your hand destroy the beautiful thing you have

What are you talking about?? Are you sure you're ok

DMerciful:
Why are you supporting a bad thing? So you will disrespect your husband because you want to please other men literally? Or what does a married woman get from advertisement?
Op, there are many women looking for husband, look for one who will respect you!

Thanks man..... Respect

It seems it's her friends that's making her to dress like that or the present fashion trend, just correct her in love, don't insult her, and also put her in prayers, she will definitely change

uneducated:
Op have u legally and fully married her even though u have a baby girl together? if u have, ur actions so far are ok except 4 d comment of her being " a disappointment .... ". Ofcourse, there must be other behaviours b4 now that she has done that is worth ur sincere compliments.
Find out if her father is in the know about ur complaint ( if marriage is LEGAL & COMPLETE ); if not, tell him. Wait for a week, then tell ur Pastor ( if marriage is LEGAL & COMPLETE ) .... If the marriage is not yet COMPLETED ... or LEGALIZED then u have already gone too far , such changeable character is not positive in d search 4 a life-patner beit a man/ woman . However, it has expressed itself in the area of dressing as it concerns your woman. If not 4 d baby-girl, Cut d relationship of ... pls think seriously b4 ur final decision.

Thanks a million,and to everyone who have helped to advise me positively, I stand a better enlightened

If I'm the one, i'd hold my peace and not try to make peace... cos I smell her mother's tacit back-up. This I feel would help me position well to guard my home.

ushafe:

I don't understand you, can't somebody tell his wife to dress in Godly way

You can tell her but you can't force her. That's what I was saying. He said 'two captains can not live in a ship", who is the captain he is talking about? You have to respect the other person's decision, it's her life. He is very controlling and rude.

waka2:
Involve her dad and let him know the mother is aware.

I have done that

You are married and you don't know how a married woman should dress?How many times have you seen married men wearing saggy jeans with visible boxers? Why do you encourage married women to dress like 19yrs old girls? To compete with them?
That your husband condones indecent dressing is not a standard for all men! Good day!

Empressabbie:

And how are you sure I'm not married? You think all men behave like this? My husband is my best friend not my boss. He can advice me but not command, and we both understand that. Like I said, grow up.

Souqwaqif:
Thanks all am really getting enlightened by all your post,I do appreciate your time

Guy grow up. When did you guys start reporting to parents. Na big mess up. STOP THAT!!! Fashi the parents. Don’t call them often, don’t be too quick to return their calls either. GET RESPECT FROM HER PARENTS FIRST.

ur woman, ur woman.... is she ur wife? do u legally married to her?
Meanwhile, if u 're not yet married to her, u don't have 100% control over her. The issue is that the isn't yet ready to settle down. she's still want to flex. sit her down and talk things out with her.

nicepoker101:
it's the lady that needs a lot of growing up. Stop supporting bad attitudes.

They are the same that's why she'll support her na

This time around she put on a very short gown that makes her look like a prostitute on her WhatsApp profile.

Op, from the statement as quoted above by your good self, your woman having to use one of those seductive pictures of hers on her whatsapp profile shows that she is trying to impress someone out there. She cannot come out of her present life style no matter what because already she is getting attention she is looking for. She cannot take your advise at this stage unless she becomes a victim of social media exposure that could lead to her been harmed or find herself in danger.

Many people stating herein that it is her life and she can dress the way she wants has no moral value hence their comments. A responsible woman must express herself outside through the way she dresses. For a sudden change, she is trying to impress someone out there that she is getting attention from.

If she is dressing seductively in your own house where maybe in you stay in your own personal flat or house and not in a public yard, there is nothing wrong with them. A woman who dresses seductively to attract her husband is a perfect woman. When a woman who has kid/s start dressing seductively by showing off to the outside world, she must be doing that for someone out there she is getting attention from to your own detriment because when people see her, they will know that she is not responsible and go after her lustfully.

You have every right by calling or expressing your anger on her by saying that you were ASHAMED of her current behavior and I wouldn't know the reason why some people herein are saying that you shouldn't have used that word on a woman who has a kid for you and you love. That is total nonsense.

For me, going to call her parents into the issue is not the best at that point maybe you have your reasons though. Always try to sort out your marital issues with your partner as the head of the house. Always try to find out her reasons for such a behavior first before any public disclosure. Since from your write-up, you explained that you have on several occasion called her to express yourself that her dressings has changed and you do not want such and she continued shows that she cannot change. Since you have morals and maybe at this point, it seems you are just cohabiting and not married yet, you can take a walk as she cannot change from her present behavior because you cannot force her to live in isolation as she cannot express her life style anymore. She might try to hide her present behavior and be doing her thing at your back and that could turn out to be the worst.

as for me sha i had like a woman to dress sexy when she"s at home with me.bum shorts and all .makes me happy.buluku is a no no

my brother ...i know u may not like my comment cos my opinion may be different.... if u r facing dis when dating now and u r not yet married....expect worse thing when u r finally married.... imagine telling the mother and she is not saying anything ...that really means she is supporting her daughter.....involving the father is like putting his respect in the mud...cos there is no respect for the father at home .....is better u leave such girl and look else where for a good gal..broken relationship is better than a broken marriage....cos am sure if u marry the girl .... ur relationship will not last 1yr ...is either she kill u or frustrate u....mark my words.

Souqwaqif:
I Want The Best For Her But She Seems Not To Understand, Pls Advice Needed

Dear All, good evening.

When I first met my woman, I met her decently dressed, since she is from a Christian background, likewise my very self.

But as time goes on I discovered she puts on dresses that are either too tight or too short. I have corrected her in love several times and even reported to her parents, she adjusted for a while and continued again.

She even promised to stop such dresses because of our baby girl.

This time around she put on a very short gown that makes her look like a prostitute on her WhatsApp profile.

On seeing it, I replied that I am ashamed and disappointed in her and as a result I refuse giving her the money she demanded.

She knows why I was angry and why i made such comment and instead of her to apologize she told her mother that I said I was ashamed and disappointed in her, her mother called me to ask me why I said such, I explained to her that its because I have been correcting her on her dressing but this one was too bad, she said OK and that's all.

Its over 5 days now I have not heard any thing from her and her mum. So I just kept silent too because the last that happened I was the one that called for a meeting with her parents to sort it out.

This time around I may not do such again.

However, if there is a better way you can advise me on this I will appreciate. Since her dad may not be in the know.

Thanks

DMerciful:
If you love someone and the person behaved shamefully, you can't tell the person with a straight face that you feel ashamed for what the person did? So if a married woman sees her husband wearing saggy jeans like secondary school boys she shouldn't admonish him cos she loves him? The first time she will respectfully do it but if it keeps repeating, she gets to a point where she feels ashamed and disappointed! I'm sure you're single but you'll understand when the time comes!

I understand how you feel, the fact is that there are certain words that isn't good to use while expressing your feelings. I can rebuke in manner that shows respect.

Katier00:
Op make I kukuma follow ask, is that all? You need to grow up. Is she disrespecting you? Is she wasteful or lazy or is she cheating on you or neglecting her duties as a mother and wife? Why are you creating problem were there is none. How short is the gown sef. How can you tell a woman you love that you are ashamed of her? I don't know for you ooo but my late father would say, as you makee your bed so you lie on it. No use your hand destroy the beautiful thing you have

I feel sorry for the unfortunate man that will marry this one because he will train bastard kids that are not his.

And the most annoying thing about this olosho, you fall deeply in love with them. That leaving them is like killing yourself. I don date one before weh just Dey share for every guy for we area. To leave come become issue. E reach extent weh I no Dey talk with ma mum self, because my mum happens to know about the lady fuckology. It got to a point where I wanted to choose the useless girl over my mum. All that one na story now sha. Back to the issue. The simple truth is, any woman that will not respect you.LET HER GO.

sgtponzihater1:
Plss try and give us an update. Most times we get post like this but can't follow through on how it ended.

Alright I will.

sweetrace:


Stop listening to all these Nairaland armchair analysts and go and fix your relationship. Is your own Christianity only about clothes? Should you not love her unconditionally? Should you not forgive her always? A Christian seeking advice from a forum filled with Christians, Muslims, and atheists will end up confused because you don’t share the same principles. That lady is only dressing that way for you. Most intelligent women dress sexy for their men. However, if you ignore her or don’t compliment her but nag, she may begin to feel insecure and seek validation from whoever is giving it to her. Go to her and tell her your heart. Tell her she looks so sexy you are afraid of loosing her to someone else. Encourage her to wear the clothes at home and lavish her with compliments. She won’t feel the need to put pictures on WhatsApp. Buy her clothes too: sexy for home and more formal for going out.

I have done this over and over again.

Clefayomide:
I feel this issue should be fixed between you and your woman alone, without involving a third party. If you continue to involve a third party in your business all the time, be prepared to have various family meetings over little issue, which to me isn't cool for a long lasting relationship or marriage. If you're not cool with the way she dress, I'd suggest you try talking to her about it again, take her out for little shopping (make sure you go with her), recommend for her a couple of nice responsible outfits, and then from the store u guys should head to a cool restaurant eat something lite. With this, you've been able to talk to her in a loving way and not by fighting her or reporting her to her parents.

Some people really find it very difficult comprehending a little writeup such as this.

The OP did not report her to anybody it was the wife that took the issue to her mother and father.

My brother, I'm very sorry to say this to you. You lack the will, quality and ability to control the home u established.

How come that your family issues should be settled by either ur farther out mother in-law? This is unacceptable. If u friend on them to settle petty issue like this, what will happen wen bigger ones come?

Now, let me criticize the other of ur action. Pls don't threaten ur wife of not giving her money cos u have little issue with her. She's not ur girlfriend nor ur housegirl.
She may have requested this money which u agreed to give, why bringing it into a different case.

All u need do is keep talking her out of that which u don't like. Tell her how she is different from those she want to imitate. Teach her not to sacrifice morality on the alter of trending fashion. Tell her that even ppl are complaining about her behind her. This will make her say to herself... So ppl are not even impressed about my fashion and that may discourage her,

My brother, the most important is to be in control of ur family. If u fail, ur in-laws will control u and may destroy the family. My 10kobo advise.

Souqwaqif:
I Want The Best For Her But She Seems Not To Understand, Pls Advice Needed

Dear All, good evening.

When I first met my woman, I met her decently dressed, since she is from a Christian background, likewise my very self.

But as time goes on I discovered she puts on dresses that are either too tight or too short. I have corrected her in love several times and even reported to her parents, she adjusted for a while and continued again.

She even promised to stop such dresses because of our baby girl.

This time around she put on a very short gown that makes her look like a prostitute on her WhatsApp profile.

On seeing it, I replied that I am ashamed and disappointed in her and as a result I refuse giving her the money she demanded.

She knows why I was angry and why i made such comment and instead of her to apologize she told her mother that I said I was ashamed and disappointed in her, her mother called me to ask me why I said such, I explained to her that its because I have been correcting her on her dressing but this one was too bad, she said OK and that's all.

Its over 5 days now I have not heard any thing from her and her mum. So I just kept silent too because the last that happened I was the one that called for a meeting with her parents to sort it out.

This time around I may not do such again.

However, if there is a better way you can advise me on this I will appreciate. Since her dad may not be in the know.

Thanks

you are having issues with your spouse cos of dressing? Na wa o when others are praying for the ones posh dressing sense. Life sef.

feelme3:


Very sensible woman talking here. I am impressed.

Obviously more than half the people dishing out "advice" here are not or have never been married.
What I can deduce from op is a man that is a bit insecure from practicing religion.

Like someone asked before, aside wearing short clothes, has any aspect of your woman's life changed negatively? Is she neglecting house chores, does she still take good care of your baby and you? You didn't say if she wear these outfits outside of your home and what does your woman do for work by the way?

Free your mind from religious slavery bro.
My wife is among top minister in my church choir. I belong to the media department in the same church and we are very active and practical christians. However, I can't imagine having a woman that constantly ties wrapper or dresses like deeper life all the time, even in the privacy of our home (no offense meant if that's your denomination). Heck, I buy some sexy outfits for my wife myself.
One evening I told my wife to put on one of her "hot" bum shorts and I wore me a cool beach pants and we went outing. Believe me, she was shocked at the suggestion but after the experience I noticed a positive change of confidence and trust in our relationship.

Yes of course it's not right for a woman to wear very short clothes out especially without her man's permission but if you can make this correction in a loving manner without always being judgemental she'll come around. Let her know how beautiful and sexy she is to you and why you're not comfortable with her sense of dressing. Believe me ehn, women can be very stubborn when you are trying to suppress them especially without making them see reasons why you want them to do certain things.

Growing up I remember deeper life folks not owning TV because it's gateway to sin and Jehovah's witnesses terming the internet the 666 but what's the case today? The world has evolved and you should too bro.

God bless you!!

Souqwaqif:
I Want The Best For Her But She Seems Not To Understand, Pls Advice Needed

Dear All, good evening.

When I first met my woman, I met her decently dressed, since she is from a Christian background, likewise my very self.

But as time goes on I discovered she puts on dresses that are either too tight or too short. I have corrected her in love several times and even reported to her parents, she adjusted for a while and continued again.

She even promised to stop such dresses because of our baby girl.

This time around she put on a very short gown that makes her look like a prostitute on her WhatsApp profile.

On seeing it, I replied that I am ashamed and disappointed in her and as a result I refuse giving her the money she demanded.

She knows why I was angry and why i made such comment and instead of her to apologize she told her mother that I said I was ashamed and disappointed in her, her mother called me to ask me why I said such, I explained to her that its because I have been correcting her on her dressing but this one was too bad, she said OK and that's all.

Its over 5 days now I have not heard any thing from her and her mum. So I just kept silent too because the last that happened I was the one that called for a meeting with her parents to sort it out.

This time around I may not do such again.

However, if there is a better way you can advise me on this I will appreciate. Since her dad may not be in the know.

Thanks

You are giving d girl and her mum the impression that you care too much for them. For u to engage them at first instance shows how much a weakling u are and now they are playing hard games on u. Ask urself, if she respects me why should I keep correcting her and she keeps making trouble with it? My friend d greatest mistake u wil do is to engage anybody including d father. What are u stil doing wit a gal that disrespects u. U are a big fool. If she has ur baby, fine, then keep d relationship at that level. Take care of her and ur baby and thats d end, find a gal dat respects u to spend ur life. U av seen d signs nw but u wont heed to it.

Whois:


I think they're using you. You'll soon create another thread sha

Sorry sir,I did that to prove its not money that is the issue between us but the senseless dressing of a mother that has a daughter to bring up in a decent way.

correctyourself:


show me where they mentioned married or my wife! read through again and from the comprehension you could understand that they are not living together. he called her my woman in other word girlfriend, this further shows that he just impregnated her and not married to her.

How can we leave together when I work outside the state where is running her school program

SapphireFort:
You didn't go about it the right way. If truly you love her,let it show even in the way you express your displeasure. Correct her in love and do not report her to anyone. It is not okay for you to expose your relationship to third party influence or withold gifts because you feel she has done something wrong

didn't you hear when he said, he has corrected her on several ocation? And didn't you hear where he said, she her self reported the issue to mum? Or you just decided to be plain DUMB!!!

boomssey:
Seriously speaking I can't just believe what some ladies are saying here,its so uncalled for.if I was d guy I would just abadon her and take my child from her since her parents supports her. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

If no positive outcome from my complaints to her dad,and no apology from her,this will be my next option.