If you think you can manage it but, but, but.... My brother, it is not easy. The devil you know MAY NOT be better than the saint you don't know. Reason..... dEVIL will always be EVIL except he changes to a saint.

Raddie:


Grab a couple of beers call everyone together and a couple of neutrals, have the whole house covered with cams. Don't forget to get high as f**k, a time of your life, relax and roll a blunt. By morning brand new you!

In the wisdom of Centino.
Tell them to blow weed and see life from a different perspective

Pafoma:


What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them.

I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it

My brother ignore all these people telling u to leave her.. u feel that way cos u knew her before yet still loved her.. many girls u don’t know have done worst! Runs girls get marrieg faster than decent girls these days hope u know .. n they make excellent wives... the celebrities ur guys in nairaland lust about have all done worst compare to ur girl... Bro whe. U meet the right one u forget all her past! They r her past! Just give her boundaries about how she relate with guys now .. Marry her n u won’t regret it

Skyfornia:


How do you think she can prove it and remain steadfast after wedding? Do you have any assurance?

Honestly, there is a way men look down on any guy dating their ex, especially when the said ex is someone they didn't value or someone with negative experience.

I'm not trying to discourage you, you can go ahead if you think or sure you won't use her past to judge her, or feel unease anytime you remember so so and so person had explored your wife's Bermuda triangle.

How far Chioma ex wey Davido dey die for? Dutchess Merkel's Former husband wey Prince don marry? Do you think their exes see those men as inferior?

The painful thing about this situation is, these sets of people if only then can change, they will make allotta sense

One thing I came to understand about women is if she has made up her mind to stick with you she will make sure she cuts of her past but beware, she is gonna have one ex.

It's even further worst if u feel any form pressure as regards to generally leveling up because if u feel this pressure ones u shake boom!!!!! She slides.

My brother I fear for you but my hopes are high. Before u put up this topic here u must have been thinking and I swear I know the feelings.

Skyfornia:
Huh...my brother I'll advice you as a fellow brother, leave that lady and preserve your respect. I can't even date any lady I know her ex boyfriend not to talk of dating or marrying one that have dated someone in my circle. Those men will never respect you and your woman...

kiss the truth op.
Think with your head, not your heart.

GrabHisBalls:
Your fiancée is a free giver na! The economic benefit is that she'll help relieve guys of conji. We can't all be reserved.

very true we all can't be reserved..

izzou:


Everyone has a past bro

If you had dated and had sex with her friends, I'm sure you would want her to still stick with you.

But then, it's your call. If you know your emotions won't be able to stand this heat, take it outta the kitchen.

She may have genuinely changed, but your friends haven't

you made it short but it real makes a lot sense. I recomend your advice for the OP.
You deserve a chilled bottle of origin
Thumb up

Pafoma:


Easier said, feelings are now involved for me! Sigh!

Then y are looking 4 advice when u have already made up ur mind? When u are ready to take necessary action, nobody will tell u. Right now, ur eye never clear

The problem with our generation os that, we still look for answers when our instinct has already given us an answer to our problems. Its a folly unto man to ask for that which he can achieve for himself. If you can't do this, don't come begging for us to advise you on how to go for your divorce.

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

Do you like to remain disturbed all your married life, assuming you go ahead to marry her?
How will you react if one of those guys taunt you about fcvking her? Are you mature enough to handle such, especially if inspired by alcohol?

Can you send me your fiancee's telephone no. I want to share some private advice with her

Can i have her Number please cos she needs Counselling

If your spirit don’t approval her,then you have to search for another lady.

Fountainofyouth:
That lady is shameless and has esteem issues for her to have something to do with you and your former clique...

You lack high standard, moral decency, and also esteem issues for you to go for someone who has been passed around by your friends, you lack class,

Your faults,
Were you blind or deaf that you didn't know all these revelations before starting the relationship with her and falling in love?
How come it is now that you want to dump her you remember that she was once a free sample?
You are now having second thoughts but you don't want your conscience to judge you that's why you came here to rant so you won't feel and be perceived as a terrible person for wasting her time all this while abi?
And then you remembered a tale that was long forgotten cos you are tired and bored of her and need a stupid ass reason to break up with her right?

Clap for yourself mister man, we will tell you what you want to hear, break up with her and let her be, but know this, I assure you that the next woman you meet will have evil, deadly baggages as high as Mount Everest that you will never know till you are both married, and I pray by that time, it will too late for you, I so pray it will really be too late, nonsense.

you spoke my mind, the guy is really suffering from low self esteem .

You said she's soft on guys meaning she doesn't know how to say no. You know married women still get toasters from landlords, neighbours, colleagues etc. You can go ahead and marry her just cultivate a forgiving heart and you're good to go.
Meanwhile contact me for your customised handmade greeting cards for all occasions especially this yuletide season . Whatsapp 08163975264

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

You have your own decision to make, but in your judgment remember she told you about her past. Her honesty should be a guide, I know and hear of married women who were virgins before they married, but sleeps around.
Help her to overcome her past, pray, but if you still don't have peace let her be. After all Rahab was an oloso, but part of Jesus linage.
If you love her to overlook her error, marry her; forget about respect of men!

Pafoma:

Dated and had sex with her during the period, yes.

Uncle, leave that girl.

People must be made to understand that their actions have consequences.

I can imagine her making a mockery of girls who are working hard to be decent, saying that pretenders do the worst. Now, the chicken has come to roost.

However, if you must continue with her, you should change your circle of friends and relocate.

If she's truly worth all the headache, please do it. If not, walk away.

But, if you don't make either of the moves, you will live with pangs of regret for the rest of your life.

It's your call

Pafoma:


Yes, acquitances and friends i used to be close too. A few of the friends, we just greet but no close bonds any longer although not because of her but i just moved on from an unfocused & unserious lifestyle.

Yes, i am talking about both dated and just a few times together..
Straight like she has realised her former lifestyle was foolish. Not exactly having casual sex but but guys that persuade/pester her that they like her or they dated briefly, she had something with them.

She realised she was just being used and non of the guys that assured her of their faithfulness were true, they all just did her and moved on.. i am sure you get!

If you truly love her,have a talk with her especially on the issue of faithfulness and your stand on infedility, for the circle thing ennnh,no one can make you feel inferior without your consent and no one can disrespect you if you dont let them,especially when they know your stands concerning your family,its unfortunate she was naive,alot of ladies have been used because love naivity(most will never tell you)esp the soft,good hearted ones looking for love,am sure she has learnt her lesson.
If you love her,if you understand her,if she makes you happy nd vice versa,if you are compatible, marry her.

NwaAmaikpe, I could see that you were viewing this topic. Where the fvck have you been all this while for fvck's sake

dharamanil:
The painful thing about this situation is, these sets of people if only then can change, they will make allotta sense

One thing I came to understand about women is if she has made up her mind to stick with you she will make sure she cuts of her past but beware, she is gonna have one ex.

It's even further worst if u feel any form pressure as regards to generally leveling up because if u feel this pressure ones u shake boom!!!!! She slides.

My brother I fear for you but my hopes are high. Before u put up this topic here u must have been thinking and I swear I know the feelings.

Very true!

Fountainofyouth:
That lady is shameless and has esteem issues for her to have something to do with you and your former clique...

You lack high standard, moral decency, and also esteem issues for you to go for someone who has been passed around by your friends, you lack class,

Your faults,
Were you blind or deaf that you didn't know all these revelations before starting the relationship with her and falling in love?
How come it is now that you want to dump her you remember that she was once a free sample?
You are now having second thoughts but you don't want your conscience to judge you that's why you came here to rant so you won't feel and be perceived as a terrible person for wasting her time all this while abi?
And then you remembered a tale that was long forgotten cos you are tired and bored of her and need a stupid ass reason to break up with her right?

Clap for yourself mister man, we will tell you what you want to hear, break up with her and let her be, but know this, I assure you that the next woman you meet will have evil, deadly baggages as high as Mount Everest that you will never know till you are both married, and I pray by that time, it will too late for you, I so pray it will really be too late, nonsense.

Wow! don't take it personal, he might not have thought about getting married to her when the relationship started, now that the thought crossed his mind, he has to check everything and clear his thought, besides, who knows if she really wants to marry him, she might just say no and move on herself.

J

bukatyne:


When you say circle, are you talking of acquaintances you can subtly part ways with or friends like business partners etc. you can't do without?

Are you also talking of dating one person, did not work out thingy or casual sex with a number of them?

If it is ex, I believe the person should be mature enough to move on and treat you both with respect: if it is causal sex with multiple people in one circle then you might want to move on.

Also, you say she is trying to be straightforward: in sexual matters, you are either straightforward aka faithful or not. If she was used to having causal sex in the past and she wanted to change, she knows the situations she should not get into.

You might also want to know why she wants to change: her biological clock is ticking and she wants to settle down? She has seen the error of her ways and truly repenting? She wasn't wise enough to discern when she was in a relationship with herself and had sex too soon? She had psychological issues and used sex to fill that need?

In summary, if your spirit does not have peace with this lady, move on.

While I understand the sentiment behind not wanting to start afresh, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

Jeeeez!.....been ages av seen, heard a lady speak so candid nd straight without emotions....

Honestly am moved...I want to know u plz

mysticgal:

That’s the most stupid law that has existed in humanity. A lot of you Nigerians are so good at generalizations it has killed you people, have you met a hundred people who has ever had sex with their ex’s while in a relationship or not? I mean met not I heard. Well, I have met 20 who would never go back or have sex with their ex’s even with guns to their heads...21 if I include myself so drop that stupid law and face reality. Okafors law lo, okorie’s rule ni.

When I get to a hundred I would quote this thread.

The most retardèd law on the face of the earth. Nigerian exes that act like enemies are th same ones that have sex with each other. Enough to form one dumb law.

Only two people who haven't truly moved on would do that shii.

Naija guys think too highly of themselves and their sexual skills... but na them swallow tramadol and monkey tail pass

baby124:
Then why did you chase her and maintain a relationship with her if you knew these things were important to you? If she did not give you a chance now, you will claim that women don’t like good guys. You think you are doing her a favor by dating her? When you are just occupying space in her life. You are still a small boy.

Please and please tell her you cannot date someone you know the men she has been with. Then kindly let her go abeg. I am sure a man that loves her has been trying to get her attention, but you are just there blocking it. I also hope for her sake that she has options, so that it will do you like film trick when she marries and you go on and start a #new# relationship. .

Never take decisions based on friends. I know a lot of people that have regretted this! Friendships mostly do not last and the person they will influence you to marry, you may just detest the person. Always go with your own choice.

from his narrative, she gives anyone who whistles at her a chance, so, this was never an option for her

@OP, if you are not at peace with marrying her, abeg leave her to find someone that is not within a circle she has been passdd around. Forget all this childish talk about who has changed, you can never tell if someone has truly changed or not, until they are faced with the same situation that constantly led them to falter.

Marriage is not a joke, it is not a chamber of torture that you should subject yourself to. The day you travel and she tells you one of your friends came to check on her, how will you feel? Where will your mind go?

Trust is more important than love in any union. Don't deceive yourself. You don't know if you will still find someone better after, but by that time, you will be stuck in a marriage with a woman that you can't trust

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

Dear Sir,

I think I was in a similar situation when I wanted to marry my wife but mine is that she has dated my friend before and was even the person that deflowered her. Try to talk to her about it and let her know you ain't comfortable with the whole thing and let her give you her word of total change.
If you love her please you guys should talk and make it work...

Pafoma:


Easier said, feelings are now involved for me! Sigh!

Broken courtship better pass broken marriage o.

Marry her. Just check her reproductive health. Then marry her that's all.


Love conquers all.

sonature1:


Uncle, leave that girl.

People must be made to understand that their actions have consequences.

I can imagine her making a mockery of girls who are working hard to be decent, saying that pretenders do the worst. Now, the chicken has come to roost.

However, if you must continue with her, you should change your circle of friends and relocate.

If she's truly worth all the headache, please do it. If not, walk away.

But, if you don't make either of the moves, you will live with pangs of regret for the rest of your life.

It's your call

people should not be punished for their past mistakes.

She's obviously someone who was desperate for love, hence, her involvement with so many deceitful men that only wanted to hit and run. You can question her judgment, but she shouldn't be punished for falling for idiots.

Pafoma:


What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them.

I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it

I don't think detaching yourself from the circle will do much brother, their respect will somehow do few if not much. (though IPAKO KO GBO SUTI, ORI ELEGAN LO YI and IMI TINTINNI LETI AWO GBEGIRI, B'OJU BA KURO NI IBE, OKAN NKO?) I WOULD RATHER SAY YOU LOOK AND EVEN CROSS CHECK BEFORE YOU LEAP, ANY MISTAKE IN MARRIAGE IS A FOREVER THING. LET'S ASSUME AFTER FEW YEARS OF MARRIAGE, YOU MEET HER CHATTING OR EVEN LAUGHING WITH ONE OF THOSE WHO'D TASTED HER PUDDINGS? YOU WILL GRADUALLY START DOUBTING HER AND STARTED HAVING BAD THOUGHTS.


JUST DON'T DO STUPID OR SILLY THING IN TNE NAME OF LOVE.

[s]

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

[/s]
RULE !

Most ladies are wh0res but NEVER marry a KNOWN wh0re

My only questions is that, are you sure if this feelings
u are having towards her can stay in a life time and is that same feeling being reciprocated by her on the same degree? If yes then i think u should try and help her develop a stronger personality before y'all dive into the ocean of marriage that means u should court each other a little more so u guyz could appreciate each other flaws and strength. Buh if the answer is vice versa i think y'all should just stay as friends. Because marriage comes with a boat load of trials, temptations and trouble.