Give more time to study the two
Delay your marriage and get to know the two well before picking the final answer.

jendoslim:


What has heights got to do with this issue bro?

I dnt really Know but it's just what i've noticed so far. Short girls behave more submissive.

mrbenjame:


Thanks. But this your username sha.

It's a James Bond movie

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Don't marry any of them!


Don't marry Susan because she is not marriageable, she will give you more troubles if you wife her.

Susan type of ladies are meant to be girlfriends or mistresses for life since they refused to have sense.

Guys stop dignifying mannerless ladies with wedding ring, drop Susan or keep her as your life mistress but no ring!

Don't marry Benita because she is still a student.

Don't make the mistake of marrying any female student in 2020 and beyond or else you will regret.

Allow Benita pass through school and flex her youthful age and make mistakes and come back to her senses before you can consider her for marriage which means you cannot marry her since you want to settle down anytime soon.

Look for a lady between the age of 27 - 35yrs and marry, and you will have peace of mind. Don't marry any girl below 27yrs in our present world if you want a happy marriage.

Most Nigerian ladies start to have sense and become valuable assets to any man they are dating or married to from the age of 27yrs and above.

Ladies below 27yrs are for fun...unless you have married before, had kids, have lots of money and just looking for just fun and a girl to take around for parties, political functions and vacation, that's if your first wife is late

franchasng:

Most Nigerian ladies start to have sense and become valuable assets to any man they are dating or married to from the age of 27yrs and above.

Ladies in this age bracket you mentioned have passed their young and tender age. I wouldn't advise anyone to go for them. Unless for sure you know what you are getting into. My ideal age to look out for is 23-25 and should be a graduate.

I don't know the kind of advise you need again when clearly you know which of them is your better half... If you want to die of high blood pressure after marriage, go for Susan (not her real name).. If you want to enjoy a beautiful marriage, then go for Benita (not her real name).. Besides I don't think your mum would still want you to marry Susan if you had told her about the way Susan behaves.

Once again my votes goes to Benita (not her real name).

It’s good to know that a lot of people have given good advices. I’ll like to reply the person who asked how many abortions has Susan had. It’s very funny honestly. Everybody must be impregnated or what? I don’t get it. It’s just that I can’t mention you. Don’t know what you did not to be mentioned but I just wish you read this. I’m not an irresponsible man.


Now over to the other person who said I have low self esteem. That I always dated younger women. How can you be so sure? Is a 24 year old lady a teenager? Or Is a 27 years old lady very young? I’ve dated even older ladies before them. And I quit by myself. So you don’t know me. Sorry. I’m a man that can’t be toiled with. I’m just seeking for counsel because anybody can make mistakes. It’s just that my family members are just trying to make me consider the first woman because we’ve come a long way when I know I can’t cope with her after sitting her down severaly and thereby ending the discussion in quarrel. I don’t intimidate women and that’s why I wish to take things calm. So don’t take my simplicity for granted. Ok?

Omar09:


Ladies in this age bracket you mentioned have passed their young and tender age. I wouldn't advise anyone to go for them. Unless for sure you know what you are getting into. My ideal age to look out for is 23-25 and should be a graduate.

I doubt you have good knowledge of Nigerian ladies or black women at all.


Marrying a black Nigerian lady of 23 - 25yrs is not advisable in our present world for any guy below 40yrs with low financial stability.

I know you are talking based on reproductivity of a lady, but I tell you, the world has changed and time has changed too, you don't need to give birth to 5 kids, one or two or three kids at worst case scenario are enough.

In Nigeria which happens to be our case study in this regard, a girl of 23 - 25yrs have not even finished university, and if at all she did early and finished, most girls at that age don't know what they want in life. Some still want to depend solely on a man or their parents at that age.

Most girls at that age still allow their friends, peers and media to detect who their ideal partner should be. They don't have their own opinion because at that age, most Nigerian girls have not developed fully to form their own opinion and have a personal self reliance.

The best age to marry a Nigerian lady and get the best out of her is between the age of 27 - 35yrs.

Some ladies at 25 - 26yrs can be exception though maybe because they were fortunate to have early maturity

franchasng:

The best age to marry a Nigerian lady and get the best out of her is between the age of 27 - 35yrs.
Some ladies at 25 - 26yrs can be exception though maybe because they were fortunate to have early maturity

Actually I don't. But what I do know is they get bitter at that age. Plus marriage you ain't even sure would last 15yrs, why go in with a bitter one who used most if her years in discovering herself by hoeing while you can go in with one who is younger.

Don't get me wrong, it's good she discovers herself. Waiting that long to get in with her is sick.

What is your problem with Jambite? That's on a lighter mode. Marriage is not by washing of clothes and plates. Who will make meaningful contributions to your life? Clearly Your first girl was raised in a home where she was not taught how to do house chores, you can teach her, if shez matured enough to want to settle down, she will learn. Getting married to a girl because she washes yr clothes, plates, cooks for you etc is not so smart. Trust me, when children starts coming in and responsibilities quadruples, my guy, you will not think about plate/clothe washing.
Marry someone who will be your helper. Only the smart will understand

daddytime:
Are you Idris Okuneye?

Answer me before I advise you.

My name is Adviser Nowamagbe

my favorite Edo artist well don ooo

zeeek:
What is your problem with Jambite? That's on a lighter mode. Marriage is not by washing of clothes and plates. Who will make meaningful contributions to your life? Clearly Your first girl was raised in a home where she was not taught how to do house chores, you can teach her, if shez matured enough to want to settle down, she will learn. Getting married to a girl because she washes yr clothes, plates, cooks for you etc is not so smart. Trust me, when children starts coming in and responsibilities quadruples, my guy, you will not think about plate/clothe washing.
Marry someone who will be your helper. Only the smart will understand

Did you read where he said he discussed with her yet no change and that whenever he discusses it with her it usually ends in fight?

None

I am going to give you a very different responds entirely...
Susan will eventually take advantage of you and turn you to a piece of rag much later in life judging by your alterations towards her..
Benita is a good girl but I wouldn't advice you to go into marriage yet with her.
cos you need to understand her well,women can pretend alot especially when they are desperate.
and secondly are you ready to see her through school and also endure the things you are yet to see??
dont forget she is still in 100l and if you are the jealous type trust me you gonna develop B.P before your time ,by the time you see her receive calls from coursemate you will definitely not relax but paint alot of picture on your mind which will in turn cause misunderstanding in your marriage..

so if I may say.
you are yet to see the Real woman for you.

Why not choose me instead...

gracevile:
come my place na i will treat u pass king sef, any way i don finish school even the service too

Congratulations. But Benita is cool.

lexy2014:


Since u can't make up ur mind, let me help u. This is my landlords daughter. She is very single & available. She has everything u need in a woman

I have 2 women here and you want to make it 3. Is not fair.

Emotion no gree u think. Guy use your sense. Keep emotion for backyard.

fkj950ax:
A girlfriend isn't supposed to be doing house chores for you. So using that as a basis to be affectionate or otherwise to either of them is wrong.

If girlfriend one starts doing the chores and become a time keeper, will your opinion about her change?

If girlfriend two for any reason become less inclined to do the chores, will you be looking for girlfriend three?

You aren't ready for marriage Sir. It's not Benita or Susan that has issues. It's all you.

nice comment. He is basing his love and happiness on the one that does chores and keeps to time. He has to weigh the good and bad of both and see who measures up. People change. If Benita changes tomorrow will he still love her? If Susan starts doing the stuff Benita does, will he love her back?. The guy is the problem not the ladies. He doesn't know exactly what he wants

Zyni:
Why not choose me instead...

Hmmmmm. Making it 3?

Pinkie2018:
?. The guy is the problem not the ladies. He doesn't know exactly what he wants

You get it 100%

He is still a child somewhere in his head

Oga you are the problem not the girl. I will advise the girls not to marry you.

franchasng:
Don't marry any of them!


Don't marry Susan because she is not marriageable, she will give you more troubles if you wife her.

Susan type of ladies are meant to be girlfriends or mistresses for life since they refused to have sense.

Guys stop dignifying mannerless ladies with wedding ring, drop Susan or keep her as your life mistress but no ring!

Don't marry Benita because she is still a student.

Don't make the mistake of marrying any female student in 2020 and beyond or else you will regret.

Allow Benita pass through school and flex her youthful age and make mistakes and come back to her senses before you can consider her for marriage which means you cannot marry her since you want to settle down anytime soon.

Look for a lady between the age of 27 - 35yrs and marry, and you will have peace of mind. Don't marry any girl below 27yrs in our present world if you want a happy marriage.

Most Nigerian ladies start to have sense and become valuable assets to any man they are dating or married to from the age of 27yrs and above.

Ladies below 27yrs are for fun...unless you have married before, had kids, have lots of money and just looking for just fun and a girl to take around for parties, political functions and vacation, that's if your first wife is late

useless advice.

fkj950ax:


You get it 100%

He is still a child somewhere in his head

I’ve weighed my options. I’ve know both for a very long time. I’m not a child. Don’t insult me. I don’t need you to decide for me. All my problem is, is that the consideration on how long we’ve been together by my family members observiation and their go ahead to marry her is what makes me think deep. Is that too much to ask? What do you mean? I’m a full grown man who can also make silly mistakes advanced people do. Do you get me?

lavylilly:
Oga you are the problem not the girl. I will advise the girls not to marry you.

Your opinion doesn’t count. I’m never the problem. Dating who can’t enter the kitchen is that what you’d justify? now I’m the problem. People are very funny.

PrimadonnaO:


Well, truthfully, I only like it as occasional treats. I'd rather be the one doing more of the cooking treats.

Fair enough. I think I can live with that

Pinkie2018:
useless advice.

Pinkie2018:
nice comment. He is basing his love and happiness on the one that does chores and keeps to time. He has to weigh the good and bad of both and see who measures up. People change. If Benita changes tomorrow will he still love her? If Susan starts doing the stuff Benita does, will he love her back?. The guy is the problem not the ladies. He doesn't know exactly what he wants

Hello Susan, we sight you oh, don't worry if op no marry you, Bobrisky is still very much single

Op!!!
One clear advice for you marry the one that loves you not who you love...
I think for people like you the more your woman shows you love the more you love her...

Oga, Marry any of them

johnad3:
Whats wrong dating a student?

Nothing actually.
Except that they portray the acts explained by the OP, via his first girl

mrbenjame:

I’m not a child.

My sincere apologies my comment upset you.

But to be honest with you, you aren't ready for marriage.