It's good that the newly married couple be let alone to know each other well and be free in their home without burden of relatives from either sides.

My brother who got married recently told mum that after the wedding she will go back to his station with them. To rest after the stress of running around. When it was mentioned to me, I said no way that she won't go yet at least let them stay together for the first 12-18 months alone before on their own to know each other well before she can talk of visiting.

I told her to rather come to my house and rest. She is here now with me and the newly married are on their own.

Sometimes , the man doesn't know the stress and pressure he put on the wife with relatives coming at the wrong time.

After I had my last baby, barely 2 months old hubby brought his mother to come and rest. This move was stressful for me because in addition to the baby that needs constant attention is elderly mum that had to be attended to. Though hubby helps out at times at a point I broke down and was admitted in the hospital.

So the timing of visit is very important.

pocohantas:


Burn!!!

Walahi, na unfortunate people dey leave their house go dey disturb person o. Can you imagine Otedola going to Cuppy's matrimonial home.

This is poor people's problem.

I hate you poco

pocohantas:


Oga na poor people problem be this. Every time such topics come up, what is the leading issue? FOOD!

Did MamaP leave Aso Rock to go stay with that her daughter. Abegi! Poor people too dey disturb. Rich people stay in their houses. If they are looking for vacation spots, they travel out. Na the poor relatives dey find way to come to their own house.

Na why I no wan marry poor man from a poor family. Once inlaws are unengaged, they will start looking for their employed brothers house to go! If I check my husband's pocket, I will check all his siblings own. The more comfortable they are, the more peace I have. They will face their homes and leave my husband for me!

With the intensity you disdain poor people,
I hope you come from a very rich family.

Misscongenialit:


I'm guessing you have no feelings for this woman that's why she doesn't mean anything of value to you. Watch out though , so you do not make a monster out of her because of your family and destroy your home , mind you , your mother and siblings have their home yours is secondary, if you destroy yours they wont live with you forever. Love the woman you married, if you cant love her enough to give her some honor pls tell her and let her go find someone who will

Never allow feelings to cloud your judgement especially when a family issue is being discussed!!!

Monster??

If she decide to be a bad wife, Divorce is loading...

Life is too short to accommodate stubborn wife!!!

Some men can't afford to allow their relatives stay. If the man can afford it, why not? Using ur relatives to inconvenience ur wife is a no-no if u are poor. Assuming she's a working class lady, contributing her hard earned money, u will now bring ur siblings to be depleting her sweat? Abeggi!

i think its love that could make relative to visit you.

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

so should your own mother and siblings. But you lots csbt swallow the pill yiu give. You can only do this of course if only you husband is a weak dick simpleton

Marriage and it's unending complexities.

If no be money, sex, in-laws/relatives. Abeg the wahala too plenty

Beta stay unmarried dumbass

eni4real:
Never allow feelings to cloud your judgement especially when a family issue is being discussed!!!

Monster??

If she decide to be a bad wife, Divorce is loading...

Life is too short to accommodate stubborn wife!!!

If divorce is a better option than treating your woman right, then so be it. Wish you well as you go divorce tire!!

What mold the thinking of others should be examined before spreading your opinion to others. Because it's working for you doesn't mean it will be the same for others.
Some husband's family has destroyed homes in this same Nigeria, some wives families have also destroyed once a sweet home... The Nigeria movie industry has also used such a scenario to art films. So, if you are directly involved with some of these experiences or your family or friends...definitely it will affect her choice of accepting either of the family staying. Or the lady with a serious attitude problem which she believes you are the only one that can understand her because of the love you have for her, she might prevent your family not to come to stay in other for them not to see her flaws

AmTruth:
That's why I said that misunderstanding is inevitable, but women must learn to tolerate it for them to truly have a happy married life.

Same goes for men

Misscongenialit:


If divorce is a better option than treating your woman right, then so be it. Wish you well as you go divorce tire!!

Bye Bye to paranoid and Stubborn wife!!!

bigiyaro:
OP u are very correct, after ur blood family have finished raising and molding u, one woman will enter and start forming 'my husband' while she was never there in the beginning. some migth even leave when the going gets very rough but ur blood family will still be dia for u, they were around when u have nothing and will still be around when u have everything, a woman was complaining about soup in one thread because of the Hubby's brother, what if it was her own Darling junior brother? Let us beware of such stingy and self-centered women.

Trust me , those kind of situation most time caused by we men , some men are just too pvssy , they are too weak to make some decisions.


Even while on courtship,my wife already know that to get my best side ,she must take care of my mother and some others .


She has get used to that and today ,we are all happy , she's even the one always want them to come visiting.


I know there are self centered women out there that's are ready to achieve their selfish aim by all means even it's to kill the husband but I pray we won't be unfortunate to marry them.

My Brother's wife used to keep tight face for me back in 2012 and even gave me a per boiled rice to eat and showed to my brother. Anyways since that 2012 till date was my last day of going to my brother's house .We only see and relate in our family house .Today the woman is still begging me to visit because she feels her children are growing and needs to see their uncle and maybe benefit financially .

But this relatives had houses before you got married right, so why the sudden change of accommodation immediately you get married. I'm not against relatives coming to visit, but must relatives move permanently to your house after your married? It's not healthy especially for a young growing marriage.

eni4real:
Bye Bye to paranoid and Stubborn wife!!!

My guy, no woman gets married to be stubborn, I have taken time to explain to him that every woman submits to love and care and honor, but it appears you dont even care about her.
If I may ask ?why did you marry her? To become a puppet for your family, or to be a companion and a better half ? Or were u forced to marry her?

I think the answer to this will help u

I guess "simp" is the new word on NL

Meeyankee:

I tire for those selfish living things. When 90% of them only know man when the going is fine and money is involved.once money finish them go jap efcc, but the man and his family has been together for more than 30 years managing life. One thing that really gave lesson about woman is the way they treat their maid, they way they treat others people children living with them. Whenever you gets to woman house the first throng you notice is how she treat other people’s children living with her. Woman treat others people children like trash and give them oversized clothes to wear.

You are right. The bold is actually another topic entirely. 95% of women are guilty of this.

double0seven:


With the intensity you disdain poor people,
I hope you come from a very rich family.

I don't hate them, I can't see what part of my post means hate. Did I wish them evil? Doesn't change the fact that it is common among the poor and average homes.

This is not the kind of topic the Indimi's and Buhari's will be talking about. If I were from a rich home, no amount of love will ever make me marry a struggling man. Their problems and mine are different, let's all face our type of problems.

Chommieblaq:


It’s not poor people problem na troublesome people issues, I have seen rich people act that way too, though the rich do more of bullying.

I came from humble home, lost my Dad at a very young age, I know how much we struggled together growing up, many sacrifices etc. Does that automatically means I will leave my job, pack my bags and start staying with my sisters and their family because we suffered together?
First of all, nobody owe me or anyone shit, these entitlement character breeds other forms of things.

Sis, it is poor troublesome peoples problem. Check all the stories and they have one thing in common, the relatives do not have anything doing where they are coming from or the financial gap between them is usually wide. Rich people are more of meddlesome, they like things going their way and standard. Hardly will you see an (mother) in-law with a hustle and space, come to leave permanently. I have never seen one!

If OP's relatives are all doing well with their own houses/apartments, I am sure the thought of them coming to STAY will never cross his mind.

A woman who tries to alienate the husband family from having access to their son or even receiving help from him is a bad woman.so is a woman who would not accomodate her husbands family relative.the modern day slay mamas that become wives are mostly self-centred,greedy,over ambitious control freaks.they also want to control a mans life,his wealth and even take over a mans property..only a few good women can be found nowadays.the rest are chop and run when money finish.i know a woman who drove away all her husbands relative 4rm coming to the house and she always refuse the husband helping his family,but when the mans business fell and he became sick,the socalled wife took the kids and left the man to suffer & die. the young man became bed-riden.NOW!! ask me who was there to help him & care for him? "HIS FAMILY".they all came back to rally round him and help him till he recovered.they never abandoned him.men stick to & with ur family no matter what.cos when the chips are down,they are all you would have & see.

But she has brothers so they should be the once reciprocating that in there various homes and not you bringing your own families to your husbands house

Influential101:
See men talking as if the wives don't have their own families that stood by them while growing up too .. Na only una get family ?

let me reserve my comment cos its still morning

Meeyankee:

I tire for those selfish living things. When 90% of them only know man when the going is fine and money is involved.once money finish them go jap efcc, but the man and his family has been together for more than 30 years managing life. One thing that really gave lesson about woman is the way they treat their maid, they way they treat others people children living with them. Whenever you gets to woman house the first throng you notice is how she treat other people’s children living with her. Woman treat others people children like trash and give them oversized clothes to wear.

Not all women as implied by you

mumumugu:
two strangers who have never cohabited should spend first few years alone .......much later, relations can come.


some relation can scatter family earlier

You have a point; Even during Marriage counseling it was mentioned for the first feed years of marriage couple should live alone; relatives can visit but not live with the couple; after which much later relatives can then come.

she is not married

ITbomb:
No one, not even my brother and sister should put hand in my pot of soup and take out meat, it is courtesy and family ethics.
For someone like me brought up with this mentality, I can't even stand it be you who

You have to learn to adapt. If everyone decide to bring the so called ethics there would be commotion

Wow. Someone did you a strong one

Ilekokonit:


He who has ears let him hear and LEARN from someone who has REAL LIFE experience.

Most Nigerian women are competitive DESTROYERS and their common game plan is to isolate the man by quarrelling with or ensuring he quarrels with ALL those who can give him good advice or refuge and once he is isolated from his friends and family, she will then have a free hand to deal with him RUTHLESSLY and for good measure, she will also turn his children against him.

WHAT WICKED SOULS BLACK WOMEN HAVE BECOME.

There is no love in their hearts, just cunningness, lies, greed and WICKEDNESS.

edoairways:
[/b]
Not all women as implied by you

May be 3% no dey among.. Are you from Edo state?

I can't wait to get married so my wife's sister will be visiting us.

paix:
This is uncultured, you are now a married man and your wife needs so privacy.

Don't confuse yourself abeg. Are you speaking for me or against me?