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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. (65678 Views)
Why I Won't Allow My Brother To Bring His Wife Abroad- Nigerian Lady, Arike(vid) / Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / Should I Allow My Mum To Visit Us (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by sacx: 12:35am On Feb 07, 2020 |
The irony of this set up is that, the same women who have a problem with their husbands seemingly placing their extended family before them, are the same ones that think it justifiable placing their children before the husband. You have no business getting married if you can't be accommodating to your in-laws. Humans have an inherently selfish trait and it's just sad. Imagine someone creating a thread about her brother in-law taking a serving of prepared food. Exactly how petty can one be! 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Lexusgs430: 12:39am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Everything in moderation....... Visiting is never a problem...... Staying is where their clap, don dey enter dance.......... 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 12:39am On Feb 07, 2020 |
sacx: Lol I saw her thread and was laughing cause she's just giving herself headache over nothing and her husband was saying anything cause no doubt that how they have been before she got married to him so the dude understand it a normal thing for them so he doesn't see it as a big deal...I think she commented on this thread too hopefully she doesn't spoil her marriage with her own hands. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Evercurious(f): 12:40am On Feb 07, 2020 |
CosmicJames: Sorry .. THAT GUY IS VERY MUCH ON POINT..IT'S NOT HIS PERSPECTIVE, BUT THE TRUTH |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 12:40am On Feb 07, 2020 |
this issue u guys are arguing about is only common with ppl from very poor families.in a family that is well to do who will have time to be going to the house of his brother who just got married and staying there for weeks and months .the guy no get job? if u marry from a very poor family u will experience this scenario.crowd go full ur house with the excuse of relatives wanting to visit and stay .but for a well to do family they will stay briefly and go. 11 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 12:46am On Feb 07, 2020 |
pcguru1:na jobless nau 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 12:49am On Feb 07, 2020 |
safarigirl: It's a circle, do you care about a Guy's sister or siblings when you start billing him every now & then? Answer is NO. but they will rush and borrow money from their sisters --- Before nko, If I don't borrow money from my Sister to call babe, then who should I borrow money from na? My Sister is the closest to comfort |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by sacx: 12:50am On Feb 07, 2020 |
YungJo207: She wasn't comfortable with it before marriage but she kept mum until she got the ring. Isn't that treacherous? Some ladies are naturally preprogrammed to be at loggerheads with their in-laws even before they start a relationship. 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Ladycewhy(f): 12:55am On Feb 07, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE:shut up ,and I say shut up again. How you dolts in your clique always want to label people who don't follow your red pill nonsense irks me.I would rather live in peace with a simp than with an asshole like you ,just saying and by the way happy new year ,let's start from where we stopped last year ,by the way where are your brothers Martinez and the baby daddy hero of the red pill community 5 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 12:56am On Feb 07, 2020 |
sacx: Loooll was sanwo olu not nice and a smooth talker before entering office? Lol |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 12:59am On Feb 07, 2020 |
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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:00am On Feb 07, 2020 |
I nor sabi quote that scripture well sha but let me paraphrase "And a man shall leave his family n become one with his wife ".Although I concur with the op about the relations staying with him n his wife but if the relatives staying there is going to be an obstruction to the well being of the marriage then they have to go.Remember before u married the woman in question u were convinced that she is ur all n all to u when I mean all she's ur all even to the extent kids can't come between u.When Some men are complaining kids are coming between them and their wives u are saying ur wife shouldn't come between u n your relatives as there have been there for u in the beginning. So Y then did u get married if they have been there at the beginning. As if the said relatives don't have spouses they should be putting their attention on n u want to allow devil to scatter your home because of relatives. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by drololaaof: 1:16am On Feb 07, 2020 |
I pray we have a good family members who are loving ,kind ,compassionate and not envious and jealous, some family members can destroy ones happiness in the home but again a good and understanding wife will manage them . Husband should not be harsh to his wife's family members and vice versa 2 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by DNSPro: 1:20am On Feb 07, 2020 |
AshiraWealthy:shut up |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by DNSPro: 1:21am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Jokerman:where did the op mention living with u? |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Sterope(f): 1:24am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Men will be acting like they are the only ones that have families. 8 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:29am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Amalekki:if hear say tolerate for where.No b only tolerate na teloreta.Nonsense n ingredients. Men that are not good at tolerance at all. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:32am On Feb 07, 2020 |
pocohantas:This is the most satirical comment I have read in this post so far Lol 5 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:36am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Sterope:Like me self I wonder but if it was to be the woman's case now na that time they go dey urge her to drive them away exactly the same thing dey accuse women of that's their area of specialization. Don't u wonder why some women don't relate well with some of their relatives. Its because of these same selfish men. 5 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:42am On Feb 07, 2020 |
worworbabe:they had better stay unmarried 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Hcqmela: 1:49am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Ezeanna:I love this comment 3 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 1:49am On Feb 07, 2020 |
MissGodOwn:Mrs but I never insulted her, so instead of you to tell your fellow female to take my correction and fellow the fact you are attacking me,why is it that nowadays everybody thinks they have an opinion?when you know that deep inside your mind what your are saying in wrong I am a science I always fellow the fact not people's opinions because I got deep observation into things,I reason dey way you will never reason all through your life time even when you are in your 80s,my Brian process 100% faster than yours..hmmm funny enough how some people don't know and they don't want to know. 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 1:59am On Feb 07, 2020 |
engrchykae:Just imagine very selfish set of people..well I don't let the way woman treat my decieved me,I always want to see the way she treat other people. Omo men must use head oo. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by udemzyudex(m): 2:00am On Feb 07, 2020 |
AshiraWealthy: Gbam. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Juliearth(f): 2:13am On Feb 07, 2020 |
AmTruth: You are a good man for creating a balance in your home (making your wife understand that your family is indispensable and vice versa). I don't think any woman would consciously prefer her husband's people not to visit or even stay with them. However, I have noticed that most marital problems sprout from third parties trying to dictate, shortchange, over monitore or playing third party between a man and his wife. Earlier on, I read from an op here, complaining about her brother in-law dipping his hands into her pot of soup... If she doesn't apply wisdom to tackle this issue, she may end up gaining an enemy and believe you me, it takes just having one enemy from your in-law's side for your entire in-laws to hate you. In summary, women don't despise their in-laws from staying with them, but they are scared anout the baggages that comes with that arrangement. BUT if you can create boundaries, be fair and firm(attributes that I have noticed in your writeup, thus my commendation), then there won't be any problem ( well except the wife is truly selfish and has a lowkey "in-laws OCD". |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:16am On Feb 07, 2020 |
This is a very sensitive topic. Anyways i think marriage is more peaceful and beautiful when the wife is so close to the sisters of the husband. When you initiate a cult like relationship with the mom or sisters of your husband, the man won't leave you. Marriages are easily broken when the wife distance herself from the women in the lives of the man, women that he grew up with, women that have sacrificed a lot for him, his sisters and mother. Note: I'm only focusing on the females because that is the key, male brothers in the family are not a problem at all, most of them don't even like being around their brother's house, you see the male folks want freedom. But the bond between a brother and a sister is strong, the sisters want to always know what's is going on with her brother, so a reasonable wife should use that as an advantage. But that being said, as a man of the house, you should coordinate your house in order so as to make your sisters and mother respect your wife and know that she is in charge of your home. So you must make them see her as the marital staff of authority. That way, they love and fear her at the same time, that kind of fear that will make them know that any thing she says, you will do. But as a wife when given this power, its your duty to make the mom and sisters of your husband love and honour you. For example, you can see how The wife of Obama is loved and at the same time respected. Apply that into your marriage. 4 Likes |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by cococandy(f): 2:17am On Feb 07, 2020 |
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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Juliearth(f): 2:18am On Feb 07, 2020 |
madridguy: Of course, we understand that, but we also feel threatened and perhaps useless when you take their sides even when they are wrong. A wise man once said a couple should operate as a single unit. Whether right or wrong, they should stand by each other and support each other...corrections and calling each other's F-ups should be done in private. Its hardly the case today. When you scold your wife in front of your people ( even if she is at fault) you are indirectly striking the chord of disparity and strife in your family. While some women may overlook it especially if they are at fault, most would not. |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Sterope(f): 2:22am On Feb 07, 2020 |
If a man needed to say nonsense like this, it is either he can't deal with his family or the woman he chose has a screw loose or he is just being paranoid. Hcqmela: 1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:23am On Feb 07, 2020 |
1 Like |
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Juliearth(f): 2:24am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Blu03: If a man cannot create a balance in his home, is scared of correcting his people's mess ups, and loves them too much to the extent that he cannot nip their excesses in the bud, then he should please save his wife the trauma of having them around for long because they would do, overdo and undo and the man may not be able to put them in check. In most cases, these men expect the wives to correct them and when such attempt is made, the wife is brandished foul names and tagged a bad wife. In the same vein, if a man loves his wife too much that he cannot control her excesses, then he should likewise save his people the trauma of coming to his house because the wife would make life difficult for them. 3 Likes |
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