Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,686 members, 7,831,129 topics. Date: Friday, 17 May 2024 at 02:08 PM

I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. - Romance (12) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. (81456 Views)

My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! / Meet Paul Zuluka, Man Who Has Sex With Women For A Living In South Africa / How Torn Chicken Noodle Spice Nearly Ended My Relationship - Lady Shares Story (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) ... (20) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by madridsta007(m): 6:40pm On May 15, 2020
Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.


You need to go for Sorting Out.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Bahamas95(m): 6:40pm On May 15, 2020
I think say I get problem but my own dey learn work for where this OP dey.



OP you need help walai!.... Both psychological and spiritual help. For the spiritual side you better go your village go appease the gods.

Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by SirMichael1: 6:40pm On May 15, 2020
Well save for the 7th paragraph, this reminds me of someone I don't wish to remember.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Nobody: 6:41pm On May 15, 2020
BusterG:
It a disorder you have bro.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

Just like Judas, some people are destined to be destroyed by their own self sooner or later. You are one of such.

Don’t stress yourself looking for advice.

It’s your destiny.
Lol, you are crazy
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 6:41pm On May 15, 2020
DeckXavier:
you're a fatalist?? Personalities evolve man, you just have to put in a lot of work.
I'm a living testimony to that POSitive evolvement
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by luvethsam(f): 6:41pm On May 15, 2020
Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.
All these traits are that of a SOCIOPATH. Simple.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Divay22(f): 6:41pm On May 15, 2020
Angelfrost:
Another E.L. James' Christian Grey character (You should read all her books on Christian Grey, starting with Fifty Shades of Grey, if you haven't)...

You probably have an unhealthy domineering personality bordering slightly on the psychotic... You should take serious steps in addressing this, before you truly hurt someone or yourself.
Telling him to watch the movie or read the book would give him more ideas of what he would likely do to ladies.

He might even want to get his own RRP
He'll sure meet his Ana some day.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by WriterX(m): 6:42pm On May 15, 2020
martyns303:
You may want to see psychologist, for someone who doesn’t feel empathy or the pains of others is capable of unimaginable things including murder.


It's clearly psychological and the kind of people we call sociopaths ,majority of the problem stems from childhood , a major event, an incident, an occurrence, a tragic happening something triggers this response ASAP to be exact his sociopathic tendency may be triggered in a wrong way and may result to very unpredictable consequences for the victim.

He needs a psychologist to evaluate him
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Nobody: 6:42pm On May 15, 2020
teemswest:
I stopped reading when the story became self contradictory
This just proved it
how? Everything isn't mutually exclusive.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Babyforever(f): 6:44pm On May 15, 2020
Allaboutkatiee:


Such an interesting piece
I only read about stuffs like this in books.
I like my man to be possessive with me,dominating.
My ex made me this way. cry
I must tell you i like my man that way but he shouldn't hurt me but he should be all over me cool
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Bebson007(m): 6:44pm On May 15, 2020
I use to be like you. In fact my friends use to think i wil never marry. The truth is u hav not find the person you love , if u give her the platform where she might wanna lay her life for you then all those will stop. People like you whn u are in love, people wil be looking at u lik u are not normal.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Nobody: 6:44pm On May 15, 2020
Brightgem:
cheesy YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BAD.... cheesy cheesy cheesy
lol, tell me it isn't.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Bigblessed: 6:45pm On May 15, 2020
One might begin to think that you were severely jilted by people and later killed by woman in your previous world.

Deliverance is the answer via Jesus Christ.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by ObafemiAwoIowo: 6:45pm On May 15, 2020
Staphylococcus:


Find a job.

You are too idle.
find him job na

mynd44 lalasticlala seun
rule 2
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by apexc7790: 6:47pm On May 15, 2020
[color=#] 1543954[/color]
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Eniolakiite(f): 6:48pm On May 15, 2020
To where ?


Volkswagen90:
can i ask u out?
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 6:49pm On May 15, 2020
TSBO:


I think you have a point. For me, I have noticed I hate being head over heels or having a crazy crush.. You know, butterflies and all. I just detest the feeling; I don't want anyone to have that kind of influence on my emotions. I typically never really approach any lady that makes me feel that way, or I just fight the feeling till it subsides (except in one case, which was years ago as a teenager).
I think you look like the Guy I'm Dating. He pushes me away because I'm all lOvey Dovey
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Balance5432: 6:49pm On May 15, 2020
see below
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Staphylococcus: 6:50pm On May 15, 2020
ObafemiAwoIowo:
find him job na

mynd44 lalasticlala seun
rule 2


Are you learned?

Cos its glaring you find it hard to decode information`s.

Whats your highest level of education?
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by sholay2011(m): 6:51pm On May 15, 2020
PrimadonnaO:
You are Narcissus himself! Plus a lot of other weird mix. undecided

I don’t even know what to say. You need Jesus... and the transformation of the Holy Spirit.

All of these traits are far from healthy.
This.

@OP...YOU NEED JESUS CHRIST. And I am not saying this as a form of courtesy. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour and pray that the Holy Spirit TRANSFORMS you and REPLACES that heart of stone with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

1 Like

Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Angelfrost(m): 6:52pm On May 15, 2020
Monfeels:


I'm not psychotic.

Never said you were sir... I said your character trait is not far off the mark.

Psychosis can be gradual, and result fully from unchecked or uncontrolled emotional attachments!!!... The latter is where are currently.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by XhosaNostra(f): 6:52pm On May 15, 2020
MOnkeyBabe:
Hei. XhOSA. You are too muCh. The last part got me. It May be me and a Guy CuRRently . "There'll be a lot of vacillation btw enmeshment and suffocation", please further expantiate dear if you don't mind. With my Guy, I just remember Stations Of the CROss. Maybe it's because his name is Chukwu. He has done many mean and evil things to me, like telling people im begging to Sleep with him, calling another girl his wife in front of me, pays full attention to her and totally neglects me in her presence etc. This has been going for 3 months. Can never fall out of love for him. And it's not like I can't get anything better.
Please ReaD my thread on ROmanCeland. Some serious Shit going on. I met him few days after I became BoRnAGain. FoR Real, I underwent transformation in Soul. Started to love and forgive others. FoRGiveness is something I couldn't do my entire life. Became the best of myself. Got RiD Of Unnecessary AnGRy.
You're among the SmARtest females on here. I ADmiRe you so much. God Bless you. smiley


It's the typical hot & cold behaviour, nothing exotic lol. All over you one moment & distant for seemingly no reason the next. Sometimes they don't even know why they do it themselves & won't stop until you decide to get off the crazy train. Eventually, it'll drain the life out of you. Run for your life from someone like that for your peace of mind. It's an unhealthy cycle that'll send you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, thus making you just just like them in a sense. Yours also sounds outright disrespectful in his madness. You'll be better off without such a callous prìck.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by XhosaNostra(f): 6:52pm On May 15, 2020
olyrayy:


I think there was while back you said something about being INTJ. I'm not so sure... Was that you?


Yeah. Are you one too?
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 6:55pm On May 15, 2020
Votukpa:


You sir are a reptilian sociopath.

You might not even know it.

Advice: You need to transform into a human being first and receive the love of Christ.

Good luck.
ehw. ChimO! So sweet. The Answer to all things smiley Seek his face
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Liposure: 6:55pm On May 15, 2020
What is going on here narci this, narci that. Una wan wound person ni
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by KBdownloads(m): 6:56pm On May 15, 2020
you're a f*ck boy
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Biggest80: 6:57pm On May 15, 2020
Op this might come from pass hurt you face.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Liposure: 6:58pm On May 15, 2020
MOnkeyBabe:
ehw. ChimO! So sweet. The Answer to all things smiley Seek his face
which one be reptilian sociopath
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 7:00pm On May 15, 2020
XhosaNostra:



It's the typical hot & cold behaviour, nothing exotic lol. All over you one moment & distant for seemingly no reason the next. Sometimes they don't even know why they do it themselves & won't stop until you decide to get off the crazy train. Eventually, it'll drain the life out of you. Run for your life from someone like that for your peace of mind. It's an unhealthy cycle that'll send you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, thus making you just just like them in a sense.
This one has avoided me but he's the first man I've been able to love UnconDitionally. There is a SPiRitual connection with his name. That is what may have been keeping me. After believing or praying to God, the task of trying to change him as DiffiCult as it seems, makes my life whole. Should be he's my purpose Of CReatiOn. People would say I'm nuts. But I know there are no mistakes this Time BeCause I'm woRkinG with the SPiRit of God.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by Nobody: 7:01pm On May 15, 2020
Me too
Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by MOnkeyBabe(f): 7:01pm On May 15, 2020
Liposure:
which one be reptilian sociopath
they mean RePtiles are very wiCkeD
Re: I Have A Serious Problem Concerning My Relationship With Women. by IbrahimSkiba(f): 7:02pm On May 15, 2020
Monfeels:


Second quote from you.

You seem obsessed with me already.

You know if you met me in person you'd think I was the nicest, sweetest guy you've ever met. Plus I'm good looking and very intelligent with a nice accent and great vocabulary. I'd sweep out off your feet girl

(1) (2) (3) ... (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) ... (20) (Reply)

Nigerian Sex Workers Move Online To Ply Their Trade / Man Dies In His Room At Kubwa, FCT After Fun With 2 Prostitutes At Night (Photo) / Young Black Guy Rocks His Heavily Pregnant Oyinbo Lover

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 89
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.