Vulcan24:
it actually applies to some categories of marriage but not all.

from my own experience

I actually was an all provider guy from day 1 of my marriage, so in my down time and wife was ahead, it is now on her to watch what she does to me and arround d house.

in short she took to doing things the way I use to stock the house, diff is her pay might not allow it fully.

But in all, I think a man should lay that foundation , once the foundation is there ... if u fall later, I don't think your woman will go haywire on you unless she's gunning for divorce or separation

marriage is tough but I believe a man should remain tough all through marriage these times.

I love ur reality as it is similar to mine!! Everything a family needs for a comfortable living was provided from the get go!! Landed properties, buildings, shops etc Now due to old age, I am 'broke' no cash but assets and my wife is now working!! All above conditions by the Ops are outrightly sexist and demeaning!! Broke my big phat ass!! Why should a woman diss her husband because he is jobless?? No body is happy being jobless but living off a husband's assets and disrespectful because you have cash is deliberate disrespectful!! The guidelines are really disguised slavery!!!

Deoboss:


Good wife is as scarce as you can imagine

Excellent nems! scarcity of good wives means that they actually exist.

Deoboss:


A man can feed, cloth, make financial sacrifices & provide for his wife for 20yrs & there will be peace, no internal quarrels & there be joy in the home.

But a wife can’t do the same for her husband for just 2months if the table where turned & there will be much insults, disgrace, ridicule, humiliation, no sex, very limited feeding etc.

In some countries a man looses half of his wealth, cash & assets to his wife in the case of divorce even if the wife only brought her clothings & personal effects into the marriage from day 1. The husband is even thrown out of his own house he bought with his hard earned money as he forfeits it to his wife.

It’s really a woman’s world but some people that are still living in ancient times still think it’s a man’s world which is 100% false

in those 20 years the man was doing his responsibility there was balance. Everyone was doing their assigned duty. But when the man stops providing ,the balance is distorted and more burden falls on the wife.


A wife has to not only do her duty but also do the man's own as well. The least he can do is not give her a hard time .


In a normal balance all a man does is go to work come back and lift his legs up to watch news but now you can't expect the woman to do all her duty and still feed you ontop while you continue to lift your legs up to watch news. If you can't be the head (which involves providing) then embrace your role as a house husband.

Most men think being house wives is a lazy job,well since you can't provide as a man ,then take up the lazy job of being a house husband ,it's that simple.


Infact these days women work and still do their duties while all the men do is work and come home to lift their legs up,you don't see women complain even though they are subjected to the same work pressure as their husbands,only to be a house husband to atleast ease the stress from madam,you hear these men whining and nagging like babies of how their penis will get smaller when they become house husbands.

BlissB:
and that woman should be your friend....more reason you shouldn't marry because she is very pretty you con forget the friendship part...... Perilous times will definitely come and that love and friendship will guide the both of you in those times.

Exactly. A lot of guys are just only after how a lady looks.

So You too " Watch how do they do it"

NLPsychologist:
This post is only going to make it harder for women to be married.

But why is it that when women 'head' the home things get this messy?

Not always. There are many homes out there where the woman is the breadwinner and yet still respects the husband.

SweetCunt97:
Funny. Most women get irritated when a man has nothing doing.

Not most, all women get irritated & irrational once her husband looses his job or is broke

flokii:
Nawa o.. all because the woman is the breadwinner.

What of guys that work and do everything for their women and still treat them with respect.

But women do all these and more for a man who is the breadwinner.
They actually do a lot more.

executive12:


Not always. There are many homes out there where the woman is the breadwinner and yet still respects the husband.

Very rare, the men are very un-comfortable to the core

Millenniumlady:
They're the luckiest people on earth

Really? Lucky for being around a liability?

Very good work...comically its d way to go...

NLPsychologist:
This post is only going to make it harder for women to be married.

But why is it that when women 'head' the home things get this messy?

What is messy in the post?
Please, kindly point out one messy thing in there when a woman 'heads' the home.
This is a really genuine question that I want to understand from OPs post.
Look at no 5 for example. Why should any responsible working man (married or single) come home drunk, talkmore of a jobless man?
Look at another point asking the man not to keep password on his devices. In normal circumstances, nobody should password their phones from spouses. Even if you don't want the children to access your phone, your spouse can have your password unless there's an issue with trust (not even necessarily fidelity issues)

More like a thread for lazy fuckboys.

Millenniumlady:
Only a woman that can't take care of herself well get worn out due to child birth.......As for someone like me oooo when I get married if i'm pregnant I'll start saving for surgery to lose all the fat I've gained and to pop my boobs while they will conduct fat transfer towards my hips to keep me going.......I can't marry a jobless man in the first place before I'll accept a man for marriage I'll have to look if what's within him can sustain the marriage for ten years that includes vacations and other expenses like my surgeries.

Hope u won't remain single for life with all ur fantancy.

You forgot to write something.
Those times you are playing mr nice husband is the time she will lose appeal for you and began to sleep around. Acting Nice and slavish before wife because you lost your job is an insult to your manhood and a worst insult before the sight of God.

Why could you not save money during your working days? God forbid I try those rubbish you write there, the Time you lost your job is the time to bring out the beast and monster in you. Keep fighting, keep searching and also stamp firm your authority in the house, if she go away then fine but I assure in a short time you will have the last laugh and regain all what you lost.

LIFE IS NOT FOR THE WEAK.

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

So hilarious but true. May God provide good jobs for all men so they can provide n always be in charge of d affairs in their homes with or without d support of their wives because lack of job n money can destroy a man's ego in his home no matter how much his wife makes him to think less. He will always feel sad

ibkayee:
Lol no mention of actually looking for a job? Or maybe I missed it

you did not read in between the line actually...

Op, u try.
U held me spellbound with this feature.
I will have it handy for someone someday.

executive12:


Really? Lucky for being around a liability?

So long the liability is worth it they're not complaining

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Has she read this? I repeat has your wife read this to see what she made her best friend go through?

Nevertheless she tried. She brought out the best in you and your attitude is indeed very commendable. Keep it up friend.

bukatyne:
How would the man actually work on getting another job if he is avoiding egg shells in the home?

If you both are one, you will navigate the challenge of the man's lack of employment together.

na so who na dey talk abeg, navigate ko.

If you start giving the man fire fire now , you won't remember navigate .

Even your parents complain like mad when they are feeding u not to talk of another person pikin. Leave that thing

Chai, That is all I can say for now

BrownLondon:

Would you rather look for a new job or be a slave? Even if it's labourer

Remember you were once the provider?

lolz, u talking to a female. She's a girl

God Bless My Wife.

I have an Uncle who is 61 years old. He has been married for 37 years and out of those years, he has only worked for 7 years out of that 30.

His wife is the breadwinner. Till today, I always ask her, why did she stay with such a lazy buffoon? She says that she used Black Magic to marry him and the herbalist told her that because she will be rich that she should not worry about him working.

She's always complaining about his laziness but the man hit the jackpot.

Na to wake up, knack madam for bed, and just chill all the days of his life.

BlissB:
and that woman should be your friend....more reason you shouldn't marry because she is very pretty you con forget the friendship part...... Perilous times will definitely come and that love and friendship will guide the both of you in those times.

yeah,always best to marry your friend!

bukatyne:
How would the man actually work on getting another job if he is avoiding egg shells in the home?

If you both are one, you will navigate the challenge of the man's lack of employment together.

u dont understand. Most of the decent ladies you know will change to something else if the barton of the breadwinner of the family should fall on their laps. Its ego that leads to this by the way

.

Do u know you can actually make money with this write up....I mean write a book....think about it...

Tough

I'm currently in this scenario... I just say, I can relate with most of what OP has written