you know wetin this tola dey find? reason to wack nick.
see we're not saying you shouldn't be prone to temptations- if you see me you'll even have an orgasm without us brushing any thig.
all i'm saying is keep your immoral act to your self because you and i know say you go dey wack nick even after your husband show for yankee, and if you're not careful one or two of your friends that'll notice what's happening now will wack your husband when he shows up.

@Poster,
Please listen to me, if you do, you'd be fine. The greatest battlefield in the world is not in Iraq, Afghanistan or our own troubled Niger Delta, it is in who you see each time you gaze at the mirror. Wars are won or lost in the mind. The truth is your subconscious wants to do it but your conscious mind frowns at it and for a while both are at loggerheads. You know the right thing to do and so I want to tell you the way out based on my own experience. 1. Tell that guy (Dick or Nick) about your husband. Whenever he approaches you, let him always see your love for your husband. If he is a real man, he should respect you and back off . If he still says things like "you are sexy, etc." then you know he is not a real man and now you have a reason to hate him. 2. Put your husband's picture as your desktop background, your screensaver both on your phone and computer, put one of his pictures at a conspicuous position on your work desk. Give out the message that you are married and you love being so. 3. Call your husband and chat with him very very frequently. But please don't tell him yet about this Old Nick. 4. Reduce to the barest minimum any physical and non-physical contact with this man intent on destroying your life, marriage, history and womanhood. Don't go to his house or invite him to yours. Keep your relationship strictly official. Find reasons to hate him and amplify those reasons. You can do it, believe me. Above all never ever believe that you can't control yourself. That's what makes us different from animals. Between stimulus and response, man has the ability to choose. Then look at how history will record what you are doing now. would you want your daughter to hear you cheated on her dad? How would the people that attended your wedding ceremonies feel? Then I want to re-echo something people have said in response to you: IT IS A SMALL WORLD. You will be shocked to know that your husband knows this guy or vice versa. Please don't be fooled.
PS: In case you have fallen already,, stop. The one thing worse than being wrong is staying wrong. so help you God.

@ Tola
do you wish us to make a choice 4 you would follow.
heres an advise
try it out with your colleague, if you enjoy it more than yourweak husband go 4 it

ogbdcm:

@ Tola
do you wish us to make a choice 4 you would follow.
heres an advise
try it out with your colleague, if you enjoy it more than yourweak husband go 4 it

You are mean oh , is that a wish

i dont c it as an issue to brought up here.
shes not mature enough to have a boy friend not to talk of husbsnd

O.k , he came around to my desk, but I pretended I was so busy with my work, I ignored his strong cologne and made myself believe the smell made me sick ! Thank God, so far today the devil lost the battle . Thanks everyone for the wonderful contributions, you SHALL not fall into temptation,,,,,, I 'd talk more about my husband now, I think this will definitely work and even call him in nick's presence.

@Tola77
Way to go sweetheart ! Good choice, talk to Dick ( sorry, Nick) about your husband. He should respect your marital status if he is a real man !

Long distance relationship is never easy ! So many temptation.

@tola what if ur just mis interpreting this guy and holding up stupid imaginations in ur fish brains

Don't mind the babe jo!  After leading us this far!

@Tola77 
Only to say "the devil lost the battle"?  Tell us the truth and stop wasting our time!  All those your tears were not for nothing! Who told you I was a lady anyway?  I beg tell Nick we say hi oh!

@ poster
the best way 2 avoid this sort of problem is not to be far away from ur man in the first place. who knows what ur man is up to over here anyway. loneliness can easily lead to infidelity, so try and unite with ur man soonest.personally i do not subscribe to these across-the-ocean marriages

This one wey him skin brush you so,make you nor go do skin to skin oh,remember say aids fit come out,u fit get belle and u go born oyibo pikin,when you and ur husband na black,abeg try close ur legs oh,if your kini scratch you,make you scract am back before nick abi na dick do u skin to skin.

@Tola
Thank God, so far today the devil lost the battle .

To me this is really weird, what temptation is Tola talking about here? who is tempting who? Maybe Tola is not just sincere with us,,,perhaps she has fallen and only cming to hear our opinion, how wld she have flet if every one said, there is nothing bad at all, that means she wld av gone ahead with nICK, and his dick, to me oo its cry afetr action, TOLA TELL U THE TRUTH,

Tola i appplaud you for that if its true

no matter what we say i bet my 10dollars u are gono sleep with nick,so am going to save myself d stress of typing

Somehow I think this thread is just a joke and she may not be serious, just wanting to get conversation going, but if you are, there are some key questions I must ask.

1:  Why did you get married in the first place if you knew you were not ready for the challenges that lie ahead. And believe me they are heavy challenges in marriage.

2: This is just as important as the first question. Why are you and your husband apart? Is this for lifestyle reasons? if it is believe me you might live to regret it.

You have to go back and really think why you got married in the 1st place. If for you marriage represents boyfriend/girlfriend, like I am inclined to believe, then you really wont have a problem doing what you are almost certain to do, but I must remind you that comitment even in boyfriend/girlfriend means a lot.

Now if you have genuinely come here to seek help (which isnt bad, but I think you should have Contacted God first and let the spirit guide you), I would say start seriously considering building hedges. By that I mean you would have to take drastic measures including quitting your Job, and possibly moving back to Nigeria. Might sound hash, but that might be necessary to save your marriage. betrayal I must one you is never forgotten, it is one of the few reasons that God permits divorce. Please be careful. One nite of pleasure is not worth losing your marriage for. The consequence that follows is not worth all the trouble. You would forever be labelled an adultress.

lololololol, u have already started cheating. And what happens tomorrow if u meet someone else that u find attractive, u cant keep jumping from one persont to the other. so put those stupid feelings aside, i know a lot of guys i find attractive and i know feel the same but i dont ever think or try and put extra efforts into impressing them.

and they said cheating is a man thing.

if not that I have been through this I would have abused you or said something stupid. but I have just passed through this. I am not a hypocrite. I am a genuine christian and I have just come out of similar situation . I tell you it took only the grace of God and personal will. First I must admit you are a good person, you are brave to speak up. most women who are cheats never speak up. they go tochurch wearing suit, no body would know that all this exists. coz people are pretenders. but I always say who is worst. he who is a cheat and acts like he is not one or he who is about to cheat , who admits he gat feelings but through wise counsel makes a swift decision. I shall come and answer you later I have to go and pray just hang in there honey.

first of all I am extremely dissapointed by the way people handle this issues on nairaland, in church, and in the world at large. It makes me sad to see people cursing innocent people . you know what honey  , I would not tell you adultery is a sin because u don't need that irrelevant advice. I would not tell you  to quit the job , because another Nick shall arise elsewhere. I would not say this post is fake , I would give you the benefit of a doubt.
But I would advice you to look inward . you must have obviously struggled with this feelings before u boldly as a mature adult faced reality . perhaps you are in love with Nick, you feel the butterflys etc. but you know what, It is normal to fall in love. the fact you are married does not put an autmatic stop to the flow of  blood. but here's the deal I believe you know the difference between right and wrong. in  this case the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. you got to overcome the flesh o. for real. see I say The Lords prayer everyday. "Lead us not into temptation ". you know feelings would always arise but lets be careful to control our thought process, and not act on it o. YOu have a consience . I believe your consicene is very important to you. for the sake of a good conscience, reprogram your mind . yes you can do it. keep saying "I can overcome this". " ok I am married, I can work with attractive young men and keep it official. I don't want to betray my husband, what if some other women do this to me". NIck is handsome but this is wrong.

second advice is try to stay away from Nick as much as possible. It is difficult but it is possible. Also call you husband. even though u did not mention loneliness in your post. just call your husband more often. discuss with him matters of the heart.
think about the  consequences of blackening your consience. some people may feel a sudden dryness and emtiness inside . they may  not really enjoy tapping into the relationship simply because they know this is wrong. and also what if it doesn't work. you would would have to contend with your consience probably for the rest of your life, oneday u may need to confess to hubby , and then the marriage can never be the same again.
Like I said earlier , do not not  listen to anyone who says you are ashewo, jezebel etc, because u are not . this is a real issue of the heart , but u must overcome. I would leave u with this word of God to Cain.
"sin is crouching at your door but u must overcome it".
Yes u must. don't act on it. try not to meditate on Nick. remember thoughts become words and words bcom actions. abeg o. ok  I shall add u in my prayers 4 strength. God bless. !!!!!!!!!!

@VIRGIN20   GOD BLEEEEEEEEEEEESS YOU ! THE ANGELS OF GOD SHALL NEVER DEPART FROM YOU !

You have put a GENUINE smile and tears of joy into my eyes today!   what other advice could I need ? Thanks for your prayers, Thanks for this reply, Thanks for understanding my ordeal, Thanks for believing that I DEFINITELY HAVEN'T DONE IT and do not wish to ,,,,, what A RELIEF, Yes I have thought about this too, that what if I am able to conquer this and I meet another 'Nick' elsewhere ? how would I handle the situation ? but now I know that sometimes in life if you are able to conquer a situation you would definitely be ARMED if it arises again.

Nobody in here cared to ask how long I dated my husband ?, Nairalanders BULLIES did not care to ask, if I have ever felt this way towards anyone else before,,,, they were only concerned about the Marriage term, I dated him for 6 years got engaged and registry, then after a year did the church wedding, so altogether I have been with him for 8 years without this STRANGE OCCURRENCE.

Even though at a stage I regretted coming to share this at this forum, I can say to the Glory of you wise VIRGIN20 and Ultimately God, it was actually worth it !

I have also been able to think back to know how often I feel this way and I discovered that it is worse immediately after my period ! which I now know is the stage when I am at my Hot PEAK while some girls say they get MOODY , I feel Hot and quite weak but mind you, not VULNERABLE _{so now I know when to stay away generally} !

To you HYPOCRITIC ladies out there, Could you swear you have never experienced this before ? the fact that you decided to keep it within yourself does not make you a SAINT or different from me ! and if not, you will surely do at a point in your life WRITE THIS DOWN ! anywayz this topic would always be there for you to learn how to handle the situation

and to the MALE CRITICS calling me names ,,,,, what do you understand about a womans hormones and minds anywayz   ? well you never know,,, your so called ANGELIC INNOCENT PURE 'hearthrob' may be experiencing this SECRETLY too at the moment ! Just pray she doesn't fall for her own 'NICK' or 'DICK' (your word) ,,,,, and that is if she has n't FALLEN already though !  

I am so happy you have grown strong. So happy for you. Please keep it up. The one thing better than being right is staying right!

@Tola77
Good job Tola, i'm so glad to see that you are holding your ground. But please becareful because the devil does not relent in his efforts. Just because you dated your husband for 8 years doesn't bother the devil, I dated mine for 10 years and she still cheated on me. Please stay strong and wait for your husband. Good things come to those who wait !

this post is good. it happens to me after my period too. u are not alone gurl

YOu are welcome Tolly. all praise to God. when I passed through my ordeal, I cried, I was dissappointed in self , but thruough God's strength I overcame . if the only reason I passed through that is to encourage one person then it was worth it. you know sometimes certain things happen for a reason, to teach us lessons, to enable us to refrain from judging others.
today as I am , I cannot judge even an ashewo, she shall definately bear her consequences though, but you know what who knows what she has been through as a person. some of us would be dead if we went through the unfortunate circumstances some of these "ashewos" have gone through seriously. so whatever we are is just by God's grace u know. ain't no body that's perfect. I just wish people would stop judging others, so that they can genuinely seek help and get it. lets stop acting like stuff doesn't exist. we are not angels. anyways thanks for explaining more in details. stay strong girl . remember its a fight. "fight the good fight of faith". I do not pray for that to happen again, but the feelings have been laid to rest or so I assume . they may come back o, but just always program ur mind from when u leave home that you shall handle stuff maturely.
Stay blessed.
Peace.

@Gracious
What's up with all this talk about period ?? Please keep the blood thing between you and your gynacologist !! No spoil my day oh !

Sweet T:

@Gracious
What's up with all this talk about period ?? Please keep the blood thing between you and your gynacologist !! No spoil my day oh !

LOL

@ MILITIA

OR whatever u call urself,u just feel u r d oly persdon that knows how 2 poke ur nose into people's affairs when u have noting meaninful to say; Infact u r causing more havoc than what is on ground;
advise simple as ABC; all u do is to bring down the ceiling with ur nauseating words.Well i guess u r enjoying urself,i tink u will b good 4 comedy.

@ tola77
well taking a cue from what my dear friend MILITIA is trying to say;
u rilly know what is right but ur lustful heart and eyes will not be stopped from doing what she wants until u have a piece of the cake.
Well, no Man or angel send from Heaven can help u; u r d only person that will help urself.
Either u choose one:
Do u want 2 Keep ur New Family or U want 2 live with a stigma of having sex outside ur marriage or u want 2 divorce ur new husband and hook up with ur new found love which might never marry u. Choose One.

Ciao,

Tola,

Good to see that your head is now clear, and hopefully you will stick to your decision. You must not underestimate your current sitiuation, that is being so far away from your Husband. I do not advocate it and will never support it.

This issue was once discussed somewhat on premier radio in the UK. The preacher who was dealing on the issue did point out that most people tho married might get tempted in this way, but at the end of the day it is how you deal with it. He said that he knows that there is a possibility that he might start getting attracted to a single beautiful lady if he is left in her company alone, so what he does it build hedges around himself, that is he is never in a situation where he is ever left with a woman on his own.

I say this cos I have recently had the experience of being away from my better half for almost 1yr, and it was a great struggle. Temptations were flying about, and I knew that it was not God's plan for me to be that far from my family. So I made swift plans to be reunited. There used to be this saying in mens circles that it is when you are married that you begin to start seeing all the fine single girls and begin to get all sorts of proposition. I believe this must be same for women.

The fact is that your period will come and go, and everytime that happens you are faced with this sort of temptation. Please seriously consider why u are apart from your husband and reunite quickly. separations have funny effects on relationships.

God bless

Nne just avoid the guy n rest, hmmm n you talk say im skin brush you dat one no mean say mk u fall, cis i no dey ooo

You are the one starting and walking into this affair headlong and not the guy troubling you. So the only advise I have for you is to advise yourself whether to continue or retrace your steps. Of course, you know that what you are about doing or doing is evil.

HI SWEETY, I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. I MUST TELL YOU THAT THIS A SERIOUS TEMPTATION FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF AND U'V GOT TO RUN. I DO NOT KNW UR LIFESTYLE B4 U GOT MARRIED BUT I MUST ASSUME YOU HAD SEX WITH UR HUSBAND B4 MARRIAGE. IF IT IS SO, THEN ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR YOU WITH UR HUSBAND SO FAR AWAY EVEN THOSE WHO WAITED TILL MARRIAGE GO THRU THINGS LIKE THIS ,, ITS JUST THAT IT EASIER FOR THEM TO FIGHT IT COZ THEY R USED TO BEING DISCIPLINED. YOU R A MARRIED WOMAN AND U KNW WAT IT MEANS TO BE CUDDLED AND LOVED, ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR U TO STAY WITHOUT THAT FOR A LONG TIME. I THIMK THTS Y U R SO VUNERABLE TO THE GUY AND GIRL IF U DO NOT WATCH IT, HMMM, U KNW WAT I MEAN. I WILL ADVISE STRONGLY THAT IF U CAN , GET A NEW JOB AND LEAVE THE PLACE, COZ D BIBLE SAYS FLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!, NOT STAY AND FIGHT IT, U CANT COZ THE DEVIL IS WORKING ON YOUR NEED FOR YOUR HUSBAND AND THAT IS THE TRUTH. U V NOT SINNED AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED,, U R ONLY HUMAN AND I BELIEVE U LOVE UR HUSBAND, ALL THOSE JUDGING YOU FORGET THAT THOSE WHO FALL DO DNOT PLAN TO. V NOT HAD SEX YET, EVEN WITH THAT I PROTECT MYSELF FROM MEN COZ I DO NOT TRUST MY FLESH, U KNW Y? IT IS CREATED TO RESPOND TO CARESSES and stuffs, YES THAT IS REALITY. I TRUST GOD THO AND HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME EVEN WEN I CANT HELP IT, HE DOES. SO GIRL, RUN AS FAR AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU. YOU R BLESESD. IF U WANNA TALK MORE, HERE'S MY MAIL ADD: jeskemy@yahoo.com
ADMIT IT GIRL, U R MISSING YOUR HUSBAND.