FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.


Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

My parents were strict too, but i did not do any of the nonsense you said you did. Stop using your parents' strictness to justify your bad behaviour.

Have u ever noticed that children who are always locked up indoors, (by this i mean from school to home, home to church, not associating with other children in the compound) such children when they have the slightest opportunity to play outside the house, they play like there is no tomorrow. If u have ever seen a dog that broke loose from its chain u would understand what i mean lol. No kid sets out to join bad gang, there will always be peer pressure, it is left to the parents to know who their children hang out with, the type of parents they have. It is not enough to tell a child not to go out, not to associate with some certain people without letting the child know the reason why... Parents get close to your kids, make them your friend, so that the child will be free with you and can confide in you. That way you will learn a lot about the habbits they pick up from friends and the society, cos trust me they pick up a lot.

emmabest2000:
Ajo nwa si owerri baa Nne ya na afo

I no say your mama call you that name tire

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Na...dont put this on your dad aunty. You alone chose the path you followed. You had choices...you took the wrong ones. Wasiu sang a song which when translated means, my parent gave birth to me well, with good training, I in turn reinforced the train, hence the good name I have that keeps growing....The choices you made were all your doings not your parents. Hope you find peace with yourself.

Been strict with ur children or ur parents doing same to u wouldn't change anything,a spoilt brat will still be a spoilt brat. It's all about the mind set doing good or bad.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

#Truth

You just chose to be a bad child. That is what ur father saw in you that made him put extra effort in correcting you. Unfortunately, u still turn out to be bad egg & still blame it on him. The fact dat u could blame him for being a bad girl u are despite his effort shows that u are prodigal girl. But look, if u turn out to be bad it is for yourself. He has played his part in your life. Soon, u will become a mother, u can chose one of those bad boys u used to hangout with as ur husband and raise your own children in a marlian way. Omolabi, igbolari.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Young lady, the life you lived at school was what you had inside. It was the life you yawned for. The problem was that your dad didn't give you the opportunity to live that kind of life in his house. As a university student , You are deemed mature to know what's both good and bad. You only choose the bad one , you've known the good life and live in for long but out of pretence. Your uni days was a time to explore all your wish.You were just like a bomb going somewhere to happen. University age, means you are mature not to blame anybody. Anything you do , you are responsible for your own action, not your dad. How can i smoke weed because I wanted to know if it's bad or not and later on, i blame my parents ? If you were a baby, i would blame your dad

MrBrownJay1:


IMHO you are only partly right as it has all to do with how you approach a child and make them understand why they shouldnt do something....instead of just locking them up and trying to shield them from the real world. thats the big issue here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent having certain rules that a child may not like, the important part is to make that child understand why such act aint right.

all kids will go through a rebellious period (some worse than others) but regardless, there are some things that i would NEVER accept a child to do, even in moderation... and its my duty as a parent to make that child understand that.

exactly. someone has to be the bad guy in order to get things done.
which is why kids love their mothers more. they don't know their father loves them which is why he does it.

Imagine a 13 year old girl putting on make-up and mini skirt in a street filled with older boys and men

rockstarB:
My parents are strict too. I never clubbed nor went partying, It still had to do with my upbringing.
I couldn't bring myself to do those things because of how I was raised, it has to do with you largely, even of they gave you the chance to explore, a child that wants to explore would do that regardless.
Exploration or open eyes dont have to do with clubbing, smoking, drugs and all sort. No parents in their right mind will encourage their kids to explore such path. There are better ways to explore and get the best out of life.

Well said.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

This is the first time I'm liking your post on this platform.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You were just bad, many others went through the same training your dad gave you and turned out not to be swayed by those things you mentioned above.
You should do a lot of introspecting rather than put the blame on your father's strictness.

After fucking yourself, tearing Your pussy and smoking your brain out,then what? Who will join you to have a family with loving kids? Animal.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

we in same Boat. Don't mind all these GRa GRA NIGeRians. Na their way

kazyhm:


You spoke my mind.........I can say its the mom that is even responsible for all that.......her actions portrayed her dad as been outright wicked......training a child with divided approaches is more dangerous.

True!
Their dissimilar approach confused the child!
She simply chose the easier and less strenuous one!

Exc2000:


pastors kids turn out badly because they no their parents are hypocrites that preach something on the pulpits and do the exact opposite at home

human beings eeh.. How many pastor kids? Pastor kids explore vices in school has nothing to do with parenting if a pastor have 5children 1 or 2 toll the left way.. Shows everyone has a way of adapting to life.. Something most of are not talking about environmental immediate and school.. A girl in uniben, uniport, unilag, uniabj has high tendencies of became morally corrupt to a girl in futminna, convenant university and redeemers. Material, unexposure and inferiority complex are what causes most campus vices. What was in the op mind was to have fun over grades.. Hangout with the boys in campus.

Take responsibility for your actions and don't go putting the blame on your parents who were only trying to do the right thing.

Your father did not force you to do those things. They were your choices and decisions.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

no offense but this is crap. my parents are strict and I'm not interested in partying or drinking. It's not cos I'm scared of them, I just don't like those stuff. you did those things cos you wanted to

I kind of understand where you're coming from. Not being given appropriate boundaries and having barely any real world experience leads to kids acting out when they finally get some freedom. I've seen it before.

Goodmorning2u:
One thing my chirstian parents failed to teach me was about sex education. They don't always want me with the opposite sex and never explain the reason to that. Growing up as a young girl with no moral training on sex life and partner from my Parents. No relationship discussion with my Parents till I grew old and got married.
I ended up with many broken relationships and sex partners.
That is one thing I will never ever hide from my unborn kids.

LOL...e get who dem teach sex education? Some of you just want to talk like people God did not give sense.

Nobody taught me sex education and I don't have any sex partner, nothing spoil.

There is an adage dat says sheep wey flock wit dog go chop shit.....dat is 2 sey d shit don dey hungry am to chop tey tey,com see opportunity......dats ur case.....rubbish

We are responsible for our actions not our parents. You can decide to live responsibly or otherwise regardless of flogging or not.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

This works for the seemingly good ones, which could be subjectively argued.

Basically children are visitors you have invited into your home. Some need better handling than others because humans are basically different and all these you put up here aren't the only things that come into play. Things can get so subjective that you'd think that you are referring to the same grade and manner of discipline.

How else would you explain why a so called problem child would experience a great turn around when he or she is exposed to an open mind tour guide ( that allows you non threatening doses of consequences of self made choice not imposed 100%)

Child wey wan spoil,go spoil.weda the father is strict or not

You embraced stupidity because you wanted to. Everyone has a choice and you made yours.
Can you make those excuses before God?

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

There is an adage dat says sheep wey flock wit dog go chop shit.....dat is 2 sey d shit don dey hungry am to chop tey tey,com see opportunity......dats ur case.....rubbish

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Omo Olója...

Awon omo parent tó strict féran oja

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Another wayward child

Blame youresef for your waywardness,stop blaming those innocent ppl abeg.

They gave you strict training u turned out worst,talkless of when they give you cool ones.

Child wey wan spoil go spoil ,go and sit down,
Child of the world.

FeliciaOja:

Ever wonder why pastor children turn out to be worse than their pastor parents?

People make choices that's why. The pastors also hail from home with different parents . Some hard very bad and strict parents, yet they turned out to become pastors. The problem you people have is that , you all expect pastors children to be the angels in heaven. Things don't work out that way. They are also human , undergoing training and at the age of accountability, they will finally make their choice to be whatever they like. How many of you turned out to be what you studied in school ? Very few

Pikin wen go bad go bad

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

You live life once dude as long as one knows where to draw the line.

Coming from a Christian home. I've seem first hand where fellow christians, use Christianity to Bleep you up.

Nothing wrong with turning up. After all when you warn your kids about the bad effects of things you know first hand.

Most nigerian parents haven't done shit and know nothing really