Queenyprinxex:
You were just a slutty junkie in the making, it has nothing to do with your Dad's strictness.
You aren't the only one who has been subjected to such strictness.

Easy sweetheart. u don vex.how r u

My brother if after the flogging and balanced home training from a strict dad and a counselling mother to balance it.. you still decided to smoke weed , drink beer and explore life.. pls dont blame it on your dad, it was your choice.
LIFE in the university is all about your choices in the end. The peer pressure and all are real. But what you choose is what you become.
Even if your dad had taught you how to smoke, chase women and build confidence in you from birth, my brother pikin wey want do extra go do am.

Prayers on your knees for your kids and continuous follow up is the only trusted weapon for parenting in this century. After blaming your parents remember you will have kids to tell you how far soon. they will mark your scripts too

MrBrownJay1:
it greatly has to do with the type of personality you possess...and most importantly, what interests you. many dont need to drink, party and do drugs etc to rebel against their parents authority. some will simply wear make up, dress in sexy manner, go to places that parents may not like or even listen to music they parent disagree with., to rebel... but at the end of the day, parents only want whats best for you.

you certainly doesnt need to DESTROY your health/life in the name of rebellion, thats stupid and only hurting yourself.

Your points are always on point

crackland:

Only someone who was/is not serious in school will type such a thing.

Seriousness kee you der

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Keep destroying your life and blaming it on your parents

Most of us have strict parents and attended high institutions, but we took the values we learned from home to school.

Some joined the fellowship and became active in church just to wave off some useless kids on campus.

Las las, all man 4 himself. Yes, everyone will answer for their idiocy and your parents won't be there to suffer the consequences and go through the pains with you.

Be guided

I think many of you are missing OP's point.

You all claim choice, so why didnt her parents strictness influence her choice??

I dont by any means downplay the place of discipline in raising the child, but it must be done for the right reasons.

For instance this:

Reckyd123:
if my dad was not very very strict on me to the point of trying to burn me alive, I would have died a criminal. Sister, you just wan spoil. Period!!

is NOT my idea of parenting (With all due respect)

Yeah, blame your dad instead of taking responsibility.

If your behaviour was inevitable because of how he treated you, then his was inevitable because of how his parents treated him...

And so it continues...until Adam.

So blame Adam, or God.

Don't take any responsibility at all.

Stay there and be looking for who to blame.

Whenever it rains that's when you will see no electricity supply anywhere in Nigeria.

Just dey watch now rain has come. They have full evidence of no electricity

Anu

One thing my Christian parents failed to teach me was about sex education. They don't always want me with the opposite sex and never explain the reason to that. Growing up as a young girl with no moral training on sex life and partner from my Parents. No relationship discussion with my Parents till I grew old and got married.
I ended up with many broken relationships and sex partners.
That is one thing I will never ever hide from my unborn kids.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

God bless you for this.. Only a few knows that life and the way you live it is a matter of choice.

The heart is desperately wicked

When i was a kid i always like story book

You kept bad company and unfolded your inherent immoral tendencies simple, nothing like dad was strict. Your mum encompassing nature should have prevented you but you were adamant and interested in dishing out your waywardness.

Every child can be bad or good, it got nothing to do with being a pastor's kid cox its an individual decission so it all lies on the individual to choose which part of life is best for him/her...

You just abused the freedom you had. Not everyone can handle freedom.
It's just you growing up.

FeliciaOja:

Ever wonder why pastor children turn out to be worse than their pastor parents?

Don't pay him any attention. Your case is similar to the two sons of my father's friend. I had always known that the so-called strict parenting can backfire terribly. When you impose a lot of ridiculously tough measures on children, especially when the children don't know why they should uphold such rules, they will abandon it once they get to university or away from their parents. The children will want to explore and taste the life (a life for which they are ignorant of the pros and cons) that their parents denied them. This is even more dangerous as the children will explore the trending and high life all alone without guidance, and in the company of friends that are not good for them.

The best way to discipline a child is not to impose a lot of ridiculous and unnecessary tough rules, but to ensure that they understand why they must embrace discipline in life. The most disciplined people in life are those who voluntarily embraced discipline instead of having it imposed on them especially when they don't see the need, and they don't like it. Don't get me wrong, parents must make reasonable rules, but they must be close to their children such that their children can confide in them about anything. Children who can confide anything in their parents hardly go amiss; this is where stone-cold, military styled parents are missing it.

The stone-cold, military styled parenting only makes children evolve into great pretenders and liars. They grow up not sincerely embracing the harsh rules but only abide whenever the parents are around. Parents must learn to sometimes see things from the new generation's perspective, and realise that some of the things they do are not necessary and would only oppress their children. Now that you have seen where you have gone astray in life, start making the best of your life (what's left of it) now because the world out there don't care if your parents failed you in a way, and as you can see from the comments, people will hold you responsible for how your life turns out. Progress, be stagnant, or retrogress; the ball is in your court.

Edit: the people blaming the OP is proof that most parenting in this part of the world is a bit dysfunctional. You can blame the OP all you want, but you must realise that the "default" mindsets of children in the OP's situation when getting away from their parents for the first time are naivety and the strain of oppressive rules. These mindsets make these children highly prone to taking the path that the OP took. OP isn't the first, and she won't be the last. If you like, make the same mistakes her parents made. You can't solve everything by just rules and beating.

You were just a bad child that's all.

You did all that you did not because of any strictness if your dad....you did them because you wanted to....

It's s choice thing at the end of the day it's your choice..

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

all dis post is just to justify your wrong doings in sch doesn’t count is what you choose to

LordKO:


Strict patents do train their offspring to exercise their liberty and live life within the confines of decorum.

While oppressive parents do train their offspring to live life within the confines of their self interest wishes, thereby denying them liberty and, by extension, makes them disingenuous.

Sooo on point. @ FeliciaOja ... after all.... your parents were not strict! Your case is nothing new.... is like being caged all your life and suddenly released into the world.... some become free but mind remained caged.... while some .... like you... become free and wouldn't know how to act! Good sharing.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Well said.

[center]
Shanghai Shenhua sporting director, Zhou Jun, has said[b] Odion Ighalo[/b] would be a perfect fit at Manchester United.
However, Jun admits the Red Devils might have been affected by the COVID-19 outbreak, making it hard to sign the Nigerian on a permanent basis.
Ighalo joined United on a six-month loan deal from Shanghai Shenhua in the January transfer window.[/center]

https://nonmonk..com/2020/05/shanghai-shenhua-raises-doubt-over.html

liar. your dad didnt flog you well

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Stop blaming others for your bad life choices.

Being strict did not make you do anything, you did all those things because you wanted to shalaye. Own your nonsense with your chest, and stop looking for who to put blame on.

Nonsense.

They already trained you by not wanting you with opposite sex. You can't tell me you didn't know about pregnancy and STDs. What else do u need from them?
Don't blame them for your many sexual partners. It is strictly your choice.

Goodmorning2u:
One thing my parents failed to teach me was about sex education. They don't always want me with the opposite sex and never explain the reason to that. Growing up as a young girl with no moral training on sex life and partner from my Parents. No relationship discussion with my Parents till I grew old and got married.
I ended up with many broken relationships and sex partners.

forget parenting, You choosed to be bad kawai, nothing like ur parents were strict, in this life there is no excuse for failure. weh b say God dee

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You were irresponsible. You destroyed your parent's trust. It is your life, not your parent's.

LordKO:
Don't mistake strict parents for oppressive parents - offspring of the former always turns out well, especially when the offspring isn't innately insane.

Strict parents do train their offspring to exercise their liberty and live life within the confines of decorum. While oppressive parents do train their offspring to live life within the confine of their self-interest and wishes, thereby denying them liberty and, by extension, makes them disingenuous.

Pseudo/wannabe libertarian parents, on the other hand, usually turn out to breed crass and expedient offspring, because in the cause of forming woke they allow their offspring to live life and exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum.

Strict parents are literally the true libertarians - strict parents are akin to conscientious parents.

bossman take it easy with your 'vocabs' nah....
You are absolutely right though!

Joke is on you if you think you were fooling your parents, come back in 30 years time and ask how far.

Las Las
Pikin wey go spoil go spoil.

It's not by gra gra

Reckyd123:
if my dad was not very very strict on me to the point of trying to burn me alive, I would have died a criminal. Sister, you just wan spoil. Period!!

I go like read the full gist. Copy me when you write the full tori

MrBrownJay1:


i guess a lot of them believe that by destroying themselves, they will indirectly destroy their parent (that care so much about them)... very sad.

but sadly, we also have some deluded parents that will use that same narrow minded way of thinking to educate their kids, and would (for example) burn a child's hand to warn him about staying away from fire. lol!

as harsh as it is,it works. kids don't think there are consequences to actions.
its a notion that has to be corrected not pampered in their adolescence to deter the rest of the kids.

someone has to be the bad guy in other to get things done. It may be harsh but necessary.
fathers are willing to be that bad guy, which is why kids say they love their mothers more
but they don't see what their father is doing for them.

when they grow much older like 35 to 40, then they'll become appreciative