Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

Brother you have done well bringing this here.
Don't you ever marry that Jezebel or Delilah
Pls don't look at beauty in marriage
That girl will betray you smartly when you are abroad or if anything goes berserk.
You will surely live long but sincerely I love your thoughts and wisdom.
I m giving u an elderly advice.
Run away from that girl stylishly

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh!!
You are lucky she spoke out

Don't get it twisted she only wants a distraction for your moms so she won't be interfering in your affair

My people are just wayward...like you are becoming a university graduate and you are still seeing a woman remarrying after her spouse passed as a taboo...or uncultured...

It is pitiful and absurd...and make me to wonder what is the difference people living in this culture knighted Africa and people living in Stone Age...

That your girl friend is very wise and has her brain intact...thanks to education...and whether you will marry her or not...doesn’t make a different but her advice is not bad...

It is by choice...if your mother choose to remarry fine...if she decide to stay single great...but there is nothing wrong with it...

The Bible said...two is better than one...you think about loneliness...economy hardship and other thing...which you at your age won’t understand...and you will surely appreciate the advice...is either you like the advice or dislike it but don’t make the bearer or paint her evil...

Thank you jare, don't mind the OP. His ex is lucky not to end up with him.

Bahamas95:
That girl should be thanking her stars she didn't get married to you. She is a woman so she understands how women feel better than you.


The fact that you are a man does not make you do anything you like and assume it's normal. My friend's uncle lost his wife and he got married to another woman 7months after. The surprising thing was that the lady he got married to lives in the same street with his uncle......If na woman do that one now dem go take mouth finish her.



WOMEN LIVES MATTER

apatheticme:


U're so refreshingly honest! A rare trait!

Men of nowadays are hypocrites! All the negativity and sociocultural burdens must be pushed to females, but for males anything they like they do.

May God help this generation.

true. Over sense dey worry the guy. I wonder why I didn't give him a like.
Quick check; I gave him a share

Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

The age the Bible considered for widows to be considered for welfare aka (not getting married again) is 60 years.

Your GF raised a valid point, does your mother have activities to keep her engaged?

It seems you both don't think on the same plane or maybe you haven't achieved the intimacy necessary to discuss certain topics.

The moment a spouse dies, the living partner is as free as a bird to re-marry if they wish.

Marriage vows is 'still death do us part.'

I hope you have such lofty ideals for when the husband is the widower.

Mvici:

people's tradition sometimes matters, am just talking about after 30yrs in marriage, already have a child....what next will she be looking for when her child can still give her ground children, people's body and soul are different anyway especially when the man she marry was the only person that has gone down with her and maybe tradition and religion and what people will say

Which religion or culture stops a widow from re-marrying if they desire?

I am only aware some cultures might have 'compulsory' mourning periods.

graciousolo:


This particular one needs serious orientation... He and the lots like him here. Their thought processes is painfully appalling.

too many of them in this forum. They need to emancipate themselves from their supremacist and egocentric mentality.

graciousolo:



"It is written that men are polygamous" this is your justification for choosing to remarry but, denying your spouse and widowed mother the opportunity to. Wherever that came from is evil.




It baffles me that our generation with all the information we are privy to and opportunities to unlearn and relearn still have myopic people even with tertiary degrees.
Don't you think your mom deserves companion and yes, even sex too especially if she wants it?


Don't you care about her happiness?

How does her getting remarried bother you? You still dey suck breast?

If you were a woman would you like to be subjugated just because of your gender?

Honestly, I think that girl is very lucky you are not together. She escaped a big narcissistic baby.

I would congratulate her if I knew her.

Seun, you need to consider kid's section in this forum.

I personally opened Facebook account for my mum 12 years after my father died so she can have a companion, for where? She kept turning down all the men, saying no man can be like her husband, so I let her be. But I really do wish she got another man in her life, so she won't be lonely, because we her children are always busy with work. So, nothing wrong with your girlfriend's suggestion

excanny:
We don't have women again o like our mothers. All these slay queens know now is money and sex.

No values whatsoever. Maybe not all tho.

What do you mean by the bold?

Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the

Thanks everyone.

Life is not that deep. Breathe in and out slowly and repeat after me, "life is not that deep "

I understand your feeling towards what your GF said about your mum remarrying. Note she isn't wrong about it but the point is that there are many factors to be considered. I see no reason why she should offer such an advice when she has not known for sure if your Mum is need of companion. Remarrying is not as easy as it sounds, especially for women, because they will have to leave their dead husband's house to that of the new husband. Your mum is the only one to decide if she wants to remarry. If she chooses to remarry kindly allow her.

Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

The bolded is a fact.

bukatyne:

What do you mean by the bold?

Correcto:
The bolded is a fact.

I asked the poster meaning of something, you said it is fact.

Did I dispute the 'correctness' or lack of?

In this instance, what does 'we don't have women like our mothers' mean since you want to answer on his behalf?

9047188731
Ivyhairline 
Fcmb 


Whoever owns that account scammed me. Ladies beware. I am still waiting for my wig since March9047188731
Ivyhairline 
Fcmb 


Whoever owns that account scammed me. Ladies beware. I am still waiting for my wig since March

His mother deserves companion when she needs one. Sometimes it is best to mind our business. She offered an innocent advice but could be sensitive to even the mother. The mother may wish for something else rather remarrying. Most women born in 70s and older, especially from the Eastern part of Nigeria don't like the idea of remarrying. I feel the GF should find out more how his mother lives when the son is in school, than giving a quick advice. Her advice should come when she is sure the mother is needing it.

Dreyton36:
And you're your finals?
You're very childish OP
She cares about her feelings that's why she brought up the suggestion
The least you could do is to thinking positively and not negatively
Grow up,
It's only someone who acts dirty that thinks dirty

Wait patiently the poster will answer you

bukatyne:


I asked the poster meaning of something, you said it is fact.

Did I dispute the 'correctness' or lack of?

In this instance, what does 'we don't have women like our mothers' mean since you want to answer on his behalf?

Marriage is not all about sex. Besides, marriage contract ends when one party is dead. Though it is sometimes not easy to remarry especially when the love bond was very strong between you and your late partner. The bottom line is that your mum needs a companion. 52 is not really an old age. Your girlfriend gave you the best advice. Five years is more than enough to mourn her late husband.

Oga, even marital vows are "Till death do us part"

If your Mom doesn't want to re-marry, that is absolutely fine. But there's nothing wrong with remarrying o. See ehn, adult life can be incredibly lonely for a single person. All your friends and siblings have their own jobs and families and nobody has time for anybody else. If you see your friends once a month, you are lucky sef.

Even you, OP, once you finish school, start working and start a family, you'll realize that you dont have as much time for your mum as you used to. There's nothing wrong with what your girl said. It actually shows she cares about your mum

Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

You should be thanking your God for giving you a girl that is open minded. Even though such practices are not common in our society. That doesn’t mean that your girl doesn’t care.

Your mom knew that you meant well for her.


Please your girlfriend didn’t do anything wrong.

the mum got married at 17,
the girl friend is right, for the mum to cry it means the words touched her, only that she has made some decisions, maybe

If your mother decides not to remarry that’s her choice to make. Your gf did nothing wrong by saying what she said. You’re just being dramatic.

You said you are giving elderly advise when you just showed us you lack wisdom, like is this what is in your head, you need to scrub your head, it's very filthy.

adetayoonas:






Brother you have done well bringing this here.
Don't you ever marry that Jezebel or Delilah
Pls don't look at beauty in marriage
That girl will betray you smartly when you are abroad or if anything goes berserk.
You will surely live long but sincerely I love your thoughts and wisdom.
I m giving u an elderly advice.
Run away from that girl stylishly

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh!!
You are lucky she spoke out

9047188731
Ivyhairline 
Fcmb 


Whoever owns that account scammed me. Ladies beware. I am still waiting for my wig since March

gunners160:

shey u dey mind that small boy? I wonder how comes he happens to b dating such an intelligent lady? She only made a suggestion and he took it 2 heart like a kid. Too bad he attends a university where I graduated from long time ago

Avi

The kind of rubbish, senseless, childish threads that make frontpage sef ehnn!!! Seun please upgrade Nairaland ooo!!!

Mvici:
them no go understand Sha, na me been wear the shoe that day hear wetin she talk, maybe na out of ignorance she take talk amm but seriously from my side which I won't mention..... family members will think u were never loyal throughout those long period....haba! over 30 with a son
No be say hungry dey worry u or ur husband family ain't accommodating.... She might not even be the type cause no one knows tomorrow....it all depends on an individual mindset though.
I broke up with her not even because of that.....that one is a personal matter but the issue of my mum getting another man was really confusing so I wanted to hear more, explore and learn more about marriage which is all about sacrifice.

Its sad that you didn't end up learning anything. Instead you digged the hole you were already in deeper to reinforce your narrow minded views. Best of luck

Well, your Mom is such a strong woman!
She obviously, is just like my Mom..

Brave,Sacrificial, And above all Loves you too much to make such sacrifice.

To be frank with you, I wouldn't will advice you to go on pathing ways with your Girlfriend, she might be good!

Reason be that,I shade Tears, whenever I put myself in the position of my Mom, Sometimes you just need that someone with whom you can talk to, fight with, play with, look up to, Relate with and share opinions about life and how to Move on!
But whenever, I find myself away from my Boyfriend for a while, I realise my Mom has been in a Helpless situation, and it's obvious that she can not change things.

Each and every night when I lay to sleep, all I ever think of is what she thinks, how she feel, taking care of 6 children, who where left behind all by herself, no one to talk to about what decisions is best to take and what is not...

And so I keep on praying and wishing she gets a companion with whom she would live again...
Not because I am not jealous for my Dad, but he is long gone and she has sacrificed a lot to be where we are today!

I think she deserve a life,
She deserve Happiness,
and also someone with whom she would wake up every morning to talk to about what she feels and how she feels.

Life is too short!
And despite all sacrifices we would want to make, I believe we all deserve to be Happy!

Your Girlfriend is probably feeling for your Mom and she felt possibly your mom needs to live again.
I will Advice you to seek God on this!

It was an honest advice and she said it out of genuine love and concerns for your Mum, loneliness goes beyond bleeping don't count it against your girl if you truly love her.

It's your mum's choice, if she wants to, fine, if she doesn't want to, that's fine too. There's nothing wrong with the suggestion your friend gave you as she's thinking of your mum as a human being with feelings too. In addition, if y'all Christians, the promise is "until death do us part".