karkinase:

One reason I dont trust any woman who says no sex before marriage...80% of the time they are damaged goods . Op, you are the cause of your predicament, you sealed your fate the day you agreed on a no sex deal. Anyway the only option on your card now is to be brutal, stop doing gentle man women love harsh men. Tell her if she's not having sex she can walk away and you go look for who will give you sex. Be firm n stand your ground. Bliv me you will see changes Asap. Anyway as you follow this advice dont forget to also swallow some redpill. Understand women psychology n you will enjoy your marriage . Goodluck.

baralatie:
so
as of now .........

Op! you problem is not sex denial in marriage.....

your problem statement is where is the love and how to either restart or reengineer or rebuild a hurtened couple

the two of you need to see a marriage counselor very fast

and they your mind ready to hear things as in things that will shake you

moneyshop:


Even if this is how you refer to your father while having harmless conversation, courtesy demands you take your drugs and apply some decorum while trying to bear your opinion in a public forum. That's if you can actually articulate at all to have an opinion in this matter.

It's obvious your brain has two sides: on the left side, there's nothing right — and on the right side, there's nothing left. Imp!

karkinase:

Which Yeye marriage counselor..woman is weaponzing sex and you saying counselor..Truth is they are not sexually compatible and the Op is scared to show her the exit door. If that woman meets a hot guy now bet you she will cooperate... ppl dont understand women love sex more than men.

Curvinus:


What you wrote up there is one of the most insanely idiotic relationship advice ive come across on this forum.

If that is actually how you run or intend to run your home in this country, then you come across as a pathetic weak individual with no cohones.

You shouldn't really be seen at the front of the queue when it comes to dishing out relationship advices because you are very poor at it.

baralatie:

there was love o!
she loved him
He loved her
but mismanagement of the issues that arose between them is what brought out the dagger and the shied

djon78:


There wasn't love
If there was
It wouldn't have been this situation
We use the word love
Do we really understand the meaning
When you love someone
You will go a long way to make life easier for that one
Love isn't selfish

Do you know
The kind of pressure that young man is in?
And he even started off on a Christian template
Abiding by no sex till marriage
Hoping to get it well in marriage
Now this

This issue can break or scatter a home
Or mistakingly the guy plays into the hands of a woman that understand this game well

The woman is extremely selfish
Fortunate she has a man that has restrictions and temperate

Like I said
May God help him and give him wisdom to rightly handle this situation

baralatie:


love generates expectations.expectations and fulfilment are related.

if you read and again I say if you read the lastest comments of the op on this matter.the woman was the first on the block with speed and something seriously happened which they didn't receive.as time went on banter between happened and that went unresolved.now the woman just went off .
was there love yes!
did the love go sour between them yes!
at what time did it happen and why ( ma4iage counseling required)
there problem was not sex but communication and conflict management and these two can erode love like nothing happened

Burstit:
What do you mean by she doesn't find you attractive? How could she say you are not loving just bcus you don't do chores. How could she open her running mouth to tell you to go meet the house help for sex. Bros, you are taking too much, you are losing your value. You need to sit up and stop acting like a boy, if not one guy man with attraction for her place of work go continue de wack your wife.

djon78:




The only thing I know is that if her heart was in there
She would have told her man whatever the problem was
So her heart weren't there fully
That's the problem here
And she ain't willing to point it out

She is just fortunate
The guy is patient and temperate
If it's other kind of men
They would have gotten a relief somewhere

If this issue prolongs
Then she has invited and opened door to the devil to come and dine/feast on her marriage
That's the koko

A wise woman builds her home
While a foolish one tears it down with her hands

musicproducer:


she proberly getting it out there women dont know how to control their emotion,

do u chk her phones codedly?
if not try n search for sex, love you, missing you, when you coming etc if u think shes not cheating best u divorce her n move on, people should know sex is very important in marriage.

else get someone out side n be filling ur self ignore her completely period when she's tired outside she will come around, if she doesn't u guys should go ur way one of the most reasonable comments here.

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have a feeling that this woman pays bills in the house. They are most likely in a fifty fifty arrangements. This sttesses a woman out because the man cannot provide. The woman most likely feels that she married a man child, not a man.

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have a feeling that this woman pays bills in the house. They are most likely in a fifty fifty arrangements. This sttesses a woman out because the man cannot provide. The woman most likely feels that she married a man child, not a man.

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

Lush100:
My brother,
This statement is not true.
Sir, if a man is providing , a woman can still do that.
When I lost my job,
I was still providing for my family because of my savings (5M) was on a high side,
My wife still did this sex-denial stuff,
So it's not true,
You don't want the woman to contribute financially? That's a time bomb because if the unexpected happens, she will become useless.
The issue could be her orientation, her type of friends she keeps, etc.

We had fewer sex during lockdown than we had before the lock down. Same tired excuse.

then during lookdown once she wakes up, she bathes for our son and prepare a time table for his food and gives to our maid. After she prepares food for me other times she wont. she would just lock herself in another room and maybe only come out to drink water and take somethin from the fridge. This really annoyed me then to the point, I said going forward no locking of rooms doors. Every door must be left open. She would only come out around 8-9pm when she would make dinner.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

laluski:


My dear brother you need to tell her parents... there's no shame in it..if u don't tell them, when you get pushed to the wall and react by having a side chick and she finds out, both your families will know and if u now tell them twas because she was denying you sex,both families will ask you why didn't u tell them...you'll now look stupid in front of them.the whole blame will be on you as a man and head of a house who was supposed to know and act better... tell her parents over and over again.if she doesn't change, talk to your pastor, if she doesn't budge(which am suspecting she won't), then just jejely go get a side chick...you see my brother, you apply wisdom in marraige.when u get a side chick continue to disturb her for sex( so she won't suspect anything).if u don't, she'll wake up one day and notice u don't ask for sex again... that'll be the beginning of wahala for you.your having a side chick doesn't mean you don't luv her, you just want to fulfill your own needs.what she's doing is very very wicked my brother and a sin, so don't feel guilty

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

donbuchi1:



Based on the advise above, and on a personal experience I will advise you. 1. Speak to her mother. 2. Work on your emotions and stop begging for sex. 3. Stop being nice towards her. 4. Shower your son with excess love, gifts etc. 5. Take him out, buy ice cream and trash the container at home. Make sure she sees the containers. 5. Take back the car. Cease all forms of communication with her. 6. Cook your meals or if she's done cooking, take directly from the pot. 7. No sitting together in church. 8. Guy be mean going forward 9. Don't pay for DStv or cut off fringe benefits she gets from you. No buying of fuel for generator. Act like the marriage is over. Buy loads of books keep busy. Take sex off you mind. I did even more and she came all folded up and practical asked for it.

Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

SPAMBOX7:
This is what you or your loved ones will pass through. Oya claim it if you believe you didn't type nonsense up there. Werey