Samakus:
Hey guys.

I will be brief. So, I met a girl in church and one thing led to another and we exchanged contacts. We been chatting and talking ever since. I can tell she likes me a lot as she's always calling me on WhatsApp call and video calls.

So, we fixed our first date to be today. Told her I will call her by 4pm to give her the venue. I decided for us to hang out in a popular eatery close to my area. The place is quite busy on Sundays with lots of guys and babes coming around for dates and to chill. They usually have live band too with good meals and all other things.

Called babe by 4pm as I promised and gave her the location and she refused coming there. I even offered to pay for tfare even though I knew that that's not the reason but she wasn't having any of it. Initially, she said that she hasn't gone there before but wouldn't want to go there either. Pressing forward, babe gave a new funny excuse that her village people usually come to that venue . Like WTF . Granted, she's from the town but how will someone know that her village peeps goes to a place if you haven't been there before. Ofcourse i stood my ground and the date had to be cancelled. She's been chatting me and I haven't replied yet.

To the question, does it make sense for a lady to choose for a guy where to take her especially on a first date? Who wouldn't want to hangout in a popular relaxation spot if he/she doesn't have anything to hide? Anyways, I had to take two plates of goat peppersoup from my budget and a chilled Heineken beer to watch my Arsenal team mumu themselves, by the way. I can't come and kill myself on top my own money too

She has a lot to hide. Be thankful she didn't turn up with her friends to eat and take something home.

“ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ᴋɪɴᴅ. ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴠʏ, ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴏᴀsᴛ, ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ. ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ɴᴏᴛ ᴅɪsʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs, ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ sᴇʟғ-sᴇᴇᴋɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴀsɪʟʏ ᴀɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ, ɪᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ɴᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴡʀᴏɴɢs. ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴅᴏᴇs ɴᴏᴛ ᴅᴇʟɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ᴇᴠɪʟ ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴇᴊᴏɪᴄᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ. ɪᴛ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛs, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛʀᴜsᴛs, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ʜᴏᴘᴇs, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘᴇʀsᴇᴠᴇʀᴇs. ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ғᴀɪʟs” (1 ᴄᴏʀɪɴᴛʜɪᴀɴs 13:4-

SweetCunt97:
Stay there and allow guys who never see girl pant talk less of girl liking them fool you into believing nonsense. Don't be too quick to judge a person's character. Besides you ought to ask her if she's OK with d venue if not you change it. Simple. What she was before she met you shouldn't b ur concern but what she decides to be knowing u.

and how exactly is seeing ur stinky pant an achievement ??

Bro, forget long story and continue with your game, if you really need yourown share of the city cake

BestAccessories:


Well, basically if we meet online and we are meeting for the first time, I give the lady the honour of suggesting a place she is comfortable with for a start.

Maybe because I drive, it's convenient for me to navigate my way around and also remember I said First meeting.

For girls I meet offline, I suggest the place we meet. Patapata, I will come pick you up at your apartment and drive you to the location/venue.

Asking a girl I meet online to suggest a place we will meet for the first time allows me:

1. Understand if allow taste aligned.
2. The type of person you're truly are.
3. No strings attached, opportunity to japa if what I expect isn't what you got.

It works for me.

Asking her to suggest, doesn't mean I will accept the suggestion. It's a Suggestion, I asked for not Recommendation.

What you are narrating is a total opposite of what the OP is saying, OP met her in a church, Online you both, meet in a safe place neutral to both of you somewhere you and her feel safe not just her. After the link-up, you can now arrange the 1st date.it is at this point we are o n same page as OP.

ume1000:

First you talk of class

Then your clique


My apologies

But you did sound like a fraudster (a yahoo boy to be precise)

Apparently you don't understand anything I have wrote so far.

So there is no point engaging you in further discussion.

So to you, because i date just any girl make me a fraudster.

Lemme break it down for you or come down a bit your level.

First, I don't go on date with students. It's a NO/NO for me. If you're still collecting feeding allowance at home, I can't date you. It's simple and straightforward.

Second, I appreciate maturity, so I don't date anything below 25/27 year.

Third, There is a difference between asking for suggestions and asking for recommendation. Go understand the difference.

Fourth, I earn my living through legitimate means, so I can't afford to spend lavishly on anybody. I also have bills to pay and I don't work to get paid so that I can go and feed anyone's daughter at a place her father can't feed her.

gunners160:
To be Frank with you, you are over reacting . And all those yeye advice "like let her be" she has a skeleton in her cupboard etc are what I call children advice. Wait, if she has a bf, is it a crime? Do you expect a grown up lady not to have a bf b4? Habi who goes to. buy clothes in d market naked? Date is an avenue were two adults get to know each other and if you Carr about her, get to knw her beta and ask questions. The answers to those questions is what will decide if she is worth it is not. Tell her you are disappointed in what she did but she should choose the next venue. Shallom

Your advice na DIE

Mcslize:


If she likes you don't just bother taking her out. Just invite her straight to your grib. She will definitely come.

Once a girl likes you, it makes things easy. You won't do much.

Slize and roll the dice!!!
My nigga

StacyO:


Lol
Funny

I guess she's not alone then,though I'm not that holy than thou type,I really do hate it when men invite me to a hotel,popular restruant or what have you for a date.
Strolling or making use of a not too popular place will be much appreciated.



In her case,

1) She might be an introvert,
(I remember when I went swimming at a popular cool spot then,came out and all I could hear was okpor okpor from those around. Didn't actually know the meaning. More like an embarrassing day of my life).
She might just be the shy type and definitely wouldn't want to be seen by familiar eyes or mingle with the crowd.



2)She is a popular aunty there. honestly, she might be well known around that area. Probably trying to not display herself to the other guys she have chopped on a chopping board.



3) She thinks you are after something else entirely. Why invite me to a rowdy place on a first date??
Doesn't make sense



4) She doesn't like the place.
Come on,kill the pride and give her that benefit of doubt.
Not everyone has the same taste or choice as you. It's your money fine,actually makes me think you might be way too controlling and proud.



All ain't the same, try to see others from their own point of view. I personally, won't mind taken a glass of water so long you take me to a place I'm overtly comfortable.


If you think she's hiding some other things,there's absolutely no harm in asking.

You think she's into you.
Why not ask her why she's afraid to come to the so called popular bar?

An elder who knows what to do,won't go about seeking advice from people that will give him/her same opinion.

Stacy, why are you lying@number 1 point.

You no 'por' anything naaaaa

erico2k2:

What you are narrating is a total opposite of what the OP is saying, OP met her in a church, Online you both, meet in a safe place neutral to both of you somewhere you and her feel safe not just her. After the link-up, you can now arrange the 1st date.it is at this point we are o n same page as OP.

You're right. I have clarified same with the OP in my other comments on the thread.

Beside, going on a date with a babe you meet offline shouldn't be rocket science.

He didn't play his card well.

He could have asked her to meet him in a neutral place for a start, then take her to the eatery/bar/lounge instead of asking her to come directly there.

BestAccessories:


Apparently you don't understand anything I have wrote so far.

So there is no point engaging you in further discussion.

So to you, because i date just any girl make me a fraudster.

Lemme break it down for you or come down a bit your level.

First, I don't go on date with students. It's a NO/NO for me. If you're still collecting feeding allowance at home, I can't date you. It's simple and straightforward.

Second, I appreciate maturity, so I don't date anything below 25/27 year.

Third, There is a difference between asking for suggestions and asking for recommendation. Go understand the difference.

Fourth, I earn my living through legitimate means, so I can't afford to spend lavishly on anybody. I also have bills to pay and I don't work to get paid so that I can go and feed anyone's daughter at a place her father can't feed her.

What's with you and this COME DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL

a very big ego problem you got right there

Nonetheless point noted

THOUGHT YOU WERE A SIMP

my apologies

Preshmane:
you should have let her decide the venue as it's the first date ...

Be careful. Let her not take you to eko meridian. Let her price herself before enjoying bae privilege

ume1000:


What's with you and this COME DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL

a very big ego problem you got right there

Nonetheless point noted

THOUGHT YOU WERE A SIMP

my apologies

Brotherly, I am humble. No ego anywhere.

Going on a date is an expense you need to control.

Asking for suggestions, requires wisdom. You're making her thinks she is in control but instead you're just playing your cards.

Before going on a date, you already had a budget, so asking for suggestions mean, you only accept venue/place that falls within your budget.

At least now, we understand each other points of view better.

Samakus:
Hey guys.

I will be brief. So, I met a girl in church and one thing led to another and we exchanged contacts. We been chatting and talking ever since. I can tell she likes me a lot as she's always calling me on WhatsApp call and video calls.

So, we fixed our first date to be today. Told her I will call her by 4pm to give her the venue. I decided for us to hang out in a popular eatery close to my area. The place is quite busy on Sundays with lots of guys and babes coming around for dates and to chill. They usually have live band too with good meals and all other things.

Called babe by 4pm as I promised and gave her the location and she refused coming there. I even offered to pay for tfare even though I knew that that's not the reason but she wasn't having any of it. Initially, she said that she hasn't gone there before but wouldn't want to go there either. Pressing forward, babe gave a new funny excuse that her village people usually come to that venue . Like WTF . Granted, she's from the town but how will someone know that her village peeps goes to a place if you haven't been there before. Ofcourse i stood my ground and the date had to be cancelled. She's been chatting me and I haven't replied yet.

To the question, does it make sense for a lady to choose for a guy where to take her especially on a first date? Who wouldn't want to hangout in a popular relaxation spot if he/she doesn't have anything to hide? Anyways, I had to take two plates of goat peppersoup from my budget and a chilled Heineken beer to watch my Arsenal team mumu themselves, by the way. I can't come and kill myself on top my own money too

Am not ganna lie to you bro the truth of the matter is the place you say to take her to doesn’t seems friendly it sound like a place you take a girl to and end up at your house you should have considered other places like kfc, dominos to lick ice cream or mega chicken etc beside it’s ur first date and for er ppl not to see er is a place Nt meant for everyone


Are you suppose to be drinking beer on ur first date am confuse

BestAccessories:


You're right. I have clarified same with the OP in my other comments on the thread.

Beside, going on a date with a babe you meet offline shouldn't be rocket science.

He didn't play his card well.

He could have asked her to meet him in a neutral place for a start, then take her to the eatery/bar/lounge instead of asking her to come directly there.

well, Im sure there was a build-up to this, however reasons given by the girl raises eye braw, stuff like my village people go there, is she going to date/marry the said village people or is she a teenager then I will take such person as immature or better still she got something to hide!

Alexaonfleek:
They have labeled her a prostitute already.

Welcome to Nigeria.

Christian07:



Am not ganna lie to you bro the truth of the matter is the place you say to take her to doesn’t seems friendly it sound like a place you take a girl to and end up at your house you should have considered other places like kfc, dominos to lick ice cream or mega chicken etc beside it’s ur first date and for er ppl not to see er is a place Nt meant for everyone


Are you suppose to be drinking beer on ur first date am confuse

1st date do not have to involve eating, it should be what you do not sit at home and prepare urself, We al eat at home so food is not all that wanting, going for a drink is more of a thing than eat n swallow. These are the difference between a girl and a lady!

czarr:
OGA it depends on what you are looking for, are you looking for a wife or you want to release tension in your balls? if it's that latter then it shouldn't bother you if she has skeletons in her cupboard. change venue and continue parole.

But if you are already Catching Feelings and you want something serious with her then stop and reconsider because from her actions you can tell she is not only from the street, she is from the Galactic highway.

best comment so far

MadeMan01:


Be careful. Let her not take you to eko meridian. Let her price herself before enjoying bae privilege

erico2k2:

well, Im sure there was a build-up to this, however reasons given by the girl raises eye braw, stuff like my village people go there, is she going to date/marry the said village people or is she a teenager then I will take such person as immature or better still she got something to hide!

She either doesn't know how to express herself very well or got some secret she is hiding.

The place might be a place she must not be seen by her parents or she is promiscuous lady forming holier than thou for him.

Either way, the OP doesn't play his card well.

MadeMan01:


Be careful. Let her not take you to eko meridian. Let her price herself before enjoying bae privilege

It's about giving her the privilege of the first time..

Samakus:
Hey guys.

I will be brief. So, I met a girl in church and one thing led to another and we exchanged contacts. We been chatting and talking ever since. I can tell she likes me a lot as she's always calling me on WhatsApp call and video calls.

So, we fixed our first date to be today. Told her I will call her by 4pm to give her the venue. I decided for us to hang out in a popular eatery close to my area. The place is quite busy on Sundays with lots of guys and babes coming around for dates and to chill. They usually have live band too with good meals and all other things.

Called babe by 4pm as I promised and gave her the location and she refused coming there. I even offered to pay for tfare even though I knew that that's not the reason but she wasn't having any of it. Initially, she said that she hasn't gone there before but wouldn't want to go there either. Pressing forward, babe gave a new funny excuse that her village people usually come to that venue . Like WTF . Granted, she's from the town but how will someone know that her village peeps goes to a place if you haven't been there before. Ofcourse i stood my ground and the date had to be cancelled. She's been chatting me and I haven't replied yet.

To the question, does it make sense for a lady to choose for a guy where to take her especially on a first date? Who wouldn't want to hangout in a popular relaxation spot if he/she doesn't have anything to hide? Anyways, I had to take two plates of goat peppersoup from my budget and a chilled Heineken beer to watch my Arsenal team mumu themselves, by the way. I can't come and kill myself on top my own money too

Invite her over to your place instead.
And stop supporting Arsenal.

BestAccessories:


She either doesn't know how to express herself very well or got some secret she is hiding.

The place might be a place she must[b] not be seen by her parents [/b]or she is promiscuous lady forming holier than thou for him.

Either way, the OP doesn't play his card well.

At the bolded, what should one be doing with such? if her parents control that part of her life then she ain't matured!

Samakus:
Hey guys.

I will be brief. So, I met a girl in church and one thing led to another and we exchanged contacts. We been chatting and talking ever since. I can tell she likes me a lot as she's always calling me on WhatsApp call and video calls.

So, we fixed our first date to be today. Told her I will call her by 4pm to give her the venue. I decided for us to hang out in a popular eatery close to my area. The place is quite busy on Sundays with lots of guys and babes coming around for dates and to chill. They usually have live band too with good meals and all other things.

Called babe by 4pm as I promised and gave her the location and she refused coming there. I even offered to pay for tfare even though I knew that that's not the reason but she wasn't having any of it. Initially, she said that she hasn't gone there before but wouldn't want to go there either. Pressing forward, babe gave a new funny excuse that her village people usually come to that venue . Like WTF . Granted, she's from the town but how will someone know that her village peeps goes to a place if you haven't been there before. Ofcourse i stood my ground and the date had to be cancelled. She's been chatting me and I haven't replied yet.

To the question, does it make sense for a lady to choose for a guy where to take her especially on a first date? Who wouldn't want to hangout in a popular relaxation spot if he/she doesn't have anything to hide? Anyways, I had to take two plates of goat peppersoup from my budget and a chilled Heineken beer to watch my Arsenal team mumu themselves, by the way. I can't come and
kill myself on top my own money too

Firstly, I don't go to a crowded eatery. I hate it. Sometimes when I take people to where I eat, the first question will be how I discovered such a calm & nice place....that's by the way.
Secondly, when I visit my hometown, I don't go to their shoprite on Sundays, cos I'm likely to see some of my village people there, I don't like any familiarity with them and the crowd too is a NO NO for me.
However, she's is a lady and must've hung out there with other guys she's not even dating or perhaps, she knows someone that works there & don't want that familiarity when she comes there with a guy...for her own privacy.

You should have been worried if the place has an hotel, but if it's just an eatery there's nothing there to be worried about.
When I'm taking a girl out, I tend to ask which eatery will be convenient for her. I can only object if she chooses a crowded eatery. There's nothing wrong allowing her choose a place, it doesn't reduce your masculinity. I just hope you're not the type that takes a girl out and be telling her what to order(ebe o ga agbara gi cheap)

Samakus:

Nah. It's a place everyman likes taking his woman to.

Not all women like to be where every man like taking their dates to.

The OP should also know that some people need their relationship to be a secret one. For example, I will not allow any guy no matter the chemistry in the relationship flaunt me around without doing the needful. Let's see it as the lady in question is protecting her image in case the guy didn't marry her. Some ladies are rumored dating guys who they hang out with even when nothing existed between them.

For instance, my boyfriend invited me to his birthday party at night in his house. Unknown to me that he invited every Tom, Dick and Harry. So on reaching there, he told me how he invited many people. I was angry and stayed in the kitchen pretending to be cooking all through the party. And it turned out that my classmate and one aunty from my village attended the party from where I was peeping them. You can't spoil my name when you are not ready to do the needful. Forget about a skeleton in a cupboard, there should be an atom of secrecy in a relationship.

Come visit me sounds like sex to women, but send me your account number sounds like prophetic breakthrough

I agree with you 100%

BestAccessories:


Apparently you don't understand anything I have wrote so far.

So there is no point engaging you in further discussion.

So to you, because i date just any girl make me a fraudster.

Lemme break it down for you or come down a bit your level.

First, I don't go on date with students. It's a NO/NO for me. If you're still collecting feeding allowance at home, I can't date you. It's simple and straightforward.

Second, I appreciate maturity, so I don't date anything below 25/27 year.

Third, There is a difference between asking for suggestions and asking for recommendation. Go understand the difference.

Fourth, I earn my living through legitimate means, so I can't afford to spend lavishly on anybody. I also have bills to pay and I don't work to get paid so that I can go and feed anyone's daughter at a place her father can't feed her.

OgeFather:


The way guys are becoming soft and pathetic all the name of being romantic these days is so annoying. You met a girl and asked her out and she agreed but refused to come to your chosen location, wont that raise enough suspicions to stand your ground and know what is going on

I don't know what you're on about guys becoming pathetic but all I see is a very considerate guy.

Like me, for example, I don't drink alcohol so consequently I don't do parties. So when a guy suggested or rather insisted we meet at a bar for our first date, red flags flew up and I said no. Why?

1) At a bar, we won't have our private seating arrangement. I imagined us seating on bar stools and it would be hella uncomfortable. And would we be drinking alcohol all through? Like is he trying to get me drunk or what?

2) The distraction would be excess. I once visited a bar place on a friend's suggestion after final exams and the music was confusingly loud. Half the time I didn't hear what she was saying or what the conversation was about. At the end, the foolish music gave me a headache afterwards.

3) That place isn't a kind of place I'd love people to associate me with. If you ever have to see me there, let it be in the company of a very close friend and a guy on a first date isn't that.

Suffice it to say the date got cancelled. And I'm glad it did cause it made me understand the kind of person he was without actually meeting him.

So as a first date rule, it's best to choose a venue both parties are comfortable with. You don't want to go on a date and your partner is distracted the whole time. Okay, imagine having a date at a strip club just because the girl insisted? Haba nah

Samakus:


Don't use Lagos to set a bar. Where I am is a close circuit emerging town. It takes 5 to 10 minutes to get to anywhere you're going to. Hope you grab.

And,, there's no 'relationship' here yet.

Owerri people una no dey ever disappoint Sha.

Use ur headpan

gunners160:
To be Frank with you, you are over reacting . And all those yeye advice "like let her be" she has a skeleton in her cupboard etc are what I call children advice. Wait, if she has a bf, is it a crime? Do you expect a grown up lady not to have a bf b4? Habi who goes to. buy clothes in d market naked? Date is an avenue were two adults get to know each other and if you Carr about her, get to knw her beta and ask questions. The answers to those questions is what will decide if she is worth it is not. Tell her you are disappointed in what she did but she should choose the next venue. Shallom

.I wonder how guys are jumping to foolish conclusions, because she gave excuse not to come to the venue for the very first time, guys are labelling her all sort of names.

She might not ready 100% for OP yet, maybe indecision on dating Op is the reason.