donbachi:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

A fiance is different from boyfriend.

How much is a loaf of bread or even a bottle of Eva wine that he couldn't afford and he wants to marry?

Anything that someone is not doing right before marriage, don't expect him to change after marriage.

GayPontiff:




E dey pain me pass say all these rubbish is given with the excuse that we are Africans and gift must be presented. Who enacted that stupid law?

God punish every idiiiiot that keeps dragging this race backward with their backwardness.

The guy should treat them with a ten ft pole onwards.
They don't deserve him at all.

. Boss this a disgrace, most money be relationship or marriage. Like the other person you quote, am not sure they have money.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

My dear,

Please let's set the flags ablaze and allow everyone live freely without entitlement.

What if he's cash strap and just needed to keep to his word?.......


But las las that guy nor try ooooo, he could have just leave mumsi with urgent 2k

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

his opinion count. because he told you the plain truth? you wouldn't have brought it to public place if you don't need bitter truth

Kriss216:

Is it obligatory?

No Kriss, out of courtesy.

But isn't it awkward?

Would you do it? Be honest...

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Some one you’re just trying to build a relationship with? If I’m the mother I’d really feel insulted if he offered me money.

There’s more to life than taking and expecting things always from people. Why can’t she be the giver?

Mariangeles:

Tell that to those who want your "materials"



He didn't do anything wrong, but he did something shameful according to Igbo culture. Ihe ihere.

And no, culture can not be left out when it involves your in-laws.

Bros you too lie. There is no place in igbo tribe where not bringing gifts is shameful.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

It’s best to marry a white woman. If you visit your potential mother in law with gifts when it’s not her birthday, Christmas or wedding anniversary, you’ll look so awkward.

Our culture is drowning in corruption and bribery.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Oh pleaseee
I haven't laughed out loud in a while..
Why do Nigerians like this statement of I can feed you or richer than you only online sha
Talk is cheap anyway
Aunty shishi you no get, just cover your face
Rubbish

Trayceey:
that's your family and not mine

aunty nawa for u and ur moma oo. What a dramatical expression! Jeez

Your boyfriend is brainless and useless.

He messed up the only opportunity he would have used to cement his relationship with your mother.

Pls dump his stingy and shameless ass.

Don't let any modafoka tell you otherwise here.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Trayceey:
I'm not defending my mum. You know these mothers always have a hold on us

My dear, I would have loved to ask how old you are? No offence intended.

Notwithstanding, you have some work to do. One of them is breaking free from this 'mum's hold' you just talked about. Another is apologizing to your fiance.

I wish you best of luck!

deltateam:


A fiance is different from boyfriend.

How much is a loaf of bread or even a bottle of Eva wine that he couldn't afford and he wants to marry?

Anything that someone is not doing right before marriage, don't expect him to change after marriage.

So buying gifts for the mom each time he visits is the right thing to do abi

I think I learn a big lesson here.....I will also not go to my inlaw with anything for the first time....if they offer me food or drink...I will decline it....the highest I will accept is maybe water..
.
Then I will watch their reaction. In this case it's obvious the mother in law is stupid...even if she was to complain about it, it Should be on a light mood and not on a serious tone to warrant my babe to argue hard with me.
Complaining on a light mood means they give the guy a benefit of doubt that he will be a good inlaw in future.
.
But serious protestation shows they are Ebina, hungry and miserable which is redflag for the guy, cos most greedy mother-in-law are usually the down fall of many marriages if the wife is not wise.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

. You and your mom aren't mature yet. The guy had done nothing wrong. Typical poverty and hunger mentality.

Miarose:
you and your mother are too hungry. Respect and courtesy >> gift.

and you are a mad man.

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

Hello madam, what your mom did was wrong and you should be using your head as an adult. She offered him a drink what's wrong with that? At least for the fact that he came to see her is good enough, stop acting and sounding naive pls. Stop using your hand to destroy your relationship

Mariangeles:

No Kriss, out of courtesy.
But isn't it awkward?
Would you do it? Be honest...

Since it’s not obligatory, why’s the mum and the girl furious?

[quote author=Trayceey post=97858008][/quote]

Again... it shows your degree of foolishness and madness. I can't even comprehend the level of ur mum's if you can be this dumb.

Broke dis, broke dat yet, you and ur hungry mum dey expect bread and milk from an innocent guy seeking love.

Na Thunder go strike you and ur mama, I swear!

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

though I don't support you and your mum reaction, but I still believed in never visit your an elder empty handed. Even if they are your family members

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

very shameless home you came from , what is buying something let ur mum marry u then

Sixfeetbelle:


But he didn't bring #250 bread nah.

Yes...some leeches were saying he should have brought 250# bread for his gf mum...so na the 250# bread dey vex mum and daughter

Ah

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Which verse in the Bible or Quran?

Things should be handled with maturity.
Whatever your mum doesn't get from your man today, she can get more in future and with love from him.
Since your mum showed displeasure, I expected you to buy something and present it on his behalf and later tell him about it rather than call to confront him.

Now, what if this young had paid so much bills for the month and was flat broke? As a fiancée, has he been communicating about his finances with you? My dear, wisdom is profitable to direct, the marriage never start and gifts want to ruin it?

Handle things with wisdom dear.

Peace!

West2019:
very shameless home you came from , what is buying something let ur mum marry u then

you must be broke.
so many nairaland boys are broke and this is why they're so pained on this issue. You won't blame them though. This country is messed up

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

You carry your family matter come nairaland.
But the truth be told he shouldn't have visited empty handed. some culture. if u don't bring anything for your host don't expect anything as a guest. Meaning don't expect anything from them including their daughter.
On the other hand your parents should know things are no longer the same.
And my own advise is that your fiance should visit again with whatsoever he observed was missing in that house. Even if na fridge or cotton

Graxie:
Please don't marry him, he will always hate your mom. You did wrong by telling him what your mom said. It wasn't his first time and he didn't go empty the first time. Your mom is greedy.

The mom isn't greedy. You will be a mother one day. Even if it's corn 50 Naira, olden days we offered kola 5 Naira. It doesn't satisfy hunger or craving. It's respect and homage simple.

this lady naa oloriburuku somebody ooo.....person wey need advice still dey counter the advice #bastard

Both of you are wrong but he's initiator.

This is embarrassing to read. Sup with your mom? If she was displeased about that, she should have kept it to herself. And you just had to call your fiance to tell him that. Sends a wrong message.

deltateam:


No, babe. You are right on this one as long as you never insulted him.

His behavior shows he doesn't care about your opinion.

He should have listened to you. He's clearly insensitive.

They were communicating (arguing) until she dropped the call.

So, she has to make the first move because she ended the means they could have used for resolution.

cc: Trayceey take note.