pocohantas:


This right here is the main problem if you ask me. The effrontery to call the guy and scold him. Omo! I dey imagine as the call take go.

Double wahala for who no get bf wey wan visit her mama.

For the first time, l read a comment where you are jovia.

Nawao

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Here ends this argument. You shot yourself in the foot

15ssDRIVE:
I am proud to be an African. Its our culture !!!

culture dey every where you go.


who goes to see his/her mother Inlaw empty handed ? Even correct woman no go, come see her mother Inlaw empty handed ....... no be hunger oh... na courtesy

and how does it translate to successful marriage

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

your mum is wrong to have expected something from your boyfriend, his presence should be more than enough. Your mum should be glad ur bf visited her, not many guys would do that!!

They want to leech the young man .Your mum could not commend on his behaviour, whether he is a gentle man or not .What about his background? Nothing. Sister you fall my hand .You don't love this guy at all

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

awesome!

Lol.......Wahala for who go see he potential inlaw empty handed o.







If na guy like me I won't make that mistake of marrying OP. I can't be my inlaws ATM cos I prefer to give willingly and not by force.

BusinessCity:



I'm telling you. Just fruit mixtures orange, Apple, mangoes, pineapple and a bottle of non alcoholics wine 800 Naira is enough. The woman was on her own o. It was him that said he wanted to go pay homage.

Shutup...visits doesnt mean bringing gifts...cant one go and visit and greet someone without giving bread and fruits..is she sick that OP must bring mangoes for her to lick...can u swear with your life that u visits your friends everytime with fruits

But females visit their would-be mother-inlaw empty handed?

I blame the guy self, all this kind of see finish attitude with some Nigerian mothers.

Biglittlelois:



I cringed when I saw the bolded, is it that your fiance can't eat in your parent's house? Cos I don't understand what you mean by her drink, una nor dey entertain visitors? Smh!!!

Don't stress yourself please, she sounds like those girls that are not mature yet and again she doesn't sound like a thinker. That man should excuse himself from the relationship if he does not want issues..

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Lolzzz...When it will favour them they will now remember WE ARE AFRICANS but ordinary to play the role of a true African woman based on tradition they will be forming woke

Lashist:

Thoughts of what if i may ask??..the OP quarrelled with her bf because the guy didn't come bearing gifts like he is part of the 3 wise men. What thought are you saying or are trying to say what the little girl and her mum did is very right??. Op should better go and shake bottom for Ned so he can give her mum cars and houses which will make her mum proud

I'm not saying quarreling for the guy was the best approach, she did wrong on that. She should have been calm and used wisdom to tell him. But the guy did wrong in coming empty-handed too. I don't visit family friends empty-handed. I wasn't raised like that and I expect my fiancé to have that at the back of his mind.

Shokoloko:


This is not true. This exact same thing happened to me. The guy's mum right there told me that it was wrong to come and see her without a gift (no matter how small). I had to go out, ask the guy for a little cash and go give his mum.

Interesting.

Are you guys married now?

[color=#006600][/color]

Mariangeles:


I don't know about the others, but in my tribe (Igbo), that's how things are done.
You don't go to your in-laws bare handed.
It is not an act to be proud of.

A very big lie.
Maybe in your family but it's not a must to bring gift EACH TIME you visit your in-laws or potential in law in igbo land.

Moreover the young man is her boyfriend and not her husband yet.

donbachi:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

Even if he is the hubby, coming along with gift is not an obligation or entitlement.

This one na entitlement mentality mother and daughter.

On point! This is the perfect summary of the whole matter

Graxie:
Please don't marry him, he will always hate your mom. You did wrong by telling him what your mom said. It wasn't his first time and he didn't go empty the first time. Your mom is greedy.

If iam the man I will run like Usain bolt away from you. What if this man later marry you, what will your mom be expecting? Maybe he will ask to bring a car in each of his visit.

Poverty is often concealed in splendor, and often in extravagance. It is the task of many people to conceal their neediness from others. Consequently they support themselves by temporary means, and everyday is lost in contriving for tomorrow.

Nature makes us poor only when we want necessaries, but custom gives the name of poverty to the want of superfluities.

Extreme poverty anywhere is a threat to human security everywhere.

Lashist:

Shutup...visits doesnt mean bringing gifts...cant one go and visit and greet someone without giving bread and fruits..is she sick that OP must bring mangoes for her to lick...can u swear with your life that u visits your friends everytime with fruits

You'll be a parent someday or someone beneath you would accord you without honour, then you'll understand. Your promptness to abuse me without any direct attacks against you speaks about your age, formative processes and character. I wish you well.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Definitely igbo

Your mummy should have ignored it, and not told you what happened. But it's a poor gesture from your man to be. Even if bus or okada no stop for road, Supermarket is always nearby.

The guy is immatured and should be schooled by married ones so he can present himself better next time.

Get over it as live goes on.

; Abeg,just ignore Nairaland "Millionaire boys"even the ones dat drink garri plus kulikuli will insult their mother not Urs.Free them.Dnt bother to beg the guy.If he desire/want u,he'll come back for ur hand.if NOT,pls,move on.If Chinedu nor marry U, Adekunle will marry u.All will be well.Ur mama is precious to u

Trayceey:
that's your family and not mine

Munzy14:

Even if he is the hubby, coming along with gift is not an obligation or entitlement.

This one na entitlement mentality mother and daughter.

The right thing to do was to reject her food/drink. The young man is greedy and a glutton!

Omo, how can you visit your mother in law for the first time without a gift, and sit down to eat her food and drink?

Let's be honest pls, the young man is greedy and shameless.

Sixfeetbelle:
I don't understand why everyone is being angry over this issue to be honest. Is it that we are so poor that courtesy is now a taboo?

I was raised to always go with gifts whenever I'm visiting a family friend so even if I don't have anything on me, bread is never scarce on me. Since this is not the guy's first visit (which I expect he would have maybe shown up with wine that first time), bread would have been more than good. A bottle of groundnut even looks nice.

Let me ask: When we were growing up, did we not have uncles and aunts that always visited with gifts? Did our mothers not package gifts always whenever we went to visit a family member? So why is this one being judged differently?

I do think the lady handled the matter badly, but let's not accept 'bad behavior' as the norm because we're trying to be woke.

I'm honestly shocked. Going by these comments here, the poverty level in this country is underestimated. 500 naira bread and 1000 wine would have sufficed. Na wa oo

SweetCunt97:
But you know it ain't cool to go see an intending in law empty handed nwokem. The lady no wise though

Every time?

iamL:
Your mum should have been more concerned about his behavior and the kind of man he is.

His action and I actions are reflections of his character and composure.

KosiGee:



It’s best to marry a white woman. If you visit your potential mother in law with gifts when it’s not her birthday, Christmas or wedding anniversary, you’ll look so awkward.

Our culture is drowning in corruption and bribery.

And whites don't takes gifts?

Even guests take gifts to their hosts.

Trayceey:
that's your family

pls can u shut up and make amends!! U bleeped up big time.. Ur mum bleeped up too.. Accept ur mistakes..!

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

It seems your mum is materialistic an overbearing.

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

Oga why are u talking like this naaaa

U are one of the people i respect most in this forum, i too respect u sir but this u re saying got me a little bit unsettled.

Only u can not be right among multitude na, she and her mother are wrong just let her acept it, stop painting black white.


Even if its me, do i even have the time to visit my gf not to talk of her mother, visiting her mother alone is a great gesture and should be appreciated but u guys are marring it just cus he didn't come with Ore bread.

Bros stop this oo make i no change am for u o

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

from your expression,I can boldly say that the visit is not for the purpose of introduction cos he wouldn't have gone there alone and your mother is also alone that's why I said that. In your learned opinion,what would he have taking along to to visit your mother?,or if that is very important as you claim,wouldn't you have suggested what he would have taking along with him to see your mother?....
I'll suggest you go and settle your issue with your guy cos you've been wrong all along...my opinion which you sought....

JovialJune:



Yen yen yen right back at you,

Nsidime.

"Nsidime" just made me remember Akwa Ibom State.