The greatest gift the boy gave your mother is to date you.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Tufia!

I give up on this generation!

This is Africa my foot!

You people have made everything transactional in this country to the extent, LOVE, Respect, even something as priceless as a time spent with a loved one has zero value as long as no tangeble financial material was involve.

I blame the simp of a guy that has no job, its obvious the girl involved is physically beautiful and in her prime,(why won't the hungry mom feel entitled to whatever fucck the guy should bring) imagine if the siad girl was in her 30s and desperate.

I give up!

Sis, like seriously, u no try ooooo.. u are in d best position to make ur mum understand dat ur fiance is not an ATM and u shud turn it to joke.... saying does she wants to become iya oko bournvita...u are suppose to be on ur spouse side.... u make him feel like u and ur mum just wanna examine his pocket. truth is u might loose dat guy sha.. he is not bin wicked if he backs out but rather thinking of d future

hmmm u can imagine....is it a law?.. y wud u even get angry over D's ?.
you do not respect him as a man n ur Moda pretty much seem to b a woman dat lyk materialistic things....u wud soon regret all ds.

donbachi:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

Lmao you really have to add the milo and milk

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Chairman your head get plenty oil.Take 30000 likes join , your teeth complete. They want to leech the young man .Your mum could not commend on his behaviour, whether he is a gentle man or not .What about his background? Nothing. Sister you fall my hand .You don't love this guy at all

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Anti?? Sorry to say this but u and ur mama no try


Seems ur papa no present for that ous again sef

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Maybe it didn't cross his mind, but still, the mother had no right to React at all

I am proud to be an African. Its our culture !!!

culture dey every where you go.


who goes to see his/her mother Inlaw empty handed ? Even correct woman no go, come see her mother Inlaw empty handed ....... no be hunger oh... na courtesy

seunak2016:
if you are yoruba man ,I will definitely insult you but if not .... you think someone giving you her daughter to marry isn't a greatest gift ever? someone who is raise till that level you can approach her and say you like her...ordinary 10k cash is OK for recharge card unless someone is extremely poor you won't give your mother in law to be something on the first visit

oga, that was not the first time he is visiting them

You and your mum are too short sighted, what about making it up another day and time. You should not have even called him on phone, but discuss it in a respectful and matured manner. I also wanted to give my in laws children 500 naira at a particular time but my wife corrected me politely and I changed it to 1k

ranksz:
You didn't tell us if that was the first time he's visiting or if he is a regular visitor nor did you tell us how close he is to the family.
That would have helped give a better analysis.

If he is not a regular visitor then it's very wrong and disrespectful, if he is a regular visitor then you can't blame him

she said he had visited before tho this is his first of coming emptyhanded

saintjimos:
my prayer is that the said guy shouldn't read this thread

lol

Trayceey:
[s]I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My RelationshipMy fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?[/s]

I bu ewu.

Ezigbote ewu awusa.

You didn't see anything wrong with it until your momma pointed it out to you!!!

Nonsense.

Mariangeles:

It was lack of understanding. But would you go to your in-laws empty handed?
It's awkward just thinking about it...

Not yet in-laws... They are just boyfriend and girlfriend.

GayPontiff:



No offense o, but be offended all u want.
You and ur mama need deliverance .
Contact me for recommendations.

If the guy marries u, each visit to your mum will now cost him a cow and a new house shebi?
That he even went to greet her which is the highlight that deserves accolades suddenly gets swept under d carpet. U proceeded to hang up call on him.
Now ur seeking justification publicly.

If u want to enjoy ur marriage in d future when u don marry eh babes, no be everything momsi talk u go swallow.

end of discussion

esthel:
Well at first you said you saw it as nothing when she told you, that's what it should have been,you shouldn't have allowed her convince you further it was wrong. You need to apologise to him, whether he accepts or not is now left to him.

If she does this she'll end up being in a slave master relationship the guy is the wrong party ladies o

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Well, this is not an issue to cause rancour in your relationship, but mustn't be dismissed just like dat. Don't mind all these online bully trying to make u submit to your fiance's mistake. It's very wrong for anyone to visit a distant friend even a close friend without getting something for the house, as common as bread is, it's manageable. Let alone visiting your mother-in-law to be.

In all sincerity, your mum was right. But making it a big issue is wrong. Talk to your fiance, he needs to do better next time. This is a childhood discipline dat mustn't be wished away just like dat.

The guy be a prayer warrior or his mom or relatives must have been praying for him.

God has finally answered her prayers to kick that relationship to the curb and move on, he should go to Church and do thanksgiving for this deliverance.

It is wrong of your mom to place an expectation and responsibility on the guy, even if you guys are married, talkless of dating.

Gifts suppose to be willing and with no coercion. Your mother have a self-entitlement mentality and you were wrong to have call your fiancé on the matter.

Only God knows, what would have been coerced out of the poor guy in the marriage list, that your mom and relatives would have demanded of him or the other entitlements that he would have expected to meet to fit the model of a ‘good Inlaw’ to your people.

Do put pressure on anyone, you don’t know that perspective, upbringing, financial situations.

The guy insist of coming to see your mom despite your absent, it means he cares not only for you but for your mom and family. He will think twice before coming next time.

Nah relationship matter, leme just enjoy on the comment with my cold sobo. But your mother sev

Na bread wan spoil this relationship now


Wahala for who no buy bread give mother in law to be

He should at least visited with sth. No matter how small.

He lacks respect

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

Our generation needs help. I'm surprised by the responses I see on this thread. Each time I visit a community I bought lands, I take wine, fruits and bread to show respect to everyone today I'm honored as a king in the entire community and despite not being from the part of the country, I'm invited to partake in the elders hip. Meetings with the honorables. Imagine

Sixfeetbelle:


No, it isn't about the gift. It's the thought.

Thoughts of what if i may ask??..the OP quarrelled with her bf because the guy didn't come bearing gifts like he is part of the 3 wise men. What thought are you saying or are trying to say what the little girl and her mum did is very right??. Op should better go and shake bottom for Ned so he can give her mum cars and houses which will make her mum proud

What is left of your mother now is to eat and die while you is to marry,born children,trian them to school,eat and die.So now who has a long way to go?If you like stay there till you become and evening newspaper,how i wish you know the meaning of evening newspaper.That your same good mother when you reach 35years approaching 40 she we be the telling you to atleast get a man and marry for all fingers are not equal.Or you expect him to Use his transport and carry for hand so that he we not be empty handEd?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Babe, you and your mum were dem wrong. Like I told someone here, maybe it didn't cross his mind. The least u would have done, was to calm your mum and cover for him.

Then you politely tell him what had happened, to hear wat he has to say. Not just call and quarry him.

Cal him and Apologize

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

which African law said that you must bring something to the mother of your girlfriend whenever you visit. What is wrong is wrong. Stop saying African rubbish.

ceeceeuwa:

Even #250 bread, the Bobo no fit buy!
Their hate for women on this forum won't make them see reasons.

I'm telling you. Just fruit mixtures orange, Apple, mangoes, pineapple and a bottle of non alcoholics wine 800 Naira is enough. The woman was on her own o. It was him that said he wanted to go pay homage.

....Very shameful act from you and your mom.

All these ladies shouting culture. How many times have she knelt to serve her boyfriend food?

Abeg your mom should stop that entitlement mentality

Your mom's concern is very valid. She shouldn't have offered him anything. How can you visit an elderly woman empty-handed and still STEAL her drink in the name of visit?

Mother-in-law or not, you don't visit people, especially an elderly woman, eat their food without offering something in return. It's very disrespectful.

That's how some of you will travel 8 hours to live with your relatives without offering ordinary #200 bread. Did you save money in their hands to feed you?

Biglittlelois:



Giving gifts is not and can never be a compulsory act, it has to come from the heart and the availability of it,

The young man here brought a gift the first time he went to see her, if because of that the mother sees it as a normal routine or occurance, it reeks of entitlement mentality and taking undue advantage of another human,

Op's fiance is right to vent out his anger, he is expected to give gifts when and as he sees fit, not out of compulsion, Op should go and apologise to him.

He should have stayed home. Was his presence needed at the place he went?

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

The fiance is irrespnsible, your mummy was right to talk.