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Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by ONYEUTALI: 12:19am On Apr 02
Dreyton36:


Chai make God let our enemies confuse like this guy

Lights up my kpoli in peace

Lol. I expected comments like this. My reflection is so futuristic that people either take me for an alien or a slow. I even said somewhere in my post that I fear the OP won't be able to grasp my advice.
Y'all should stop being hypocrites. The man don't chose a woman, couple choses themselves. But if you're manly enough and insist you're the one to chose the woman, then make your choice and stop coming on Nairaland to ask of our opinions. Moreover we're not you and can never help you make a choice. By coming on Nairaland to ask for our opinions, you're indirectly telling us you're not manly enough to make a choice... Or simply put, that you don't have any right to chose your partner. And we're back to the starting point... You don't chose, you accept your partner. If you still insist you'll chose a partner, make your choice and save us these stupid posts.
Peace.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Nonexistent: 1:07am On Apr 02
She dey chop your leg and dey blow you breeze at the same time, this is why you are confused. By the time you stroll in and out of DNA clinics in the future, your eyes go clear.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by adadike(f): 1:18am On Apr 02
dawnomike:
Put yourself together, confront her with the truth and facts then, simply walk away in peace.
Terry44: I support this advice. such a cheat. Please run for your dear life before she plans with her true love, the so called ex to eliminate you. You can forgive her but you can never ever forget. Marriage is no joke Biko

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Slynation(m): 1:33am On Apr 02
Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.




NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.
So many things happened for obvious reasons, most people are always quick to judge and say "End the relationship as if it's that easy without considering the emotional effects it will have on you" because the next person you might meet ain't perfect as well...
In actuality, people cheat for obvious reasons, some do it for fun( their nature) while some do it based on other circumstances...I'm not trying to justify cheating in a relationship tho, but it seems your GF changed due to circumstances/unforseen reasons you don't know and certainly she lied to you from all observations....You just have to dialogue with her and relate your latest findings and surely your next step will be administered to you from that conversation....

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by obyrich(m): 5:49am On Apr 02
lilvicky68:
Oga the issue I have with you is that you paid flight for woman..ah!!! Na that one pain me pass..when I'm saying people should not put all their eggs in one basket . you see..
The only women I have paid flight for are my wife and daughter. I don't what is wrong with some guys. Na so them go dey mumu for women. Tueh.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by danietohbadt(m): 6:11am On Apr 02
PrimadonnaO:
Please marry her. She's a very good woman.

She'll cheat on you even when you get married, but at least she'll apologise.

It's the apology you're waiting for at the moment, right? Don't worry, is it not just an apology? You'll get it.



Loool. you're wicked
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Dreyton36: 6:25am On Apr 02
ONYEUTALI:


Lol. I expected comments like this. My reflection is so futuristic that people either take me for an alien or a slow. I even said somewhere in my post that I fear the OP won't be able to grasp my advice.
Y'all should stop being hypocrites. The man don't chose a woman, couple choses themselves. But if you're manly enough and insist you're the one to chose the woman, then make your choice and stop coming on Nairaland to ask of our opinions. Moreover we're not you and can never help you make a choice. By coming on Nairaland to ask for our opinions, you're indirectly telling us you're not manly enough to make a choice... Or simply put, that you don't have any right to chose your partner. And we're back to the starting point... You don't chose, you accept your partner. If you still insist you'll chose a partner, make your choice and save us these stupid posts.
Peace.

Ok
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Juliearth(f): 6:41am On Apr 02
SeekerofTruth1:



Please Op I Beg you in God's name,do not listen to the advice of this woman. Women don't care about men and so will Try to Absolve Their fellow woman from Faults and blame,while telling the man to Forgive her and sort things out with her.

Don't ever Take Relationship Advice from women!




Can you listen to yourself? Even op said his girlfriend seems confused. Do you throw away a child alongside the bath water because the water is dirty? Op needs to confront her with the truth and if she hasn't slept with the ex and is truly sorry, he could forgive her,but still observe her. That lady is 24 years and its possible that she is confused (especially if op is/was her first).

PS, please take a walk through my comments here on, then you would understand that I do not subscribe to women messing up/cheating, so cut me some slack with the women-always-suport-their-ilk talk . However, I feel this lady in question deserves audience at least, so op can fully understand the situation on ground.


BTW, Terry44 , do you know how hack into a phone? If you do, this might just be the right time to deploy their skill. All the best!
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Stockquality: 6:41am On Apr 02
Bro naija ladies are useless,I dated a girl for 4 good years,she was the only gal I fucke d,u know I was just myself,we stayed together but aft sometime she changed,became lazy,till one day she forgot her phone,by the time I got hold of it,all I was hearing was gboomgboom, my heartbeat multiplied,she even called me a fool to one guy on her bbm, her ex who she claimed was a childhood friend,family friend as nw calling u baby, sexing ub,under my own nose. God.I cursed her and ti now the curse is still effective I ended it after 2days. They are all useless.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Terry44: 6:55am On Apr 02
Thanks you all for your input..



I confronted her about it and she was very remorseful about it, she blamed it on circumstances. Also said nothing happened aside the constant chat and all.



Had to end it all because she may go back to such trait if she is faced with another Issue of such nature..


Thanks once again.

3 Likes

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:29am On Apr 02
danietohbadt:




Loool. you're wicked

Since he's asking us nonsense questions nau. cheesy

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by remi1444: 7:39am On Apr 02
emerazz:
Bro return the farm tool to the street where she belongs simple...
Niggalation 3:12. grin
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by indodon(m): 8:10am On Apr 02
Ditch the bitch
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by baralatie(m): 9:20am On Apr 02
Terry44:
Thanks you all for your input..



I confronted her about it and she was very remorseful about it, she blamed it on circumstances. Also said nothing happened aside the constant chat and all.



Had to end it all because she may go back to such trait if she is faced with another Issue of such nature..


Thanks once again.
best of all luck to you and take good care of yourself!
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Regex: 9:40am On Apr 02
Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.





NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.

You were doing a great job with your English till the bolded.

Maybe you should give her sometime, she will come back to her senses and realise how such a good man she has, since you don't know what to do.



Why una deh find am hard to understand that any girl that will as much as entertain her ex's chat on WhatsApp whilst still dating is never loyal nor serious and will eventually dump you when a bigger guy comes by? Kpele oh
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Duplexxx: 10:08am On Apr 02
I don't read story like this


Sorry i can't help
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by jesmond3945: 3:46pm On Apr 02
Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.




NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.
I think she cheated and she would cheat again. She would only stop if you confront her.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by jesmond3945: 3:54pm On Apr 02
Terry44:
Thanks you all for your input..



I confronted her about it and she was very remorseful about it, she blamed it on circumstances. Also said nothing happened aside the constant chat and all.



Had to end it all because she may go back to such trait if she is faced with another Issue of such nature..


Thanks once again.
you should end it only if you can condone cheating. If it is sex, she had sex while squatting with the guy. I would say give her a second chance.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Brunosamel(m): 4:13pm On Apr 02
Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.




NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.


number 1: she lied to you, that's a red flag,
Number 2: she is having sex with her ex
Number 3: she is broke
Number 4: long distance na scam

These are red flags what else do you need to know...
When dating a women especially Nigeria ones you need to be very cautious and observant... I won't tell you what to do you already know it, don't let pussy cloud your mind...

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by SeunDobo(m): 10:59am On Apr 08
Terry44:
Hello nlander, Had to create this account for anonymity sake.

Kindly forgive my Errors.


I am a guy in my late twenties, at least I can say am doing good for myself in this Buhari's next level. I've dated this lady for two years and I'm almost considering walking down the aisle with her before I started noticing some changes with her, mind you she is 24.



Issue all started when I left Abuja for Lagos for a contract job, before then she had been a very good lady and faithful too. For the time we dated she never demanded from me untill she lost her Step-mum, even at that her demands were untypical of a Nigerian lady, because she always fended for herself unless I willingly intervened.


Problem started when she first visited me and I noticed her long unusual calls, I confronted her but she convinced me with the normal just a friend stuff from female folks. Fast forward to the present day, she has kept her profile of been a good lady before me and family. I even introduced her to my people and from time to time she spends reasonable time
with my ailing father and younger siblings.

The actual trouble bothering me is this, toward the end of completing my contract job, she had accommodation issues and I couldn't lend a hand due to the fact that I had a lot to take care of financially and such emergency spending was not budgeted for. She was so much desperate that I couldn't help looking at her. So I had to use part of my younger brother tuition fee and also borrow from my colleague to help her secure a self contain apartment as well as everything needed to make her feel comfortable, she collected the money from me to give to the agent who was supposed to source for the apartment. She resolved to squat with a friend pending when the apartment would be ready and acquiring necessary furnitures.


Almighty God been so good to me, I got a permanent job offer in a multi-national firm in Ogun state. She came to visit me and I had to pay for her flight ticket to and fro, she just left my house on Tuesday after spending two weeks with me. During her stay with me I found out that the friend she told me she was squating with all those while has been her Ex-boyfriend. And the same person we started having issues over previously due to the fact that she was having sex chat with the said Ex and also another guy who is a member of their family church, which she told me is nothing to worry about that the ex was disturbing her that he his still having problem moving on .


I'm at the cross road and unable to decide whether to end it or wait for her to apologise. Though, I haven't told her of my findings, truth be told she's everything of a
good woman and has really supported me
except for my latest findings.



Am as confused as hell now, I be not even confronted her,
my mind is playing games with me. Pls somebody should
talk to me. All the thoughts I have in mind are so far futile.




NB: no insults please. I'm really unstable at the moment.


YOU CANT ESCAPE INSULT FROM ME MR MAN , HOW MANY TIME I WOULD KEEP SAYING THAT THIS HOLES CANT LOYAL ,ITS JUST YOUR TIME UNLESS YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WOMAN STOP WASTING RESOURCES ON THEM .. LET ME TELL YOU THE FACT THE MONEY YOU SAID ..YOU GAVE AND SHE GIVE IT TO AGENT ,SHEY NA YOUR EYES SHE GIVE AGENT ,ALAYE YOU BE MUMU THE GIRL DEY WINNING YOU THE AND HER BOYFRIEND JUST DEY USED THE MONEY ENJOY THERESELF AFTER SWEET FUVK , YOU BETTER JUST DEY DO LIKE YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ..DEY CHOP HER OILYHOLE NO GIVE HER ANYTHING AFTER SOMETHING SHE GO LEAVE YOU HER THATS HOW STARZ DO
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Rockyrascal(m): 1:49pm On Apr 08
Perfect888:
Somehow on this same issue....
We dated for almost a year
She claimed to love me so much but I discovered that she has multiple partners.
I confronted her and she claimed to do away with all of them but am not still convince and am currently giving her a second chance.
I'm sincerely tired of relationship as it stands now, women are devil.

It's God that will surely help me.
I'm putting everything in God's hand now
I gave my ex a second chance, she lied and cheated again. I found out on Monday, I ended the relationship that same day.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Rockyrascal(m): 2:04pm On Apr 08
PrimadonnaO:


Since he's asking us nonsense questions nau. cheesy
trust me you did the right thing. If you would have continued with the relationship, there could possibly be a long line of mistrust henceforth; therefore taking a toll on your mental health.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Rockyrascal(m): 2:06pm On Apr 08
PrimadonnaO:


Since he's asking us nonsense questions nau. cheesy
.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Rockyrascal(m): 2:08pm On Apr 08
Terry44:
Thanks you all for your input..



I confronted her about it and she was very remorseful about it, she blamed it on circumstances. Also said nothing happened aside the constant chat and all.



Had to end it all because she may go back to such trait if she is faced with another Issue of such nature..


Thanks once again.
trust me you did the right thing. If you would have continued with the relationship, there could possibly be a long line of mistrust henceforth; therefore taking a bad toll on your mental health.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by Rockyrascal(m): 2:10pm On Apr 08
Brunosamel:


number 1: she lied to you, that's a red flag,
Number 2: she is having sex with her ex
Number 3: she is broke
Number 4: long distance na scam

These are red flags what else do you need to know...
When dating a women especially Nigeria ones you need to be very cautious and observant... I won't tell you what to do you already know it, don't let pussy cloud your mind...
this right here is the answer to the OPs questions.
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by jantman(m): 3:10pm On Apr 08
@Terry44

I don't like weak men

I like and respect tender men with great discipline

Be a man with great discipline

I just gave you a coded advice via this msg
Re: Help!!! Please How Do I Handle This Situation???? by healthbing(f): 3:22pm On Apr 08
My only advice for you is not to rush into marriage with her yet..
Talk to her about the situation and sort things out with her then continue dating until you're confident enough to get married

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