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Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? / How Can I Advise A Serial Cheat And Failure Of A Father? / I'm 35 Years Old And I Already Feel Like A Failure In Life (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by awakeuche(m): 8:06pm On May 05
Years back, an Hausa speaking benue guy walked into my father's furniture shop, identifying himself as George and that he was looking for any kind of work. My dad saw his earnestness and asked him a few questions.
Turns out he was 35 and his dad had disowned and cursed him as a failure (his dad was a retired soldier and his brothers and sisters were also in the military).
He had only a primary school education, was destitute and disregarded by his own family because he had nothing at 35.
My dad offered him a job as an apprentice in his shop, a one room accommodation and a discussion on the Igbo peer to peer business training.
He accepted and served my dad diligently for 7 years, and an extra 3 years when asked if he'd like to start his own.
This man is the hardest worker i know, he learnt everything about furniture and interior decor. After his service my father could afford only 2 million to start him off, he didn't dispair as he was a very skilled furniture maker, he opened his own shop, started his own business and as i write, George an Hausa boy (as we teased him then) is married to a fine imo state girl, owns 3 shops, has 3 sons, and his own boys working for him at 48 years old.
He is currently the bread winner of his military family and has taken a title as a small chief in my village. Baba is doing supremely well.
Tow his path sir, it has worked for many, you shouldn't be any different.

5 Likes

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by raysrays(m): 8:07pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.

I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact. My family/parental background wasn't a good one educationally and financially as my parents were just petty traders and this has contributed negatively in achieving my goals and aspirations in life. With the above, you can deduce that there was no sources of funding for my tertiary education so I had to find a job after my secondary school while very ambitious about my furthering my education because I always believed in acquiring education up to university level. This led me to doing several odd jobs such as construction site labourer, security guard, cleaning, barbing, hawking, even to remove soak away and many others just to feed and see myself through school. Let me also add that @33 now, there are some jobs I can't do again because of some changes in my health system occasioned by some of the odd jobs I exposed myself to. For example, any strenuous job now is not for me as it makes me breath heavily like an asthmatic patient; any job that requires standing for long or bending down not for me due to broken waist (although these might be solvable issues but for now, I can't tell cos I have no money to visit health facility).

Moving on, while I may be thanking God for the academic success (even though the school is yet to issue me certificate) but I'm having strong feelings about myself. I feel like I have failed in life. I feel like I am a failure. My mates who got admission into university immediately after secondary school are gainfully employed today, living in comfortable apartment (built or rented), married with kids, have their own car and generally doing well. Even the ones who didn't further but venture into learning trade are doing well too. On the other hand, at 33, I have virtually nothing to show for it. Still living in one thatch house, poor, hungry and starving, no wife, no kid(s) (not even a serious girlfriend), no job, no car and nothing to show for my 33 years on earth. This is why I'm feeling like I have failed in life and it has made me to always be ashamed of myself and always trying to avoid meeting my mates who are doing well.

Also, looking at the country Nigeria, most employers recruit under 30. @33, what are my chances of
landing a good job if I refuse to forge age and go for service but collect exemption letter? What are even the possibility of getting a job as I have no capital for business? Note: between 2019 and now, I've learnt several online money making skills but yet to make a kobo out of it all. Note also: ordinarily, I wouldn't seek employment (private or government) because I'm multi talented e.g in football, entertainment or business but these talents need money to develop which is what I'm lacking.

My questions:
Please what do you all think? Do you think I have failed or I'm a failure in life? What is the future holding for me? As at today, the only thing I can boast of is "I am a graduate". Nothing more...like I said, poor, hungry and starving.

Help me with good pieces of advice please before my mind begins to consider evil as fastest way of making money. Thanks.

My friend your story is missing something for you to blow up, and it is Jesus. As humans we often at time beat our self up over knowing life issues, with little or no knowledge that as a Man we can't help ourselves. You have done well for yourself already wish is fine, but at this point accepting Christ Jesus as your lord and personal saviour is the final piece of the jigsaw. Remain blessed

1 Like

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by BBright1: 8:07pm On May 05
You have to consider backdating ur age and start applying for a job
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Heavensent01(m): 8:14pm On May 05
no you ain't a failure but most time we are the reason for our misfortune most times



as a man growing up, you don't hustle without getting concerned with your age


all these you claimed to do are not even close to what I did grin


I did cheap labour work for good 5years, that Abuad I was part of those cheap labour that started it and finished it, I hawked a lot of things, pepper, fish, lagbegina (corn). I ride keke napep for a year, do taxi driving for 2years


when I clocked 27years I became scared of my age, I was so scared that I triple my hustle, I relate with the street, the street I failed to graduate before going to school, I went back there and to learn and graduated


I can look back today and smile, who are those you're relating with? are those in your level?


note that if you're moving with someone in your level either in status or IQ you will never grow


if you're blaming people for your predicament, you will never move


if you lost hope in yourself as you just did now then there is no redemption



the first thing you should do is to neutralise that your pessimistic thought about yourself, believe in yourself, believe in your dream, goals and objectives


relate with people above your level, move out and stop wailing, complaining and regretting. there are people who went through something tougher than what you mentioned above and they find their bearing


I did my wedding without my parents spending kobo, you just need to sit yourself down, don't ridicule yourself if you're looking for breakthrough and believe in God
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by nosagold(m): 8:14pm On May 05
SimplePlan34:


Why it foolish Jesus never help am since

You are on earth and it is certain that you will one day die. The Almighty is in heaven, and even if you do good or bad, how are you helping him? It is not wise to fall into His hands. Please, tame your tongue

1 Like

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by javaguru: 8:17pm On May 05
I like commenting on this kind of post because it is educating
OP browse about Kentucky chicken. he failed and Rose at 78
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by javaguru: 8:18pm On May 05
I like commenting on this kind of post because it is educating
OP browse about Kentucky chicken. he failed and Rose at 78, he's 2nd richest restaurant after McDonald's
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by decasey(m): 8:18pm On May 05
Hmmm, I was exactly like you before my brother, mean was even worst because I was considering suicide. Brother don't give up even when the road block and every body went black, you have to actually find out it the road is truly blocked. Don't give up continue hustling and pray lock will shine you, try and go for cancelling.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Emperorx: 8:19pm On May 05
Let no man see himself as a failure because u are not in a competition with no one. I have an uncle who got married at age 40 without nothing but today he owns cars and buildings and lands so it not the age that matters but ur courage to carry on. Never stop building.

2 Likes

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by merits(m): 8:20pm On May 05
Officialgarri:
I don't know why many of you always seek public validation when you have a head to think for yourself.

If I call you a success or a failure, it has little or no effect on your effort to strive harder and beyond where you are currently at.

It is left for you to ask yourself; am I comfortable with this stage I am?
Is there something I can do to improve myself?

Asking yourself a few of these questions out of so many is enough to make you decide rather than wait for some faceless people who don't give an actual F**ck about you to encourage you or weigh you down.

This generation of nowadays can't think on their own their thinking faculty is too weak to comprehend with their reasoning so they must bring everything on social media to decides for them.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Xscape1993(m): 8:21pm On May 05
I laugh ooo. You are calling yourself a failure at 33. What is even success? Success does have a particular age my dear. You can be successful at 20, 30, 38, 40 and even 50. You better wake up my dear. There is no excuse for failure.

1 Like

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by highb01(m): 8:23pm On May 05
Bro u not a failure.
Pls don't despair
Believe in yourself and work hard more and more
Soon u will celebrate
Don't let critizers get in to your head
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Olayetan(m): 8:26pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.

I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact. My family/parental background wasn't a good one educationally and financially as my parents were just petty traders and this has contributed negatively in achieving my goals and aspirations in life. With the above, you can deduce that there was no sources of funding for my tertiary education so I had to find a job after my secondary school while very ambitious about my furthering my education because I always believed in acquiring education up to university level. This led me to doing several odd jobs such as construction site labourer, security guard, cleaning, barbing, hawking, even to remove soak away and many others just to feed and see myself through school. Let me also add that @33 now, there are some jobs I can't do again because of some changes in my health system occasioned by some of the odd jobs I exposed myself to. For example, any strenuous job now is not for me as it makes me breath heavily like an asthmatic patient; any job that requires standing for long or bending down not for me due to broken waist (although these might be solvable issues but for now, I can't tell cos I have no money to visit health facility).

Moving on, while I may be thanking God for the academic success (even though the school is yet to issue me certificate) but I'm having strong feelings about myself. I feel like I have failed in life. I feel like I am a failure. My mates who got admission into university immediately after secondary school are gainfully employed today, living in comfortable apartment (built or rented), married with kids, have their own car and generally doing well. Even the ones who didn't further but venture into learning trade are doing well too. On the other hand, at 33, I have virtually nothing to show for it. Still living in one thatch house, poor, hungry and starving, no wife, no kid(s) (not even a serious girlfriend), no job, no car and nothing to show for my 33 years on earth. This is why I'm feeling like I have failed in life and it has made me to always be ashamed of myself and always trying to avoid meeting my mates who are doing well.

Also, looking at the country Nigeria, most employers recruit under 30. @33, what are my chances of
landing a good job if I refuse to forge age and go for service but collect exemption letter? What are even the possibility of getting a job as I have no capital for business? Note: between 2019 and now, I've learnt several online money making skills but yet to make a kobo out of it all. Note also: ordinarily, I wouldn't seek employment (private or government) because I'm multi talented e.g in football, entertainment or business but these talents need money to develop which is what I'm lacking.

My questions:
Please what do you all think? Do you think I have failed or I'm a failure in life? What is the future holding for me? As at today, the only thing I can boast of is "I am a graduate". Nothing more...like I said, poor, hungry and starving.

Help me with good pieces of advice please before my mind begins to consider evil as fastest way of making money. Thanks.

Would you like me to be realistic with you n tell you a story of my life?
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Babayega1: 8:31pm On May 05
Bro e no get who e easy for, the main thing is to work and have FAITH in God.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Gabe427: 8:35pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

.

I hope you see this piece and it helps

1 Like

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by ecomalchemist(m): 8:37pm On May 05
neyohh:


Hmm with everything he explained that guy needs to get out fast, for him the grass will be greener elsewhere defo.

Yes it's not easy neither is it hard, he has half of what he needs, a degree.

All he has to do now is to apply for a master's program, this is free, then look for a bank statement, the hard part.

He's helper might just be around the corner but he must start making moves

Absolutely, the difference between the rich and poor in Nigeria is Information.

The internet has made the world a global village, if as a graduate he cannot put his thinking cap on then his degree ought to be questioned.

He can start by selling other people's product on jiji, Facebook marketplace, twitter, Nairaland, Konga, Jumia, Instagram.

Overseas is good if you want to secure a better future for your kids and have dual citizenship but at some point there's a glass ceiling.
Etc etc.

1 Like

Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by MOTIONTECH(m): 8:40pm On May 05
Nothing anybody will say here will make sense, you have to find your happiness yourself, no motivational speech or comparative analysis can make you feel happy and fulfilled you have to find your own joy
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by CanadaOrBust: 8:41pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.
.

I have to admit I didn’t read your post. Didn’t have to. Assuming u r a failure, SO WHAT? That should be your attitude. Is it not people that are failures? Science has determined that free will is an illusion. What if some people are destined to be failures? Life is 10% your situation, and 90% your attitude towards it. Obviously u can’t be a failure unless u have stopped. So the trick is to be able to happily function despite being a failure. So the first rule 4 ya - don’t take life so seriously, don’t be afraid of being a failure, take risks, make moves, knowing that you’d still be able to function even if it results in u being “a failure”!
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by emzynuel1: 8:43pm On May 05
U are wat u tink u are
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Kopite63119: 8:44pm On May 05
You are not failure; you are hardworking man. Credit to you for your determination and tenacity. You have done well. Remember life is a journey, not a race; though it’s hard, but try not to compare your life with anybody’s life. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Maintain a positive attitude and keep believing while working smart and hard. It’s well with you.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Clinghton: 8:44pm On May 05
First, speak positively about yourself, write what you want in life and how to achieve them,move along with it.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Nosa111(m): 8:48pm On May 05
The more you have to realize success is not just about money in life the lesser your depression will be.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by cobby14(m): 8:51pm On May 05
There is no guarantee your next job will change your life so JUST FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by weslay: 8:53pm On May 05
U are doing well. Education done and dusted. Next get a job and a small side hustle. You should be fine
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by olaodun: 8:54pm On May 05
Thank God for your life , you are not a failure so far you are alive and healthy . some mistakes u have done is not having small biz while schooling but no too late
The way forward , look for small bizes can be doing to make money like collecting goods from wholesaler and sell online and offline thru personal contact or any other ways
Finally take up the challenges of life and move on look for problems to solve and solve it and make money
Dont worry about your mates no competition in life and the first building in the village will not be the best and the last , move on and have hope and confidence in your ability and finally be closer to for divine help.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Neddyogu(m): 8:54pm On May 05
Not until u quit.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by PeachtreeReside(f): 8:55pm On May 05
You are not a failure.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Olatara(f): 8:57pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.

I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact. My family/parental background wasn't a good one educationally and financially as my parents were just petty traders and this has contributed negatively in achieving my goals and aspirations in life. With the above, you can deduce that there was no sources of funding for my tertiary education so I had to find a job after my secondary school while very ambitious about my furthering my education because I always believed in acquiring education up to university level. This led me to doing several odd jobs such as construction site labourer, security guard, cleaning, barbing, hawking, even to remove soak away and many others just to feed and see myself through school. Let me also add that @33 now, there are some jobs I can't do again because of some changes in my health system occasioned by some of the odd jobs I exposed myself to. For example, any strenuous job now is not for me as it makes me breath heavily like an asthmatic patient; any job that requires standing for long or bending down not for me due to broken waist (although these might be solvable issues but for now, I can't tell cos I have no money to visit health facility).

Moving on, while I may be thanking God for the academic success (even though the school is yet to issue me certificate) but I'm having strong feelings about myself. I feel like I have failed in life. I feel like I am a failure. My mates who got admission into university immediately after secondary school are gainfully employed today, living in comfortable apartment (built or rented), married with kids, have their own car and generally doing well. Even the ones who didn't further but venture into learning trade are doing well too. On the other hand, at 33, I have virtually nothing to show for it. Still living in one thatch house, poor, hungry and starving, no wife, no kid(s) (not even a serious girlfriend), no job, no car and nothing to show for my 33 years on earth. This is why I'm feeling like I have failed in life and it has made me to always be ashamed of myself and always trying to avoid meeting my mates who are doing well.

Also, looking at the country Nigeria, most employers recruit under 30. @33, what are my chances of
landing a good job if I refuse to forge age and go for service but collect exemption letter? What are even the possibility of getting a job as I have no capital for business? Note: between 2019 and now, I've learnt several online money making skills but yet to make a kobo out of it all. Note also: ordinarily, I wouldn't seek employment (private or government) because I'm multi talented e.g in football, entertainment or business but these talents need money to develop which is what I'm lacking.

My questions:
Please what do you all think? Do you think I have failed or I'm a failure in life? What is the future holding for me? As at today, the only thing I can boast of is "I am a graduate". Nothing more...like I said, poor, hungry and starving.

Help me with good pieces of advice please before my mind begins to consider evil as fastest way of making money. Thanks.
Did you just called yourself a failure?
And who said can't be better than this?
You're an ingrate, maybe you should sell your life in exchange for death.

People go through shits everyday, life isn't easy, you are even privileged to own a thatched house where you can soliloquies on your life.

I think you are depressed, please leave that house sef, get busy and have it in mind that living isn't easy for everyone and it will only get better.

And be grateful for the little you have, maybe you will get more.

You are not a failure
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Tinyemeka(m): 8:57pm On May 05
WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.

I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact.

I am posting on the assumption that you're currently unemployed or engaged in a very low-income occupation at the moment. If I am incorrect in my assumption, kindly disregard my post.

I've been picking my brain, trying to recommend a career path or jobs you could pursue, given your current situation.

An incomplete list for now:

1. I know a bank that pays its security staff and notecounters around N45,000 monthly. You could go around branches, request an audience with the branch heads, explain your condition to them and I'm pretty sure that something positive will present itself from your interactions. You'll have to move out of Lagos for that salary to cover your living costs.

2. Visit pdfdrive .. net (single dot, no space) to download recent books that will teach you programming. Use your free time to study really really really hard. Develop projects and sell yourself online when you've mastered some skills. I did natural sciences during my undergrad, worked for several years in a totally different field and have suddenly decided to considered software/web development as an alternative career path (hopefully). You can live in Nigeria and earn your salary as an American. Think about that.

3. Some people might disagree, but I see nothing wrong in comparing yourself with your peers (in a positive way). I call it self-appraisal and evaluation. Setting targets and measuring to see how much you have accomplished. Look out for role models and try to emulate them.

My mum (of blessed memory) in those days, used to chide me when I recount my aspirations and things I could have achieved but didn't. She'd draw my attention to my age-mates and how much I may have done compared to them, saying I should always be thankful for what God has done for me. But I really am thankful for all that God has been doing in my life.

About 5 years ago while reading Zuckerberg's bio on wiki, I was shocked to discover that he was my senior by exactly just 1 year (we share the same month), but now, he's already a $ centi-billionaire. And growing. Legitimately acquired wealth. Does he have two heads? What did he do that I could learn from? How can I overcome my weaknesses, leverage on my strength and opportunities to break out of my unsavoury situation?

These are the kinds of questions you should be asking when you compare yourself with your peers.

Also, never forget that God is always around to hear your sincere prayers, to provide you with wisdom and strength in your endeavours, when you truly believe Him.

Regards.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Illuminatiship: 9:00pm On May 05
AuroraB:
What's wrong with you angry
Why you kicking a fellow who's already down
If you can't encourage or advice him, getat naa cry
oga dey oo am not in the mood to borrow you insults tonight so shut up.
Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by billbonesmd(m): 9:02pm On May 05
He's depressed obviously.
Of you can't aid his ordeal, climb back in your comfortable well-lit hole
Officialgarri:
I don't know why many of you always seek public validation when you have a head to think for yourself.

If I call you a success or a failure, it has little or no effect on your effort to strive harder and beyond where you are currently at.

It is left for you to ask yourself; am I comfortable with this stage I am?
Is there something I can do to improve myself?

Asking yourself a few of these questions out of so many is enough to make you decide rather than wait for some faceless people who don't give an actual F**ck about you to encourage you or weigh you down.

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