frozen70:


How can you be sacred of something you have not had the experience of

Ibuzikwa nwoke ?

With the types of girls we have this days, I'd say, his fear is justified.

I, too fear marriage. And I might just decide to have a baby mama.

It's not about being nwoke

My Brother, the truth is that phobia is the absent of maturity not in age, but in mind.
Take PERSONAL decision and have what i call TEMPLAT OF CHOICE before making a step.
If you are a Christian, let this be your watch dog "Proverbs 18:22".
Automatically the so call phobia will die and you'll surely overcome in Jesus name! God bless you.

If you are not married, I advise you do not think about marriage for now. Focus on enjoying your single hood. Stop looking out for someone that fits your spec, it is only then that you can see clearly to know “The One”. I often tell people there is nothing like late or early for anyone of marriageable age. The right time to marry is when you see the one and the one sees you and you are both ready.

larryeffizy1:
Hi folks, I'm Sure we're doing good in our respective places.?
Quick one pls, I really need the help or rather a piece of advice from whosoever has been in this shoe before...; Because it's really affecting my marital life negatively and that's why I'm here if I could get a cool counsel on this platform bikoo; as we all know that a problem shared is half solved... The question is "How May/Can I get rid of Marriage Phobia...?

I'm above 30 and I'm really scared of MARRIAGE... A candid advice from you guys will go along way... Hence, if you have had the experience before, kindly share with me how you go about it and overcame it....


Thanks#

You guys are afraid of marriage but will not hesitate to fvck a married woman

after doing what God ordain only married people to do. it will not be easy for you to enjoy marriage at all. imagine sex that is reserve for married people, you start doing it from your young age. you can't eat your cake and have it. because nothing will be new or exciting to you in the marriage. repent from fornication now!

Juliearth:



That marriages fail is not a yardstick that op's case would be like that. I do not want to dig into why marriages fail because I know you known these things.

And what’s the probability that op’s case will be different ??

He’s about doing same thing they did and ur expecting a different result .


Getting married to a Nigerian girl is risk that should only be taken by a man that has accomplished 80% of his dreams and only have baby making left.

Our women deserve to be happy and enjoy to the fullest with no atom of suffering( their moto).why then should you tie them in marriage when you still have a possibility of suffering .

In conclusion make enough money then pick the next available woman to make babies for yu it doesn’t matter what she is cus they all were the same mess at a point in their life !!!

God will definitely come through if you seek His on this.

Nelson21:
The kind of comments I read these days makes me wonder if I am living among the walking dead.

Anyway...


With everything we see going on in our society today, it's okay to be scared and No, you are not alone in that feeling nor are you the first to feel that way.

I know you're going to say "oh, here we go again, another church freak coming with his sermon" but the truth is to advise you properly, I need to use the Bible.

Marriage is not easy in fact it is a burden to the point that paul encouraged singleness.

1 Corinthians 7:28 : But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.


The divorce you see occuring in many marriages of today started way back in time including the era of moses.

Matthew 19:8-11 : Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.

Did you read the statement the disciples made? It is better not to what? MARRY!

Marriage has been perverted by the devil in so many ways you can't imagine and his most effective/favorite tool or weapon whether you believe or not has ALWAYS been WOMEN.

Remember, there is nothing new under the sun. To bring the downfall of man, the devil used the woman.

So, my dear brother, you have every reason to be scared because the possibility of marrying someone who will make your life miserable is very high.

My advice to you is this. If you do decide to get married, it should be because you want to have children who will take over your wealth and properties, so your efforts in life wont be in vain, not because you want a companion who will "love you and be with you for better or worse." No woman (most especially these modern day, social media addicted, morally and spiritually bankrupt women possessed with the evil spirit of deceit and feminism) will give you that.

You were making sense until you got to the point when you started blaming women for today's marital failures. So men are entirely blame free, abi? So the men that leave women who genuinely love them to go and chase after beauty are blameless? What of the other factors that contribute to marital failure? Why put it squarely at the doorstep of women??

It's not by force. You don't have to get married if you don't want. Don't allow people put pressure on you. It's your life. The fear is normal. Nothing is wrong with you.

Different satanic comments on this thread.

od501:



Ah...adopt two boys? That one is extreme oo. He should have gone to Lekki to give all these baby mamas belle nah...600-800k. After three years you collect ur pikin (with court agreement oo. No gossip).

Dem try shaa... but that adaption own no follow abeg.

You're right.
Some men now engage Naija ladies for that too with written documents to formalise agreements.
And such is paying off seriously.
One pays the lady from here for upkeeps with no marital bond attached at all & she's happy too.

doctor306:


And what’s the probability that op’s case will be different ??

He’s about doing same thing they did and ur expecting a different result .


Getting married to a Nigerian girl is risk that should only be taken by a man that has accomplished 80% of his dreams and only have baby making left.

Our women deserve to be happy and enjoy to the fullest with no atom of suffering( their moto).why then should you tie them in marriage when you still have a possibility of suffering .

In conclusion make enough money then pick the next available woman to make babies for yu it doesn’t matter what she is cus they all were the same mess at a point in their life !!!

Good points noted.

SmellySperm:
My brother no be only you jare. Mk person no go get hypertension coz of woman.

lol that pics can send some simp male to commit suicide

MALIGNANTGuest:

Good points noted.

Ur welcome

One more thing ...

If family members try pressurizing you “change am for them “ na wedding they wan come they no go come quarrel settlement !!!

MALIGNANTGuest:
Please avoid it.
After all you are a MAN.
Of what Joy do you anticipate to derive, if not kids and sex. U can get all these bountifully out there.
These New Generation Ladies are completely different from our foundational mothers who knew what they wanted in marriage.

An average nowadays Nigerian Lady goes into marriage with DAGGERS.
PLs. calm down & engage urself meaningfully.
Please tell me what you need a woman for and I will tell you why you don't need her.
I Live abroad & we have millions of well-to-do bachelors. These Men are now allergic to women.
They look healthier.
They still eat Good Food.
They have kids and drive Good cars
They sign prenuptial agreements a lot too because the Lady whom you think she loves you will definitely give you the shock of your life.

If this is the way ur parents lived I don't think u will be talking like this.
Whether u guys like it or not woman is the greatest gift ever given to man on this earth. Her beauty has no comparison. In fact,I can die for my wife and my two daughters. My only son,shall grow to treasure and respect women irrespective of her colour,tribe,race and religion.

Whatever u think is ur reason for condenming women and upholding single parenting,pls keep it to yourself. We don't need ur likes in our society. Stay put in ur over-sea after all it's not heaven. Don't use ur mouth to cast what God has made holy.

ibechris:



If this is the way ur parents lived I don't think u will be talking like this.
Whether u guys like it or not woman is the greatest gift ever given to man on this earth. Her beauty has no comparison. In fact,I can die for my wife and my two daughters. My only son,shall grow to treasure and respect women irrespective of her colour,tribe,race and religion.

Whatever u think is ur reason for condenming women and upholding single parenting,pls keep it to yourself. We don't need ur likes in our society. Stay put in ur over-sea after all it's not heaven. Don't use ur mouth to cast what God has made holy.

My mothers generation had less whores ...

OGraffix:


Seems you are still a kid ..u think these things you wrote works all the time abi?.. continue ...


Op marriage is good. Just keep calm Nd Nd pray for a better partner

Keep deceiving your small coconut head.
Nigeria ladies are toxic to men.
Just look at the rate at which Nigerian married men are dying.

Married men in Nigeria mostly have a life expectancy of less than 50years all because of the emotional trauma they go through in the hands of women on daily basis.

Marriage is no longer worth it these days.
The bad sides largely outweighs the good sides.

doctor306:


Yes ... and add country code to the prayer cus if ur angel put +234 ur own don finish

ur sins can not be forgiven

sematec:
has anyone heard of marriage phobia before?

Yea it's called Gamophobia

MALIGNANTGuest:

I have too many male friends that are not married here in the states. They are well to do.
They don't want to hear anything about Marriage at all. It irritates them.
One visited Nigeria and adopted 2 Boys on a full scale. The boys will be coming over soon.
MEN are increasingly seeing the reality.
D worst thing dat can happen to any Nigerian man is 4dat Nigerian man to leave the US & travel 2 Naija 2marry a Lady who doesn't love him.
That man will surely have a date with the devil.

That is what I want to do my only problem is family pressure

larryeffizy1:
Hi folks, I'm Sure we're doing good in our respective places.?
Quick one pls, I really need the help or rather a piece of advice from whosoever has been in this shoe before...; Because it's really affecting my marital life negatively and that's why I'm here if I could get a cool counsel on this platform bikoo; as we all know that a problem shared is half solved... The question is "How May/Can I get rid of Marriage Phobia...?

I'm above 30 and I'm really scared of MARRIAGE... A candid advice from you guys will go along way... Hence, if you have had the experience before, kindly share with me how you go about it and overcame it....


Thanks#

Please seek the elders opinions first, then the Lord with prayers and fasting.

Things like is not meant to be shared on Nairaland.

My own opinion is that you shouldn't fear women/marriage after all marriage mostly favours men in African except you are abroad. Just man up and do the needful and get ur own children bcs this baby mama thing they are advising you is not awesome you will not even get those children if don't pay her bride price esp in my area,you will just be baby making machine for the woman esp if she wish to be single too,after which you will be pushed away,just man up and marry make your own babies a t worst you will divorce because singles life doesn't favour men here in African it favor women though. When a man marry it give him more edge than a woman self,you will be regarded more
So don't be deceived.[color=#006600][/color]

If you have a phobia towards something, it might be actually saving you from something else more dangerous. We all have this natural inbuilt fail-safe alarm inside us that tends to alert us when something bad is about to happen, many choose to ignore it and they become a victim of circumstance that way. Though we should face our fear and take on a bigger challenge to propel ourself to a greater height. But does marriage equate to your journey as you dream of success in life? This and many more questions you should ask yourself.

If it is about procreating, there are many ways to go about it peacefully nowadays

doctor306:


My mothers generation had less whores ...

In a nutshell, U have said it all.
I rest my case.

ibechris:



If this is the way ur parents lived I don't think u will be talking like this.
Whether u guys like it or not woman is the greatest gift ever given to man on this earth. Her beauty has no comparison. In fact,I can die for my wife and my two daughters. My only son,shall grow to treasure and respect women irrespective of her colour,tribe,race and religion.

Whatever u think is ur reason for condenming women and upholding single parenting,pls keep it to yourself. We don't need ur likes in our society. Stay put in ur over-sea after all it's not heaven. Don't use ur mouth to cast what God has made holy.

U were in attendance when God made it Holy abi.?
U have your points to make.
The issue remains, most men are getting tired of all these unnecessary insults and pressure.
MEN no longer get to ordinary 60years of age.
Women still attain 90 years of age.
Please redirect your points clearly.
OLD AGE is now a mirage to men
But their wives become great grandma.
Better wake up

All of you that are afraid of marriage, it's not bye force ohhh, but there is no harm in trial
Besides not every person must marry

larryeffizy1:
Hi folks, I'm Sure we're doing good in our respective places.?
Quick one pls, I really need the help or rather a piece of advice from whosoever has been in this shoe before...; Because it's really affecting my marital life negatively and that's why I'm here if I could get a cool counsel on this platform bikoo; as we all know that a problem shared is half solved... The question is "How May/Can I get rid of Marriage Phobia...?

I'm above 30 and I'm really scared of MARRIAGE... A candid advice from you guys will go along way... Hence, if you have had the experience before, kindly share with me how you go about it and overcame it....


Thanks#

1. Have a SUSTAINABLE source(s) of income before you even think of marriage. Do not save up funds to get married and think you will miraculously have more after marriage.

2. Most Naija babes married their partners as escape plan from singlehood and not out of love. If you find someone who doesn't see you as AN OPTION, feel very comfortable to marry her. That is your only pathway to peace of mind and marital bliss

3. Man up and face family life.

4. Good luck

Baba no be only you oo

We dey same shoe

Those girls na hin dey give men hypertension

You ever wonder why we have more widows than widowers

Marriage no even interest me at all

It's posibly na baby mama i go do las las

larryeffizy1:
Hi folks, I'm Sure we're doing good in our respective places.?
Quick one pls, I really need the help or rather a piece of advice from whosoever has been in this shoe before...; Because it's really affecting my marital life negatively and that's why I'm here if I could get a cool counsel on this platform bikoo; as we all know that a problem shared is half solved... The question is "How May/Can I get rid of Marriage Phobia...?

I'm above 30 and I'm really scared of MARRIAGE... A candid advice from you guys will go along way... Hence, if you have had the experience before, kindly share with me how you go about it and overcame it....


Thanks#

larryeffizy1:
Hi folks, I'm Sure we're doing good in our respective places.?
Quick one pls, I really need the help or rather a piece of advice from whosoever has been in this shoe before...; Because it's really affecting my marital life negatively and that's why I'm here if I could get a cool counsel on this platform bikoo; as we all know that a problem shared is half solved... The question is "How May/Can I get rid of Marriage Phobia...?

I'm above 30 and I'm really scared of MARRIAGE... A candid advice from you guys will go along way... Hence, if you have had the experience before, kindly share with me how you go about it and overcame it....


Thanks#

At this stage in a man's life, it's normal to have such fear and this is a good sign that u know what u are really going into.

I'm saying this out of experience. I've been married for close to 12yrs now and trust me u are not out of place to have such a feeling, I had it back then.

At this point u should be able to identify or highlight ur fears about marriage such infidelity, financial capability (ie economic considerations), family pressure, fear of a broken home etc etc (they are so numerous to count).

One big question I asked myself back then in 2008 was whether I was matured enough to take up d responsibilities that marriage will throw at me (maturity in terms of wisdom and economic independence). If the answer is yes, then there is another big question

In terms of my character and attitude, will I marry someone that has my kind of attitude/character ( ie if u are cheat, a liar etc)
If the answer is yes then u are good to go.

Start a relationship that is not premised on marriage and see how it goes. Whoever u wish to spend d rest of ur life must be ur best friend. So d relationship has to be devoid of any secret from both sides no matter how bad d secret is. Nothing blossoms a relationship like good and adequate communication.

Remember u must not get 100% of all d qualities u need in ur partner.

These are some of the qualities that are very important u should look out for in ur would be wife.

1. Is she honest.... Test her on that (there are still honest girls out there) if she is very good

2. What is her relationship with her dad. If she has no good relationship with her dad, she will never respect u as a man and her husband

3. Is she always after what she can gain in d relationship or what will make both of u grow in d relationship

4. Does she keep too many friends. If she does bro that's a red flag

5. Is she always influenced by her family members or peer pressure. If she is bro u will not only be marryingher but in addition other people

6. Check her birth position in d family and see if u can financially bear taking care of the younger siblings assuming she is the first.


Lastly remember, marriage is not for boys and u can't succeed without the owner of the institution who is GOD. Prayer is very very vital

Like I said earlier I've been married to my best friend for close to 12yrs and blessed with 4 wonderful kids. We've gone through d good nd d bad times and it only made our relationship stronger.

I hope this helps

Marriage comes with it's challenges as well as moments of joy and happiness. No matter what you'll experience in marriage, remember that it's isn't normal to be single as a man or woman till old age.
You might have read about failed marriages and perhaps you as well have seen those that stay , enjoy or endure in marriage.

I submit that you aren't ready for now to settle down when it's time, your so called phobia for marriage will surely disappear. I wish you good luck. [color=#990000][/color]

Someone once said and I quote"afraid?, do it afraid"

Socialmedia234:


Keep deceiving your small coconut head.
Nigeria ladies are toxic to men.
Just look at the rate at which Nigerian married men are dying.

Married men in Nigeria mostly have a life expectancy of less than 50years all because of the emotional trauma they go through in the hands of women on daily basis.

Marriage is no longer wort it these days.
The bad sides largely outweighs the good sides.

So cause of all men dying is from marriage abi.....how do u concluded on that...well all men with their perspective.....I won't argue much with u....I HV a personal experience that no matter what.... marriage is still worth it with the right partner.