seunny4lif:
Even when I come dey leave alone, my kitchen is a no go area to anyone.
I have stayed with different people from different countries and Nigerians have this mentality of it’s my brother’s property.
Even when I no dey gree then with my brother’s wife but I still dey respect myself.
My waka then na my room straight once I enter the house else maybe I’m doing house cleaning but funny matter is I dey help her for kitchen but I no dey agree eat her food

At the emboldened, why is that?

cleish:
From your tone I can deduce something awkward, it seem you would like cooking whatever you like to eat anytime you visit. Her fear is that you may start saying it out in public that you COOK WHAT YOU EAT in your brother house, thereby making her a bad sis-in-law to others view.

Cooking in your brother house ain’t bad but doing it everything time & just for you alone...

That's the issue! Why separate pots for God's sake! She might not even take it from anyone.

kingxsamz:


All these rules that make no sense. If you really like a relative of yours, especially one who shares the same blood with your spouse, you wouldn't see anything wrong with them cooking for themselves in your house.
People like to give themselves unnecessary wahala sha. If it was a wealthy home, such rubbish will be the least of things anyone will be bothered about.

What you do in a wealthy home is to place an order and not intruding in a place you are not wanted.Kush is even on his Monika which means he smokes igbo,imagine an Igbo smoker in your kitchen kai.

tragergeorge:

Sharap...
Na make the life be like struggle
Put unnecessary values on natin....

I'm telling you.
People keep stressing themselves and others over unnecessary and useless values that means nothing.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

Your brother is married. His wife first, then his kids....then his parents...before you. This is the order of priority. Stop visiting his kitchen. Ha ba!

Poverty and lack of jobs around are why we have stories like this. If you have a good job, you wont have time to go cook in his house.

Sir, use your head, and respect yourself. Do not make yourself too common in the house. Shift and go hustle your money. God will bless your hustle.

Goodluck!

I doubt any Tradition nor Religion permits you to do so
E chock bah
It's a thing you can achieve through healthy relationships, that's if you are so desperate as in your life is so tied to your cravings that you must use her kitchen
E choke ni
Try not to feature in someone's conversation as a home breaker
E still choke you abi

Shameless Fuul

I just detest this kind of people, TUEEEH ON YOUR FACE.

You're in your brother's house and you're cooking Okra and Eba,as a Glutton that you are, TUEEEH ONCE AGAIN ON YOUR FACE.

Why can't you just go out and get yourself a meal to eat for that moment, to avoid see finish.

HRM Eleba of Eba land, HRM Igwe garri of Garri Kingdom.

As a real niggar that I am, Nobody will come to my house to drag kitchen with my wife and children on no condition. Except my little kid sister's and Mom. Any male I caught in such act will regret his actions. TUEEEH.

Iyaebe:
What you do in a wealthy home is to place an order and not intruding in a place you are not wanted.Kush is even on his Monika which means he smokes igbo,imagine an Igbo smoker in your kitchen kai.

Smh. You're making up a story to sound right.
And did you just assume that no one cooks in wealthy homes? They just order? Your reasoning sha.

They felt bad when own mother cooks talk more of a closer age mate .Don't u Kno that women's second name is called hate

It is totally wrong. Forget those saying that nothing is wrong with it how can you cook soup and eba in the house of your brother with wife and children That kind of food is only meant for the woman of the house to cook. But if she knows that you are a good cook, she will gladly allow you to do it... I guess you are a male that's why she's angry but if you are a woman, then, nothing is wrong tho.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

Joke's on the wife...Uno get problem..infact stop going to your brother's house sef until he invites you and the wife is aware...when u go there,don't use their kitchen...it's all for peace to reign.

Sanchez01:

At the emboldened, why is that?

When I don’t like maggi
Everyone knows that
Once I taste your food and boom maggi ,
I will just run and that’s the reason I no dey eat outside that much

You should have ask for her permission, not all women will like that, she's in charge of the kitchen.

[quote author=kingxsamz post=107487241

Smh. You're making up a story to sound right.
And did you just assume that no one cooks in wealthy homes? They just order? Your reasoning sha. [/quote]You are getting it all wrong, in wealthy homes,there are cooks and other maids to attend to visitors,and yes he's a visitor because its his brothers house and not his own, so he should have simply place an order or take permission from madam and not just exercising some brotherly rights.

Kobojunkiee:
You cook okra soup for only yourself or for the entire household?

Did you also purchase your own ingredients or did you use groceries already in the house to do this?

Is your brother an extremely rich man or does his house also operate on a food budget like most homes do?

And lastly, did you at least clean up after yourself or did you expect that his wife will clean up for you?

The way I see it, there isn't nothing wrong with cooking even if in a friend's house. However, there could be everything wrong with how you do it.

You nailed it bro...100%
@ the bolded

Mercychen:
Young Man, that's tresspassing. You should learn to respect boundaries to avoid insults.

If your brother was not married, it would have been different and you have every right to do as you wish. But as long as he's married, you'll have to wait for the owner to cook and serve you herself except of course you purchased the items with your money.

Even if he or she purchased the items, is it not the house cooking gas he or she will still use. That means he or she still needs to take permission except if she brought her own stove

olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

Seriously, it seems the only part of tradition people do not align with is the one that doesn't pay them.
See how everyone's acting all high and mighty on top kitchen matter.

If it is the tradition that the younger brothers of the husband be called "uncle", they will instantly reject that as a bad tradition. But they wish to keep the other one.

Hypocrisy!!

seunny4lif:

When I don’t like maggi
Everyone knows that
Once I taste your food and boom maggi ,
I will just run and that’s the reason I no dey eat outside that much

Perhaps she felt bad cos you made her feel like she isn't useful or her cooking is bad. It's possible she felt she's not taking good care of you so you had to get the cooking done yourself, just make her understand it's not out of disrespect but you just want to ease her stress and asides that, you were really hungry.

Cooking yourself isnt that bad, just make her understand.

Following

mechanics:
You should have ask for her permission, not all women will like that, she's in charge of the kitchen.

Thank you jare,badge into my kitchen without my permission and I begin to feel you are peeping at my unclothedness. Well,there are instances where he doesn't need to take permission and that's if he's been living with her.

Going through all the comments I realized no hope for Nigeria, there's no difference from The 1960 Nigerians and 2021 Nigerians... very pathetic.

tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

Young man, you are more than wrong to cook soup in your brothers house where there is a wife, if it was to be an indomie or rice, I would have been understood.

[quote author=Obiorahpcfg post=107487176]

That's the issue! Why separate pots for God's sake! She might not even take it from anyone.[/quote

The op graduates from cooking noodles to making soup.. I fears it doesn’t become a regular routine to the op henceforth....

Those in defense of the op doesn’t understand the implications to the marriage if the op continues cooking to eat alone in a married brother house...

Tokskob2008:
Since you are not that close with the wife (I'm guessing you are not from your write up) you ought to ask her permission before you take such step besides you still haven't cleared if you only cooked for yourself alone or the whole family because if you prepared just your own alone then that's very bad and if I was your brother I would be mad at you even before my wife does. No be this Buharic period person go dey decide to burn gas anyhow...

Like seriously you will be mad with your own blood, for cooking in your house because he was hungry, lets assume reverse was the case, do you think your wife will be mad with her own blood for entering her kitchen.
it is the wife perogative to decide what the family eats on a daily so it would be wrong for OP to cook for the entirely family, buh he has every right to decide what he feed himself.
Sometimes when i listen to men of this generation talk it baffles me, must we throw our senses away just to keep getting that sex @ night, where their is love matters like food won't be a topic not to talk of fuss.
if you are well to do & have being generous to ur family , you won't join ur wife nagging over mere eba & okra. i blame poverty

Iyaebe:

You are getting it all wrong, in wealthy homes,there are cooks and other maids to attend to visitors,and yes he's a visitor because its his brothers house and not his own, so he should have simply place an order or take permission from madam and not just exercising some brotherly rights.

Not all wealthy homes have maids or cooks. You need to drop all these unreasonable generalizations. Or when I say "wealthy homes", do you think that I'm referring to families that live in mansions?
Like I said, if you really have likeness for your spouse's own blood, you shouldn't have a problem with them cooking what they want to eat, unless there isn't much left for others. That's why I said "wealthy homes".

I really don't know about those above me saying it's wrong..
But my brothers and sister have free will in my kitchen..
The idea of my blood asking for permission to eat or cook food is an insult to me...
I worked hard for there to be enough and as far there's enough you can kill yourself with Food, just don't waste it and clean up... Finished

jornwhite:





Like seriously you will be mad with your own blood, for cooking in your house because he was hungry, lets assume reverse was the case, do you think your wife will be mad with her own blood for entering her kitchen.
it is the wife perogative to decide what the family eats on a daily so it would be wrong for OP to cook for the entirely family, buh he has every right to decide what he feed himself.
Sometimes when i listen to men of this generation talk it baffles me, must we throw our senses away just to keep getting that sex @ night, where their is love matters like food won't be a topic not to talk of fuss.
if you are well to do & have being generous to ur family , you won't join ur wife nagging over mere eba & okra. i blame poverty

@bolded seems to be the reason in most cases because I don't see how you can get mad over such if there's truly enough.
And yes, it would have been a different case if it was the wife's siblings. People are hypocrites.

Your brother's wife owns the kitchen, including everywhere they call home. You're in her space. So, rules should be followed. Cook the noodles and enjoy your stay. Your brother's wife could be angry because an in-law cooking okro soup when there's a "better" soup means "open challenge." If the homeowner is a bad cook, the aroma and taste of your soup means an "insult" to the appreciation she gets from the man. It could be a matter of self-esteem, respect, and protecting what's hers .

WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER...

Yes, you must take permission. It's her home.

Mood11:
Go and rent your own house
That's the only place you are allowed to swim in and out of the kitchen without permission.

Since you don't know that there is something called unwritten rule and one of such is that you don't go into a family kitchen without their consent.

I concur... weytin full grown Man still dey do for Im brother house, if you don't want insult from your sister-in-law rent your own house.