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Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by pek(m): 10:17am On Nov 10, 2021
Young man, the answer you seek is in the first page. That is, if you are truthful and open minded enough to see it.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by almarthins(m): 10:18am On Nov 10, 2021
olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

It will be well with you, I jus tire for this kind sword drawn boundries set up by culture.if the woman no careful she go get diehard enemies from inlaws.I was raised in a home where you re permitted to enter kitchen and cook for urself, my father's brother had the same privilege to cook whatever they wish to eat and even serve Dem selves, my mum no really care; as far as she is concern na stress free process be that. God forbid poverty. Na poverty fit make person dey say don't do this, don't do that inside my kitchen.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Donaluta(m): 10:19am On Nov 10, 2021
Lol nawa... Even my uncle wife go tell you to cook for the whole family oo... Even store some for fridge cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by cleish(m): 10:19am On Nov 10, 2021
From your tone I can deduce something awkward, it seem you would like cooking whatever you like to eat anytime you visit. Her fear is that you may start saying it out in public that you COOK WHAT YOU EAT in your brother house, thereby making her a bad sis-in-law to others view.

Cooking in your brother house ain’t bad but doing it everything time & just for you alone...

A time will come, you’ll stop eating whatever she cooks and prefer to prepared your own choice little meal in the house...
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Sanchez01: 10:19am On Nov 10, 2021
pocohantas:


Lmao. Toilet it is for me o. Just keep the kitchen clean.
Lol! The toilet seems easier for me to let go of. The reason is that I have a stash of toilet cleaners and wouldn't mind cleaning properly before using it. You see that kitchen, ehn... Even if you have left after a few days, I'd still feel it was violated no matter how careful you were in there.

I am kitchen-obsessed.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Awoleesu(m): 10:19am On Nov 10, 2021
Dear OP,
Our culture and family orientation (background) has a great deal of influence on how we see things.

It is difficult to judge whether you're wrong in your action or not because issues of family relationships are relative - what's a norm in one home is a taboo in another!

But, as a thumb rule for civilized individuals, I think you should have first observed how things are done in your brother's home... Ask questions, seek permission, be sensitive to how he and wife run their things. This will guide you on doing things under their roof without incurring their disdain or embarrassing yourself.

So, if that woman has shown displeasure over your cooking in her kitchen, start responding by apologizing (most women would be pacified by this singular act), then ask to know what you may have gotten wrong (it shows you're willing to fix your bad). Lastly, if she tells you not to cook in her kitchen, cease forthwith!

6 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by freshkpomo(m): 10:20am On Nov 10, 2021
olabrinks:
I’m not being funny but women born after 1990 should not have this stupid olden day mentality of the “kitchen belongs to me only”. It’s weird and stupid. The Kitchen does not belong to the wife of the house, if someone is hungry and they want to cook, let them cook. If someone wants to bath will they ask for permission before using the bathroom? What nonsense.

You are wrong, women of those days where even more flexible and submissive than these current generation who does not feel married to the family of their husband.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by abimbola74(m): 10:20am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls
Aside the fact that he is married Slf , me personally, I hate it when one walks into my kitchen to cook food for their self alone. Cook everybody’s food if you want to cook. Moreover if each individual walks into the kitchen to cook what they feel like eating, do you think it’s reasonable. It’s either you wait till one cook everybody’s food or you cook for everybody.
We have different upbringing though buh for my papa house den, if uno go eat wetin dem cook, goan take garri ni ooo

6 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by WhatCanIsay(m): 10:21am On Nov 10, 2021
Annwrites:
What do you mean in your brother's house?

It's not his house. It belongs to both your brother and his wife.

Meanwhile, it would have been best if the wife communicated why she feels bad. I can think of so many reasons, but it's very hard to tell which for her.

It's her house, and should be able to communicate clearly even to her in-laws without mincing words. Like I always say, health relationships are built by healthy boundaries and of course, clear communications.

Not his brother's house. His brother and wife's house? His brother family house?

What is the terminology to use?

If you visit your married sister's "house" and a friend was particular about where you are, what is the terminology you will use?

I am at my sister and her husband's house? Won't you simply say, "I'm at my sister's house?"
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Qatar2022: 10:21am On Nov 10, 2021
Mood11:
Go and rent your own house undecided
That's the only place you are allowed to swim in and out of the kitchen without permission.

Since you don't know that there is something called unwritten rule and one of such is that you don't go into a family kitchen without their consent.
Oga / madam there's nothing wrong with what she did but women always find trouble where there's no problem
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Sparkle777(f): 10:22am On Nov 10, 2021
You don't know how they've been managing, u just carry yaa big nyash enter kitchen dey use her ingredients. Next time you are coming, bring yams, rice, beans , gari etc. I bet u came empty handed but will be cooking as if u know whether she's saving her condiments.
I dnt have problems wit ppl entering my kitchen or cooking, just dnt use the meat I plan to cook a week's soup and cook for urself only and even chop am finish. Then expect me to be happy. When I visit in-laws I dey dey careful, sometimes I go out to eat and help them by buying some food stuff.
Madam, abeg go find another place to stay.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by N2B2: 10:22am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

What are you doing in your married brother's house?

Go & rent your own, and no one will dictate what you cook.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Truvelisback(m): 10:23am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls
Maybe she is a poor cook that's why she wanted u to cook indomie only. Perhaps, u preparing a nice soup is a big threat to her and she don't want her husband(ur brother) to fall in love with ur meal and ignore hers.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by aribisala0(m): 10:23am On Nov 10, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
I hope this is sarcasm! undecided
No it is Soundgasm
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by elbaraj2020(m): 10:23am On Nov 10, 2021
As for me, I believe the woman is suffering from poverty syndrome, if they are rich would she even have time to notice who cook n who dnt cook in her kitchen? Food, food, food what rubbish is that? Just because of bloody Okra n eba? Na wa o...maybe she is the type that sees food as the most important thing in life, for me you have done nothing wrong...I suppose everyone has the right to eat whatever he/she wants to eat except the means is limited...
Some people tag her a stranger, will she equally behave same way if it were her sister? All this women who always want to segregate dey vex me...they will treat their family nice, act wicked to their in-laws...

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by tragergeorge(m): 10:24am On Nov 10, 2021
Iyaebe:
Very wrong, its same as stripping her naked. kitchen is a private business strictly for the madam of the house and only with her permission can you go into her kitchen to cook, you should have simply demanded that which you cooked for yourself from her,at least you have that right.
Sharap...
Na make the life be like struggle
Put unnecessary values on natin....
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by seunny4lif(m): 10:24am On Nov 10, 2021
Even when I come dey leave alone, my kitchen is a no go area to anyone.
I have stayed with different people from different countries and Nigerians have this mentality of it’s my brother’s property.
Even when I no dey gree then with my brother’s wife but I still dey respect myself.
My waka then na my room straight once I enter the house else maybe I’m doing house cleaning but funny matter is I dey help her for kitchen but I no dey agree eat her food grin

Sanchez01:

I am territorial even as a male and I protect my kitchen far more than I'll ever protect my personal toilet.

Since you are or the wobe generation, you probably may never understand that the space of married couples is 100% theirs save they give you permission to use it, be it the kitchen, bathroom or toilet. That you live with them does not give you the right to encroach and trespass, save you are asked to freely use the space. Even at that, the 'freely' comes with some level of unspoken rules. In the case of the OP, he cooked for himself which makes it worse. You don't go to people's spaces and cook for yourself. Two major 'visitation sins' there!

If you don't like it, simply leave.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by N2B2: 10:25am On Nov 10, 2021
Qatar2022:

Oga / madam there's nothing wrong with what she did but women always find trouble where there's no problem

Rubbish. The house (and probably the food items too) belong to the married brother and his wife.

The OP can go and get a place of his/her own, instead of stirring the pot in his married brother's home.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by almarthins(m): 10:25am On Nov 10, 2021
cococandy:

I agree.
But being on this forum has shown me that people actually do take their kitchens very very seriously so I’ve learned to try and not be biased about it. I guess?

I personally would want anyone staying with me to feel very free to cook and eat as they please.
If they are messy, then it’s a different issue.

Everything for Africa na gra gra. I jus tire for those kind yeye culture.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by kingxsamz(m): 10:25am On Nov 10, 2021
There's nothing wrong with that. Anyone who tells you otherwise na busy body.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Nobody: 10:25am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise...

Do you live with him or did you go visiting?

It is common knowledge that the woman owns the kitchen.

Besides, the woman may have measured everything in the kitchen and projected how long they would last, and your action would alter that.

Besides, she may have bought some items/foodstuff herself, which would mean you're eating her sweat.

Lastly, should you even cook in your brother's kitchen, especially when he has a family? That's why I asked that question earlier.

Bro, your brother is married now, so it's best that you respect his privacy and that of his wife. His kitchen should be out of bounds to you.

I also hope you cleaned up after cooking and washed the plates.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Tapout(m): 10:26am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

So some people can be very sensitive to things like this, especially women. For instance, I once cooked spaghetti in my aunt's house and she was not comfortable with it when she found out. To her, it was like I wasn't being fed well under her roof even though that was clearly not the case.

Except your brother's wife is not a good cook herself.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by ominilongest(m): 10:27am On Nov 10, 2021
if my bro come my house and cook my wife con dey do somehow, guy she go find her load outside. Family over any fkcing pussy any day any time...bye
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Obiorahpcfg: 10:29am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls

It is very very wrong! You will behave same, if you are in her shoes! The simple truth is that, both of you are not in good terms. She will never raise and eye brow if things are moving on well with the both of you.

2) Why on earth will you even think, of cooking a separate pot of soup in someone else's kitchen! You are damn too rude and arrogant my dear! Dts her matrimonial home and not a public kitchen you know?

3) being your brother's wife, should not give the impetus to neglect her right as a woman and madam of the house!!!!!!.

My candid advice is this

I. Pls make peace with her, apologize to her right away because you are very lucky to have her as a wife. My type of person would given you a correct beating of your life before throwing you out of my house

2. Pls go and marry and have your own home and see if you can tolerate this trash!!!

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Nobody: 10:29am On Nov 10, 2021
jaxxy:


African/Nigerian women and unnecessary kitchen rules gets me tired. Yawns*
It is the truth
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Wantedmiller: 10:29am On Nov 10, 2021
Annwrites:
What do you mean in your brother's house?

It's not his house. It belongs to both your brother and his wife.

Meanwhile, it would have been best if the wife communicated why she feels bad. I can think of so many reasons, but it's very hard to tell which for her.


It's her house, and should be able to communicate clearly even to her in-laws without mincing words. Like I always say, health relationships are built by healthy boundaries and of course, clear communications.

Ahaaaa

What do you expect him to say.....his brother and wife house?

For Christ sake.....it is his brother's huz....any how you look at it.
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by kingxsamz(m): 10:30am On Nov 10, 2021
Iyaebe:
Very wrong, its same as stripping her naked. kitchen is a private business strictly for the madam of the house and only with her permission can you go into her kitchen to cook, you should have simply demanded that which you cooked for yourself from her,at least you have that right.

All these rules that make no sense. If you really like a relative of yours, especially one who shares the same blood with your spouse, you wouldn't see anything wrong with them cooking for themselves in your house.
People like to give themselves unnecessary wahala sha. If it was a wealthy home, such rubbish will be the least of things anyone will be bothered about.

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Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Misterone: 10:31am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls
what you should know is that the kitchen is one of the offices of the lady of the house. you brother has no say there. therefore respect the wishes of your sister in-law however she wants it. if she say "no go there" then no go there.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by rita25(f): 10:32am On Nov 10, 2021
you are the type that want to control ur brothers marriage.......why must you cook in her kitchen? is that how ur ur fathers brothers behaved to your mum? pls give people what you can take. edakun

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by aribisala0(m): 10:32am On Nov 10, 2021
Aiye gba Tapa o n ko ile igunnu
Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by prophetfire: 10:32am On Nov 10, 2021
tolakush92:
Good evening nlders I’ll be very brief and precise .This thing has been bothering my mind and I felt I should seek for reasonable and experienced opinions from senior men them on this forum .

The issue is .. is it a bad thing to cook in my Brothers house (although he has a wife and kids ) .His wife felt bad yesterday cus I cooked small okra and Eba cus I was hungry . The only food she likes me to cook in her kitchen is indomie . I feel if there Is love what’s there if I cook anything I want to eat in the kitchen .must I always take permission to cook

Pls I want to know if it’s right or wrong

Front page pls
Tell her before you do that. You don't know how she has arranged her kitchen and scheduled her stuffs. I don't even enter my brother's kitchen when I visit, not to talk of cooking on my own. Though I am very friendly with his wife. Learn to respect boundaries and unwritten rules.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Cook In My Married Brother's House? by Nazacent: 10:32am On Nov 10, 2021
'Your brother's family' not 'your married brothers house'
Every single member of that family has the right to throw you out with or without your brother's consent.

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