~Minx~:

@ Monkeyleg I have asked myself the questions and i have my answers but still it doesn't help me. I had an affair because maybe I felt something was lacking in my marriage, by the way I didn't plan for it to happen. It just happened so quickly and before I knew it I was hooked on to the other guy.

Like I said earlier, I am so scared of telling my husband this because of how he might react. I know the type of person he is and he wouldn't take it lightly. I do not want to be divorced I want to try and make my marriage work and telling him will just crush any hopes of this ever working out.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME, HOW DO I QUOTE A SPECIFIC POST BY SOMEONE? THANKS

~Minx~:

@ Iyabasira,

I hear what you are saying about the truth but i don't have any guarantee that he will accept it and forgive me, what if he doesn't? What then?

~Minx~:

@ Iyabasira,

Yes[b] I was wrong[/b] I shouldn't have been involved with the other guy at all[b] but it just happened, I didn't plan for it to happen and I sincerely regret[/b] it but I don't think telling him is going to make things any easier.

monkeyleg:

@~Minx~,

There is something about concealing information of this nature in a marriage that isnt good. You can not profess to earnestly seek change, if you are not prepared to come clean. Yes the risk exists that it might get worse, but I hate to think of what would happen if you dont tell him and he finds out, and believe me this things do come out one way or the other.

I am not going to pass judgement on anyone, cos I am not in a position to, but if he has openned up and told you excatly what he has been up to, then I think you owe him the truth, no matter what. There is something about the truth setting one free, you might be surprised of what the outcome might be

monkeyleg:

@Pukkah,

This is not one of those situations where truth needs to be withheld unless requested. The union called marriage is based on love, truth and trust. I cannot see how telling the truth can help, after all the other party own up. No one should expect to be in this situation and hope for a jolly ride.

The Virginity of the marriage has been broken, trying to find a back door in, is really no way to go about a fresh start

Altimately the decision rests with the Poster

spikedcylinder:

Confess what? Don't confess anything oh!!!! Seal that your mouth with super glue abeg oh!!! Someone that is traditional like him, you want to tell him you cheated on him abi? Chea-gini?! Be prepared to wave bye bye to your marriage, if you do that.
When people are in long term relationships, marriages etc, [b]the feelings tend to fade after sometime and it takes work to bring back the spark again. Since you still willing to make your marriage work, I'd advise that you both try to start afresh and put all these ugly affairs behind you. End your adulterous relationship and spend more time with your husband abeg. [/b]Try and remember the things that made you fall in love with him to the extent of marrying him in the first place.

I hope things work out for you because in the end, we are all humans.

Pukkah:

The circumstances in which the other party 'owned up' is not clear or the same as the one at hand. In other words, did he simply walk up to his wife (the poster) and confessed or was found out by the wife and had to choice but to own up?

exolve:

I advice you to leave the guy and accept your husband's apology and continue with your family

evilspirit:

this marriage was never meant to be.you married for the wrong reasons thats why you likely stopped loving him.you are a very loose woman.tell him and move on and bear whatever the outcome.this is an after effect of pre marital promiscuity

Fhemmmy:

Should she confess to the husband?

monkeyleg:

So she doesnt tell him, then she starts living a lie, only for it to come out somewhere in the future, what happens then?