Ask about the burial rites that will be followed if her mum dies. If you know this, you can carry on with the marriage.

My parents always remind me to stay away from akwa ibom girls. This is one of the reason.

If shes an AKS girl and you realy want her just do it.

If no funds try to come to an understanding with them

End that journey now before u even start it. What kind of rubbish tradition is that? Those people are selfish, evil and wicked.
There are other women out there. U have been warned.

McEphiks:


It is like that where I come from as well. Its nothing like double bride price... its just little things most times less than 10 percent of what you'd spend paying your wife to be bride's price

A daughter can't be married when the mom is not according to out tradition.

Modified: the bride price can be paid by anybody in the family either her brothers or her son if she have a grown son.

I will be short on this if you really loves her enough go ahead and pay it won't take anything away from you rather it will give you more upper hand in the relationship.

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

Shey you wan marry them both ni?

Our mumu no too much like this soooooooo.
I was laughing till it dawned on me that it's an African Thing. We all have that one stupid traditional rite/ custom in our different towns and villages that absolutely makes no sense. Laugh at the OP for all I care. If them check your village own everywhere go burst... OP pay the thing if you love the girl. Get a good deal sha. Make them sha subsidize am for you. Both mother and daughter must be discounted by at least 40%. Na marry you wan marry nor be person you kill.

quoteee author=Datboredberry post=110821102]Lol...

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?

A way for the family to cashout? [/quote]

luminouz:


You started it well but ended it horribly.
Either the late father's brothers or the mom's sons or brothers should do the needful.
The mere fact that the fiancee is trying to game the guy this early in their journey is also a red flag for me.

Bros, the husband to be didn't tell us how financially boyant his prospective in-laws are and from experience, this kind of game play out where the guy is seen as the Messiah the will eventually wipe away the shame. So I thought beyond the surface while drawing my conclusion.

I want to believe some of the stories are cooked because what the fvck

Drsnives:

Then any of her family members should do the needful and not disturb me, haba.
Let's assume i should pay, what's next after that? I go come dea lash her too ni?

From this particular response of its....Ur story seems more like just tales of mere fabrications...

Zonefree:
Ask her, after paying her mum's bride price, will her mum be your wife?

Datboredberry:
Lol...

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?


A way for the family to cashout?

Every thing about African traditions na for cashing out. Know this and know peace. Money is the name of the game. If u can negotiate in the market, negotiate a way out.

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

I don't think she is talking about bride price In particular cos it's not costly, some people take as low as 1500 naira. I think the one she is talking about is (Igbu Ewu ogodo). it is done for the kinsmen and born daughters of the community. it involves the goat ,drinks and small requirements that re due to the kinsmen. if a woman did not do the ceremony before her son or daughters marriage, she is expected to do it before the son's or daughters marriage can go ahead. it is not ur responsibility but you can help, just to expedite the whole process since the dad is late. this is how it is fine in Igbo land, don't know where your wife hails from.

Datboredberry:
Curiousity killed the cat

Where you from
Make we know bcoz they don’t practice such anymore. I know the widow do shave her hair but not to sleep on the grave side for a week my mom did not do that non my uncle wife.

The bride price is to be paid by any one from the late husband's family. I wonder why they waited this long. The way it is now,the children of the late man belongs to the maternal grandfather.

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

Which kain mumu tradition be that

alizma:

Bros, the husband to be didn't tell us how financially boyant his prospective in-laws are and from experience, this kind of game play out where the guy is seen as the Messiah the will eventually wipe away the shame. So I thought beyond the surface while drawing my conclusion.

I get you but I wouldn't still advise the guy to do it. It's always a prelude to severe manipulation. Why can't the mom find the money herself and give it to her relations through proxies in her late husband's family?

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

Yes ...it happens in Delta

Candidlady:


Her mum is in her late 30s...

How old is the girl ? _______

I wanted to ask the same question o!

I come in peace biko

pashiano:


I don't think she is talking about bride price In particular cos it's not costly, some people take as low as 1500 naira. I think the one she is talking about is (Igbu Ewu ogodo). it is done for the kinsmen and born daughters of the community. it involves the goat ,drinks and small requirements that re due to the kinsmen. if a woman did not do the ceremony before her son or daughters marriage, she is expected to do it before the son's or daughters marriage can go ahead. it is not ur responsibility but you can help, just to expedite the whole process since the dad is late. this is how it is fine in Igbo land, don't know where your wife hails from.

Didn't you read the last paragraph of what you quoted

Datboredberry:
Lol...

Many things we do in Africa don't make sense...

You're not getting married to her mother, why should you pay the woman's bride price?

A way for the family to cashout?

Even culture is dynamic. Some old time traditions will have to give way

expert555:


I will be short on this if you really loves her enough go ahead and pay it won't take anything away from you rather it will give you more upper hand in the relationship.

You are an expert on something else maybe ...but not on this.

Her mum late 30s?

Na secondary school girl you dey date?

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

Bros am from the same local government with ur girl..but i have never heard of that kind of tradition in ukwuani land.
I think i will call my mum or grand ma on ur behalf so that i will ask them.

JUSTDREY:
With what you just said, i can now confirm that the message is true, have heard such from a lady friend while in school of what his boyfriend must do to have her as legally wife. Funny enough, she told me she was warning his dad to pay off her mom bride price in other not to make her boyfriend pay the rest on her mom. There are consequences for any woman off bride price in their family which i may not sure of.

Ok...so I guess your lady friend has her mom as a first wife to her husband shey?

Because whoever bride price I pay becomes my wife. So if I'm paying her mom's bride price, it means her mom is also my wife! Which is an abomination

Well if u really want to make her ur wife, go to her place in the village n demand to see her father. Na the man go put u through. N if what she said is true, I il advice u to just walk away. When she don tire to stay her Papa house, them go find way go settle the bride price of her mum, so she can marry. Useless people looking for who to obtain.

Drsnives:
Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.

I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.

Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?

Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing.
I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed

Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.

If you go ahead,you would regret it.

strange but true, I dunno much about the rights of the said local gov your baby is from but the thing is this, if you really love the said girl. Why don't you encourage her to finish are education and start something or learn a skill because the burden will be on you mostly all the the time.

However, will you begin to bed the said mother too?, If you have the cash jus pay Thier bride price at once and carry on and that if you love the said banny. If you don't don't waste ha time and yours jus move on there are pretty good girls every where.

Oga, PAY IT.

Op trust me , if you try to pay the bride price for her mum...And you finally marry the gal...Her parent(her dad and mum) financial burden will be on You......Take it or leave it

Bride price is symbolic. Paying the bride price of her mother is as good as marrying both mother and daughter. Do not start what you cannot finish. You won't like the implications.

Zonefree:

Late 30s could be 38.
Say the girl is 20. Her mum gave birth to her at 18.

Why asking her age? Is 20 not old enough for marriage? Or giving birth at 18 is a sacrilege in your village?

ha., that age question is very importanter.. with your own analysis, if the girl is 20 and her mum was 18 when she gave birth to her, this may mean she was begotten out of wedlock.. the father maybe dead but thats also not something i believe.. they are just trying to cash out from you ni ogbeni.. ma da awon alatenuje buruku loun.. talk to them..what am even saying.. for you to be asking such question on nairaland, you be those kind men be that.. smips abi what do they call it.. i dont have advice for you.. do what pleases your soul..olorun a wa pelu e

Look for better family go marry!!! Don't even try paying the bride price of her mother. Avoid spiritual bondage and problems in the future.