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My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by thegroomspa(m): 1:14pm On Oct 03, 2022
Enny2013:

Lol...Neva knew u were dat emotional

I am, because am human...
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by skondo09(m): 1:28pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Thanks friends for your input....

I have made up my mind to quit, it's hard for me but I have to move on...

Looking for best subtle way to tell her...

It's really hurts you may not understand...

If I may tell you my piece..
It's not that u have found any evidence that she's been 'mating' with him..or she's been flirting with any other guy to your knowledge.. of you have marriage in mind, give her another chance with a more closer study, and don't rush things just because you are 35yrs old
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by kelspinall(m): 1:30pm On Oct 03, 2022
gals do misbehave alot,she may have no feelings for the guy but only wanna pull ur legs and make ya jealous,last time a gal i showed interest on started flirting with other guy in my section and acted she no longer notice me,i had to move on and replace her with 2.now she's 3rd on ma list to chat with.. here's my point,she maybe pulling ur legs just to make you mad,a gal told me that..boss you we're too weak and insecured to call it a quit, you should have told her that she should stop it or something goes wrong maybe break up than concluding soo fast seriously some guys are devils ooo,una go see 2 wey ready to marry in the next few months and you still geh mind to flirt with their gals even in front of them,boss you should tell that your colleague to know his lane and boundaries,but you didn't,now the foolish guy is spoiling things and lastly na only knak em go wan knack and ghost the gal.... relationship wahala too much,God help una wey dey do am..

we don hang boot..
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by thegroomspa(m): 2:13pm On Oct 03, 2022
kelspinall:
gals do misbehave alot,she may have no feelings for the guy but only wanna pull ur legs and make ya jealous,last time a gal i showed interest on started flirting with other guy in my section and acted she no longer notice me,i had to move on and replace her with 2.now she's 3rd on ma list to chat with.. here's my point,she maybe pulling ur legs just to make you mad,a gal told me that..boss you we're too weak and insecured to call it a quit, you should have told her that she should stop it or something goes wrong maybe break up than concluding soo fast seriously some guys are devils ooo,una go see 2 wey ready to marry in the next few months and you still geh mind to flirt with their gals even in front of them,boss you should tell that your colleague to know his lane and boundaries,but you didn't,now the foolish guy is spoiling things and lastly na only knak em go wan knack and ghost the gal.... relationship wahala too much,God help una wey dey do am..

we don hang boot..

Thanks bro, my colleague in question is married to an older Nigerian woman abroad. It does pricks me when ladies don't make findings and just do things as they are...

4 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by babavik: 2:13pm On Oct 03, 2022
Mom007:
Its called love at first sight. Its magnetizim. You can't fight it... Just leave them. Its not something you fight her over. Just talk it out and tell her to pursue her heart. Your own too will come. Look, I've been happily married for almost 10yrs and I am fully convinced that there is one person created by God for everyone. She may have just stumbled on her person in that your friend. Let them be. Your own too will come and when it does, you see those sparks flying between them both? Your own too will come.
Cheers.

So once you miss that one person, you can never marry right??
grin grin
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by kelspinall(m): 2:21pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:


Thanks bro, my colleague in question is married to an older Nigerian woman abroad. It does pricks me when ladies don't make findings and just do things as they are...

thats how careless ladies are and tomorrow the chop breakfast and label innocent guys "dogs" when they're the real problem of the self...good luck boss
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by manmade(m): 2:27pm On Oct 03, 2022
The guy is your fiancee ex and they're back together courtesy of you.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by thegroomspa(m): 2:34pm On Oct 03, 2022
manmade:
The guy is your fiancee ex and they're back together courtesy of you.

Funny you... can't believe I could laugh being in pain over this.... thank God am better now.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by HolyMan12: 3:03pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Continue...

She went back to work, and later that day evening I started receiving a message on Whatsapp from her friend I once meet asking want happened between I and her friend...

On explaining things to her, she said there was nothing wrong that if I love her friend enough that shouldn't be an issue...

I was so angered that I stopped replying to her friend...

Then my girl started texting me on Whatsapp apologizing and at the same time swearing with her life that she can't sleep or do anything that her head and her heart are heavy...

I became afraid so she doesn't hurt herself, I then replied her and fixed a place to meet her after work...

We meet and I pointed out everything she burst to tears saying it wasn't true that it's not what I think and was swearing with her life...

I told her I forgave her...

This month made it the 7th month and we have not mated, since we met ourself...I initiated it to ease up a little bit...we've made love twice now...

But I still feel insecure when ever about her and don't trust her...

I feel like quitting...




I was so pained


Una never mate? cheesy

You never mate with the other animal?

Chai grin say na mate grin grin
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by placeofallure(f): 3:10pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Continue...

She went back to work, and later that day evening I started receiving a message on Whatsapp from her friend I once meet asking want happened between I and her friend...

On explaining things to her, she said there was nothing wrong that if I love her friend enough that shouldn't be an issue...

I was so angered that I stopped replying to her friend...

Then my girl started texting me on Whatsapp apologizing and at the same time swearing with her life that she can't sleep or do anything that her head and her heart are heavy...

I became afraid so she doesn't hurt herself, I then replied her and fixed a place to meet her after work...

We meet and I pointed out everything she burst to tears saying it wasn't true that it's not what I think and was swearing with her life...

I told her I forgave her...

This month made it the 7th month and we have not mated, since we met ourself...I initiated it to ease up a little bit...we've made love twice now...

But I still feel insecure when ever about her and don't trust her...

I feel like quitting...




I was so pained


Well, humans especially women, are difficult to read. She may not mean to date your friend. He may just have made an impression on her that she found so captivating and she was too careless, maybe naive, to manage well. If she really wants to Bleep your friend, if she's a pro, you won't catch any wind of it.

When I was still dating my husband, his home was a Mecca of some sort to his numerous friends. There were about two of them that I liked a lot. Even when I complained about the others intruding into our privacy, I never did about those two or three, if they like, they can stay till forever. One of them buys me things like perfume, make up kits, gives money and all as if he were my bf. My bf knows cause he never did it behind him. He buys Tshirts, shoes for hubby too. The other one, we just jelled. We can gist for Africa. At times, he comes accidentally when his friend is not around, we gist - normal gist and I see him off, distance of 500 m, beyond even. At times, he comes with his babe too. Trust me, just plain likeness. He never acted like he'd take me to bed, neither did the thought ever crossed my mind too. Just undiluted friendship.

It's true you acted too quickly. Who knows? She may be the loose type of girl. You would have lurked longer in the dark and waited for them both to fall before you react. I wish you good luck with her.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by wonder233: 3:11pm On Oct 03, 2022
Who needs the hints? Who hints epp? When you resist Females trying to turn you to a cuckold, they start trying to mock you with the whole "you're insecure b.s
Michelle70:
Chai, wonders have finally ended.

I'll say u acted too quick and insecure, now it will be difficult for her to drop hints again
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Mom007(f): 3:15pm On Oct 03, 2022
babavik:


So once you miss that one person, you can never marry right??
grin grin
Oh you can marry... You may even be happy but you'll miss that feeling of having met your soulmate.
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Joeyfizzo: 3:46pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Hi friends...

Can't sleep tonight cos of whole lot of thought going on inside of me.

Let me be brief, please permit me.

I was posted to another state on work related matter, there I meet this pretty lady. I am 35 yr she's 34 so we got along her kind behavior and her openess captivated my heart and after 3 months I said to myself I think I have found my missing rib.

Things were looking good, am actually based in one of the state in the north where am being posted from Abuja and what happens is my company sends personel from Lagos to come assist me and the person sent stays for 2month after which another person comes to replace him.

Anytime I have a colleague sent from Lag and my fiancee visit I do introduce her to my colleague as my person to be...two of my colleagues who have seen her before going back to Lagos have told me she will make a good wife.

I love and cherised her so much even when my job doesn't really pay me that much due to the part of the country where I found myself I still try to squeeze the little I have just to make her happy though she's not too demanding...

A month ago, a personel was sent from Lag on hanging out, my fiancee called me on phone I asked her where she was and told her to come see me where I was with my colleague cooling off after a busy day. She came and I introduced her to this guy they exchanged pleasantry but because we were done as at the time she arrived we dashed out immediately.

She returned back home while I and my colleague took a tricycle to our place of rest.

As we got home I noticed the mood of my guy
changed, on trying to know why he said mehnnn I like your woman she's my kind of woman...I laughed it off.

So we have meet at different places together, until the unusual began happening....my girl will call me up and will be asking after my guy on a daily basis.

She did it to a point one day, she called told me I should tell my friend she asked after him that even if she knows I was not going to tell my friend that I should tell him she's greeting him the same way my guy disturbs me about her.

One day she called me while she was at work and am off, asked me if she could bring food for me of course I accepted though she does that occasionally.

As she arrived we sat in company lodge we discussed for sometime...and only God knows how many times she was asking after my guy.

My guy was not around at the same time I wanted to know what happens when my guy returns from the gym...

Before then I took my laptop and was operating while I wanted to see if my instinct is on point. while on the laptop my guy came in, from the gym they both greeted and on the guy teasing her on what to offer her or to take her out my fiancee was so engrossed that she never knew when she told me openly she missed my guy....



she is into ur guy. She will sleep with him in ur presence or behind ur back ...that ur guy is a BASTARD!... He will f*ck her n dump her

3 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by thegroomspa(m): 4:07pm On Oct 03, 2022
placeofallure:


Well, humans especially women, are difficult to read. She may not mean to date your friend. He may just have made an impression on her that she found so captivating and she was too careless, maybe naive, to manage well. If she really wants to Bleep your friend, if she's a pro, you won't catch any wind of it.

When I was still dating my husband, his home was a Mecca of some sort to his numerous friends. There were about two of them that I liked a lot. Even when I complained about the others intruding into our privacy, I never did about those two or three, if they like, they can stay till forever. One of them buys me things like perfume, make up kits, gives money and all as if he were my bf. My bf knows cause he never did it behind him. He buys Tshirts, shoes for hubby too. The other one, we just jelled. We can gist for Africa. At times, he comes accidentally when his friend is not around, we gist - normal gist and I see him off, distance of 500 m, beyond even. At times, he comes with his babe too. Trust me, just plain likeness. He never acted like he'd take me to bed, neither did the thought ever crossed my mind too. Just undiluted friendship.

It's true you acted too quickly. Who knows? She may be the loose type of girl. You would have lurked longer in the dark and waited for them both to fall before you react. I wish you good luck with her.

Thanks beautiful...

4 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by thegroomspa(m): 4:09pm On Oct 03, 2022
Joeyfizzo:
she is into ur guy. She will sleep with him in ur presence or behind ur back ...that ur guy is a BASTARD!... He will f*ck her n dump her

Hmmmm

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Fxzboyz: 4:42pm On Oct 03, 2022
She wants to Bleep him

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by babavik: 4:54pm On Oct 03, 2022
Mom007:

Oh you can marry... You may even be happy but that feeling of having met your soulmate.

You mean something like "firstlove"?
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Mercury12(m): 7:01pm On Oct 03, 2022
Lol otilor cheesy
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by ifihearam: 8:00pm On Oct 03, 2022
placeofallure:


Well, humans especially women, are difficult to read. She may not mean to date your friend. He may just have made an impression on her that she found so captivating and she was too careless, maybe naive, to manage well. If she really wants to Bleep your friend, if she's a pro, you won't catch any wind of it.

When I was still dating my husband, his home was a Mecca of some sort to his numerous friends. There were about two of them that I liked a lot. Even when I complained about the others intruding into our privacy, I never did about those two or three, if they like, they can stay till forever. One of them buys me things like perfume, make up kits, gives money and all as if he were my bf. My bf knows cause he never did it behind him. He buys Tshirts, shoes for hubby too. The other one, we just jelled. We can gist for Africa. At times, he comes accidentally when his friend is not around, we gist - normal gist and I see him off, distance of 500 m, beyond even. At times, he comes with his babe too. Trust me, just plain likeness. He never acted like he'd take me to bed, neither did the thought ever crossed my mind too. Just undiluted friendship.

It's true you acted too quickly. Who knows? She may be the loose type of girl. You would have lurked longer in the dark and waited for them both to fall before you react. I wish you good luck with her.


LOL its easier said than done.
The heart is very fragile, trust me his quick reaction helped them both..she was getting carried away.
The friend too cannot be trsuted.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by ifihearam: 8:01pm On Oct 03, 2022
Starz825:

I don't feel you acted too quickly anyway as others thought....

My own is the way you reacted faster after few deep/sensitive observation was better before he go happen....
If na you her friend dey do like that to...she won't like it

How you felt pissed off at first is natural of anyone...dat your friend sef na idiot too...but don't fight him...some guys are like that...they always want their friend's properties...some guys are wired like that ...just be wary of him...
It's not advisable to fight a guy cos of a girl...
It doesn't make sense...na you go caution your girl

The way you made your girl realize that she can have your guy if she wants him over you...and blocked her immediately...
You did well there...I give you a pass mark...

With that action..you reminded her that she's 34 and there is no time for rubbish and you have also marked your territory in her life....
That's so good...she now know who you are...and that you can leave when she bleeps up..

Whether she is going to see your friend at your back for sex or something is yet to be seen..... don't think about it ...
Just forgive her and move on....
And maybe tell her not to come to the house for now....

Na man you be....
You just saved her ass if you don't know... temptations are everywhere...women are also human beings too...you know how they always get flattered with petty things..you can imagine... Dripping wet over American intonation of a stranger.... thinking she is still in her twenties....

You be man jarreee... forgive her ..


Best advice so far
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by constance500: 9:04pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Hi friends...

Can't sleep tonight cos of whole lot of thought going on inside of me.

Let me be brief, please permit me.

I was posted to another state on work related matter, there I meet this pretty lady. I am 35 yr she's 34 so we got along her kind behavior and her openess captivated my heart and after 3 months I said to myself I think I have found my missing rib.

Things were looking good, am actually based in one of the state in the north where am being posted from Abuja and what happens is my company sends personel from Lagos to come assist me and the person sent stays for 2month after which another person comes to replace him.

Anytime I have a colleague sent from Lag and my fiancee visit I do introduce her to my colleague as my person to be...two of my colleagues who have seen her before going back to Lagos have told me she will make a good wife.

I love and cherised her so much even when my job doesn't really pay me that much due to the part of the country where I found myself I still try to squeeze the little I have just to make her happy though she's not too demanding...

A month ago, a personel was sent from Lag on hanging out, my fiancee called me on phone I asked her where she was and told her to come see me where I was with my colleague cooling off after a busy day. She came and I introduced her to this guy they exchanged pleasantry but because we were done as at the time she arrived we dashed out immediately.

She returned back home while I and my colleague took a tricycle to our place of rest.

As we got home I noticed the mood of my guy
changed, on trying to know why he said mehnnn I like your woman she's my kind of woman...I laughed it off.

So we have meet at different places together, until the unusual began happening....my girl will call me up and will be asking after my guy on a daily basis.

She did it to a point one day, she called told me I should tell my friend she asked after him that even if she knows I was not going to tell my friend that I should tell him she's greeting him the same way my guy disturbs me about her.

One day she called me while she was at work and am off, asked me if she could bring food for me of course I accepted though she does that occasionally.

As she arrived we sat in company lodge we discussed for sometime...and only God knows how many times she was asking after my guy.

My guy was not around at the same time I wanted to know what happens when my guy returns from the gym...

Before then I took my laptop and was operating while I wanted to see if my instinct is on point. while on the laptop my guy came in, from the gym they both greeted and on the guy teasing her on what to offer her or to take her out my fiancee was so engrossed that she never knew when she told me openly she missed my guy....




Dump her ass
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Collins4u1(m): 9:28pm On Oct 03, 2022
You acted too quick, but then that your guy is a bastard.

The guts to be hitting on your finance in your very before. Some men lack respect for their fellow guy ooo.

Tufia.

7 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Sweetvie: 9:28pm On Oct 03, 2022
Slynation:
You know your gender are very dramatic, when I was in the dating world, My ex will once a while crack a joke about how we have been peaceful for the past one week and then boom, she seriously creates something out of nothing...[/b]So I'm still of the opinion most ladies see things from a confused and dramatic views...[b]

[/b]Since I took some pills and ditched that bondage and nonsense called relationships[b], I call/chat whomever I want, flirt/hang out with whomever I want, the peace of mind and happiness I get remains unmatched unlike before when one call can ruin your day...
We ain't perfect, u know
Yeah we are dramatic and crazy sometimes but mostly it for attention.
@ bolded
You know, sometimes I wonder why guys are always trying to act strong. It when you love someone and the break up ( heart break) was kinda of dramatic that when you will turn strong hearted and just date for pleasure... But guy will never say they love a girl talk less of heartbreak but how come they turned strong hearted after the relationship?
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Scribx: 9:42pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Thanks friends for your input....

I have made up my mind to quit, it's hard for me but I have to move on...

Looking for best subtle way to tell her...

It's really hurts you may not understand...

Never doubt your instinct. You may call it insecurity but it's your highest self in action. Don't ignore the signs, emotion is stronger than knowledge.
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Albertone(m): 11:52pm On Oct 03, 2022
Slynation:
what fuvkery is this... sad sad

Who is doing the fvckery?My friend, our other friend, the girlfriend, the cultists or you?
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Albertone(m): 11:56pm On Oct 03, 2022
Reggaemich:
so u think, the guy the cultist beat to pulp, will just let it slide like that

That guy may find another way to exert his revenge on the guy, that called cultist for him.

Me, I no go forgive O

Yeah he initially wanted to involve some of his cult friends too but weighed his option and saw it doesn't pay.
They can retaliate but it will lead to killing each other.

Well, I don't know if he still has plans for them tho.
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by culf: 11:58pm On Oct 03, 2022
your guy too is not a good friend, he should just remain a colleague and nothing more.

5 Likes

Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Nonywendy(m): 11:59pm On Oct 03, 2022
thegroomspa:
Continue...

She went back to work, and later that day evening I started receiving a message on Whatsapp from her friend I once meet asking want happened between I and her friend...

On explaining things to her, she said there was nothing wrong that if I love her friend enough that shouldn't be an issue...

I was so angered that I stopped replying to her friend...

Then my girl started texting me on Whatsapp apologizing and at the same time swearing with her life that she can't sleep or do anything that her head and her heart are heavy...

I became afraid so she doesn't hurt herself, I then replied her and fixed a place to meet her after work...

We meet and I pointed out everything she burst to tears saying it wasn't true that it's not what I think and was swearing with her life...

I told her I forgave her...

This month made it the 7th month and we have not mated, since we met ourself...I initiated it to ease up a little bit...we've made love twice now...

But I still feel insecure when ever about her and don't trust her...

I feel like quitting...




I was so pained

SIMPle man forming red piller. U are mating are u animal?
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Jeju: 12:44am On Oct 04, 2022
A girl who wants to cheat on you with your friends will never talk about them like she does.
"That girl is not 24"
What that girl was just trying to do is to create a circle of friendship and she might truly like his accents and the stories he tells while you guys gists. This doesn't mean attraction because there's no antecedents to prove that from your story.
You talked about eye contact but you weren't giving her attention when you were pretending to browse through your laptop, While it was your friend giving her sweet gists.
She's actually fondly of the guy but not romantically.
The problem here is that you might be really so boring on outings and that guy could be making it more exciting for her, hence she looks forward to meeting him again and again.
It's ok to feel threatened because no one can be trusted but this case is different.
Don't let a good girl go because you're being stupid.
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Danielomisco(m): 4:03am On Oct 04, 2022
thegroomspa:
Thanks friends for your input....

I have made up my mind to quit, it's hard for me but I have to move on...

Looking for best subtle way to tell her...

It's really hurts you may not understand...
you made the right choice.single at 34 is for a reason,best of luck bro!
Re: My Fiancee And My Friend What Is Going On?? by Danielomisco(m): 4:05am On Oct 04, 2022
Jeju:
A girl who wants to cheat on you with your friends will never talk about them like she does.
"That girl is not 24"
What that girl was just trying to do is to create a circle of friendship and she might truly like his accents and the stories he tells while you guys gists. This doesn't mean attraction because there's no antecedents to prove that from your story.
You talked about eye contact but you weren't giving her attention when you were pretending to browse through your laptop, While it was your friend giving her sweet gists.
She's actually fondly of the guy but not romantically.
The problem here is that you might be really so boring on outings and that guy could be making it more exciting for her, hence she looks forward to meeting him again and again.
It's ok to feel threatened because no one can be trusted but this case is different.
Don't let a good girl go because you're being stupid.
lol you made her a good woman?op must have known what he saw and felt, intuition hardly goes south.

1 Like

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