Cuddlemii:

Anyways being a realist as always worked for me because people are always free to tell me stuffs, express themselves, show me their real self too including a guy I am dating. My ex called me once that he was at the clinic to perform an abortion on his chick. I felt honored that after so many years he can still count on me. It took wisdom to handle his situation. I have had my oga tell me their wife sleep during love making, I have had a lecturer tell me his relations with students and I advised. I have had a toaster tell me he was once a cultist at the universities. I am always the first to know my cuzins bfs or gfs. My friends bf told me once that he did fraud, My friend once told me she was dating a cocaine carrier & If I didn't relate on a realistic ground she wont be getting married soon to a decent man. I think its a gift so I intend taking that to my marriage that doesn't mean I am not disciplined or principled, I am just not a sucker for deceit & lies.

Don't brag too much about people telling you their stuff. I (the person you opted to label a 'typical lady') have people who tell me deeper and sh[i]i[/i]ttier crap about their lives because they think am the only one who will listen without judging them, including my own oga at work (see how we have things in common?) and a married female friend who is having an affair because her hubby cannot satisfy her sexually. Why did she come to me? Because she knew that this 'typical lady' will not judge her. I however cautioned her to NEVER EVER have unprotected sex with her strong lover. So believe it or not, many people also do consult me for relationship advice. I am the one who advises my girlfriends to lower their expectations and be realistic, but at the same time not put up with extreme negativity. It drains a lot of energy.

A drinker, a smoker, a jobless man; not at all difficult to handle, but whether you admit it or not, womanizers scare the sh[i]i[/i]t out of every woman, even the ones who appear strong. Syphilis can cause blindness my friend. It's worse than HIV. The worst are those who sleep around without protection, siring children and bragging about it. The same fellows are here on Nairaland bashing South Africa's HIV statistics because they think they are immune to it.

The point am trying to put across is that people should not accommodate too much negativity or lose their self-respect/esteem because they believe that they must "get hitched". Responsibility is not too much to ask for.

I'm not quite clear on the OP's definition of uselessness.

Aliko Dangote once shared a story in which his wife, seeing that he did not wake up on time in the morning, called him a 'useless man'.

He was worried at first, but then thought to himself, 'How can I, a man who employs CEOs, MDs, founds industries, employs labour etc, be useless?'.

Noticing that his wife's idea of uselessness [/b]was at best [b]fuzzy, he continued his morning sleep. . .

@quid i like that,u made me laff a little,10x bro

Good Girl:

Don't brag too much about people telling you their stuff. I (the person you opted to label a 'typical lady') have people who tell me deeper and sh[i]i[/i]ttier crap about their lives because they think am the only one who will listen without judging them, including my own oga at work (see how we have things in common?) and a married female friend who is having an affair because her hubby cannot satisfy her sexually. Why did she come to me? Because she knew that this 'typical lady' will not judge her. I however cautioned her to NEVER EVER have unprotected sex with her strong lover. So believe it or not, many people also do consult me for relationship advice. I am the one who advises my girlfriends to lower their expectations and be realistic, but at the same time not put up with extreme negativity. It drains a lot of energy.

A drinker, a smoker, a jobless man; not at all difficult to handle, but whether you admit it or not, womanizers scare the sh[i]i[/i]t out of every woman, even the ones who appear strong. Syphilis can cause blindness my friend. It's worse than HIV. The worst are those who sleep around without protection, siring children and bragging about it. The same fellows are here on Nairaland bashing South Africa's HIV statistics because they think they are immune to it.

The point am trying to put across is that people should not accommodate too much negativity or lose their self-respect/esteem because they believe that they must "get hitched". Responsibility is not too much to ask for.

Well I don't see how the bolded comes to play here. Are you aiding the poster or you are admitting men are useless. The point you made is very reasonable but the ops post is too degrading to attract your beautiful logic.

Hers is medicine after death. Coming to disrespect her hubby because he doesn't do house chores is very stupid because these are the things she was meant have worked on during courtship or dating. For heaven sake, you would always know domesticated men. They are the ones who clean their carpets, wash their clothes themselves because they are scared people wont wash their clothes clean enough, they are the ones who pick grains of rice on the floor. That's why you see some men at 70 are still agile & independent, some even walk to their kitchen to fix themselves a meal.

She sticking her butt in her hubby's house & coming to Nland to motivate ladies to see men as being useless makes her an hypocrite meaning she is who she attracted. You making a point out of these when numerous post about marriages have passed by but this was significant only means you agree with her. Or probably you found my post offensive. Deception & lies is the problem this world has. A corrupt politician would ask EFCC to catch yahoo boys, A pastor that is a pedophile would be judging fornicators. We need to understand that all hands are not equal as such look out for the flaws, deal with it or let it go. Focus only the good sides, the discovery of the bad side gets u crazy when u can't tolerate it, that is what op is facing.

I don't brag. I only explained what I meant by being a realist. I also like your points too but I feel it can be useful on more positive threads.

@ cuddlemii is disregard everything you've said about me with all the bones in my body.

if a man was useful i wouldnt call him useless. And as for ironing things out before marriage this was done like a  million times but if a man chooses to change or not do the things he is meant to what do you call him.

Married men that cheat do not do this while they are dating their partner but as soon as they get married they do. would you blame the wife for not seeing it admittedly some do and those do not deserve any pity from me.

Trust me you cant take a step in my shoes not to talk of walking a mile. I am feed up and seriously considering divorce. i could tell you my story if you want to listen to it but am not one to consititute people together for a pity party.

I have made a mistake with the man I married and will not continue the rest of my life in this mistake. My thread does not say that all men are useless i know neither does it states why are some men useless. But this is the conclusion I have come to and I am entitled to my opinonion.

For people to come here and jugde a persons whole life based on a few paragraphs is beyond ridiculous

[b]@OP: The title of your thread should be "Why is the man I married useless". In my opinion, men/women are far from being useless; moreover, if you knew the connotations inherent in the word "useless", I bet you wouldn't have used it to describe human beings, because even animals cannot be described as useless. You are indeed free to use any word you choose to describe the man you married, but saying that "men are useless" makes no logical sense whatsoever. It's like me opening a thread and saying "Why are women useless", it's a shallow and baseless sentence.

"Why is the man I married useless" is the ideal title of your thread, take it or leave it! If you have issues with the man you married, then say it here, and wait for advice from people in the know, rather than taking out your frustration on men, and trying to influence females with your negativity. That kind of attitude, no matter how well-deserved, will take you nowhere because all the future men you meet will always be the ones you described as "useless" here. No "USEFUL" man will choose to follow a lady who described men as "useless"; it's like the law of karma, useless people are attracted to useless people; no one can avoid it! [/b]

@claremount: thanks Mr english teacher i will contact you when / if i need more lessons

Cuddlemii:

Well I don't see how the bolded comes to play here. Are you aiding the poster or you are admitting men are useless. The point you made is very reasonable but the ops post is too degrading to attract your beautiful logic.

Hers is medicine after death. Coming to disrespect her hubby because he doesn't do house chores is very silly because these are the things she was meant have worked on during courtship or dating. For heaven sake, you would always know domesticated men. They are the ones who clean their carpets, wash their clothes themselves because they are scared people wont wash their clothes clean enough, they are the ones who pick grains of rice on the floor. That's why you see some men at 70 are still agile & independent, some even walk to their kitchen to fix themselves a meal.

She sticking her butt in her hubby's house & coming to Nland to motivate ladies to see men as being useless makes her an hypocrite meaning she is who she attracted. You making a point out of these when numerous post about marriages have passed by but this was significant only means you agree with her. Or probably you found my post offensive. Deception & lies is the problem this world has. A corrupt politician would ask EFCC to catch yahoo boys, A pastor that is a craddle-robber would be judging fornicators. We need to understand that all hands are not equal as such look out for the flaws, deal with it or let it go. Focus only the good sides, the discovery of the bad side gets u crazy when u can't tolerate it, that is what op is facing.

I don't brag. I only explained what I meant by being a realist. I also like your points too but I feel it can be useful on more positive threads.

Yes you are right. I may have gotten too carried away while responding to you to even remember that we had the OP's problem to deal with.

@ topic, men are not useless. However, [i]some [/i]men are and they have no apologies.

ebonyvibe:

@ cuddlemii is disregard everything you've said about me with all the bones in my body.

if a man was useful i wouldnt call him useless. And as for ironing things out before marriage this was done like a  million times but if a man chooses to change or not do the things he is meant to what do you call him.

Married men that cheat do not do this while they are dating their partner but as soon as they get married they do. would you blame the wife for not seeing it admittedly some do and those do not deserve any pity from me.

Trust me you cant take a step in my shoes not to talk of walking a mile. I am feed up and seriously considering divorce. i could tell you my story if you want to listen to it but am not one to consititute people together for a pity party.

I have made a mistake with the man I married and will not continue the rest of my life in this mistake. My thread does not say that  all men are useless i know neither does it states why are some men useless. But this is the conclusion I have come to and I am entitled to my opinonion.

For people to come here and jugde a persons whole life based on a few paragraphs is beyond ridiculous

Well you should have concentrated on the issues you are facing with your hubby. As claremont said, if you had told us what you were going through then you would have gotten comfort & advice here. I have met ladies that were molested or raped but even in their venom they never generalized & disrespect the male gender. Instead they leave vengeance to God. Everyone has gone through one thing or the other worst than whatever you are going through but coming on Nland to disrespect what God created is distasteful. I bark at such even when the female gender is rubbished because of a silly issue. People should learn to treat people as individuals & stop generalizing.

I sympathize with you but I still blame you for the outcome of things in your marriage. A woman's role is to hold her home & from what you spat here I am certain you are bothered about men in general & how to deal with them. What happened to prayers, its like people have started serving judgement on earth. If your child was to be the one frustrating you, would you throw him or her to the street. If you were the one frustrating your hubby & he throws you out, what would you say? There are always trials & tribulations in everything we do in life but that doesn't mean there would be no rain & sunshine afterwards. I know you are bitter but you are already in it because "it was your choice, you selected you hubby, what the hell were you thinking so its your consequences to deal with".

Develop a thick skin, find something that makes you happy & concentrate on that, with time he would come around. Men provoke women because they know their temperament, why not surprise him & show him respect is earned. There can't be too kings one palace, you must learn to apply wisdom. If he beats you then that's another ball game but with your kind of tongue & fury, I doubt that. Remember we are sinners & something some of us have done to others, if we were god, we would kill them but God died for our sins, God loves sinners & God forgives sinners.

I hope you wont let anger guide you, its never a good ending. Let your brains & intellect be ur guide even if you are not that religious. I suggest you apologize for calling men useless because I already have an impression of your handle.

Da Doctor:

NOW THE BOLDED CONFIRMS YOUR EXTRA MARITAL TOTS

YOU SEE! I KNEW IT ALL THE WHILE. TAKE HEART U HEAR?

Ya, some men are really worthless.i think thier importance on earth is overated.the only thing they have to show is that dangling thing in between thier legs.Women practically do every thing.They do all the domestic work,take care of the men and children and even go out to huzzle from 5:00pm to 9:00pm.they are very good at multitasking.Its a man's world but the men have to earn this respect for thier women to consider them as men.No kudos to any lazy ass dude. guys have to learn how to work hard and provide for thier family without thinking of wht the woman is bring on board,they should learn from their fathers,those were really men and not all these immature men we now have running around.

[b][/b][color=#770077][/color]

islamrules:

Yes, we are!

Ya, we women know that but some men are really worthless.i think thier importance on earth is overated.The only thing they have to show is that dangling thing in between thier legs.Women practically do every thing.They do all the domestic work,take care of the men and children and even go out to huzzle from 5:00pm to 9:00pm.They are very good at multitasking.Its a man's world but the men have to earn this respect for thier women to consider them as men.No kudos to any lazy ass dude. guys have to learn how to work hard and provide for thier family without thinking of wht the woman is bringing on board,they should learn from their fathers,those were really men and not all these immature men we now have running around.UP UP WEAKLINGS

DIVORCE HIM AND REMAIN SINGLE!