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How Do I Save My Relationship - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Obaaderemi2: 8:20am On Dec 18, 2022
FuckSilly:

You're begging a whóre who was probably sucking and swallowing sperms all night when you stayed awake and worried.

KNOW THIS FOR A FACT TODAY,

GIRL ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS AND ALWAYS WITH THEIR PHONES.


If you called and she doesn't return your calls 15 minutes after, SHE'S DEFINITELY AND PURPOSELY IGNORING YOU.

IF THAT GIRL IS NOT A VIRGIN OR YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT BROKE HER, YOU'RE DEFINITELY WASTING YOUR LIFE AND, IN WILL END IN TEARS.
See you. I broke a 21 year old lady some years ago before I went for youth service. I thought I'd found the right person. She promised with her life that we'll always be together. She was begging me not to break her heart. At the end of the day she cheated.
Virgin ko, flower ni. When I see people raving about virgins I laugh. It's better to meet someone who truly respects and wants you.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by casspersteve: 8:25am On Dec 18, 2022
Freestyle her and give her space and stop thus begging.

I have never said sorry to my gf and I would never do.

Even when I’m wrong I don’t say “I’m sorry”
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Divay22(f): 8:26am On Dec 18, 2022
Offpoint1:

Imagine calling someone Boss for shxt that isn't job related. Even job related stuff you don't just go to your boss directly, you follow process.

I wonder what drug he's on

Expired drugs grin grin grin
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by E2000: 8:28am On Dec 18, 2022
It's obvious you are a spare tyre Nigerian girls have spare boyfriends and sometimes fiancee. I have seen it many times when someone in a serious relationship thinking he is the only one she is with gets the shock of his life that his girlfriend is getting married to another man. You start wondering when she was dating the other guy.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by princemiracle(m): 8:35am On Dec 18, 2022
See the way people dey blame this guy. Firstly, the lady gave him permission to always look out for her, especially in desperate times. Secondly, what type of meeting do you have with boss around 11+pm? It's not even a remote meeting; a physical meeting around 11+pm. Boss, if I were you, I'm not apologizing or saying hi after that. She should Bleep off. She blocked you everywhere because of guilt. She feels she should destroy the whole thing before you find out. Move ON with your life bro. That girl is a serial cheat �. No mistakenly accept her back if she comes ooooo. This time na rest in peace she go do you, with a lot of emotional manipulation.

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by OriOko88(m): 8:42am On Dec 18, 2022
remele2:
First, Bro u bleeped up by calling the Boss.....


But really did she threaten to lock you up That was so kind of her oooo she must be a very nice person.....


Bro its better you allow her lock you up for you dnt have sense....

But trust me, she will later come to bail you, by that time u will understand what boundries are..

But i promise you after that, the love will be so strong, she will apologize for locking you up and you will also apologize for crossing the line..


When diz works for you.. pls call me to send my account details ok..

Goodluck

Wat gibberish are u typing here. U must be a physco undecided
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by blaise26abj(m): 8:42am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:
I see a lot of people saying I was stalking her well, it might be useful to know that she gets pissed whenever I don’t check her location that she sent or when I sleep before ensuring she has reached home safely.

Also she is very big on security and whenever she is going out for work she gives the the colleague she is going withs number and asks me to call if I can’t get through after sometime if I don’t call and say her phone was not reachable she asks why I didn’t call her colleague.

Normally I don’t have time for all this and she complained that I was always coding instead of checking up so I adjusted.

As for finances we are both doing well in the tech industry so that is not the problem or why I am trying to save the relationship.

She is back but right now I am just observing. Also, I called her boss because that was the last person she was with.

My advice ? Don’t show much interest AGAIN in her whereabouts . For your sanity avoid it . Just take whatever she tells you at face value and register it. Just pray that if she cheats , you should find out . Giving out locations , calling etc doesn’t MEAN Jack to cheats. In fact she can pick up your call with a big gbola in her coochie .
A man or woman will not get angry that the partner is checking up on her and wants to ensure her safety . Next time call TWICE . One for maybe she is far from the phone . The other to double check . If she doesn’t pick the 2nd time , send her a text asking her to return the call when she is able to and FORGET about it . AND GET ON with doing what you love . Seems that is Coding and making money .

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 8:48am On Dec 18, 2022
ukaface:
you’ll just have unnecessary hypertension if you eventually find one
Try no marry o
of course, even Jesus no marry
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Nobody: 8:50am On Dec 18, 2022
naturefellow:
why so acrimonious?
werey go ask your papa for house. Acrimonious ko, Tyler Perry ni grin
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Obaaderemi2: 8:50am On Dec 18, 2022
princemiracle:
See the way people dey blame this guy. Firstly, the lady gave him permission to always look out for her, especially in desperate times. Secondly, what type of meeting do you have with boss around 11+pm? It's not even a remote meeting; a physical meeting around 11+pm. Boss, if I were you, I'm not apologizing or saying hi after that. She should Bleep off. She blocked you everywhere because of guilt. She feels she should destroy the whole thing before you find out. Move ON with your life bro. That girl is a serial cheat �. No mistakenly accept her back if she comes ooooo. This time na rest in peace she go do you, with a lot of emotional manipulation.
Don't mind them. They're forming woke. grin
What if he called her boss? Is her boss the president of Nigeria? Yeye.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Fantasial: 8:57am On Dec 18, 2022
OP, please ignore those trolling you. They are not seeing things from your angle but truthfully I understand you on this. You wanted her to be safe which was paramount than any line you are now being asked not to have crossed. The lesson here is that while your effort is good, calling her boss should not have been one of the options for you to take. It is her professional relationship and must be identified and respected as such. I believe it is probably why she is angry. The best would have been for you to contact any member of her family you are close with to alert them of the security concern.

Irrespective, you have done your best and NOW need to keep off her completely for the longest possible period it takes for her realise why you did what you did and come back if she wants to.

Please do not beg her again
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Amilli(m): 9:12am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.


All this proves that you are expendable and will be discarded soon , Wake up bro n walk away

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by jelel6: 9:28am On Dec 18, 2022
adeyemik:


She met another guy in her church and fell in love with him.

Her aunt invited me to her wedding 4 years ago (2018) but declined the invite because i felt it was not a good idea and I explained to her. She got married 16 years after we pathed ways.

Perhaps, she double-dated then. Which is always a recipe for unnecessary distraction.

Wow. 16 years is a really long time.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by sirblend: 9:32am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:


Most times she shares her live location herself whenever she is going out and said that is what they do for security reasons… she also gets angry when I don’t check and ask for updates but I guess I took it too far.


You went too far..


When you are not yet her husband.

If it was her husband or siblings who called the Boss, that is understandable.

Take heart bro.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by bentenny(m): 9:36am On Dec 18, 2022
Intrepid01:
My guy go and drink water and relax, I know you’re in love and that can make you act irrationally. But if she eventually comes around, you must never forget to ask for the full details of where she was and what she was doing at 11:45pm that made it impossible for her to pick her call. Na only she dey work for Lagos?

You see some men and women are very manipulative and I know that well well. A babe that had her traditional wedding planned was still coming to my house for a fling as if it’s nothing. Let me tell you, sharing her location with you means nothing, don’t be deceived. People on the street knows that, she shares her location and disappears from the radar. You see, marriage relationship requires full transparency, anyone that can’t give it shouldn’t go near marriage. If you don’t iron things out now and be firm she’ll still be cutting shows even when you marry her.

The lady I mentioned earlier has done her traditional marriage and she still chats me up in a way to suggest that nothing has changed btw us. Like she's just waiting for me to ask her to come over, like seriously? In my mind I’m like I’m not getting down with another man’s lawful wife.

Oga be firm with your decisions, never let your heart rule over your head.

You didn’t stalk her, if she had been kidnapped, would it be considered wrong calling her boss whom she was supposedly working with throughout the day?

Ask married people around, their spouse have contacts of their co-workers and vice- versa.
Thumbs up!
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Francismeek(m): 9:37am On Dec 18, 2022
Look bro, you overstepped by calling the boss, shawtys are best left on their toes Wondering if you love em, since you called her and she ain't picking you should av let it be, until she reaches out, now the deed has been done, let her be bro... If she comes back then y'all should keep going, if she doesn't then act asif she doesn't exist anymore.... Cheers.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Obaaderemi2: 9:41am On Dec 18, 2022
adeyemik:


She met another guy in her church and fell in love with him.

Her aunt invited me to her wedding 4 years ago (2018) but declined the invite because i felt it was not a good idea and I explained to her. She got married 16 years after we pathed ways.
16 years. That means she didn't even marry the guy she left you for.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by odaniel1(m): 9:43am On Dec 18, 2022
Fiscus105:



If ur story is true, that lady is not type you should worry about and she doesn't love you shishi, she is the type who would carry job on top of head and careless about marriage, husband and kids. Infact, she can Bleep outside marriage for job security and carrier progression.

For those that are blaming op for calling her boss, it's either you are teens or myopic in reasoning.
Any boss who is angry that they called him to know whereabout of his employees, it's either he is satanist or his having amorous relationship with the employee.

...... imagine if you think she is in danger by not picking your calls and try to reach out with anyone who can have her number,at least to know her whereabouts......

Meanwhile, which job is she doing that her loved ones won't be able to call her colleagues or boss for her safety?

Spot on! Anyone against the way he calls and checks up after her is myopic in reasoning. From the story, you can tell both parties have been comfortable with the pattern.
I had a similar experience and OP if you are reading this I can assure you something fishy went down that night. You nearly caught wind of it, and she has gotten upset because she is not keeping it 100 with you. My ex did this but I can assure you that the greatest regret I have is grovelling and begging.
Never beg who was not for you oh, this life we are all made up of our own selfish interests. The moment one does not see a gain in endeavours, a lack of interest will follow. It is left for you to disengage from that kind of connection for your safety & sanity.
Our stories are so alike only mine went to meet an ex-lover and she was having to be confused over money or the love we shared. I guess it is not hard to tell who wins these days in the scheme of things. Love yourself by discontinuing any form of reconnection and flee! Posterity will judge you if you ignore this red flag and ignite a reunion. I pray I too will continue to cut off from my dangerous ex (I say so because they start out as they love you more, only to be indifferent later) and every other relshp that may hamper my existence as a person. Good to remain sexual partners or 'distant' friends but never give the opportunity for closure. Some might tell you that there was a level of uncertainty hence her attitude and that maturity should let you both come back, but I assure you, sir. It will end in pain. Best dine with this type with a long spoon...
Better an ex than a bad partner.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by tctrills: 9:43am On Dec 18, 2022
GboyegaD:


Unfortunately, I mainly watch Nigerian movies if I need to watch movies. That said, I wonder how you came to your unfounded conclusion.
How I came to my conclusion shouldn't bother you. You should only be concerned about what is correct and what is wrong.

In the US you get a restraining order if you are stalking someone. You only go to jail when you violate an existing restraining order.
In the US, celebraties, politicians, and billionaires get stalked all the time and no one goes to jail.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by omolasho: 9:43am On Dec 18, 2022
Chai! Chai! Chai! I must confess that for the past 12 years of my life in Nairaland I had never read a weakling and "feminine" like this oops. Eeeeoh!
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by odaniel1(m): 9:46am On Dec 18, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
I was about asking why you didn't marry her, since you loved her that much and her absence made You feel insecure. A beautiful woman with a good job, is what most men are looking for.

Continue to send her apology messages, but don't call too often. With time she will return. Pray.

Anyone you have to beg for this long for attention & forgiveness does not deserve you. May we never fall into the wrong hands. Manipulations of mankind to each other will forever be one of the craziest things the heavenly beings above despise about us humans
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by odaniel1(m): 9:53am On Dec 18, 2022
Newborn27:
Op lemme advice you based on my personal experience...... insecurity can cause you harm than good.... to you.... you thought you cared and was checking out on your love not knowing you're diving into a wrong destination.....it will only get worse that even when she's heavily pregnant on nursing a baby you'd want to monitor her movements and you'd graduate into getting annoyed when you can't access her.... you'd start suspecting that she's cheating on you... from there to domestic violence then murder (God forbid)


As the posters above had said.... work on yourself as this act would repeat itself in your new relationship.....I salute the lady's level of maturity.....had I knew this much about iñsecurity...I wouldn't have ended up this way.


Please let her go and work on your own self....if she's yours.... she'd definitely be back into your life..... when she do.... kindly tell her to change all her password to avoid you from gaining too much access to her and also control your level of iñsecurity.



Shalom bro.

You are right about it not being good to have insecurities as a man but from the story, there is a pattern of constantly being checked upon by both parties so how come this one let the cat out the bag? think about it. It must have been because there was something fishy, if not why should calling her boss be an issue? Did the boss relieve her of her position. Is it the first time she is knowing that they both have access to each other's personal space? Let us be rational when dealing with women. It is what keeps us ahead of them. When it happened to me, I told my ex my hunch said she was cheating, and as insecure as I sounded, it was true! ex-bf hit me up later to narrate the whole ordeal because he was my cousin too. it doesn't take much to read women, just keep your widas about you and who will be genuine will stay. If she really wanted it to work out, why has she not made the effort? Why would she use this one as an excuse if she does not have ulterior intentions? I advise the OP to let her be. I assure him she will regret her actions later by then, OP would have found someone better. Death to any cheating spouse or partner out there is all I am saying for all the sacrifices of faithful partners'worth

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by tabaralph: 10:04am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.

She has noticed your desperation and too much of mumucious type of love you think you have, let me tell you that what you have for her is infatuation, if you marry this girl she will turn you to complete robot without any form of grip or control in the relationship.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Chidexsco8448(m): 10:07am On Dec 18, 2022
Mjshexy:
First you're dangerously insecured.
Secondly don't call her again for now, give her some space and learn from it.
Thirdly, you need to work on developing a trust mindset for a woman you intend getting married to.
Lastly, your lady needs to manage her anger properly and try to be more open in the relationship.
Happy Weekend cool
well said bro

1 Like

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by WantsandMore: 10:17am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.
Why do you let your obsession mk you do dumb things & you justify it like it's a norm damn it.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by vickydevoka(m): 10:29am On Dec 18, 2022
Antimarraige:
Serves you right, big fool. Na your type dey send woman go school grin grin grin

I can bet my left yansh that the girl sef dey cheat. Show me a naija girl that doesn't cheat and I will show you a 90 year old virgin grandma
B4 marriage yes. After marriage men cheat more
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by vickydevoka(m): 10:31am On Dec 18, 2022
Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.
Stop been too clingy to a lady you are married to. You behave like kid. Try another person n change. Please stop begging a lady to stay it's not good at all
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by EmmyBiggy(m): 10:39am On Dec 18, 2022
You are not yet mature for marriage. Give yourself more time and read good books about marriage.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by vickydevoka(m): 10:41am On Dec 18, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
I was about asking why you didn't marry her, since you loved her that much and her absence made You feel insecure. A beautiful woman with a good job, is what most men are looking for.

Continue to send her apology messages, but don't call too often. With time she will return. Pray.
Please, what are ladies looking for. How PhD holder go be 7th wife. Women de try , especially our igbo ladies. Comfortably marry illiterate way no reach primary 6 because of money

1 Like

Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Idaytesj29(m): 10:57am On Dec 18, 2022
Kobojunkie:
I don't need to know everyone in the world but I can know enough about how the mind works to know that insecurity is not a beginner trait but a mental problem that needs working on. undecided

A lot of maturities comes with experience. Some people fumble on the first attempt. Then they get it right thereafter. He may be one of such person.
I am not saying they should get back together, the experience will help him be it with this lady or another.
That's just what I am trying to point out.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by masks(m): 10:58am On Dec 18, 2022
Imagine if she married you?
Men! One day you will kill her. I suggest you work on yourself first cos you are obssessed with this lady. This is not LOVE bi ko. Until then,I suggest she blocks you even on Instagram. Stop calling her and work on yourself.
Re: How Do I Save My Relationship by Ojukwu007(m): 11:03am On Dec 18, 2022
Bro! You may not know this now but let me tell you something. Any partner who doesn’t respect your peace of mind, please and please do away with the person for the sake of your sanity…male or female!

But..if you were being too clingy, her actions are justified. Give her time to calm down then sort out things.

Use your head brother. Genuinely love is mostly devoid of emotional quakes. Your sanity is priceless…

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