Banilla:
I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

Being your boyfriend feels like a chore. You have so much expectations about boys and the value you have to deliver is not commensurate with what you're expecting.

A guy who will meet your standards will be a high value man, a hot cake. He will have ladies chasing after him, he will have many options. You will need to prove yourself worthy of him choosing you. With all you've said, I don't think you stand a chance.

Don't worry about your high standards. As you progress in age, the standards will drop. I know of a 40-something year old Nigerian nurse in UK. She came home and was willing to marry any man, divorced, widowed, already have 5 kids, is broke, is 10 years younger.... just any man.

Obnoxious2001:


I just installed the app you talked about and am seeing -93.6% on spirituality hope is not what am thinking....

Can you enlighten me a bit rabbi please

sorry i dozed off, the profile you see are the current display of domains in your life,these domains makes the biorhythm,so the -93.6 you see is sign that you are less spiritually inclined to things around you and this means lack of connectivity on this aspect, but as days go by you would notice the number changes and starts to rise.during those days you would feel a sudden surge in that same domain.same goes to the other domains,
physical cycle lasts 23 days
emotional cycle lasts 28 days
intellectual cycle lasts 33 days
intuitive cycle lasts 38 days

these are the four main domains of the biorhythm to which all other domains are created ,if you have an Idea of a primary colour wheel? its same with the four main domains,they are most important to pay attention.each domain is divided perfectly into halves,the negative and positive phase.
when its in the positive phase it means you would do well in that domain but when its negative you need to take caution.

Banilla:
And I hate them all. He can spend on any girl, I want him to treat me differently. Sex gets boring real quick. Why don't they do this? I've written poems for boys I liked but no one ever thinks maybe I would want one too (only one boy did though). Romance is dead. I think maybe there's one sensitive soul but I haven't met any under 30.
Oh! I'll check it out tonight! Thank you. I'm curious

I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want... But I really don't want someone typical.

im sure when you figure things out you wont settle for typical persons, remember you are mostly looking for a person who has same qualities as you in a relationship,this may take a while but you would find a close match,the problem is when you meet your match you are often not within the reach of each other,for example two ladies within my match,one recently relocated to the uk when we begin to get closer,the other is far in SA(south Africa)what a life right?

Obnoxious2001:


I just installed the app you talked about and am seeing -93.6% on spirituality hope is not what am thinking....

Can you enlighten me a bit rabbi please

in the screenshot below you can see a compatibility test between two people,notice the strength and weaknesses in the relationship?

Let's connect

I work in tech and can quote Nietzsche

Banilla:
I'm sorry... The need for companionship makes me toxic? Being in a relationship takes away from me how? I can't be successful and have a boyfriend, right?

Someone that hates themselves should not be in a relationship with anybody. You will only be a source of frustration to the guy

yrhuhfy113:


It is funny how someone who has this kind of mentality, wants any better in a man.

YOU CAN NOT EVEN LIVE WITH YOURSELF, you want somebody's son to be your shield and butler... c'mon GET A LIFE...

make money, upgrade your class and stop looking for a saviour outside Jesus Christ.


WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
20? AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT... that will make you die alone... you are really not deep or mature enough for a relationship.

Do you not have school to attend, or jobs to get busy with?

You are lonely and toxic to yourself but you feel the USE of boyfriend is to alleviate you from your boredom... pls get a life.

this is 2023, if you have NOTHING TO OFFER THAN THIS... then men will use you and dump you and you will not be good enough to last 6 months in any relationship.

Pure facts

Banilla:
And I hate them all. He can spend on any girl, I want him to treat me differently. Sex gets boring real quick. Why don't they do this? I've written poems for boys I liked but no one ever thinks maybe I would want one too (only one boy did though). Romance is dead. I think maybe there's one sensitive soul but I haven't met any under 30.
Oh! I'll check it out tonight! Thank you. I'm curious

I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want... But I really don't want someone typical.

Hope you are beautiful and get yansh before you setting the standards look yourself well

Bradford111:


Hope you are beautiful and get yansh before you setting the standards look yourself well

so this all u desire in a woman

Banilla:
I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

You think you are difficult to understand mama? Nah you are just an Introvert.

You will learn to socialize more when you are desperate

Banilla:
What do I want? Did you even read the post?

People like you are the reason I'm scared to date a Nigerian... This inability to reason, it's terrifying.

what you want is unrealistic because you are yet to state what you got to offer, you want a man that is funny and can retain conversations, imagine a lonely introvert who gets bored easily setting such high stand, work in your self first else you may be lonely for long

Men too want intelligent women who are realistic and are productive or reliable, you think all a man want us just pussy and breZZ, he wants someone who is boring to be around dear😂😂?

Right now most Nigerians wouldn’t date you, they will just Bleep you and dump you because you got nothing to offer, and you are pathetically boring,imagine you saying you don’t want a guy that’s about his hustle and his money, as if you got the money to spend on him.
Be realistic with what you want maybe you will get lucky

--

Vyzz:



You think you are difficult to understand mama? Nah you are just an Introvert.

You will learn to socialize more when you are desperate

I'm not an introvert. Someone who's considered the most cheerful, happiest, friendliest person by everyone she meets? I don't make friends cause it's hard to find people who like the things I do... I cut people off easy, that's my problem.

SenecaTheYonger:


Someone that hates themselves should not be in a relationship with anybody. You will only be a source of frustration to the guy

How do i hate myself? This is really disappointing coming from you, I kinda expected more. So if you feel a disconnect from your mates, it's because you don't love yourself? I have high standards, not wanting to settle with something I don't consider good enough should tell you something.

Khd95:
what you want is unrealistic because you are yet to state what you got to offer, you want a man that is funny and can retain conversations, imagine a lonely introvert who gets bored easily setting such high stand, work in your self first else you may be lonely for long

Men too want intelligent women who are realistic and are productive or reliable, you think all a man want us just pussy and breZZ, he wants someone who is boring to be around dear😂😂?

Right now most Nigerians wouldn’t date you, they will just Bleep you and dump you because you got nothing to offer, and you are pathetically boring,imagine you saying you don’t want a guy that’s about his hustle and his money, as if you got the money to spend on him.
Be realistic with what you want maybe you will get lucky

Again, this assumption I'm an introvert. Jesus christ. People like you are the reason I get bored easily. You're so dumb, I'll rather end alone than settle with your kind.

Nothing you wrote makes any sense. How do I'm unproductive? How do you know I'm boring? How do you know I can't offer everything I asked for?

Deny the fact that you're a Yahoo boy... Please do so.

Nairaland is full of stupid men, I don't even know why I came here seeking advice.

Albertone:


Being your boyfriend feels like a chore. You have so much expectations about boys and the value you have to deliver is not commensurate with what you're expecting.

A guy who will meet your standards will be a high value man, a hot cake. He will have ladies chasing after him, he will have many options. You will need to prove yourself worthy of him choosing you. With all you've said, I don't think you stand a chance.

Don't worry about your high standards. As you progress in age, the standards will drop. I know of a 40-something year old Nigerian nurse in UK. She came home and was willing to marry any man, divorced, widowed, already have 5 kids, is broke, is 10 years younger.... just any man.

So? Are you trying to intimidate me? I know personally, we were kinda friends so this is shocking. I guess you've lowered your standards too cause you're SCARED of meeting high quality women and not being good enough. If you're so insecure, fine. I'm not you.

So intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare? Like, you don't even consider yourself one?

I'm not offended, just sad for you.

Banilla:
I'm not an introvert. Someone who's considered the most cheerful, happiest, friendliest person by everyone she meets? I don't make friends cause it's hard to find people who like the things I do... I cut people off easy, that's my problem.

How do i hate myself? This is really disappointing coming from you, I kinda expected more. So if you feel a disconnect from your mates, it's because you don't love yourself? I have high standards, not wanting to settle with something I don't consider good enough should tell you something.

Again, this assumption I'm an introvert. Jesus christ. People like you are the reason I get bored easily. You're so dumb, I'll rather end alone than settle with your kind.

Nothing you wrote makes any sense. How do I'm unproductive? How do you know I'm boring? How do you know I can't offer everything I asked for?

Deny the fact that you're a Yahoo boy... Please do so.

Nairaland is full of stupid men, I don't even know why I came here seeking advice.

You have lots of problems but the highest of them is that you consider yourself always right. Leggo

Ballzproblem2:
and how old do you think I am lol no much difference I try tell you something but since you no wan get sense leave am

F**k off. You can't even spell advising. Let's pretend I'm the one with the problem and you're not irredeemably stupid.

Kasiyya:
so this all u desire in a woman

That's just the basic if she no get yansh and is not cute she is just deceiving herself then

Vyzz:





You have lots of problems but the highest of them is that you consider yourself always right. Leggo

Precisely. I am right. You didn't ask any question, didn't try to know me... Just assumed I'm an introvert.

If I say Nigerian men are narrow-minded, I'm the bad person.

Banilla:
So? Are you trying to intimidate me? I know personally, we were kinda friends so this is shocking. I guess you've lowered your standards too cause you're SCARED of meeting high quality women and not being good enough. If you're so insecure, fine. I'm not you.

So intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare? Like, you don't even consider yourself one?

I'm not offended, just sad for you.

Shut up small pikin you will be used like a sex tool don't worry then your mumu go clear just day play! I pray you meet a guy like me that's if you are even cute I will teach you life the hard way

Banilla:
Precisely. I am right. You didn't ask any question, didn't try to know me... Just assumed I'm an introvert.

If I say Nigerian men are narrow-minded, I'm the bad person.

Hmmm


You are right...


You really bore people easily. How are you gonna make friends with an attitude like that?

Vyzz:



Hmmm


You are right...


You really bore people easily. How are you gonna make friends with an attitude like that?

What makes you think that? Have you spent a day with me? Have we had s conversation? You just assumed. Typical.

Una get time dey give audience to OP wahlai. You guys should learn to sift through threads. Our excellent OP here is a know it all. Worse still is she's delusional af. No sane nigga would come close to her with her silly attitude.

She should work on her attitude.. what a Narcissistic young woman.
Make she no worry, she go learn soon enough.

Banilla:
I don't want reliable friends... I need friends who aren't simple/basic/predictable/boring/typical... A boyfriend too. Most Nigerians are stereotypical.

You sure don't know what you want young girl, so you are going to be hell to anyone to unfortunately comes your way right now. In summary, you are confused!

Banilla:
So? Are you trying to intimidate me? I know personally, we were kinda friends so this is shocking. I guess you've lowered your standards too cause you're SCARED of meeting high quality women and not being good enough. If you're so insecure, fine. I'm not you.

So intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare? Like, you don't even consider yourself one?

I'm not offended, just sad for you.

If you sight a high value man, what if he doesn't approach you because he doesn't consider you worthy? He has many options you know.
But if you lower your standards, you have better chances. He now has narrower options so, you may be easily noticed.

As for me, I don't need to lower my standards to meet high value women. I simply approach her.
Example: You can want a very smart and funny man but guys in that category are not coming to you. I can want certain qualities too in a woman, all I need to do is to keep approaching women of those qualities. I have better chances that way.

We mostly do the approaching, you mostly do the acceptance. You can't accept what didn't come to you.


And yes, intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare. Why are you finding it difficult to get one if they are scattered everywhere?



What if Dat berry is not Bored afterall? 🤔

I really admire your confidence.

But I think you should not worry about having a boyfriend now. Guys will come but I don't think you're ready yet. What you should focus on now is building yourself into the woman of YOUR dreams. The woman you would like to be. Pursue your interests and hobbies, trust me it is more rewarding and satisfying than trying to chat with all these time wasters called men.

Focus on your career, school, hobbies, dream big and work towards it. It's going to be hard, painful, frustrating, filled with tears and lonely. But what keeps me going are my goals and the life I have envisioned for myself. I know what I want and I'm not going to settle for less.

And I know you won't like this but Albertone is right. The kind of man you want is already wanted by majority of women. So even if you find him, you're going to be up against stiff competition. They call those kind of men level one men. Very rare and hard to find but they exist.


But in case you need an app or website where you want to meet new people (mostly foreigners though) tell me and I'll send you a PM. I just can't drop the website here.

Tenrack:
Una get time dey give audience to OP wahlai. You guys should learn to sift through threads. Our excellent OP here is a know it all. Worse still is she's delusional af. No sane nigga would come close to her with her silly attitude.

She should work on her attitude.. what a Narcissistic young woman.
Make she no worry, she go learn soon enough.

Swears bro she still small nai make

Banilla:
I don't want reliable friends... I need friends who aren't simple/basic/predictable/boring/typical... A boyfriend too. Most Nigerians are stereotypical.

your demands are too much, just tell us that you dont want a sinner, unserious being.

Albertone:




If you sight a high value man, what if he doesn't approach you because he doesn't consider you worthy? He has many options you know.
But if you lower your standards, you have better chances. He now has narrower options so, you may be easily noticed.

As for me, I don't need to lower my standards to meet high value women. I simply approach her.
Example: You can want a very smart and funny man but guys in that category are not coming to you. I can want certain qualities too in a woman, all I need to do is to keep approaching women of those qualities. I have better chances that way.

We mostly do the approaching, you mostly do the acceptance. You can't accept what didn't come to you.


And yes, intelligent, funny Nigerian men are high quality and rare. Why are you finding it difficult to get one if they are scattered everywhere?



What if Dat berry is not Bored afterall? 🤔

You're being hypocritical tho.

I was born 2003, I approach men I like. There's nothing wrong. You shouldn't assume I'm timid.

Your advice is wrong. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship, if I was, I wouldn't be single despite having many options. Why do I need to settle for less? Would you?

In other words, I should give up on finding someone who's my mister right cause he doesn't exist, especially not in Nigeria.

Banilla:
You're being hypocritical tho.

I was born 2003, I approach men I like. There's nothing wrong. You shouldn't assume I'm timid.

Your advice is wrong. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship, if I was, I wouldn't be single despite having many options. Why do I need to settle for less? Would you?

In other words, I should give up on finding someone who's my mister right cause he doesn't exist, especially not in Nigeria.

I read your post
I think you have a lot of growing up and development to do.

Are you an undergraduate?
The kind of guy you are looking for, if you eventually get one will dump you after a short time because of your present state

siofra:
I really admire your confidence.

But I think you should not worry about having a boyfriend now. Guys will come but I don't think you're ready yet. What you should focus on now is building yourself into the woman of YOUR dreams. The woman you would like to be. Pursue your interests and hobbies, trust me it is more rewarding and satisfying than trying to chat with all these time wasters called men.

Focus on your career, school, hobbies, dream big and work towards it. It's going to be hard, painful, frustrating, filled with tears and lonely. But what keeps me going are my goals and the life I have envisioned for myself. I know what I want and I'm not going to settle for less.

And I know you won't like this but Albertone is right. The kind of man you want is already wanted by majority of women. So even if you find him, you're going to be up against stiff competition. They call those kind of men level one men. Very rare and hard to find but they exist.


But in case you need an app or website where you want to meet new people (mostly foreigners though) tell me and I'll send you a PM. I just can't drop the website here.

I am focused. But it's kinda hard spending every day alone. I want someone to talk to or share ideas with... It's nice knowing someone cares for you. There's so much I'm doing this year and i worked very hard to get here.

I'm not asking for someone who's rich. Is it impossible to find someone who's cool?

I know someone who's perfect, he's everything I've wanted. But he's not Nigerian. The longer it gets, the harder it is to wait... I want someone close.

In a few years, everyone expects me to be settled... I'm not looking for commitment... aren't young relationships the best way to discover what we want/don't want in a partner?

Banilla:
You're being hypocritical tho.

I was born 2003, I approach men I like. There's nothing wrong. You shouldn't assume I'm timid.

Your advice is wrong. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship, if I was, I wouldn't be single despite having many options. Why do I need to settle for less? Would you?

In other words, I should give up on finding someone who's my mister right cause he doesn't exist, especially not in Nigeria.

To murder you day hungry me