Never give up on love

If all you said, truely connects. The ball is in your court, but you can still view it from an angle that the mom is only paranoid with her reaction thinking after marriage she might abandon her dreams after all their investment and waits for her returns.If all you said, truely connects. The ball is in your court, but you can still view it from an angle that the mom is only paranoid with her reaction thinking after marriage she might abandon her dreams after all their investment and waits for her returns.If all you said, truely connects. The ball is in your court, but you can still view it from an angle that the mom is only paranoid with her reaction thinking after marriage she might abandon her dreams after all their investment and waits for her returns.

sync:
Never give up on love

my dear it is relative.
Be ready to let go when it will cost you your sanity

henrimoto:
@humblelion, let me ask, can your fiancee's mother afford to send her daughter to the UK ?

Op you must answer this questions o.
Cause to me, e be like person wan use your brain but love no go gree you reason am.

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

This is simple for you to handle, don't tell your girl about your plans because she might be relating it to her people. Just call them for a meeting and tell them that you are not against any of their plans. That the only money you have is to marry their daughter and cannot use it for another thing. That you are okay waiting until they send the girl to the UK before you marry her. End the meeting and go. Let them battle the decision themselves.

Don't do the wedding for now. Stay off. Let your wife to be know your position. The Family will be all out to frustrate you in the end if you agree to their condition. Even if you both travel to the UK, You may not enjoy your marital bliss and the lady may end up leaving you in the end.

Young man, you may get so frustrated. Life is in the UK is not what people think. Great support and understanding is what will see you through and not emotional love. Your wife family will be controlling her and you will get so frustrated. Don't give in to their conditions.

Let things playout from your end and not via your in-laws'. Believe you me, this marriage plan is bound to fail, unless your in-law to be, changed their attitudes. If not, you will be at the losing end. Don't try it.

Be frank with your wife to be and let her know your position and stand by it. Your are now being seen as their piece meal ticket and trust me the moment you cant provide, all hell will be let lose. You will lose out in this game if you don't take the bull by the horn. It takes only a month, after your wedding, to realize that, only love, can not take you through this new phase of your life.

Your wife, should understand and should be the one to sort things out if she truly loves you. Don't force it. If not, there would be another amazing lady that will give you true happiness and peace of mind THAT YOU SO DESIRE.

Even if you are going to travel out later. Don't do it now, not on your supposed in-laws demand. It would be a grave mistake. DONT DO IT!

Gloriagee:
Which multinational company employed you with all your gbaguns? Sha, e no concern me but for this relationship, I will advise you not to rush things. I will also not advise you to marry someone whose family thinks she can do better than you.

OP: I beg you in the name of God to take this advice oo. The girls parent would be a torn in your flesh. I strongly advice you to slow down on things.

henrimoto:
Humblelion, Stand by your fiancee to fight through this phase. The mother is the problem here.

Don't appear to be eager about the wedding before the mother and the family. Tell the mother you have heard her, call off every preparation for the wedding for now but let your fiancee know what your game plan is.

Calm down, na man you be. Just act like you are not interested in the marriage again, make your fiancee dey play her own part by troubling her mother/family.

Humblelion! Humblelion!! Make you no go beg your fiancee mother o. No go beg am o.

My simple solution is for him to give her belle and stand by to watch.

FairlyUSEDpussy:


This life no balance true true......... Graduated in 2018 and served year 2019............

since then no stable job even tho have applied a billion time.........

will be 33 yrs and no plan off getting married self..............

Here's another young man with a good job, car s, comfortable house and already planning to settle down.........at age 33

Be patient, life will happen to you positively.
You can gain speed and achieve in 6 months what your mates took years to achieve.
Envy no one.
Be optimistic, prayerful and focused.


I pray that before this time next year, you'll gain divine intervention, speed, grace and success to achieve much more than you can think of now!

@Humblelion1987

I know this script very well I've been there, mine was that the lady loved me very much but the mother was against the union because I was from the north and that time I was trying to run a start up defense company, I was managing the very little I had prior to then I was doing well and didn't had much resistance, and I never liked dating beyond two years. However the lady from south, that was the mum's premium excuse, she frustrated the daughter to the point of she fainting, you know what would make a mother do that? At the end last last the mom won. That was my very first relationship I invested everything into.

This my take, pray about it first and understand the mind of God concerning your marriage, it could be you're not meant to be, not all that glitters is gold, albeit it could be the mum is a stumbling block, that's why you need clarity first.

Secondly what's the ladies position, mine later fell for the mom's trick and gave in after better frustration (no body can survive adversity for long), so the girl could talk to her mom about it but if they keep insisting, bro move on.

Thirdly you can't force a marriage where you're not welcomed (who go accept your dowry? Mine was returned, it was that bad), first gain clarity you'll then know what to do.

AceRoyal:


Be patient, life will happen to you positively.
You can gain speed and achieve in 6 months what your mates took years to achieve.
Envy no one.
Be optimistic, prayerful and focused.


I pray that before this time next year, you'll gain divine intervention, speed, grace and success to achieve much more than you can think of now!

You no see his moniker? Lols

A piece of advice for you, don't send her
abroad, instead process it and go by yourself then come back and marry her because if you send her abroad they will not allow her to marry you or she can change her mind

JUST GET HER PREGNANT. Story will change sharply.

Just run away with her.


What kind of nonsense is that. Upon all the scarcity of husband

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

Just get the girl pregnant, nobody will beat u, u are an adult

Chai, see better husband. Whereas some women are married to men with no dreams, vision or desire to push for growth. And here is a mother about to make her baby girl lose a good man.
Agree with your babe to pretend like you took a break from the relationship. Infact that you have left her. And then your babe should blame her mom for making someone who cherished her leave. Let her shake the mom and make her feel like a stumbling block in her love journey. Maybe after 2 weeks if mom hears that you guys have made up she will be less in the mood to raise dust again

roseabbey:
A piece of advice for you, don't send her
abroad, instead process it and go by yourself then come back and marry her because if you send her abroad they will not allow her to marry you or she can change her mind

He doesn't need to send her abroad as she can go without his funding because as a nurse if she passes the required exams, many UK agencies and even the NHS would sponsor her relocation.

Attimes some of Una mattas dey give person headache, very easy matta to handle. Just pray 🙏 for wisdom

Stevenbright:
They want to use you to enable her travel out. Once they achieve that, they will go back to their initial objection of differences in tribe. I don't even know why you are forcing yourself on her. They simply don't want you but your money!

So, just move on and count your losses.

Enable who to make her travel out how?
Didnt you see the lady has passed her IELTS and CBT exams, nothing is left again
Once she gets a job, her employer sponsors and she leaves the country.

His money does not matter anymore in this very stage she is in

Ulunne777:

If The mom is looking at you to sponsor the UK journey,then let her allow you ppl to marry first.
What's the big deal?
***If she later agrees make sure you fulfil your promise.Dont use pregnancy to abort her future prospects.

.

His money doesn't matter at this stage, cos she has passed all the required exam to leave the country. It's her employer that will do the sponsor, and the remaining expenses left

FairlyUSEDpussy:


This life no balance true true......... Graduated in 2018 and served year 2019............

since then no stable job even tho have applied a billion time.........

will be 33 yrs and no plan off getting married self..............

Here's another young man with a good job, car s, and comfortable house and already planning to settle down.........at age 33

A lot of 33 years have gone to the grave despite having a good occupation, good health, etc.
Please stay alive, things will eventually turn for good.

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

Standing with her to fight her family will not be the best option.
Don't put more pressure, when she's processing her papers after getting a job, let her add you as
her fiancé (dependency) if she really loves you, then in 6 months you can join her

FairlyUSEDpussy:


This life no balance true true......... Graduated in 2018 and served year 2019............

since then no stable job even tho have applied a billion time.........

will be 33 yrs and no plan off getting married self..............

Here's another young man with a good job, car s, comfortable house and already planning to settle down.........at age 33

You too shall share ur own testimony e go happen and e nor far

Think9ja:
This guy you be real mumu

Since we met, I've done this and that, she doesn't touch her salary, I have bought form for CBT bla bla bla.

All I see is the lamentations of a very weak man. But continue. Shey na the toto de sweet you? E go soon clear for your eyes.

De play, just de play

I totally agree with you. They've seen this guy as a maga. They are already squeezing him. He should tell the girl sort all these issues with her family or forget the relationship.

Pinkyposh:

Enable who to make her travel out how?
Didnt you see the lady has passed her IELTS and CBT exams, nothing is left again
Once she gets a job, her employer sponsors and she leaves the country.

His money does not matter anymore in this very stage she is in

Maybe he said that in subsequent posts. My comment is on the main post. And on that post, no mention of the fact that she already passed the exam but that he registered it for her three times in the space of 6 months.

The worst thing that can happen to you as a Christian is to marry wrong.
I shall explain

I am not talking about marrying an unbeliever. No.
I am talking about marrying someone whose destiny is totally different from yours.
When you get married to that person, you begin to live an alternate destiny, you live a life which is far different from God's plan for your life.

Be careful not to marry the wrong spouse. Not an evil or bad spouse, just the wrong spouse who was meant for someone else's.

May you be delivered from making the wrong life choices. May you listen to God's guidance and direction.
Blessings.

Clarify something here, is her parent wealthy enough to afford her Uk trip? Or are they depending on you to achieve that? Make person understand something first before advice go follow.

Aya buruku se ni, ana buruku ni o da. Ajepako professor of English, please help me to translate it for him

[quote author=LikeAking post=124646514]Keep quiet!

Call off everything, you’ll see how quickly their brain will reset!

And if it doesn’t, be ready to bear the consequences.

LikeAking:
Keep quiet!

Call it off and see wonders happen!

Ajione:



The family might want to use you get there daughter to travel abroad, study them very well, and be sure your wife love you.

You can start the processing of travelling out before your marriage.

Once it click get married and leave but try everything to somehow cut your wife from the parent but take good care of the parent.

It's their daughter and not there daughter 👍

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

It's their daughter and not there daughter 👍

Been there, done that. It ended in premium regret that I am still nursing till now.
I lost a lot of money and that was what pained me most about the relationship.
But I have a feeling that, even though you might also have invested and spent (waste) a lot of money on your supposed fiance, you are still presently better off financially wise than me and wouldn't have a problem bouncing back from your heavy loss.
So my short and simple advice is; chest am, move on!!!
It is unfortunate that like me, you had to learn the hard way.
By refusing my advise, and continuing the relationship and spending/sponsorship of the girl, the subsequent but very certain pains that awaits you might be far greater than the pain you would have had to endure if you move on now, which might push you to do something stupid to yourself or the girl out of vengeance.
Plenty girls dey wey go give you peace of mind and meet your criteria for a potential wife, you will see them.
Move the fvck on from the ungrateful and entitled in-laws and their accomplice daughter.

PS: ignore the advise of those asking you to give the girl belle! You will regret trying it as long as your in-laws are alive to influence their daughter in your marriage. ✌️