StarFlux:

What if he demands money ritual? 

Only a crook would even subject his family to those type of events.

OP

Stay away from Sexkillz.  He is an area boy on okada.   

Mrs, Chima:

Wow. You are on point.

OP, trust me Igbo men take GREAT pride in their wives, children, and family. It is IMPORTANT that his family approves you ESPECIALLY if he really loves you. The ENTIRE FAMILY will know you exist before you even know they exist because an Igbo man in love will shout it with pride.

We are not saying he doesn't love you but some of the things you have shared are alarming. Shine your eyes.

I'm beginning to feel for the op
If she was my sister or child I would have told her to end the union right away to prevent further trauma because as you said I really dont think he loves her

cantell:

What can we do to help you guys fight ur inferiority complex over Igbos?
You guys gotta hold it together. We know you guys are born cowards, but do you have to show it everytime?
@op,
Igbo men are really simple. They're monogamous in nature, they love good food(theirs preferably)neat women and they love their family.
If He truly loves you, then you won't have much problem.
If you can also get along with his family, then i assure you, your marriage is perfect.

I laugh at the bolded! Your heart was telling you opposite of your comments. Be sincere

StarFlux:

What if he demands money ritual? 



@OP Jokes aside, I have a genuin concern about his "reasons" to not let you in contact with his family. It's a serious matter, and you need to discuss it with him.

That is Igbos for you, they can even use their parents for money ritual.

sexkillz:

You get injected with anti-dumb injections!

Your username is affecting your sense of reasoning!

whn did cows start taking human form?

jedisco:

I'm beginning to feel for the op
If she was my sister or child I would have told her to end the union right away to prevent further trauma because as you said I really dont think he loves her

Did your cousin marched around with a trumpet for his wife with your family?

Someone teach me how to love a Yoruba man.

Ileke-IdI:

Someone teach me how to love a Yoruba man.

Just learn the walkthrough.

1. What is money ritual?
2. I've discussed my concerns with him and he always reassures me. he tells me, a rat and a lizard fall into the river but they don't both dry at the same time.
3. I'm starting to understand Igbo, because I'm actively studying it, and Pidgin, too, and he always mixes his conversations with English, so I usually get a general understanding what he's talking about. (That was advice from my mother to learn his language ASAP) I have heard him tell whoever he was talking to that we are in love, he's always talking to a man when he says this, so again I dnt know what his family knows about us as he has a lot of sisters.
4. I've frankly told him if his intentions were solely for papers I could actually get over that. I can get over the financial investments I've made in him. And I wouldn't do anything to jeapordize his position here. And I mean that. But I begged him not to let me continue investing emotionally and waste my time if those are his plans.

He is a God-fearing man, he actually found me at church, although he doesn't attend a church regular here. He acts as though no church here is good enough if its not like his church in 9ja. But he is always praying, always singing praises, and reads his bible. At the end of the day, he knows my Father and will have him to answer to. I'm just trying to keep my security planted in God as well. No matter what happens, God is my everything and my sustainer.

dtanigwe:

He is a God-fearing man, he actually found me at church, although he doesn't attend a church regular here. He acts as though no church here is good enough if its not like his church in 9ja. But he is always praying, always singing praises, and reads his bible. At the end of the day, he knows my Father and will have him to answer to. I'm just trying to keep my security planted in God as well. No matter what happens, God is my everything and my sustainer.

At this point I'm no longer concerned with his intentions. I know my worth and if he chooses to violate that then he's the fool. I'm just trying to make sure I do my part so my concience can always be clear.

We wish you well.

Ileke-IdI:

Someone teach me how to love a Yoruba man.

Post that white guy doing the walkthrough.

Mrs, Chima:

Did your cousin marched around with a trumpet for his wife with your family?

Definitely not. But I was brought up to believe that marriage does not just bring two people together but also two families.
Also in our family we know and are usually in good terms with any intending spouse (except one) . Moreover I think a man who doesn't listen to his parents will not listen to his wife also

dtanigwe:

1. What is money ritual?
2. I've discussed my concerns with him and he always reassures me. he tells me, a rat and a lizard fall into the river but they don't both dry at the same time.
3. I'm starting to understand Igbo, because I'm actively studying it, and Pidgin, too, and he always mixes his conversations with English, so I usually get a general understanding what he's talking about. (That was advice from my mother to learn his language ASAP) I have heard him tell whoever he was talking to that we are in love, he's always talking to a man when he says this, so again I dnt know what his family knows about us as he has a lot of sisters.
4. I've frankly told him if his intentions were solely for papers I could actually get over that. I can get over the financial investments I've made in him. And I wouldn't do anything to jeapordize his position here. And I mean that. But I begged him not to let me continue investing emotionally and waste my time if those are his plans.

He is a God-fearing man, he actually found me at church, although he doesn't attend a church regular here. He acts as though no church here is good enough if its not like his church in 9ja. But he is always praying, always singing praises, and reads his bible. At the end of the day, he knows my Father and will have him to answer to. I'm just trying to keep my security planted in God as well. No matter what happens, God is my everything and my sustainer.

1. Money ritual is superstitious nonsense. If you notice it was brought up by some bigots.
2. Its good u are learning his language. But Igbo is a very hard and complex language to learn. I doubt you know it that well as he may be talking about u and you wont even suspect anything
3. About discussing your concerns. Its ok but you have to put your feet down and get to know his family fast
4. Dont be carried away by his proverbs (typical with Igbos) or his going to church. It doesn't change who he really is
5. Dont act like you have nothing to loose if there is a break up. You never know how you might react to something until you experience it

In summary I may sound pessimist (although I'm just looking at it as a fellow Igbo man would do) your relationship with this man has very basic issues you need to sort out immediately. And mind you those looking for papers do not go telling their spouses to their face rather they tend to play the good guy.

She  ask for advice "how to love her Igbo man"
Please all back off the dude business about green Card
Please don't listen  to all the BS about the dude is going to use you for green Card
Treat your husband with respect and don't disrespect him because you are giving him green card, If you have any problem don't bring up the green card Issue
Good luck

@ OP, I'm Igbo.

Once you marry an Igbo, you're married to his family. This is the basic.

The first thing you have to do is talk to his mother. Talk to her as often as possible and always refer to her as mum. Once you have her on your side, there's nothing to worry about in your marriage because she will fight him if he treats you bad.

Don't mind those that said he doesn't love because he hasn't introduced you to his family. It's your duty to make sure you know his parents and siblings; everyone of them. Push him until he introduces you to his family. This is very important.

Don't worry about relocating to Nigeria because often, Igbos in the US will remain in the US but will often visit Nigeria and try to go with him whenever he goes to Nigeria.

dtanigwe:

1. What is money ritual?
2. I've discussed my concerns with him and he always reassures me. he tells me, a rat and a lizard fall into the river but they don't both dry at the same time.
3. I'm starting to understand Igbo, because I'm actively studying it, and Pidgin, too, and he always mixes his conversations with English, so I usually get a general understanding what he's talking about. (That was advice from my mother to learn his language ASAP) I have heard him tell whoever he was talking to that we are in love, he's always talking to a man when he says this, so again I dnt know what his family knows about us as he has a lot of sisters.
4. I've frankly told him if his intentions were solely for papers I could actually get over that. I can get over the financial investments I've made in him. And I wouldn't do anything to jeapordize his position here. And I mean that. But I begged him not to let me continue investing emotionally and waste my time if those are his plans.

He is a God-fearing man, he actually found me at church, although he doesn't attend a church regular here. He acts as though no church here is good enough if its not like his church in 9ja. But he is always praying, always singing praises, and reads his bible. At the end of the day, he knows my Father and will have him to answer to. I'm just trying to keep my security planted in God as well. No matter what happens, God is my everything and my sustainer.

Educate yourself and don't allow some people to deceive you. Go here and you will understand my stance:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-310284.0.html

Thant is one in a million. Have you heard about Clifford Orji?  
Be warned and don't fall prey for the bigots giving you wrong advice

success4:

Educate yourself and don't allow some people to deceive you. Go here and you will understand my stance:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-310284.0.html

Thant is one in a million. Have you heard about Clifford Orji?  
Be warned and don't fall prey for the bigots giving you wrong advice

This is not the place for your tribal bigotry.  Get over yourself.
If you ruin someone's marriage and happiness because of your hate for the Igbo, so your marriage will be destroyed by outsiders and forever will you remain unhappy.

success4:

Educate yourself and don't allow some people to deceive you. Go here and you will understand my stance:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-310284.0.html

Thant is one in a million. Have you heard about Clifford Orji?  
Be warned and don't fall prey for the bigots giving you wrong advice

I actually did google it and found that posting. Informative, thankyou.

Obiagu1:

This is not the place for your tribal bigotry.  Get over yourself.
If you ruin someone's marriage and happiness because your hate for the Igbo, so your marriage will be destroyed by outsiders and forever will you remain unhappy.

My marriage destroyed? I laugh After how many children? With real love and not deception like Igbos people.
I see your marriage getting destroyed, yes you read well. And if you are not marry, you can't find good home because
of deception, say the truth and truth shall set you free. One of my family has terrible experience with Igbos, so what do you
expect from me? To hide the truth? smh

At OP:
This link will also help you      https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-341691.0.html
Igbos are terrible set of people. They know that for sure

This is not a place for Yoruba vs Igbo fight.



Heartless Yoruba Dad Stole His Four-day-old Baby For Money Ritual

Link: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-338607.0.html

A Yoruba used a hunchback for money ritual

Link: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-850144.0.html

Yoruba ritual killers invade Ilorin: Residents Live In Fear!

Link: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-804975.0.html

Ritual Killing In Yorubaland: 9 Yrs Old Girl Beheaded

Link:  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-662132.0.html

Obiagu1:

A Yoruba used a hunchback for ritual

Link: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-850144.0.html

[size=18pt]Stop trolling[/size]! Nobody argues the fact that money ritual rock in Africa not only in Nigeria.
This thread is about Igbos. And we gotta help the op. My nephew joined the silence
ones through the Igbo man she married and it was latter discovered she was used for money
ritual by her Igbos husband, so I am speaking from this angle not those junk you posted

^^^

I told you this is not a place for your silly Yoruba vs Igbo fight.

No this thread is not about Igbo any more, it's about Yoruba.

Silly Yoruba slowpoke!

OP! The same way u Love any man. Body,Spirit and Soul.

OP: Just be careful. They are terrible set of people.
Get this and also educate yourself
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-851964.96.html

If this guy liked you, he won't speak strange language when you do not understand it.

Obiagu1:

^^^

I told you this is not a place for your silly Yoruba vs Igbo fight.

No this thread is not about Igbo any more, it's about Yoruba.

Silly Yoruba slowpoke!

Why this insult for saying the truth? Oh, I have touched raw nerve.
I don't support mediocrity.Opuro!

there is no such thing as a terrible people, only terrible persons, individuals.

dtanigwe:

there is no such thing as a terrible people, only terrible persons, individuals.

. . . and success4 is one of those terrible people.

Obiagu1:

. . . and success4 is one of those terrible people.

for exposing the truth?

dtanigwe:

there is no such thing as a terrible people, only terrible persons, individuals.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-766481.0.html

Just be rest assured you are WARNED

@ OP

Going by what you said, in Igboland family is important. Try and find ways to talk to his mother and his sisters, this immediate family are important to an Igbo man.  Once you marry an Igbo man you've married his entire family, the same way once he marries you, he's married to your entire family. Thus whenever they are in need, all they have to do is say so and he'll help if he can.  An Igbo man not introducing you to his family even though you are married to him is suspicious to say the least. In as much as you love him, the same love might not be reciprocal.  Try and befriend his family, call his family in his presence or absence, do what you can to get to the bottom of it. In Igboland, family is everything.

back to the topic
continue doing what you are doing; I'll be pleased if my wife did all that for me. He might not show it but he appreciates what you are doing.

success4:

for exposing the truth?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-766481.0.html

Just be rest assured you are WARNED

why is this thread paining you so much? Is it inferiority complex?
can someone, preferably a non-nigerian, please open a thread about how to love a Yoruba man even if you do not mean it so success4 can stop crying.
Ebezina, ndo