₦airaland Forum

Yeah, I started out just being nice to her cos she was having problems with her dad(my uncle).Next thing we were cuddling and doing stuff. Before we could cross the line, We came to our senses. Am glad we did not , or get caught. Anyway that was quite a long time ago!

Well,one cannot generalize on this topic. It depends on a lot of factors,which I wont enumerate for now. Me,am from CRS,am married to a Yoruba lady,and I know for a fact that am much better than if I were married to someone from my tribe. My most senior brother was married to an Ibo lady till she died,and he did not have any complains,the boy next to him is married to a lady from Plateau state with no regrets!2 of my sisters are married to boys from Delta,and one of my other brothers,married to a lady from Delta. Non of  us has any problems with these choices.BUT the fundamental thing, is that we all live independent lives and do not tolerate family interference in our homes. The only person with marital problems is my sister married to a guy from our tribe!
I guess the extended family consider us all rebels!
So does tribe matter in love and marriage?- YES and NO,BUt the most important factor is the couple concerned and how they choose to live their lives-To please others OR to ensure their own happiness. Me I know what I want,and no tradition,cultural expectations will influence me! There are as many broken homes in same tribe marriages as there are in different tribe relationships(don't quote me sha!)

raldsfield ,thanks for your comments ma broda!It is not easy,but it is very possible to make the best out of any terrible experience. You have the right attitude,so just keep it up. I have thought many times of writng a book,but I sometimes feel no one will believe the stories I have! If you ever write the book,make sure I get a copy.
Marraige works ,only when both partners are committed to making it work. But most importantly, both partners should share a common belief, have open communication, and avoid interference from others(whoever they may be!)

Raldsfield I clap for you Being from a broken home can affect someone either positively or negatively. You cannot therefore generalize. I grew up from a broken home BIG TIME(imagine having to see 6 women come and go!). I never knew my mother till age 21. I was determined never to marry cos all women were heart breakers or so I thought. BUT the day I witnessed my first delievery in a labour room,I saw what women go through to give birth. It was a rude awakening for me! I cried and forgave my mother in my heart,and promised to henceforth treat women with more respect, love and all. Today, am married,and my wife comes FIRST before anyone. I don't think I have been a bad husband and father-my experience from a broken home, I used as a positive influence. Quite a lot of homes get broken because the couple allow "the family" to interfere in their home. Call me wicked if you want,I don't allow any so-called family to tell me how to run my home. You try it,relationship don end be that!
The answer to the question-Yes, I would marry someone from a broken home,provided I love the person,and she loves me in return.

What of Zule-zoo with their Kerawa music video? Are they natural enough?! Even the so-called foreign stars that are winning awards are copy cats! There is very little originality in the music industry these days. The late 70s to the mid 80s saw a lot of original/natural compositions without computer gimmics that seem to prevail these days. There is a lot that needs to be done in the Nigerian music and film industry,as in all aspects of the society. Any one that can contribute to improve the situation,should please come forward and play their role.

Hey,this may be too personal for some. Did anyone catch the Oprah show about a 25 yr old lady who has slept with about 90 men! Did she date all these guys or they were flings!? I remember when I was doing youth service,there was a 19yr old girl who got pregnant. When investigations to determine the "papa" was carried out, WOW! She named 35 guys.
Me, happily married.So the past, is past.But I certainly can't compete with some of the guys/gals of the younger generation. Unlike some,I certainly can remember the number,but I aint saying.

I doubt if one can say enough about the impact of nairaland. There are just too many good things to gain. The arguments and sometimes abusive exchanges not withstanding,I wouldn't stop veiwing this site!(I have tried but just can't stay away!!?).
Nairaland has kept me abreast with happenings at home. It has shown me that quite a lot of people have gone through or are going through similar "bad" experiences. It has shown me that though we shout, scream and curse our fatherland, Nigerians still love the country oh!
It has proven to me that Nigeria has a lot of young and talented guys and gals. Abeg I don tire.
Seun,weldone for developing this site. Just keep on doing your best with a clear conscience. You can't satisfy everybody all the time,so dont try!

Hey Nikinash,thanks for asking. Am grossly overweight believe me! Am 5 7inch in height.BMI is > 30!
No chance of me ever being skinny-I can't remember ever being tiny except in Secondary school,and even then, I was bigger than lots of others.
for some years I was able to control my weight at 85 to 92kg.But in the last 5years,I  have increasingly become more sedentary,and less active.My present job and abode means more time sitting down and less exercise. I can imagine the stare and horror!of a heavy black guy jogging on the streets of Quetta!! I get mugged when walking from home to office,and back,and that is just a 10 minute walk in a "safe" estate. However,am begining to discover things I can do that do not cause me severe lower back pain(whch I guess is due to the weight!)

Yeah,this thread has indeed made me laugh so hard and so much.Hahahahahahaha.
It can be quite a nightmare to "loose" things, only to find them later in the most unlikely place.
I remember looking everywhere for the key to my home,only to "find" my keyholder hanging on my left index finger. Quite frustrating as I must have spent more than an hour ranting and raving,and praying that someone had not taken it to steal some money I had inside! what a laugh.

I weigh 110 kg. Want to loose 20kg(at first).Target is 6months. Have started alternate day exercises-climbing stairs,regular works. Hope to start cycling as soon as my body adjusts. Dietary control is a bit tough,as am not very much in control of what I get to eat.
Check the following websites: http://www.beliefet.com/healthhandhealing/getcontent.aspx?cid=2107 (or simply search for beliefnet:health and healing),and http://www.webmd.com.
Lots of articles on health isssues including weight loss.
There is no simple answer,no magi formula.
It needs hard work,and a support group is a great idea.
Kudos to you Nikinash!

I wonder how they select the winners! How come U2 won so many awards?!Didnt even know they were still in music! Dont get me wrong,I have always loved their music(am of the older generation!!),but 5 grammys in 2006?!Too much,what are the younger generation of musicians doing?

Sleep: Are You Getting Enough?
by Constance Pittman Lindner

True or false?

*The elderly don't need as much sleep as younger people.

*Bleary-eyed drivers can stay awake better by cranking up the car stereo and rolling down the windows.

*Nighttime shift workers eventually readjust to their late hours.

*Boredom makes you tired.

They're all false. But if you got them wrong, you're not alone. A recent telephone survey of 1,027 people conducted by the National Sleep Foundation found that 85% failed a simple 12-question quiz on sleep. Not only did they "flunk the exam," but two-thirds of those polled also reported sleeping difficulties.

"It's astounding that you can go through your whole education learning about proper nutrition and hygiene but not getting adequate sleep, said Thomas Roth, Ph.D., Health and Scientific Advisor of the National Sleep Foundation as well as director of the Sleep Disorders Research Center at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. "Only once did my children get taught about sleep in school. It was the night before a state exam, and the children were told to get a good night's sleep in preparation. That's it."

"Most of us need eight hours of sound sleep to function at our best, and good health demands good sleep," explained Roth. The problem: Americans are averaging only about seven hours of sleep a night. One in three gets only six hours a night. "People have no idea how important sleep is to their lives," he stated.

The Function of Sleep
Why IS sleep so critical to our well-being? If resting in bed were all it took to recharge body and mind for the coming day, insomniacs could take in their favorite late night television and start the next day fresh. But surprisingly, it's not how much sleep you get that's important—it's the level of sleep you achieve that truly restores you, body and mind.

Sleep can be divided into two crucial phases:

Non-rapid eye movement sleep (NREM) sleep takes up 80% of the average dreamer's night. The earliest phase of NREM sleep begins with general relaxation of muscles. This relaxed state eventually culminates in the deepest sleep level when protein synthesis, growth hormones, immune function and the mind are given a boost. Delta waves—the slowest and largest waves—signal the onset of this most rejuvenating sleep level, which constitutes 50% of the an adult's sleep time.
Rapid eye movement sleep (REM) sleep takes up about 25% of an average sleeper's night, and is the period that proves most restorative to the mind. Dreams that occur during REM sleep provide, in a sense, a sorting through of free-floating information. Prolonged REM deprivation has been linked to excessively anxious or emotional behavior that dissipates once more regular sleeping habits are achieved. REM sleep is the most important period for mental revitalization.
Risky Consequences from Sleeplessness
According to the National Sleep Foundation, an estimated $35 billion is lost yearly in productivity, sick leave, medical expenses, and property and environmental damage because of sleep deprivation and untreated sleep disorders. It's more than a simple matter of dragging yourself through the day. On-the-job dozing can dearly cost the sleep-deprived worker and those around him. For example, the environmentally disastrous 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska reportedly involved the sleepiness of the tanker's third-mate.

The problem also hits much closer to home. Driver fatigue has been identified as the greatest accident risk factor affecting motor carriers. Furthermore, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that more than 100,000 crashes per year are caused by drivers nodding off behind the wheel and that thousands die as the result of such accidents.

The National Sleep Foundation's poll even found that 23% of those questioned had dozed off while driving some time in the past year. It would seem that people know not to drive drunk but not to refrain from driving tired. Rolled-down windows, the car's blaring stereo, and a strong cup of Joe is not going to restore all the alertness necessary for safe driving. If your eyes are closing on you, the only surefire way to save your life as well as others' is to pull over to the side of the road and give in to sleep.

In addition to productivity and safety consequences, research shows that people who are chronically sleep deprived may also be more likely to suffer from:

Depression
Heart disease
Decreased enjoyment in life
Poor work performance, leading to increased absenteeism and decreased number of promotions

Is Lifestyle the Culprit?
How is it that there is an epidemic of sleepiness so severe in the United States that it kills people regularly? In the first decade of this century—prior to the widespread usage of electricity—Americans basically bedded down at nightfall. Since then, they have lived increasingly longer days. They also lead driven lifestyles, attempting to balance successful career and home lives. The exhausting modern schedule leaves little time for the "luxury" of sleep.

Today's lifestyle is so busy that people often don't have the time to recognize the symptoms of fatigue unless they're at a task that bores them. This has given rise to the notion that boredom brings on sleepiness. In truth, boredom only brings sleepiness to your attention.

Who is Most Affected?
Late shift workers. Not only do Americans give up a good night's rest in an attempt to keep up with the hectic pace of the electronic age, many, including late shift health care, military and public safety workers, nuclear power plant operators, medical residents, and long-haul truck drivers, are building daily schedules against the body's natural circadian rhythm. That rhythm dictates that the longest period of sleepiness occurs during the hours of 1–6 a.m. Thus, people who work the late shift lose out on the time that the body is programmed for the deepest and most beneficial sleep.

Older adults. The elderly, too, cope with a special set of difficulties that keeps them from getting the sleep they need. Aging brings on a host of health-related problems that interrupt sleep, such as pain from arthritis, medications with side effects that disturb rest, or depression brought on by the discomforts of the aging process. More than any other population, the elderly rely on medications that keep them up at night. Moreover, a more sedentary lifestyle doesn't allow for the expenditure of energy that results in restful sleep. Last, a slowing of what is known as delta wave activity in the brain doesn't allow for the same degree of deep sleep per night as enjoyed in youth.

But none of this means in any way that the elderly don't need as much rest as everyone else. The combination of conditions that change the sleep habits of the elderly only indicates that they need to alter their sleep habits so that they get enough shut-eye.

Crib Sheet
In general, people are so used to going without enough sleep that they don't recognize that their sleeping habits make sound slumber unlikely. Following these simple tips will help you settle down for a good night's rest. To improve the quality of your sleep as well as to get more restful sleep:


Avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and exercise at least four hours before bedtime. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants, and alcohol, though a depressant that makes falling asleep easier initially, interferes with deep sleep later on during the night. Exercise also acts as a stimulant, but a workout earlier in the day can improve nighttime rest.
Leave worrying outside the bed. If you stay awake worrying about things you have to tackle the next day, write out a list of "to-dos" to take the pressure off. Then put the list aside to deal with the next day.
Keep other activities out of the bedroom. Don't confuse your bedroom with your family room. Keep your television viewing and Net surfing out of your sleeping quarters. You need to associate your bedroom with sleep and not activities that will keep your mind engaged.
Don't try to "force" yourself to sleep. You'll just lie awake staring at the clock. After 20 minutes of wakefulness, go to another room to read or watch TV. Return to your bedroom only when you've become tired enough to sleep.
Temperature counts. Keep your bedroom set up for a restful night's sleep with a comfortable mattress and proper temperature setting. A too-hot or too-cold room can keep you awake.
Reduce noise levels. Apartment-dwellers with noisy neighbors or those on heavily trafficked streets can block out noise with a fan or sound-simulating machine that mimic nature sounds (such as the ocean or rain).
Avoid stimulation before sleeping. Try not to engage in anything that will give you a second wind just before bed, such as viewing an action-packed movie or sitting in a brightly lit room. Instead, try listening to soothing music or reading.
Slow down. Don't hurriedly get ready for bed at the last minute. Do your washing up and teeth-brushing a while in advance. Try to stick with an early-to-bed, early-to-rise pattern. That way, you won't go to bed too late during the work week and need an alarm clock each morning to wake you out of a sound sleep.

If you're troubled with chronic difficulties falling asleep—or staying asleep—see a doctor. You may discover, for example, that what seems like simple snoring is actually sleep apnea, a treatable condition that repeatedly rouses an estimated 18 million Americans from their dreams during the night.

Other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome (involuntary jerking of the legs just when drifting off) and narcolepsy (sleepiness varying in intensity from weakness when laughing to feeling as though you could sleep endlessly without feeling sated) should also be discussed with your physician. Along with treating specific disorders, physicians may recommend any of several behavioral treatments, such as progressive relaxation techniques, biofeedback, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, and/or meditation. As a last resort, your doctor may prescribe sleep aids such as the benzodiazepines estazolam (ProSom), flurazepam (Dalmane), quazepam (Doral), temazepam (Restoril), and triazolam (Halcion), antidepressant medications, the cyclopyralone zaleplon (Sonata), or the imidazopyridine class drug zolpidem (Ambien).

RESOURCES:

National Center on Sleep Disorders Research
NIH National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/

American Academy of Sleep Medicine
http://www.aasmnet.org/

National Sleep Foundation
http://www.sleepfoundation.org/

MESSAGE TO THE PONTIFICAL ACADEMY OF SCIENCES:
ON EVOLUTION
Pope John Paul II

Magisterium Is Concerned with Question of Evolution for It Involves Conception of Man
Message delivered to the Pontifical Academy of Sciences 22 October 1996
To the members of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, in plenary assembly:
It is with great pleasure that I send my cordial greetings to you, Mr. President, and to all of you who constitute the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, on the occasion of your plenary assembly. I send my particular best wishes to the new members of the Academy, who come to take part in your work for the first time. I also wish to recall the members who have died in the course of the past year; I entrust them to the Maker of all life.
1. In celebrating the 60th anniversary of the re-foundation of the Academy, it gives me pleasure to recall the intentions of my predecessor, Pius XI, who wished to bring together around him a chosen group of scholars who could, working with complete freedom, inform the Holy See about the developments in scientific research and thus provide aid for reflections.
To those whom he enjoyed calling the Scientific Senate of the Church, he asked simply this: that they serve the truth. That is the same invitation which I renew today, with the certainty that we can all draw profit from "the fruitfulness of frank dialogue between the Church and science." (Discourse to the Academy of Sciences, October 28, 1986, #1)
2. I am delighted with the first theme which you have chosen: the origin of life and evolution—an essential theme of lively interest to the Church, since Revelation contains some of its own teachings concerning the nature and origins of man. How should the conclusions reached by the diverse scientific disciplines be brought together with those contained in the message of Revelation? And if at first glance these views seem to clash with each other, where should we look for a solution? We know that the truth cannot contradict the truth. (Leo XIII, Providentissimus Deus) However, in order better to understand historical reality, your research into the relationships between the Church and the scientific community between the 16th and 18th centuries will have a great deal of importance.
In the course of this plenary session, you will be undertaking a "reflection on science in the shadow of the third millennium," and beginning to determine the principal problems which the sciences face, which have an influence on the future of humanity. By your efforts, you will mark out the path toward solutions which will benefit all of the human community. In the domain of nature, both living and inanimate, the evolution of science and its applications gives rise to new inquiries. The Church will be better able to expand her work insofar as we understand the essential aspects of these new developments. Thus, following her specific mission, the Church will be able to offer the criteria by which we may discern the moral behavior to which all men are called, in view of their integral salvation.
3. Before offering a few more specific reflections on the theme of the origin of life and evolution, I would remind you that the magisterium of the Church has already made some pronouncements on these matters, within her own proper sphere of competence. I will cite two such interventions here.
In his encyclical Humani Generis (1950), my predecessor Pius XII has already affirmed that there is no conflict between evolution and the doctrine of the faith regarding man and his vocation, provided that we do not lose sight of certain fixed points.
For my part, when I received the participants in the plenary assembly of your Academy on October 31, 1992, I used the occasion—and the example of Gallileo—to draw attention to the necessity of using a rigorous hermeneutical approach in seeking a concrete interpretation of the inspired texts. It is important to set proper limits to the understanding of Scripture, excluding any unseasonable interpretations which would make it mean something which it is not intended to mean. In order to mark out the limits of their own proper fields, theologians and those working on the exegesis of the Scripture need to be well informed regarding the results of the latest scientific research.
4. Taking into account the scientific research of the era, and also the proper requirements of theology, the encyclical Humani Generis treated the doctrine of "evolutionism" as a serious hypothesis, worthy of investigation and serious study, alongside the opposite hypothesis. Pius XII added two methodological conditions for this study: one could not adopt this opinion as if it were a certain and demonstrable doctrine, and one could not totally set aside the teaching Revelation on the relevant questions. He also set out the conditions on which this opinion would be compatible with the Christian faith—a point to which I shall return.
Today, more than a half-century after the appearance of that encyclical, some new findings lead us toward the recognition of evolution as more than an hypothesis.* In fact it is remarkable that this theory has had progressively greater influence on the spirit of researchers, following a series of discoveries in different scholarly disciplines. The convergence in the results of these independent studies—which was neither planned nor sought—constitutes in itself a significant argument in favor of the theory.
What is the significance of a theory such as this one? To open this question is to enter into the field of epistemology. A theory is a meta-scientific elaboration, which is distinct from, but in harmony with, the results of observation. With the help of such a theory a group of data and independent facts can be related to one another and interpreted in one comprehensive explanation. The theory proves its validity by the measure to which it can be verified. It is constantly being tested against the facts; when it can no longer explain these facts, it shows its limits and its lack of usefulness, and it must be revised.
Moreover, the elaboration of a theory such as that of evolution, while obedient to the need for consistency with the observed data, must also involve importing some ideas from the philosophy of nature.
And to tell the truth, rather than speaking about the theory of evolution, it is more accurate to speak of the theories of evolution. The use of the plural is required here—in part because of the diversity of explanations regarding the mechanism of evolution, and in part because of the diversity of philosophies involved. There are materialist and reductionist theories, as well as spiritualist theories. Here the final judgment is within the competence of philosophy and, beyond that, of theology.
5. The magisterium of the Church takes a direct interest in the question of evolution, because it touches on the conception of man, whom Revelation tells us is created in the image and likeness of God. The conciliar constitution Gaudium et Spes has given us a magnificent exposition of this doctrine, which is one of the essential elements of Christian thought. The Council recalled that "man is the only creature on earth that God wanted for its own sake." In other words, the human person cannot be subordinated as a means to an end, or as an instrument of either the species or the society; he has a value of his own. He is a person. By this intelligence and his will, he is capable of entering into relationship, of communion, of solidarity, of the gift of himself to others like himself. St. Thomas observed that man's resemblance to God resides especially in his speculative intellect, because his relationship with the object of his knowledge is like God's relationship with his creation. (Summa Theologica I-II, q 3, a 5, ad 1) But even beyond that, man is called to enter into a loving relationship with God himself, a relationship which will find its full expression at the end of time, in eternity. Within the mystery of the risen Christ the full grandeur of this vocation is revealed to us. (Gaudium et Spes, 22) It is by virtue of his eternal soul that the whole person, including his body, possesses such great dignity. Pius XII underlined the essential point: if the origin of the human body comes through living matter which existed previously, the spiritual soul is created directly by God ("animas enim a Deo immediate creari catholica fides non retimere iubet". (Humani Generis)
As a result, the theories of evolution which, because of the philosophies which inspire them, regard the spirit either as emerging from the forces of living matter, or as a simple epiphenomenon of that matter, are incompatible with the truth about man. They are therefore unable to serve as the basis for the dignity of the human person.
6. With man, we find ourselves facing a different ontological order—an ontological leap, we could say. But in posing such a great ontological discontinuity, are we not breaking up the physical continuity which seems to be the main line of research about evolution in the fields of physics and chemistry? An appreciation for the different methods used in different fields of scholarship allows us to bring together two points of view which at first might seem irreconcilable. The sciences of observation describe and measure, with ever greater precision, the many manifestations of life, and write them down along the time-line. The moment of passage into the spiritual realm is not something that can be observed in this way—although we can nevertheless discern, through experimental research, a series of very valuable signs of what is specifically human life. But the experience of metaphysical knowledge, of self-consciousness and self-awareness, of moral conscience, of liberty, or of aesthetic and religious experience—these must be analyzed through philosophical reflection, while theology seeks to clarify the ultimate meaning of the Creator's designs.
7. In closing, I would like to call to mind the Gospel truth which can shed a greater light on your researches into the origins and the development of living matter. The Bible, in fact, bears an extraordinary message about life. It shows us life, as it characterizes the highest forms of existence, with a vision of wisdom. That vision guided me in writing the encyclical which I have consecrated to the respect for human life and which I have entitled precisely The Gospel of Life.
It is significant that in the Gospel of St. John, life refers to that divine light which Christ brings to us. We are called to enter into eternal life, which is to say the eternity of divine beatitude.
To set us on guard against the grave temptations which face us, our Lord cites the great words of Deuteronomy: "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Deut 8:3; Mt 4:4)
Even more, life is one of the most beautiful titles which the Bible gives to God; he is the living God.
With a full heart, I invoke upon all of you, and all to whom you are close, an abundance of divine blessings.
From the Vatican, October 22, 1996, John Paul II

EWTN Note on translation:
The English edition at first translated the French original as: "Today, more than a half-century after the appearance of that encyclical, some new findings lead us toward the recognition of more than one hypothesis within the theory of evolution." The L'Osservatore Romano English Edition subsequently amended the text to that given in the body of the message above, citing the translation of the other language editions as its reason. It should be noted that an hypothesis is the preliminary stage of the scientific method and the Pope's statement suggests nothing more than that science has progressed beyond that stage. This is certainly true with respect to cosmological evolution (the physical universe), whose science both Pius XII and John Paul II have praised, but not true in biology, about which the popes have generally issued cautions (as above and Humani Generis). [CBD] Return

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Hey wiseguy!What do you want from your mum?!You dont need anything from her,niether does she deserve anything from you.Imagine her nerves. She will go to the village and die!Is that a threat?!Keep the 50K,so you can send some for her burial. The only person you owe anything is the teacher that helped you and the fiancee that has stood by you. Please man,what are you afraid of. Why allow your mum to make life miserable for you and your future wife. I wont say anymore! My feelings are quite obvious. Make a life for yourself,and tell your mum to her face to shove off.You dont owe her anything!
Jclord, thanks a million.
The Bible says "the man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and the two shall become one". What other encouragement do we need about where our heart,souls and money should lie!

Hey,I have accounts in all 3. I do believe Gmail is best becos of the size of the information you can get,and other features mentioned by Seun. Yahoo comes next. Hotmail lost its best  feature when it stopped free Outlook express. I have it and that is why I maintain a hotmail account. Important and long mails can be downloaded and read at your leisure,especially if you have your own computer.Such feature is useful too if you are sharing computer and have limited internet access(sadly it is no longer free). I hope more people come over to Gmail,so I can use my Gmail account better.

With a suppportive husband, I think you should concentrate on your immediate family and make yourself as comfortable as you all can. Next time your mum calls, tell her to come visit and talk,then drop the phone and never respond to her calls till she comes to see you and your family. As for paying for her ludicrous demands, you can't give her,what you don't have,and she does not deserve any sacrifices from your part. You can't buy her love,so don't try to think you can win her by giving in to her demands.She appears quite selfish and self centered! Think of yourself,your husband and kids-those are the ones that deserve your love and attention.

I have a mother that left me at 3,and has continued to reject all my attempts to develop a relationship with her. Now,I just send money to her via her brother-because I know she is in need,even if she is too stupid to know what to do! Am not interested in her love, I just pity her,because she will suffer less,if she were more loving or caring. I have been married 8years,have 2kids(one named after her),but she has never seen them,and I don't know even if cares. One thing I know, I don't care whether she cares or loves or not. I don't hate her,I have forgiven all the hurt(hence my giving my daughter her name),I will send her money when I can afford to. That is all I owe her. If she ever surprises me,by visiting-I will welcome her with open arms.But I am not going to crawl to her,no way.

Lady, please live your own live and stop making yourself and your family sad over this issue. Sorry that is how I feel.

This post has evolved ME into homo happinessis.
Evolu-what?!Joke of the century. Remember,people used to believe the world was flat!The guy who argued differently,was forced(murdered) to take poison.Now we are all much wiser eh!May be someone will soon tell us the world is hexagonal,and some will believe!
I only believe one thing!GOD CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH. Period! NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER JARGON WILL CHANGE THAT. WANNA TRY,NFERYN?!

Hey Pielect!Thanks for the tip man.But I guess am jinxed or just plain unlucky.Anyhow,this is Pakistan,anything is (im)possible!Imagine,we have appealed to our cable guys to get Supersport 3 for us and they refuse-claiming govt restrictions. So far with your advise I can see lots of goals videos,but no Nations Cup! I will keep trying-afterall I bi naija man!Thanks sha,it is a good site!

What I'm wondering is if these traditional institutions, even though they don't have formal power, are legitimate in the eyes of the constituents? This could be a basis for a ground-roots political organization
Posted on: Today at 02:46:32 PMPosted by: nferyn

Nferyn,I like your thought process on this issue. I wish we had lots of Nigerians with like minds.For most of us Nigerians,however, all hope is almost lost. We have been disillusioned for so long.The traditional institution has being corrupted by the politicians-so "he who pays the piper,...." Monies sent home from abroad are to individuals and/or families-most are not really invested even if that were the intention of the sender. I wont talk about my own experience here.But most people at home,just believe and expect a continuous stream of monies from those abroad!
I have always steered clear of politics,may be it is time,the young ones start putting up a resistance,and this may bring some much needed changes in the political terrain.Sadly,though,a lot of young guys are doing much worse than the old politicians in the money grabbing politics we have now!

Hi,tried for more than 2hrs with no success.All this Chinese xter gives me a headache.Any simpler versions or further advise?!I really am missing the Nations cup!

Wow,wow.Am glad to "see" you all.Had a frustrating weekend without NL + I have not been enjoying the best of health. I wonder how much of it was due to lack of NL. I support the call for voluntary contributions from those who can afford it. I know money is a sensitive topic!Seun just get in touch(pm)with those  who have shown their interest and work out the best way we can help. Kudos,and welcome back!

Hurray!Nigeria won the game by 1 goal to o.Let us pray this is the beginning of a winningn streak till the end.Amen

Hey girl-CONCRATULATIONS! Your guy must be an incredible guy.He has got style.
Hot Angel!You too young girl-!you got many years ahead before you get there.Were you ready-lots of us will be on our knees asking you to be our bride,as crazy as you are!Wait for your time girl! Mon..Congrats oh...

Hmmmm.....Pity no Home based players on the team.I have actually given up on Nigeria soccer especailly at the Senior level.I hope the team surprises us by WINNING the cup.Nothing else will suffice or redeem the Super Eagles for me! I cant forgive them for not qualifying for the world cup. But from all indications-NOTHING seems to have changed in the preparation. Do we really need an NFA?!

In answer to the obvious question,nothing wrong in having a relationship with an older person.In your case,the age difference is not much!
But does it not bother you that she is engaged to be married to someone else,who has been sponsoring her?! I think that should be the consideration here. What is the reaction of her fiance, to your relationship,and what future do you offer her?
Abeg,leave her alone,to aviod problems in the future-unless you can provide for her if abandoned by her fiance. If you really don't love her like you say,then the earlier you let her know, the better.This is so she doesn't make unneccasary sacrifices for you,only to be abandoned later. She herself needs talking to! Good luck to both of you.

Hmmm...There is no simple answer really to this question.I guess it depends on the guy's (and other)circumstances. As guys we know some of the tricks that are plaed on young innocent girls(spiked drinks,sleeping pills,fake contraceptives).Some are even told marraige will only happen,if they get pregnant.People have sex,girls get pregnant. Not all ladie may be as lucky or wise a some of our nairaland gals appear. The number of abortions(legal and illegal)taking place daily-shows just what most people would do if a gal got pregnant for them. In my early years medical practice I saw a lot,and heard a lot of incredible stories(and I have practised in both rural and urban areas). the story na the same. I dont wont to elaborate further. My advice to all is informative/educative sex education to all females from early age!

Hi,interesting topic indeed. I guess it all depends on the relationship between husband and wife,and the circumstances of the labour.BUt if the guy knows he cannot withstand the sight of blood,ABEG keep off.We dont want a guy fainting while the wife is pushing!
I was there when my wife had a too early labour(24weeks)-the baby did not make it,I was there to make sure my wife was going to make it! Am glad I was there. The next time,I was there too,but,I had to go attend to a patient(yes am a doctor too),and by the time I got back,the baby was out,I was glad to have been there with her,no matter how short the duration.
If one can be there,I believe one should,that way,you will appreciate your wife better,your love for each will be stronger,and your attachment to the baby will be great!
I have known guys who are out drinking with their friends or with other ladies while there wives were in labour-without adequate financial,material and emotional support-such should hang!

This is arrant nonsence and an insult to the intelligence of all Nigerians both home and abroad. Those who steal our money,may escape from legal judgement, BUT will get their just punishment even in this life!! God dey na poor man prayer.

Hi,I understand quite well the situation you are painting.Family head of an extended family,is a big responsibility.Your "foreign wife" will never be welcomed(and neither will any wife anyway?!),especially if you also happen to be very rich. Traditionally,one can as well ask the family to choose a wife(needless to say,that will be a real battle!).However,if the family is well exposed,love the first son etc,he can get away with quite a lot. My father is first son,and he knew he was  heir apparent.His first wife was from our home town,but he was refused church wedding,because as first son,he would need more wives-he ended up with 6wives,3 from our home,and 3 from outside! When his father died,he was made head of the family,with some ceremony he probably never expected-That was the beginning of his ruin-Till today,all the wealth and property he aquired is in complete ruins.All his wives are gone,except two,who don't live with him anyway!He has run from the village and abandoned family head!!His next step brother who tried to take over,lost his mother,wife,and daughter in quick succession. He too has abandoned the headship,and is hiding in the church.
Well,the situation may be different for you!May God help you make a wise decision.ME-I told them to take all their wealth and property and shove it.God will grant me my own wealth.GOODLUCK.You want more insight,then PM me.

hahahahaha-lots of comments about this lady and her music.All is ,mostly sentimental. Whatever we say,she is certainly going to laugh all the way to the bank.HAHAHAHA EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT PEOPLE. Compared to all the junk music pouring out from so called music stars  these days,I still believe there is something catchy about the music,and the concept/words are relevant in today's world!Booooooooo.......

I'll tell you to hang in there tough lady!Your day is as good as you make it.
wwyd if you best friend committed suicide?