₦airaland Forum

akinjojo1234:
Hmmmmmmmm your case is a tough one but you need to be very careful. Jilted women can be very deadly, trust me I know what I am saying.

Pretend as if you have gotten a change of heart, call her and apologise for the things you said. Go back to your house and act all lovey dovey to her. During this time start getting your important documents like passport, certificates out of the house to a safe place, you can forget about the electronics because you can always buy those back once you have your life. Once you have gotten all your important stuff away from the house - take off to a safe location even if it means going to rent another house. Let her eat the apartment. Your life is more important.

From a concerned brother

correct

okey4reel:
I am experiencing such at the moment now, as soon as I told her that I can't get married to her cos of all the things I discovered which are similar to it's all hell went loose, she started insulting me and my family, presently she has refused to leave my house and I am forced to go n stay with a friend till after the Lockdown

if you have not married her run for your life.am in it now thinking of how to quit.

Michelle55:
I keep saying it.. Any marriage built on lies and deceit is as good as been dead..
There was never a marriage in the first place talk more of divorce.
Always come clean during courtship as to let your partner know what they are really getting themselves into, if they are cool with your past and flaws, then every other thing is settled.
Op, if you are buoyant enough, get a place for her and your son then co parent.. Its not by force to stay married if you both are unhappy with the union.

Ladies, please keep it real to avoid stories like this.. Always remember that there's a man for every woman and same goes for men too.
There's really no need for the unnecessary drama of trying to keep up with the latest fashion and makeup accessories.

At the end of it all, your happiness and peace of mind is what really matters.. No let marriage wahala send you to an early grave

am very sure you are not married, hence this comments

Lordsonn:
Thanks. It is really affecting me. I am a lecturer in a private university, I lectured online yesterday via zoom, all the students and management discovered that something is wrong with me somewhere. I performed far below the way I used to lecture because i was really worried and depressed. I have another lecture by 4 pm today, I will try to look happy. They don't know what i'm passing through... i'm a young man of 33 years. the woman is even older than me, after i discovered her real age

Am equally planning to return my wife for same reasons.two years after wedding i discover that she is older than me with four years.she lied about her age only for me to discover at her immediate elder sister's burial.brother it's very difficult to forgive and let go. No child till now to make it worse, i will only deceive her that we need to go for visit, that is where i will let the � cat out of the bag

James4bright:
What's so fake about the story? 70% of Nigerian women don't act differently from Op's wife.

They are manipulative and would do anything to get under a successful man.

pls add my wife to the list of women.my wife lied about her age and after wedding i discover she had fibroids. Fear women

teresafaith:
I'll advice you to be careful, once a woman sense your desperation for a child, she might pin a bastard on you. I'm not saying you should forgive your wife I'm just advising you to shine your eyes and so as not fall from fry pan to fire

thanks

Resurgent2016:
Put the welfare of your marriage first and you'll find fulfilment in it. Put your wanting children first, and you'll likely have your fingers burnt in the long run (African or non-africa).

My experience here is truly limited, but I can still draw on it and that of others I have seen and on the scriptures to advise you to please not break your home because you're losing patience with becoming a father.

There are a lot of fathers today who are living very miserably. It matters the value you hold and the route you take to achieving it. Your wife has failed greatly in her action but what you need to do is take charge, build the happiness in your home and diligently seek what you want.

It's difficult situation you're facing here, but great husbands and possibly fathers are formed when men stand tall in the face of challenges they face in marriage and take charge of their ship.

I pray for you to be on the same part with me when you get married, thanks

sassysure:
Not only your husband.
One of my cousins is in this shit.
Husband was married before with 4 kids. Had problem with wife or whatever. Guy has baby face.
His family successfully hid this until their dad died.
By then, it was too late. Aside me, nobody in my family is aware. And at a point, she was hysterical I will tell our family.
Add salt to injury, the man brought two of the kids to live with her. This lady at a young age already has very serious high blood pressure. Regretted getting married. But as for me, she made a mistake by not opening up. We will not waste time by paying her dowry back and she will get another husband in no time. Her cross now.
That man was like 18yrs her senior.

my friend it's not just easy at all, that what am saying.if she has not lied about her age by now I wouldn't have been in this marriage of childlessness. as I speak,am seriously looking for another woman that can get me children. Because I can't adopt, God forbid. The major reason I married her is not just for companionship and happiness but to also have children with her. if she had given me children I will not even complain about the age.

Resurgent2016:
Marriage is primarily for companion, having a good child is something only God can grant. Even ivf isn't guaranteed success.

Granted, your wife erred by lying, but I think you need to rethink your orientation that your marriage is only worth it of there's a child.

Build a good and loving home first, the happiness in marriage will find you.

so you think an African man get married just to get happiness without any biological children, ask your ancestors

SweetCunt97:
Hence the need to hide it. Sir you guys can try ivf.

who will fund that, because it's not part of the bargain from the onset.

bukatyne:
Apart from a divorce, what else works for you?

What is your wife saying?

silent for now and am just thinking of any way out

dahgifted:
Biko i dey H like seriously, drinking garri for 3 consecutive days!
i wan chop food weh pepper dey abeg.
Abeg help a brother oh

3145518146 first bank



And please is blurry vision also a symptoms of covid19?
i dey fear oh!

the garri wey you dey drink make your eyes dey blurred

SweetCunt97:
So she's childless because she's 4 years older than you? Since the 2014 no pregnancy at all? Miscarriage?

I

TheArchangel:
I have to be practical. Marriage is not a do or die affair.
Since you want to leave on the bases of infertility not majorly because of the deception you experienced and also going by your hesitation. I'd say both of you should agree to find someone else to test your fertility with, whomever comes back with pregnancy wins the jackpot. The other partner should either leave or stay as age is not on either side. Mind you, the other partner m
This agreement must be mutual or one of you might turn up lifeless, unexpectedly in a bush or canal somewhere. Cos if you are talking about deception, this is the ultimate deception.

NB:

Be sure, you have got the best swimmers. With your 68% count, how many are mobile enough to fertilize? Not after blowing hot to your wife regarding her age and sh!ts, you'll realize that you have been shooting blanks all along. You will just off your switch by yourself.

i did this test when I was very Sick with typhoid fever. yet see the percentage even though I was Sick.

Esthered:
Dear OP, sorry about your predicament. Are you saying that only a biological child will give you fulfilment in your overall journey of life? Are you saying that you can never adopt out of benevolence? Is your wife's offense unforgivable? Are you saying your siblings are fulfilled with children and nothing more to give them fulfillment? Are you saying you've never lied that it imparted someone negatively? Are you saying the new woman will not lie to you for any reason? You haven't told us your effort in getting children beyond testing for your eligibility. All the best but if she's a good person, you can help her in different ways and yourself too as someone mentioned that you confirm the motility of your swimmers. All the best sir.

thanks

Saintmary:
I hope you do what's best for you considering how the matter get as e be.
As for me, I'm female and I'm shining my eyes gaan. Too many bad people around.
I still pray for the best though. Good luck man.

thanks, it's real men and women need to get to the foundation of both families and make sure the woman get pregnant to be on the safer side.my younger brothers that got their wives prego before wedding are smiling today. Many hide inside our churches today to cover their evil deeds. Don't trust anyone even if your pastor tells you to, because he won't be there to help you out. Pastor may only knows the outward appearance of the brother or sister, they will only encourage you to be praying till when?

Saintmary:
This is a very sad situation. I wouldn't ask my brother to remain in a marriage based on such a wicked lie.

every day is not pleasant in this marriage of childlessness. I will strongly advise anyone preparing for wedding to make sure the woman get pregnant for you, confirm.if possible let her put to bed first before you Wed her. the evils in this present generation is just too much. It's for the good of both parties. pardon my spelling

Sinzuko135:
OK I will..

Man you should even be happy your wife wants four kids and you are complaining.Am married for four years now nothing still praying and you're here complaining. Had it been I have such wife i will be in paradise on earth.Man up and corporate with her , God will take care of the children. you re not living by your power. Don't even listen to those telling you to stop at 2, because you don't know the future only God.most of the persons advising you, check properly they are not married.they are still under their parents!

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
You don't need to upload any result. Remember, this is a public forum. Be very careful, this world is filled with evil people.

Back to your question.
Are you filing for divorce because she deceived you or due to her inability to conceive?

If it is based on deception, my man take it easy. Think through very carefully. Has she been a thorn in your flesh ever since you married her or you are just plain angry because she falsified her age.
If it is based on her inability to conceive, then her age is very important here, she could be approaching menopause. Have you considered ivf.

Remember, in the end you are in the best position to make this very important decision.

she is 45 as I speak,if she lied and she's still around 30 _ 32 it will be a different case entirely.you talk of IVF from which pulse will her family provide the funds?. Because she even have to lied in the first place,if she has even given me children, i not even complain about the age.

merahki:
Any marriage based on an untruth can be nullified by the offended partner, where he cannot deal with the deception. I can’t tell another person how or how not to hurt.
IMO.
A man lied to his wife about his educational and professional achievements. This was one of the main boxes ticked in his favour on her list. She respected his achievements a lot. After many years she found out it was all a lie and promptly left him. I did/do not judge that decision at all. She knew where and how much that hurt her.

I have had many women in my clinics telling me their real ages and asking me not to tell their husbands. Usually in subfertility cases. Sosayiti and its demands and the weak, desperate women it creates. Tragic vicious cycle.

thank you my friend.i actually went out this evening to look for any good or reasonable lady who can give me what I want in life I can't adopt, only a biological child/children will make me fulfilled in life nothing more.i may have to return her to her family then get a lawyer for divorce.

Pharaoh350s:
First you need to talk things out with her
A nice family planning is needed
Instead of getting a child out of wedlock, just adopt a child with her

My advice to married men is "when ever you started hearing, the wife is controlling him, just know you are doing great with your wife"

will you please advise your brother to adopt not me.marriage that was founded on lies.if my manhood is not working from the day I got married to her will her family still advice her to remain in the marriage? side her because she a woman like you.I didn't marry her to adopt a child for your information, thanks

babythug:
As weighty as her being untruthful about her age is I’m not sure it should overshadow or becloud her good parts or the good times you may have shared and enjoyed in the marriage.

With child bearing to a large extent it’s barely in the hands of the individuals as many people with barely any pre marital sexual activity and good health reports sometimes find them selves without children. It’s completely by divine orchestration people have biological children. Why not prayerfully explore other options - surrogacy or adoption inclusive. It’s unfair to abandon her because of something which she truly has no control over.

If there are other challenges in the marriage itemise them to yourself and be sure that truly you can no longer be in the union and you do not have any love for her anymore! But I assure you there’s no 100% in any marriage . We all have our shortcomings but keep striving to make the best of our situations .

thanks

skedman:
You are very funny .

Were are the vows and love you made on your wedding day

How can you marry someone without knowing are true date of birth .

There are many ways you can use to get it
WAEC certificate,birth certificate when she finished from school,etc.

I guess you married her because the sex was sweet but right now it is no longer interesting because your eyes are opened right now.
Legally she is entitled to half of your properties .

She must also give her consent for the divorce process to go on unless no divorce.

The best advise go and impregnate another lady outside to confirm whether the problem is even from you.

just my thoughts, thanks

Professorcplus:
Fake story!!!

not every story is fake,i will upload my last test results either today or tomorrow afternoon.thanks

I got married in 2014, only for me to discover that my wife is four years older than l ( she lied) it's was when I went for her elder burial i could not believe what I saw

sn019051:
To choose a career path, you can be a Business consultant since you studied business education. You can contact the Institute of Business Advisers further advice or visit their website :www. Ibanigeria.org

without practical skills?

Arisheloaded:
I'm a fresh graduate, I majored in Business Education (Accounting Option) in one of Nigeria's foremost University. I am someone who believes in making a difference and not just earning a pay.

I'm quite started with the way employers view my course as though it is irrelevant to the workplace. Hence, I think I need a defined career for myself.

Also, taking Accounting as a career is a no-no for now because I didn't study pure Accounting and going for ICAN isn't possible now due to paucity of funds (though, planning to further when I get a job).

Thanks in anticipation of your response.

Cc: Lalasticlala, Jarus etc

go and learn a trade

KingAzubuike:
Don't do it for the money , do it for the passion. Even if you're earning 10k monthly, be satisfied with it.

can you marry him with such job?

winningwinner:
But are you married?

divorce this woman, your life is not safe

And 70% of ladies out there are sugar girls, and nobody wants to be second wife. Definitely not all ladies will get married,at age 30+they will get to the front row of all churches waiting for miracles

Angy55:
Check your a/c. I know it's very little but manage it. God will see us through.

God's blessings be on you

mofeoluwadassah:
you that impregnated the two of them should be ready to marry the two of them now abi what’s all these now

are you one of them?