₦airaland Forum

i like them. good job

Munabra, go to "Home"(at the top left corner of your screen), click on the section (e.g Family, Tech, Sexuality etc) that best suits your topic, and then you can post it there (there should be a"Post topic" or 'new topic" button to click on).

Let me know if you have anymore trouble with it

I cant get over infidelity and abuse. I dont have a spouse, but if I did, I would never be able to get over infidelity and abuse. I think that it takes alot to abuse a person. You dont ever abuse a person you love/respect. There is this sort of respect (i find it difficult to explain but its very similar to what you have for a parent; you love them so much, you become almost fearful of the person) that you have for a partner that prevents you from harming them even when you have the opportunity to, and when they have done you wrong.

So, to me, everything is forgivable. I would always forgive because to forgive, is to release yourself from the burden that the pain holds. But I cant get over it. The relationship would have to be over.

I love that show!

is there one you prefer over the other? Its hard to tell which is best; all depends on your interest, does it not?

It is well.

Hard for me to accept your apology when I feel like it wasnt necessary
I feel like I offended you with my question but, I couldnt understand why my gender mattered (and you're obviously not interested in telling me why).
Too bad you're out but, come back when you're willing to respond to the questions in the thread, will ya?


Am waiting for your reasonable responses, people!!!

Aquafresh

Odunnu:
Whats your gendr?

Why do you ask?

Has anyone ever had to do this?
What was your reason(s)?
I ask because I'm at a verge of breaking up my friendship with a person I've had as one of my closest friends for 10 years (off and on). We were best friends in highschool, lost contact after highschool and reconnected about 5 years ago.
On the 30th of last month (lol 2 days ago), I decided to severe some relationships that may not be very useful to me.
This friend of mine, and I, only have our nightlives in common. But I realize that I tend to gravitate towards this friend whenever I need to get away from my busy, more-serious life (school, work etc).
I am a strong believer in institutional education. I understand that you cannot learn anything fro school and I know that some would argue, that all you get from school is some paper that doesnt mean anything in the real life. What I say, is that institutional education teaches you how to think, and challenges you to go even further, by provoking yourself to know. Institutional education in my opinion, not only teaches you ways of knowing, but makes you question why you think you know the things you know.

At 28 years old, this friend of mine, is yet to finish highschool. But I love her, almost to death. Which is why everytime she makes unintelligent comments, it saddens me. Everytime she lies to potential partners that she is a student or a professional of some sort, it saddens me. Everytime I see her accept things from men, that I know she would not if she had enough pride in herself, it disheartens me. I have talked to her numerous times, almost on a daily basis, about returning to school. She claims she will, but intends to save money first. In the country I live in, you do not need to save money before you attend post secondary education (that is what loans are for). Her mother works in a restaurant as a waitress. My honorable friend, has just gotten a job alongside her mother at thesame restaurant. She intends to save money, but is working minimum wage.

We have a big group of friends, but I am the closest to her. As it stands now, I am most likely, her closest friend. I do not want to leave her, however, it makes me sad to see her waste a lifetime in this country when people in Africa would die to switch places with her. I feel like she is sitting on a gem.
Our group of friends only gets involved with her whenever we go out to parties and such. To be honest, there isnt much else to do with her. One of us has totally stopped contacting her. He claimed that he isnt able to stand her anymore.
Truth is, I love her. We do go wayyy back, so it is difficult for me to let her be. But its also difficult to see her waste herself and grow apart from me like she is doing.

As we get older, I find that she loses her opinionated self. She says things to me, that I want to hear and she ends up sounding like she is sucking up to me.

Another fear of mine is that she praises me. I love this, but because I know that she is praising me, I tend to aspire for less around her. She does not care if I do well in school or not. To her, the fact that I am in school, is enough.
Last night, we were talking about new year resolutions. I told her that among other things, mine was to let go of redundant friendships that are not useful for me, to which she immediately said "yeah, like me" and laughed. I laughed, in utter sadness

When I have conversations with her, I realize that she sounds like the teenager/ preteen I met years ago when we first met. Coincidentally, when I lost contact with her inhghschool, that is when she quit school.

P.S

She intends to get married and she desperately wants to get married very soon. This woman is no doubt, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Its such a sad situation because this gets her alot of attention from men, but once they realize that she isnt able to maintain an intelligent conversation, most of them tend to flee, leaving her the ones who do not care for her much and are verbally and emotionally abusive.
Last night, I was with her for the new years and one of these men who introduced her to his friends as his "mistress", (he has a girlfriend and she knows, likewse, she is sexing other people, and he knows) was so rude to me that I left them in anger. She has been calling and texting me since and I'm at a point where I want to say that it is over.

Do I just let it be? Not say that it is over; instead, just quit accepting her calls?
Has anyone else been through this?
What motivated your decision and how exactly, did you deal with it?


Am sorry for the long read but it was necessary, to give you all a detailed background info on the situation

Oh wow. You HACKED into her facebook account to question men on her friends list if they'd slept with her?!

HOW DARE YOU!?!

You are lucky all you got was the breakup. A lawsuit should follow. And although I hate to advocate for violence, a backside whoop should come thereafter.

What nonesense some ladies put up with.

Please, aint nobody forcing you. If you dont like her because her vag*na is supposedly too loose, leave her in peace. GO and find someone with a tighter vag.

Ohhh why did I come on this thread on the first day of the year, now am all angry

It is well

Ziggy_mama:

                 i
                 i
                \/

coooooool!

happy new year to you too

lol@ Epi

Happy new year, NLs!


May it be well with us all. And everyone that is found, keep on their paths, may everyone that is lost, find their way.

I am waiting. What is the #1 strategy?

And do you provide strategies for females too?

Vacora:
Legendary producer and originator of “New Jack Swing”, Teddy Riley was part of the male RnB groups Guy and Blackstreet. Teddy Riley has issued an official statement in an attempt to set the record straight about the alleged beating of his 18 year old daughter.
Riley’s adult daughter obtained a restraining order against him, claiming the singer beat her and her sister and threatened to hurt them with a guitar from the video game Rock Band earlier last month and the three even proceeded to go at it online via Twitter.

Here's the statement in its entirety:
Due to recent events, I am compelled to respond in detail to accusations made against me, by my daughters.
I love my Daughters, but I will not allow my children to disrespect me in my home. Contrary to what I have been accused of, I would never beat my children.
Perhaps, I should have been a stronger disciplinarian as they were growing up. I worked very hard so that my children would want for nothing.
In hindsight, I see that it was a mistake to give them everything they wanted so that they could have the childhood I never had. Unfortunately, they have taken me, and the privileged life I have given them, completely for granted.
Instead of being appreciative and realizing how fortunate they are, my children have an inflated sense of entitlement and expectation without having to work or earn their way.

However, my 'children' are no longer children, they are adults and I am trying to instill in them values and a work ethic of their own. My mother always told me "too many grown people can't live in one house" so I encourage them to have their own homes if they cannot abide by the rules of mine. I am not an uptight Dad, I am as hip as they come but I will not tolerate being taken advantage of or disrespected, especially in my home.
I've been working since the age of 14, I bought my first car by myself. Nobody gave me a car. My kids don't even remember their first car. I grew up with 6 of us in an apartment fighting over one bathroom. My kids have never had to share a bathroom, let alone a bedroom.

I'm asking everyone to let this one go,  I'm only being a good parent. I'm a great father and everyone who knows me, knows this is true.

Thank you so much,

With all my love,
Teddy Riley



http://globalgrind.com/channel/culture/content/1258056/Teddy-Riley-Issues-Statement-Re-Alleged-Beating-of-18yo-Daughter/

Let this be a lesson to all parents everywhere.

ThisThreadIsSilly

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
pls call me silly but what on earth does body size/structure has to do with a person's personality??!!!!!!

I'm waiting for poster's response to that question

And BTW Poster, what happens when you get with a "PHAT babe" and then, she loses weight? She becomes unforgiving, venomous, nags due to the weightloss? Will you then leave her? Um, okay so I guess body fat tissue cells are filled with humility, forgiving, and passive characters?

Sometimes we extrapolate things way beyond reasonable measures. You may have met smaller females who are "venomous" and such but depending on the part of the world you live in, my suggestion is;

-slim females may have more confidence and so, are more likely to assert themselves (e.g telling you to "f" off instead of putting up with you) than bigger females who may be less confident and are more likely to be passive.
-keep in mind that this would not make the bigger females you meet nicer, it just makes them less confident so much so that they are more accepting of rubbish they should not be
-my hypothesis then, is that your these stats that you mentioned up there, are probably greatly influenced not by the women's weights but by your approach or the sort of women you approach.

I pray for your sake though, that the big females you meet, are the confident ones. I do know however, that in my part of the world, big confident females are few and far between.

Goodluck anyway, we're all entitled to have our preferences.

you got my vote, thats for sure lol

totorimi:
My number one new year resolution is to get married on or before the end of February any how it must be done its a promise that must be keptBut the sorry part of it is that i have paid for a venueand i have made part payment to the caterer but no woman in sight so i have decided that the first girl that gets pregnant for me is the one so all energy is geared towards making Febraury a reality. NL guys and babes pray for me. I MUST HAVE A BABY NEXT YEAR WHETHER DEY LIKE IT OR NOT. 2010 I must be a daddy enough is now enough of rubbish life. That is my main focus now no going back and no surrender

Um i didnt see an "lol" at the end of your post. I think you forgot to add one, right?






Right?!

Um, where are you located? Lets give the females in your area a heads up

Richiez:
It's okay dayo, i and other n'landers are no longer doubting you. I didn't mean to go this far, but could not stand it when u were tarnishing my reputation and still using unpleasant words on someone this thread. I know u came here to help, but remember two heads are better than one. We can work together to make uniabuja the best in terms of dishing out qualitative info. Rendering selfless help is what we are here for, & that what we shud b focused, and happy doing. I Just want all grudges to go with the previous year. This is a new year, you should learn to be gregarious. Peace

I admire you for this post

This thread is silly. Almost as silly as the one it intends to mock

~Bluetooth:
Another year is coming and i pray we all witness it.In the outgoing year,we all make resolutions but did everyone of them come to pass.Let's not worry about the past but we should think about the future.Here's is my resolution for 2010:
-I want more blessings,good health and long life for myself and loved ones.
-I want to go to mecca for my hajj
-I mus tbuild my own personal house.
-I will get married and hope to invite all nairalanders.
May God see us through 2009 and many more years to come.Happy new year in advance!

Congratulations, in advance I'll be awaiting my invitation card in the maili

I have 5:

Keep a constant reminder to "always start with the end in mind"
Cut out all the fat from my beefy life (fat= friends that do not have common goals as me, extracurricular activities that may prevent me from achieving my goals)
Increase my GPA to 3.93
Work more
Dance!

meggieblac:
i actually saw sum1 wit the disease & tot it was sum kinda burn.

I dont blame you afterall, that is what it looks like. Thats why its good to spread the news so we all know and understand

adagz 01:
i just thought girls/ladies/women are not strong enough 2 consume much alcohol as men do

It is well

They dont all smell good. Neither do they all smell bad. Assuming that they all smell bad because they're Nigerians would insinuate then that they have some unhygienic cultural beliefs like lol say; bathing in cow dung early in the morning.

Would that make sense?

Would it make any more/less sense if this post said "Why do most Nigerian femlaes have bad body odour?"
hmm, something tells me there's already been a post like that in very recent history

SEFAGO:
This is a serious matter. Infact I feel this is a conspiracy by the american government to show nigerian men have small . They staged this to shame us in front of the international community. resist 3-d scan dont let ypur 3-inches be an airport statistic.

lol this is funny

OAM4J:
1st the subject of your thread should have been 'I dont know how to let go'
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERY ONE.

How true.

@ Poster

", above it all, to thine own self, be true."