₦airaland Forum

My temper is like 5 degrees now. Only Tpia can elevate it to 90 degrees.

I won’t mind getting married to a short and ugly man----Oby Edozie


https://news.onlinenigeria.com/articlefiles/11671-oby.jpg
Oby Edozie




Nollywood actress, Oby Edozie, was recently rumoured to have instigated the arrest and subsequent detention of her mother by the police, after a minor disagreement. But in this interview with ’NONYE BEN-NWANKWO, she describes the story as false and talks about her love life.

You have not been around for some time now. Where have you been?

Oh yes. I went to shoot my movies in London. I flew some actors from Nigeria to the city for the purpose. I have been very busy ever since. People have requested interviews from me, but I refused because I felt there was really nothing new to know about me. They will have to wait till I release the new movies that will surely blow peoples‘ minds.

Tell us about the movies.

It is a big movie. It has to do with cancer. They are actually two movies, but I don‘t want to talk about the other one now. I am back home now and I will start the production of the second movie by next week or the following week. I will go to India to shoot the movie because the story line requires it. I am thinking ahead. I am thinking something positive.

Is the project the reason why nobody sees you around these days?

I have not really stayed in Nigeria for a long time, this year. Even before this project came up, I had spent most of the time travelling outside the country.

Have you heard that Tricia, who used to be your best friend, is getting married?

I heard the story when I came back and I thanked God for her. I wish her well.

Were you jealous?

Jealous of what? Tricia is older than me. Why should I be jealous of her? Even if we were born on the same day, I still don‘t have any reason to be jealous. Age is not an issue, really. Some friends of mine that are younger than me by fve years are all married. One of them got married in Abuja recently. I am older than her, but I didn‘t feel bad about it. I actually flew from Lagos to Abuja to attend her wedding. You don‘t have to get jealous when something good is happening to somebody else or that thing won‘t get to you.

Some people are saying that you have not been happy since you learnt of Tricia‘s wedding.

How do those people manage to know the way I feel? I am thinking of how to move forward in life. I am thinking of how to produce my movies and somebody is out there saying that I am not happy because someone else got married. I have somebody in my life, too. I don‘t have to blow it up or tell everybody that I have a boyfriend. It is my personal life. But then, am I so bad looking that men should not admire me? Do I look so terrible that I have to go everywhere to look for a husband? Marriage is not something you want to rush into today and rush out tomorrow. It is really uncalled for to say that I am sad because somebody else found happiness.

But they say you have been going from one church to the other praying hard to find a husband.

Since I returned from London, I have not attended a single church service, let alone jump from one church to the other. The story doesn‘t make sense.

A magazine report said you got your mother locked up in a police cell over a small matter.

When and where and how that happen? Anyway, I have spoken to a lawyer who has written a letter to the magazine. We will see in court and the person who wrote the story will tell the world the name of the police station where I locked my mother up. Some things are written about you in the papers and you take a chill pill. But I am all out for this particular story. I cannot leave it like that. What can your mother do to you in this world that you will have the mind to take her to the police and even lock her up? Your mother? This is very delicate. It is very annoying.

Where do you suspect the story originated from?

I think that story was sponsored by somebody to tarnish my image. I don‘t think the writer sat down and crafted that article.

Also they said the elders in your village placed a curse on you.

How can elders curse me? The elders that were praying for me? I travelled with my car for my father‘s memorial and all the elders were praying for me. They blessed the car and they blessed me. I have an award from my village. If you look at this, you will find that it doesn‘t make sense. It was cooked up to bring me down. They obviously knew I have something big coming up and they just decided to bring me down with the story. I don‘t have an idea who is behind the story. I can‘t place anybody, but only God knows and He will fight for me.

Are you really desperate to get married?

Do I look desperate? If I am desperate, I swear to God, I will take a guy to court tomorrow and get married to him. I can do that. But it has not got to that point. I am waiting for the marriage that will never break. I will have my kids and nothing will break the marriage. I will grow old with my husband.

We learnt that Festus Keyamo did not marry you because he was scared of your character.

I don‘t know why you are mentioning Festus Keyamo. Festus is my lawyer and I am his client. If I were a terrible person, my lawyer would not be the one in charge of this case. I don‘t have a personal relationship with Festus Keyamo. I am just his client and that is what we have together. If I am that terrible, he would have asked me to find another lawyer. I don‘t know where the story is coming from.

Is it true that your suitors abandoned you because they could not cope with your character?

Who are the guys? These are forged stories. They lack evidence and detail. Mention the name of the guys and what they do, at least. This is pure concoction. The idea is simply to write something bad about in order to bring me down. They want people to see me as somebody who is irresponsible. The Devil will put them to shame.

So are you getting married soon?

I cannot get married like that. In your own case, did you just get married like that? I am sure you are married. I know you didn‘t get married because of what people are saying. I am going to get married for myself. When I am ready, I will get married. I am not looking out to marry a very rich man. I might surprise everybody with one short man who is very ugly. All I am looking for is happiness. I am looking for a man who will cherish me and love me. I am not looking for a man‘s money. I am not looking for a man who is so handsome. I am going to get married for myself. When I am ready, I will get married. There are actresses who are older than me in this industry and they are not married. Is anybody killing them? Why is my own case different? What is this marriage thing about Oby Edozie? Look at me. Look at my height. Let me not blow my trumpet, but I am beautiful. I am okay. I am not so ugly to feel that I won‘t find a husband. I don‘t have any bad character. Even the ugly ones still get married to very handsome men. I am not desperate. I am very soft and emotional. I know who I am. I may look intimidating, but I am a very soft person. We are in an industry where people laugh with you, yet they say terrible things behind you. I am not looking at anybody‘s achievement. I am concerned about my own achievement and growth. I want to make progress. I am begging these enemies of progress to let me be. Let them leave me alone for a little while.

Are you involved in any relationship?

Of course, I am in a wonderful relationship.

Will it lead to marriage?

By the grace of God.

Has your man heard the story?

Of course, everybody has heard of it. It is really terrible. But the good thing is that people who are c,lose to me know what I can do. My uncles have been calling me on the phone. The writer of the story did not call me to confirm before publishing it. If you read that story, there was no place they mentioned that they called me to get my own reaction. You will know that the author of the story simply set out to humiliate me and to damage my image. Although I have people that can take up this issue on their own, I have decided to follow it up legally.

Don‘t you think you should just move on and forget this issue?

How can I forget it? Is it today that they have been writing lies about me? There are some things you see and you over look. The other day, I saw an interview on the Internet and they were quoting me, asking questions and putting their own answers in the interview. But I know I never granted anyone that interview. However, I overlooked it. But this case is so delicate. It is deeper than you think. This is an outright lie. It might damage me in future if I don‘t set the records straight now.

Are you saying that you have never been involved in a scandal before now?

Scandal? No. I will say I am a very blunt person. I say it as it is. That is why they say I am controversial. I am myself. Oby edozie doesn‘t have scandals. There is nothing like that. The only thing about Oby Edozie that went on and on was when somebody said I dated her ex boyfriend some years ago. It wasn‘t supposed to be scandalous. It wasn‘t supposed to be a story, but they made headlines out of it. It became the talk of the town. Which other scandal have you heard about me? What else is there? What else have I done? They just want to add this one to that story and say I am a bad person. But God will fight for me.

http://news.onlinenigeria.com/templates/?a=11671&z=12

Drama as Emeka Ike emerges as new AGN president
Posted To The Web: Sunday, December 13, 2009 - Nigeriafilms



[img]http://news.onlinenigeria.com/templates/?a=11670&z=31[/img]
Emeka Ike



A mild drama ensued on Monday at the secretariat of the Actors Guild of Nigeria, AGN, in Surulere area of Lagos, when embattled Segun Arinze’s attempt to halt the care-taker-committee of the guild from conducting a counter-election that produced actor Emeka Ike as the new president of the guild hit a brick wall.

Arinze last month was appointed to head the alleged government of national unity set up by the Ifeanyi Dike- led Board of Trustees of the guild, with Emeka Ike as his vice as a way of moving the troubled guild forward.

He allegedly stormed the guild’s secretariat with a team of policemen from Area D, Mushin, with an intention of stopping the election. However, he failed as the Kanayo O. Kanayo led- interim government, armed with a court order, refused to be intimidated as they went ahead to conduct the election.

In a court order dated 13th of June, 2009, and which was shown to the policemen that came with Arinze, the caretaker committee exercised the power confined on it to conduct a general election for the guild.

It would be recalled however that Mr. Arinze recently emerged president of the guild in a controversial election conducted by the erstwhile president of the guild, Ejike Asiegbu in Port-Harcourt, Rivers State capital.

He was disowned by the Lagos State chapter of the body, which described his election as a “sham”, labelling him a non-registered member of the chapter. Ike’s election is bound to trigger off another round of crisis within the guild.

Before the election, which was endorsed by all state chairmen and delegates of the guild, Emeka Ike had described Segun Arinze as a ‘joker’, adding that, “Segun is not AGN president and he cannot be one. Constitutionally, he is not eligible to be a president because I learnt he is not a degree holder and not even a card carrying member.

“You can ask him to present his certificate the same way I’m ready to present mine any time. What he is doing is just a waste of time because the real election is what we have just conducted today.”

The spokesperson of the guild’s interim national government, Charles Okafor, once noted that “the priority of this interim leadership headed by Kanayo O. Kanayo has a mandate to conduct a credible election that would usher in a new president and executives of AGN, and nothing will change it.

The election will definitely hold.”

He added that with the support of AGN members in the country, all hands have been on deck to conduct a free and fair elections.

Elected alongside Ike were Mr. Femi Durojiaye, (National Secretary), Mohammed Odoko, (vice-president, North Central), Sanni Mohammed(vice-president, North east)Yusuf Bako Mohammed, (vice-president, South-South), Nkiru Sylvanus(vice-presidet, South-East) and Victor Edogun(vice-president, South-West).

Others were, Benita Nzeribe(PRO), Ngozi Onoka(D.G.S), Azi Oliver Akalugu(Finance Secretary), St. Maradona N. Johnson(Treasurer) and Amniu Abdaulla Tafia, who clinched the position of Assistant secretary.

http://news.onlinenigeria.com/templates/?a=11670&z=31

FayeZik:
BLAHHHH, BLAHHHHH, BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.    Anyway, sorry oooooo. Nna Biko,  Pele o igbo man. (ti o ba se wipe o ni oriki ni, nba ki e).
Sometimes, it's just good to get a taste of what you dish out.
On a serious note, I never knew that calling someone 'omo ibo' can make that person want to commit a crime. I can see u with a cutlass looking for me on-line.  Two wrongs do not make a right. I rest my case. Let's move on.

Eeyaaa, thunder fire you ooo Yoruba woman. Is it very difficult for you to refer to people without using their tribe?. You are very sick in the head because your latest comment suggests to me that you define people from the tribe they belong and not from who they are.  That is why you are stressing on my tribe just to define me even though you are guessing my tribe from my screen name. A very silly assumption indeed. I pity you, if your allah ignored a man who crawled round mount Ararat 10x as penance for watching common po*rn, will he ever look at your bigoted ugly ashewo face concerning your serial prostitution and tribalism?.

Your voice reeks of tribalism and I am sure tpia will love you so much. Just stay off me if you know you can't refer to me without mentioning my tribe. Ask around Nairaland, I despise tribal bigots.

SEFAGO:

That is what happens when Yoruba towns allow igbos into their town. These people end up setting quack clinics. Then they would now start claiming it is the fault of the townspeople   

Nairaland joke of the year. Very funny

Outstrip:
Are you Obi

How can I be Obi when I am questioning the timing of both relationships?. I think he was in a relationship with the two women at the same time. Obi is a rich guy and I am sure these women will not mind being 10 in his home at once.

How did Lucky Luciano make his millions in 1920's Chicago ?. Profiteering through illegal importation of apeteshi because ogogoro was banned.

ponytail:
It wasn't untrue, apparently they were set to wed as of that time but it did not work. He is supposed to have started seeing Yetunde after the split with Ngozi.

Are you Yetunde or Ngozi?

olafolarin:
I believe the story and the Police Chief's opinion.
Its even more mind-boggling in Germany,Spain,Holland and Austria.
In Landstrasse Prison in vIENNA,there are 893 nigerian inmates and the whole prison can only take 950 people.I hope i'm not be tribalist if i tell you that all the 9ja inmates in this particular prison were convicted of the same crime(drugs,drugsrelated crime)and they are all IBOS.

Germany with its high % of police officers faces the same invasion by Nigerian drug criminals too.

So If anybody carrying naija passport is harassed in any airport in the world,we shouldnt be annoyed.

Were you in the prison too or did you work there?. How did you know the tribe of all of them and how did you see their case files?

posakosa:
I can't believe this silly woman is talking about the "other woman" and any idiotic married man who goes outside his marriage looking for some pu.ssy and doesn't understand the meaning or importance of committment is a slowpoke. 

Some marriages do not demand for commitment to the woman. Cultural variance plays a role too. So, its not every marriage that requires a man to commit solely to one woman.

What if Yetunde snatched him away from Ngozi 2 yrs ago?

True; but jim iyk has more followership than him.

Are you not confirming what I said before?. It means that because Fashola denies the rift doesn't mean they don't have one. It's either the servant is disobeying his oga and following the people's mandate which I pray is the case and the oga is mad that his investment is not bringing dividends as he hoped. There is no amount of decorum that will hide the glaring truth.

That being said, Mr management & leadership expert, you are yet to answer the question in bold. How can a cobra give birth to a lizard?.

semid4lyfe:
Duh! Did u miss the bolded and italicized part?

Did you check the names of the women?. One is Yetunde while the other is Ngozi.

[quote author=Sammy107_d link=topic=363841.msg5102554#msg5102554 date=1260679540]dat nigger reeks filth![/quote]Alao Akala is not a nigger o. His skin is not black.

He also dated and nearly married Funmi Iyanda some years back.

How Aduke got her groove back
By Chude Jideonwo
December 12, 2009

"I challenge any man to come and say he has slept with me for money," this 38-year-old said to a newspaper interviewer a few years ago. A grandiose declaration for sure, ("I believe my own bull you see," she once said), but one that reflects the core of Funmi's identity: a fierce self-independence.
Whilst Funmilola Aduke Iyanda was yet a child, the TV presenter/producer's mother went out of the house one day, and she has not been found since. Unfortunately, her father battled alcoholism for some years, leaving the young Funmi to care for her younger siblings. The fifth child in a family of 11 would eventually sell clothes and odds and end at the University of Ibadan to see herself and her younger brother through the school.
"Funmi likes to say she went through her own hardships as a growing child," her friend, the playwright Wole Oguntokun, says. "Success detaches people from their origins usually, but she managed to fight that failing. That lack of desensitisation placed her in a place, very few television people could reach."
Of course, Funmi is more than just a TV personality. If she is brilliant on-air, she is an even more spectacular writer - insightful and unfailingly witty (one of her pieces for her column, Jisting, in the defunct Tempo magazine was titled ‘Dear God, I need a man'). She also co-wrote the first of Newton Jibunoh's desert memoirs.
Amongst other things, she is a sports diarist, stemming from her experiences as official chaperon for the likes of Charity Okpara and Chioma Ajunwa, pre-competition facilitator (painting her face in the national colours) for France '98, and covering international sporting events like the 1998 World Cup, the 1999 female World Cup, and the Athens and Sidney Olympics.
A star is born
But it was New Dawn that gave her flight. The show started humbly in the NTA Channel 10 studios in Tejuosho Yaba, Lagos, knocked together from the remains of a store. "Part of my love hate relationship with NTA 10," she reveals, "is a deep loyalty to the station for trusting a red haired, hot headed, quick tempered 29-year-old to independently produce their flagship show; they gave me my voice."
It began in 2000. It wasn't the first time she was doing television - having hosted and produced a number of talk, sports and entertainment shows, most while working with the man who would father her daughter, football legend Segun Odegbami - but Funmi was finally being heard.
The enunciation was far from sleek, her dresses pushed the envelope and she was given to spontaneity that TV viewers had to get used to. But she was a quick hit - and soon shows like the NTA's AM Express tried to repeat that magic. Her viewers also saw her tranform from an awkward, earnest female to a celebrated, achieving woman - with more than 50 awards in tow.
In April 2008 however, after eight years, during which her show had been upgraded to the NTA Network Service, she woke up one morning - and stopped New Dawn.
Ace comedian Ali Baba, who is a friend, says: "When she stopped her show, I just thought, that's Nigeria for you. The people who care about education don't get school licence, the real bankers couldn't raise 25billion, the good footballers don't make national teams, "
Many pointed to new TV phenomenon, Mo Abudu, whose show, Moments with Mo, seemed to have taken Funmi's place, dealing with the same issues, and talking with the same (and even bigger) personalities - only this time with a proper set, professional sound and styling, above-par camera work, superb editing, and the ultimate cross-continental platform - Mnet.
But Funmi points to her own battles, blaming "the whole of New Dawn's experience with NTA, the frankly fraudulent advert agencies and clueless media owners."
She's back
For many months after, no one knew what would become of Funmi. Then, on the 5th of January this year, she announced on her blog: "I'm back. No noise, no fanfare, just a quiet statement of fact: I am back."
Weeks after, she launched the Change a Life Foundation, crystallising her partnership of over half a decade with the Lagos State government to put about 30 children of single mothers through school, at a moving event in Lagos. But that was just the beginning.
Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said at a much-praised TED talk this year: "My friend, Funmi Iyanda, is a fearless woman, who is determined to tell the stories we forget." Which is exactly what Funmi did upon setting up a new company called Ignite Media. She travelled around five states in Nigeria for four weeks in a ten-hour daily schedule that saw her "swinging from abject despair to desperate hopefulness."
The result of those journeys is her new show unveiled to the public in October: Talk with Funmi.
Gbolahan Faleye, who began to present the arts segment on New Dawn when he was 17, and who describes her affectionately as "quite mad really" says: "I, like everyone else, was greatly saddened by the show's demise. However, I was hopeful that the closure would eventually lead to the birth of something more beautiful. Funmi's return to television vindicates this hope!"
In this new show, shot on high definition video, Funmi speaks with Nigerians from all spheres of life. She visited the Oba of Benin's palace, got footage flying over Lagos and spent a whole day with two governors, just as she joined Charly Boy and other motocyclists in full gear, went hunting at the Ita Olorun Village and danced the ‘swo' in Ajegunle. It premieres across the continent in January 2010.
"I had a month ago sat on a canoe in one of the poorest places, paddled slowly by the hauntingly intense Dami through the dankest, blackest waters I had ever seen or smelt, watching human faeces in various stages of decomposition flow by. The toilet was an exact replica of the slum dog millionaire sh*t scene without the beautiful colouring and diffusion of rough edges of that film," she says of one of the episodes.
"The power of my experiences is less about my person but about the stories, the people, the events that effortlessly weave through it," she says, in one of those touching moments of reflection that her blog readers are blessed to share. "Life does tend to happen to me, and perhaps I will one day sit down and write my story." It is sure to be one helluva story.
Funmi Iyanda's ‘Talk with Funmi' premieres in January 2010 on DSTV's Africa Magic & Magic World (Primetime), NTA/AIT and other selected stations around Nigeria, with an international cut scheduled for a major UK network.

Her butt does not look mannish o.

South Africans are the worst dressed people when it comes to fashion in Africa.

The real question remains unansered:  HOW CAN A COBRA GIVE BIRTH TO A LIZARD?. IS THAT POSSIBLE?.  It's either Fashola played Tinubu by using him to ascend the throne only to dump him after  or he has something up his sleeve. If the former is the case, then he will face a lot of opposition from the powers that be otherwise, he will not see that seat come 2011 else, the latter will be the case. Of course, Nigerians will prefer to blame their problems on tribal differences instead of approaching their issues meticulously.

Nairalanders and their fish brain. Do these Fashola apologists think that either  Fashola or Tinubu  will agree there is a rift between them in the media?. That will mean further questions and more troubles for both of them. [b]I pray they truly [/b]have a big misunderstanding because if one must eat with the devil, a long spoon is more appropriate.

[img]http://2.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SxaHQ-le-II/AAAAAAAAZR0/-lPoRN8nu0g/s400/serena-and-common-in-barbados.jpg[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SxaHH-qrZDI/AAAAAAAAZRs/k0opHj0vA5w/s400/Serena-and-Common.jpg[/img]
[img]http://4.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SxaG0Jm7rJI/AAAAAAAAZRk/6E81oPXaraA/s400/Serena-and-Commocxnbvdaifhdfv%2520knbgfodg.jpg[/img]

Rapper Common with girlfriend Tennis star, Serena Williams at a beach in Barbados,
He woulda stick to Erykah Badu, don't ya think?

Wetin concern mike as long as his millions is paid. God has blessed him so much this year, from GLO contract to Amstel malta.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2009

Jacob Zuma's £5.3m home expansion prompts outcry

Zuma's rural homestead will gain a police station, helipad, military clinic, visitors' centre, parking lot for 40 vehicles and three houses, according to South Africa's Mail & Guardian newspaper, which claimed taxpayers would foot "the largest chunk of the bill".

New houses are apparently being built to accommodate Zuma's three wives, the paper said. Critics accused the president of "conspicuous consumption in the face of dire poverty".

[img]http://3.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SyCZftsamQI/AAAAAAAAZYs/hHmZpuuWYT4/s400/jacob-zuma-001.jpg[/img]
Zuma with three of his wives

The rural family homestead is in Nkandla, in KwaZulu-Natal province, where many of Zuma's neighbours lack electricity or running water. Official figures show that more than half of KwaZulu-Natal's 10 million population live in poverty, with 1.2 million surviving on less than R200 (£16) a month. Sources told the paper that the expansion will cost an estimated R65m.

Source: Guardian UK

He just married Yetunde two weeks ago.

Obi Asika, boss of Storm Records is married. He married his longtime love, Yetunde Bakare, a lawyer with more than ten years experience, on the 27th of November 2009.

Obi Asika set to wed[May 2007]
Storm Music CEO Obi Asika is set to wed his girlfriend of many years Ngozi Oyolu, who he recently bought a Volkswagen Passat. The wedding is said to have been fixed tentatively for the second week of December. Obi is such a cool guy. All the best to him and wife to be.
http://lindaikeji..com/2007/05/naija-entertainment-gists_08.html


How many more LONG TIME girlfriends does he have out there?

Obi Asika weds Yetunde Bakare
[img]http://4.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/Sx9UFHRaQBI/AAAAAAAAZUs/6VHaiaSMwcE/s400/n531456945_1440966_679.jpg[/img]
Awww, see the love in his eyes, too cute.

Obi Asika, boss of Storm Records is married. He married his longtime love, Yetunde Bakare, a lawyer with more than ten years experience, on the 27th of November 2009. The Storm boss was said to have gathered few close friends at his Lekki, Lagos residence, invited a registrar and had a quiet ceremony.

“We just wanted a very quiet ceremony” He said “The most important people are the people involved and I have lived with my wife for over two years and we have been happy together. What just happened was a formalization and legalization of the union. I wanted her to be called my wife.”

Congrats and the very best of luck.

http://lindaikeji..com/

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2009

Mike Ezuruonye becomes Face of Amstel Malta

Good looking actor and Glo Ambassador, Mike Ezuruonye, has just become the face of Amstel Malta and for this, he got paid in millions. His contract will run for one year.

[img]http://2.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SyCm4GrzNOI/AAAAAAAAZY8/nyN-nLirdUM/s320/mike-1.jpg[/img]

Mike Ezuruonye

http://lindaikeji..com/2009/12/mike-ezuruonye-becomes-face-of-amstel.html

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2009

[size=16pt]Are you the other woman?
[/size]
- By Ekene Onu

[img]http://3.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/SyOngY3AYRI/AAAAAAAAZZ8/n8sxJeb4pWE/s320/n702703219_310975_1279.jpg[/img]




Before you all jump to shout loudly no, let’s be real, many of us are choosing this path, or at least find ourselves on it and at that moment are faced with whether to jump right off or continue along. Quite recently some notable women have admitted to being the other woman. Barbara Walters did, Oprah did and I know some of you did and are.

A while ago, a young woman sat in my living room and proceeded to tell me why she thought wives were the stupidest women. She said and I quote "Majority of the men I know don't love their wives, they love their girlfriends. The wives are the fools because they clean up after them, take care of them and at the end of the day, he goes to have fun with his girlfriend"

I resisted the urge to slap the stupidity out of her brain. She was sitting in a married woman's house telling me, how she thought me and my kind were silly. Ah, but I have come to learn that in order to gain wisdom, you have to listen to even to the most inane of conversations.


So I poured my drink as I listened to this otherwise educated and smart young woman, justify her choice in a roundabout fashion. The mind is amazing, you can justify anything if you really want to, I mean, Bush justified Iraq and I have just rationalized this chocolate chip cookie, well I am trying to justify it, but the truth us I really can't justify it without lying to myself.

But I digress.

I think the key thing in her statement was that she was lying to herself. Affairs, adultery exist in a realm of lies. He lies to her, he lies to you, he lies to himself, you lie to the world, you lie to yourself and then you cry to yourself because there will be nobody left to lie to.

There was once a girl who told a married man that she missed him and wanted to see him soon. The wife found out and confronted her. The girl feeling like a hard chick told the wife, that if she were her, she wouldn't be making such a big deal, after all, all she did was flirt with the man.

I don't know when we as women started to believe the lie that we have to settle for less!

Now here is my two kobo as far as being with a married man is concerned. Please know that this comes from a place of love and also I have a deep understanding of what I am saying, trust me.

1. If a man is married and stays married and has you on the side, then you are only a side piece. You are simply there because you agree to be there. Occasionally he may become so besotted that he will contemplate or maybe even leave his wife, but even in that circumstance, most of the time, it's more about his needing to leave anyway and you providing a convenient safety net.

2. Men lie. Well, we all lie. We lie to get what we want. We lie to ourselves, so what makes you think that Mr. Man is not lying to you? He told you he doesn't love her? What line do you think he used on his wife, when she found out about your last tryst? The same one. Verbatim.

3. The wives of men who cheat, have agendas. They stay for a myriad of reasons. Don't assume stupidity is one of them.

4. Don't believe the “it's not where he is, it's where he wants to be” myth. Where he is, is where he wants to be period. Trust me, don't fall into that trap.

I know a woman, who was a man's mistress for at least twenty years. She was and is a beautiful, elegant, educated woman. I don't know what he told her to keep her hanging on in there for all those years, it must have been good. Long and short, this man had a heart attack and left everything to his wife and kids. His mistress and her child were left nothing. Their names weren't even penciled into the will. She couldn't see the body. She couldn't mourn him publicly. She was a shadow widow, just like she was a shadow wife. She went to the memorial alone, her friends refused to go, and she sat at the back like a nobody. As she sat their crying about his death, she began to realize that in his real life, she was nobody to him. His friends that knew her, pretended otherwise. She was a strictly after midnight, no status. I think about her a lot. I wonder how a woman like that could have fallen prey.

I wrote the book, the Mrs club, because I wanted to talk about how people feel when pressured to marry, but there is a secondary pressure. The desire to find love. When time starts racing by, you start to become afraid. The question of whether you’ll ever find love begins to ring in your head, like and unwanted bell. You start to panic. You think deep inside even though you might proclaim otherwise that maybe you won't find that perfect love. So sometimes when a counterfeit comes around, showing you all the romance you felt would come with that perfect love but none of the commitment, you think that you have to settle for less. Don’t feel bad, so many of us have fallen for their verse. It is practiced so it’s convincing, but it's no more real than the world they are promising you. Any man that is serious will close one door before opening another. This is fact, simple and true.

Tell yourself what you like, but find a little time to tell yourself the truth. These so called hard babes and senior chicks that self medicate with gucci and prada are sometimes dying inside. They don't tell you that sometimes, he doesn't take their calls for days or weeks. They don't tell you that they have to beg sometimes for the money that they flash around like lottery winners. They don't tell you that sometimes, they get lonely. They don't tell you that sometimes they hate who they have become.

I guess that is what gets to me the most. I told that girl in my living room and I am telling you. If you are on the verge of making this choice. Don't choose him. Choose you. Don't give up everything you believe for a person that has made no commitment to you. Don't give up the right to dignity for a little bit of intimacy, don't give up being alone and end up lonely. You are worth more. You deserve to live and walk in the light. You deserve to subsist on more than crumbs, you deserve the cake.

I understand that fear, believe me I do. I think that sometimes that books and movies set us up. They are about romance, not love. When the screen gets blurry and the music starts, what is happening is not love, its romance. Love is commitment, pure and simple. It is not necessarily sexy. It doesn't necessarily come with perfect words. It simply is.

And if you stop looking for the lies, you will see the truth and say it.

Yes O! Anyone reading this, I am begging you, it is as the Bible says, God is not mocked. It is the principle of the world even, what you sow, you will reap. I tell you, any tears you cause any woman to shed over your affairs with her husband, you will weep double when and if you get married.

Secondly, it is a dangerous business, stepping outside of God's covering. I posted this here because so many "good" girls are falling for the lie and before you know it, they leave their morals and their faith behind because of shame.

My darling, I don't speak because I am perfect, I speak because I know all too well. Don't give room to the enemy. Not one inch. No matter how lonely you are, no matter how fine he is, or how lonely he claims to be, you deserve more. You are worth more.

And if you have fallen, if you are there, maybe he is sleeping right beside you right now, it is not too late to get up and say no more. Never mind the lies that float around in your head saying you are ruined. Hmm, who is ruined, what was Mary Magdalene, what about Rahab, no one is ruined before God. He is watching you and wanting you to come back to Him. He will receive you with open arms.

You are loved. By the most High. Now tell me what man made from dust can compete with that?

http://lindaikeji..com/

How Aduke got her groove back
By Chude Jideonwo
December 12, 2009

"I challenge any man to come and say he has slept with me for money," this 38-year-old said to a newspaper interviewer a few years ago. A grandiose declaration for sure, ("I believe my own bull you see," she once said), but one that reflects the core of Funmi's identity: a fierce self-independence.
Whilst Funmilola Aduke Iyanda was yet a child, the TV presenter/producer's mother went out of the house one day, and she has not been found since. Unfortunately, her father battled alcoholism for some years, leaving the young Funmi to care for her younger siblings. The fifth child in a family of 11 would eventually sell clothes and odds and end at the University of Ibadan to see herself and her younger brother through the school.
"Funmi likes to say she went through her own hardships as a growing child," her friend, the playwright Wole Oguntokun, says. "Success detaches people from their origins usually, but she managed to fight that failing. That lack of desensitisation placed her in a place, very few television people could reach."
Of course, Funmi is more than just a TV personality. If she is brilliant on-air, she is an even more spectacular writer - insightful and unfailingly witty (one of her pieces for her column, Jisting, in the defunct Tempo magazine was titled ‘Dear God, I need a man'). She also co-wrote the first of Newton Jibunoh's desert memoirs.
Amongst other things, she is a sports diarist, stemming from her experiences as official chaperon for the likes of Charity Okpara and Chioma Ajunwa, pre-competition facilitator (painting her face in the national colours) for France '98, and covering international sporting events like the 1998 World Cup, the 1999 female World Cup, and the Athens and Sidney Olympics.
A star is born
But it was New Dawn that gave her flight. The show started humbly in the NTA Channel 10 studios in Tejuosho Yaba, Lagos, knocked together from the remains of a store. "Part of my love hate relationship with NTA 10," she reveals, "is a deep loyalty to the station for trusting a red haired, hot headed, quick tempered 29-year-old to independently produce their flagship show; they gave me my voice."
It began in 2000. It wasn't the first time she was doing television - having hosted and produced a number of talk, sports and entertainment shows, most while working with the man who would father her daughter, football legend Segun Odegbami - but Funmi was finally being heard.
The enunciation was far from sleek, her dresses pushed the envelope and she was given to spontaneity that TV viewers had to get used to. But she was a quick hit - and soon shows like the NTA's AM Express tried to repeat that magic. Her viewers also saw her tranform from an awkward, earnest female to a celebrated, achieving woman - with more than 50 awards in tow.
In April 2008 however, after eight years, during which her show had been upgraded to the NTA Network Service, she woke up one morning - and stopped New Dawn.
Ace comedian Ali Baba, who is a friend, says: "When she stopped her show, I just thought, that's Nigeria for you. The people who care about education don't get school licence, the real bankers couldn't raise 25billion, the good footballers don't make national teams, "
Many pointed to new TV phenomenon, Mo Abudu, whose show, Moments with Mo, seemed to have taken Funmi's place, dealing with the same issues, and talking with the same (and even bigger) personalities - only this time with a proper set, professional sound and styling, above-par camera work, superb editing, and the ultimate cross-continental platform - Mnet.
But Funmi points to her own battles, blaming "the whole of New Dawn's experience with NTA, the frankly fraudulent advert agencies and clueless media owners."
She's back
For many months after, no one knew what would become of Funmi. Then, on the 5th of January this year, she announced on her blog: "I'm back. No noise, no fanfare, just a quiet statement of fact: I am back."
Weeks after, she launched the Change a Life Foundation, crystallising her partnership of over half a decade with the Lagos State government to put about 30 children of single mothers through school, at a moving event in Lagos. But that was just the beginning.
Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said at a much-praised TED talk this year: "My friend, Funmi Iyanda, is a fearless woman, who is determined to tell the stories we forget." Which is exactly what Funmi did upon setting up a new company called Ignite Media. She travelled around five states in Nigeria for four weeks in a ten-hour daily schedule that saw her "swinging from abject despair to desperate hopefulness."
The result of those journeys is her new show unveiled to the public in October: Talk with Funmi.
Gbolahan Faleye, who began to present the arts segment on New Dawn when he was 17, and who describes her affectionately as "quite mad really" says: "I, like everyone else, was greatly saddened by the show's demise. However, I was hopeful that the closure would eventually lead to the birth of something more beautiful. Funmi's return to television vindicates this hope!"
In this new show, shot on high definition video, Funmi speaks with Nigerians from all spheres of life. She visited the Oba of Benin's palace, got footage flying over Lagos and spent a whole day with two governors, just as she joined Charly Boy and other motocyclists in full gear, went hunting at the Ita Olorun Village and danced the ‘swo' in Ajegunle. It premieres across the continent in January 2010.
"I had a month ago sat on a canoe in one of the poorest places, paddled slowly by the hauntingly intense Dami through the dankest, blackest waters I had ever seen or smelt, watching human faeces in various stages of decomposition flow by. The toilet was an exact replica of the slum dog millionaire sh*t scene without the beautiful colouring and diffusion of rough edges of that film," she says of one of the episodes.
"The power of my experiences is less about my person but about the stories, the people, the events that effortlessly weave through it," she says, in one of those touching moments of reflection that her blog readers are blessed to share. "Life does tend to happen to me, and perhaps I will one day sit down and write my story." It is sure to be one helluva story.
Funmi Iyanda's ‘Talk with Funmi' premieres in January 2010 on DSTV's Africa Magic & Magic World (Primetime), NTA/AIT and other selected stations around Nigeria, with an international cut scheduled for a major UK network.

How Aduke got her groove back
By Chude Jideonwo
December 12, 2009 10:33PMT



"I challenge any man to come and say he has slept with me for money," this 38-year-old said to a newspaper interviewer a few years ago. A grandiose declaration for sure, ("I believe my own bull you see," she once said), but one that reflects the core of Funmi's identity: a fierce self-independence.

Whilst Funmilola Aduke Iyanda was yet a child, the TV presenter/producer's mother went out of the house one day, and she has not been found since. Unfortunately, her father battled alcoholism for some years, leaving the young Funmi to care for her younger siblings. The fifth child in a family of 11 would eventually sell clothes and odds and end at the University of Ibadan to see herself and her younger brother through the school.

"Funmi likes to say she went through her own hardships as a growing child," her friend, the playwright Wole Oguntokun, says. "Success detaches people from their origins usually, but she managed to fight that failing. That lack of desensitisation placed her in a place, very few television people could reach."

Of course, Funmi is more than just a TV personality. If she is brilliant on-air, she is an even more spectacular writer - insightful and unfailingly witty (one of her pieces for her column, Jisting, in the defunct Tempo magazine was titled ‘Dear God, I need a man'). She also co-wrote the first of Newton Jibunoh's desert memoirs.

Amongst other things, she is a sports diarist, stemming from her experiences as official chaperon for the likes of Charity Okpara and Chioma Ajunwa, pre-competition facilitator (painting her face in the national colours) for France '98, and covering international sporting events like the 1998 World Cup, the 1999 female World Cup, and the Athens and Sidney Olympics.

A star is born

But it was New Dawn that gave her flight. The show started humbly in the NTA Channel 10 studios in Tejuosho Yaba, Lagos, knocked together from the remains of a store. "Part of my love hate relationship with NTA 10," she reveals, "is a deep loyalty to the station for trusting a red haired, hot headed, quick tempered 29-year-old to independently produce their flagship show; they gave me my voice."

It began in 2000. It wasn't the first time she was doing television - having hosted and produced a number of talk, sports and entertainment shows, most while working with the man who would father her daughter, football legend Segun Odegbami - but Funmi was finally being heard.

The enunciation was far from sleek, her dresses pushed the envelope and she was given to spontaneity that TV viewers had to get used to. But she was a quick hit - and soon shows like the NTA's AM Express tried to repeat that magic. Her viewers also saw her tranform from an awkward, earnest female to a celebrated, achieving woman - with more than 50 awards in tow.

In April 2008 however, after eight years, during which her show had been upgraded to the NTA Network Service, she woke up one morning - and stopped New Dawn.

Ace comedian Ali Baba, who is a friend, says: "When she stopped her show, I just thought, that's Nigeria for you. The people who care about education don't get school licence, the real bankers couldn't raise 25billion, the good footballers don't make national teams, "

Many pointed to new TV phenomenon, Mo Abudu, whose show, Moments with Mo, seemed to have taken Funmi's place, dealing with the same issues, and talking with the same (and even bigger) personalities - only this time with a proper set, professional sound and styling, above-par camera work, superb editing, and the ultimate cross-continental platform - Mnet.

But Funmi points to her own battles, blaming "the whole of New Dawn's experience with NTA, the frankly fraudulent advert agencies and clueless media owners."

She's back

For many months after, no one knew what would become of Funmi. Then, on the 5th of January this year, she announced on her blog: "I'm back. No noise, no fanfare, just a quiet statement of fact: I am back."

Weeks after, she launched the Change a Life Foundation, crystallising her partnership of over half a decade with the Lagos State government to put about 30 children of single mothers through school, at a moving event in Lagos. But that was just the beginning.

Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said at a much-praised TED talk this year: "My friend, Funmi Iyanda, is a fearless woman, who is determined to tell the stories we forget." Which is exactly what Funmi did upon setting up a new company called Ignite Media. She travelled around five states in Nigeria for four weeks in a ten-hour daily schedule that saw her "swinging from abject despair to desperate hopefulness."

The result of those journeys is her new show unveiled to the public in October: Talk with Funmi.

Gbolahan Faleye, who began to present the arts segment on New Dawn when he was 17, and who describes her affectionately as "quite mad really" says: "I, like everyone else, was greatly saddened by the show's demise. However, I was hopeful that the closure would eventually lead to the birth of something more beautiful. Funmi's return to television vindicates this hope!"

In this new show, shot on high definition video, Funmi speaks with Nigerians from all spheres of life. She visited the Oba of Benin's palace, got footage flying over Lagos and spent a whole day with two governors, just as she joined Charly Boy and other motocyclists in full gear, went hunting at the Ita Olorun Village and danced the ‘swo' in Ajegunle. It premieres across the continent in January 2010.

"I had a month ago sat on a canoe in one of the poorest places, paddled slowly by the hauntingly intense Dami through the dankest, blackest waters I had ever seen or smelt, watching human faeces in various stages of decomposition flow by. The toilet was an exact replica of the slum dog millionaire sh*t scene without the beautiful colouring and diffusion of rough edges of that film," she says of one of the episodes.

"The power of my experiences is less about my person but about the stories, the people, the events that effortlessly weave through it," she says, in one of those touching moments of reflection that her blog readers are blessed to share. "Life does tend to happen to me, and perhaps I will one day sit down and write my story." It is sure to be one helluva story.

Funmi Iyanda's ‘Talk with Funmi' premieres in January 2010 on DSTV's Africa Magic & Magic World (Primetime), NTA/AIT and other selected stations around Nigeria, with an international cut scheduled for a major UK network. More information on: www.talkwithfunmi.com.