Negro_Ntns:

There's no way I'm responding to that woman on my email. No way! I'm sure she is not gone, she will probably just change her handle and come back in disguised.

Ok, no problem. I wish you all the best.

@Negro_Ntns

I have sent you an e-mail. I've done enough damage here, pissed off many people here, and overstayed my welcome. However, I think you know I never claimed to be Jewish (either that or you've been smoking way too much of the good stuff!) We will continue this discussion, if you're willing, by e-mail because I'm very curious to hear what you're trying to get at here. Thank you.

You're right, Nubian.

Thanks for putting up with me. I'm leaving now.

All the best.

We do have aborginals here and, believe me, there is "criticism" against them here. (If that's what you want to call it. I call it racism, plain and simple.) We also have french Canadians who are generally disliked by the rest of Canada and there is plenty of "criticism" against them.

The funny thing is that, despite having grown up in a community that was about 1/3 aboriginal, I heard very few, if any, negative comments made by them about whites. Likewise, I lived in the french part of Canada for several years and can honestly tell you that I did not encounter a single person who disrespected or mistreated me because I was from the english part, or because I couldn't speak french.

This is why I generally prefer aboriginals and french canadians over the english speaking canadians, many of whom have a closed-minded mentality.

To sum, this "criticism" certainly exists here in Canada, where we have different groups. However, I don't think it's as harmless as you apparently do.

4 Him:

amber ella certainly doesnt believe so.

I absolutely do think that we are one family and Africa is the womb from which we all come.





Look, I am sorry for bringing up a sensitive topic and I apologise to anyone who felt insulted by my words.  Honestly, it's been eating away at me every since I started this thread.  My words were not well chosen.

All I'm saying is this.  Nigerian culture is beautiful.  The overwhelming majority of Nigerian people, from what I've heard and experienced, are good, beautiful, interesting and intelligent.  If you would claim that, in general, Nigerians make good parents, I would agree.  That they treat their parents and elders well, I would agree.  That they are raised in a way that promotes morality and honesty, I would agree.

But why not leave it at that?  Why do you have to say that white people don't know how to parent, in order for you to be good parents?  Why do you have to say that most white women don't give a shit about the welfare of their husbands, in order for Nigerian women to make good wives?  Just in the short time that I've been on nairaland, I've heard more of these kinds of statements than I can even list.

The truth, I think, is that the great majority of parents in all countries are good.  The great majority of wives are loving and caring.  The great majority of people from every country in the world, I think, are good, moral, caring, loving people.  You might not see them on Dr. Phil or Wife Swap.  You might not hear about them in the news.  But regardless of whether they are igbo or yoruba, a christian or buddhist, Saudi or Australian, most people are just carrying on with their lives, trying to be good people and dedicating their lives to their families and loved ones.

That's really all I'm trying to say, guys.  And I do apologise for not being more sensitive in my choice of words.

4 Him:

Amber, if you had so great a marriage you wont be here whinning. It baffles me when i see people posting here while claiming to have oh so wonderful a family. Have you got nothing better to do with them than to come snivelling on a forum?

I only mentioned that I have a solid marriage two times on this forum.  The first was in response to a thread where many posters were claiming that a marriage between a white and a Nigerian cannot succeed.  The second time was in this thread, after NubianQ repeatedly insisted that I should be trying to save my marriage.  You will notice that I ignored those comments the first couple of times, since they were completely off topic.  Finally I felt the need to set her straight and let her know that, despite the problems and challenges that we've had between us, we are deeply in love and best friends.

You will notice that I have not made any racist comments on this forum.  I have not made generalisations or stereotypes about black people or Nigerians.  So the only basis you and negro_ntns have for beleiving that I'm racist is the country I grew up in?  Yes, that's a very solid argument.  Thank you for that.

NubianQ:

you claim your husaband supports the crap u are posting. breaking news hun, he supports it because u are just a passover for him,

What he said is that too many of his fellow countrymen have experienced blatant racism and now feel the need to pick on someone else. I said I didn't think it was that, but just that they've been subjected to so much overt racism that they think, on a subconsious level, that it is normal or acceptable.

NubianQ:

you don't just get it. i keep telling you to go check his family album because his real woman is waiting for him back home.

Sweetheart, give your brothers some credit.  They're not all polygamous, cheating mofos.

NubianQ:

if your marriage is so perfect why are u on nairaland seeking ways to make your marriage work?

Please, I beg of you to find one post on here where I:

1. asked for help finding ways to make my marriage work
2. complained about my marriage, or
3. complained about my husband

If you can do that, I will take back everything I've said here and admit that I am nothing more than a drivelling, racist fool.

I don't need your help with my marriage.  My husband hasn't been more than 3 meters away from me all day and I'm just taking a bit of a break from cuddling with him on the couch, after spending a beautiful father's day together, giving him some real good loving this afternoon, eating the delicious goat meat I cooked for supper, putting our gorgeous daughter to sleep together, and soon falling asleep in each others arms.  Trust me, I don't need your help with that. 

I've just finished a long conversation with him about all this stuff and the guy agrees with me 100%.  Thank god I managed to get one of the good ones instead of one of you bored, closed-minded fools.

NubianQ:

when pigmentally challenged people start shagging blackies they automatically think they know it all. this woman no go go dey watch im hussy e dey here dey tlk rubbish, ^{meanwhile e no no say she be passing phase}

I rest my case.

apologise for telling you that your obsession with bashing whites is lame? I don't think so.

4 Him:

You are simply one of the many closet racists who brandish their "i have a black friend" status

I never said that. It annoys me like hell when people say this. I'm not racist because I wasn't raised that way. Period.

4 Him:


Until you have walked in a black man's shoes you have no right to cry about racism.

Yes, I do. Racism is ugly in all its forms.

@nwaka, I completely agree that there's disgusting racism here in Canada. I didn't see it until I got with my husband. Its not said out loud but it's there. Like when we're going around trying to rent a decent apartment and nobody wants to rent to us and I'm wondering "what the hell" until I have it explained to me. It's wrong. It's ugly. It makes me ashamed.

anyway, you guys know I'm right and you know that you're obsessed with defining yourselves in terms of whites.  You also know that it's wrong, but it's easier to say, "I'm black, I can't be racist," than to admit that this is a problem with your mentality.

I just sincerely hope that this forum is not indicative of Nigerians' mentality in general because I have a feeling that Nigeria is going to be a big part of my future.

Anyay, I'm glad I got a taste of this so it's not a shock if I experience this when I get there.

@4him

oh boo.  I challenge you to find a post on here where I've said something derogatory about black people.

I simply don't appreciate being put into this box where every opinion I have is attributed to the color of my skin.  It's boring.  And at times, it's even bordered on racism.

what part of that gives you the impression that I'm distrustful of black people?


My husband has some negative feelings toward Chinese people.  I wouldn't say that it's racist, necessarily, but it's very annoying when he talks about chinese this and chinese that.  I'm always getting pissed at him and telling him that's wrong.

It wouldn't matter if you were talking about black people, white people, chinese people, latinos - whatever, it's just lame.

I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist in North America.  Of course it does.  But "where I come from" - my family and the people I grew up with, would think you were a lowlife if you ever voiced a stereotype based on the color of someone's skin.

No, I didn't get a chance to meet most of the posters on here or to read even a fraction of the threads.

Just that every times I see white this or white that, it makes me cringe. People don't talk like that where I come from. I can't get away with running around saying black this and black that, even if I'm just being goofy.

I would be shocked if I heard my Nigerian husband saying any of this crap about white people, even if he was kidding around. Now I'm starting to wonder whether he thinks it and just keeps it to himself.

Actually, I have very few white friends. Most are middle eastern, african, asian or central american. And I can't ever remember hearing any of them talking in this manner. Perhaps it's because this is an anonymous forum, or maybe because it's primarily one group of people, Anyway, it's not the place for me. That's all.

sorry i just think it's boring to continue to see the world through such a narrow lens.

i've enjoyed my brief time spent here at nairaland - there are some interesting posters. But honestly, it's not the place for me.

I just hope I don't find the same boring mentality in nigeria when I visit.

here are a few over the last couple of days.

Look at the first one and explain to me, please, how skin color got in the middle of there?!??

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=142342.msg2372708#msg2372708

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=131880.msg2371318#msg2371318

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=141588.msg2364527#msg2364527

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-140936.64.html

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=139397.msg2355397#msg2355397


White people are dogs with no respect who don't give a shit about the welfare of our husbands and are too stuck in our ways and, apparently, we go around slapping our teachers now (who knew??), while, of course, a marriage between a nigerian and a white has almost no chance of working, and our entire civilisation is headed toward impending doom due to our soddom and gomorrah lifestyles.

I'm almost scared to set foot outside my home after reading all this stuff about my neighbors!

I'm sorry for the mistakes of previous generations of white people, They were inexcusable. I'm not asking anyone to move on. I just don't understand why so many people on this forum feel the need to bash whites over and over again. Doesn't it ever get old?

Is the nairaland community representative of the Nigerian people in general, in this respect?

Why do so many nairalanders feel the need to define themselves in terms of "the whites" or white people?

Why does the topic of whites find its way into many, or even most, threads on here?

Your culture existed long before the western one, so surely you had an identity free of whites.  Why not continue that instead of always compare yourselves to whites?

gabrywyl:

Hey Amber, I'm Asian and I can cook. In fact I can cook very well!

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything about Asians or their ability to cook. In fact I'm osessed with Malaysian food. mmm,

It just so happens that the 2 women I know who don't cook are Asian.

So, when do I get to try this cooking of yours?

What woman doesn`t care about the welfare of her husband?  Where are all these so-called new age bitchy women hanging out?  Because I don`t know any of them!

@redsun

Rare, my ass. Of all the wives and moms I know, there are only 2 that don't cook - and they're both asian.

My best friend also doesn't cook, although she's not married. You open her fridge and there's wine. You open her freezer and there's vodka. lol. She's Persian.

You people have such rediculous ideas about white people.

Love can hurt but that's only because it feels so good while it lasts.

Many of our grandparents had marriages that were not based on love. I often think it would be much easier to make those work. But then, without love, life is dry.

chaircover:

I will probably be told off by the feminists on this forum but I always feel a sense of achievement & satisfaction when I place a good meal down in front of your husband & children. According to our mothers, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

The feminist in me is screaming abuse right now but I have to agree with you. It does feel good.

I agree. She sounds like a wonderful wife and mother.