₦airaland Forum

The coolest human being I`ve ever met is my great aunt.  She never married because she lived in Holland and there was a shortage of men after the war.  

She passed away last year at the age of 90, bless her soul.

I`ve never met someone so intelligent or young at heart.  She enjoyed techno music and knew more about soccer than anyone I`ve met.  I could sit down and talk to her for hours - about everything from relationships to religion to the meaning of life.

There are worse things than being single,  Much, much worse!  (read: husband cheating on you and treating you like a worthless piece of crap or screwing a man who disgusts you)

~Xerxes~:
You mean there's no difference?
Anyways, u might never know the difference. . . . .Sometimes we don't know what we have till it's LOST.

Of course there is a difference.

But ONLY I complete myself.  My husband doesn`t do that and neither does my daughter.  

I think that makes me a better wife and mother.

why are people so scared of being unmarried?  I`d rather learn to love myself than learn to live with a man who didn`t love me.

As much as I adore my husband and look forward to growing old in his arms, I feel no more complete now that I`m married than I did when I was single.

I think it's just natural to feel stronger emotions toward our children.  A good relationship with our spouse is something we have to nurture and it takes more effort.  

But my mommy and daddy nigeria (in-laws) never forget to remind us that one day our children will be grown up and gone, and it will just be the two of us.  The kids come and go but your spouse is always at your side.

I love my husband because he gave me a beautiful child and I love my baby because she comes from the man I love.

Ok, so are you saying that this man doesn't know you have children?

nawah1980:
@poster, Na wah 4 this woman ooooooooooooo, u get children, and u say u never MAKE LOVE before, JESUS CHRIST!!!

Hey, it worked for Mary!

If you have children, then obviously he knows you're not a virgin.

I don't want to give any information on the Net. I have phobias of being discovered!

.

Sorry, I'm just being honest. It's better for her to hear the truth from a stranger than to learn the hard way.

Your questions are stupid.  What if someone asked you if all American men are liars, or if a Canadian man is trustworthy? 

The best way to prevent being lied to or used is by having self-respect and not letting people jerk you around.

How old are you?  Do you have no education?  Why on earth would you believe that he can put something inside you to know if you're a virgin? 

This guy sounds like bad news.  He is using you for papers and he sounds controlling.  I would run away fast.

But please, when he ruins your life, don't blame it on yorubas. Blame yourself for not being smarter.

I love my husband's family. His parents stayed with us for 2 months and we didn't have any problems. His mama taught me to cook nigerian dishes and we went shopping. His father gave me career advice and we would read the Bible together and he would give us words of wisdom that I'll never forget.

leirop:
not really, was just wondering. i used to live in brampton and then calgary, those were cold days.

Why do you think I married an African? He's my ticket away from the snow! lol,

No, I'm not Nigerian. Is it so obvious?

leirop:
u missed the point, was not talking about the childs dad

Sorry, that post was hypothetical, in response to the other poster, and wasn't directed at you.

leirop:
In most cases, the child is with the mom anyway, so if u marry a guy that has a child, u will probably not really be in the childs life

If I met a father who was not very actively involved in his child's life, I would leave him so fast, you wouldn't even see me running away! What am I going to do with a deadbeat lowlife like that?

Look, if this woman's child bothers you, then please do not marry her. Let her and her child find a man who will love and want them both.

Good for you - you made the right decision.

buzyDiva:
@topic,

Yes . . leave em

"Once a cheater, always a dog"!!

before u know it now . . he will infect u with STDs and worse, HIV.

Exactly!

Some people say you should stay with a cheating man "for the sake of the children". How can you take care of your children when you're sick with AIDS?

I have a close friend whose father infected his mother. Imagine.

Us mothers need to take care of ourselves. We need to be strong and healthy, both physically and psychologically, because our children need us.

It's pathetic when men use their gender as an excuse to behave like morons. "we're men, we can't help it". , for goodness sake, get some self respect!

My husband and I have agreed that cheating is unacceptable in our marriage. We have both agreed that if it happens, the marriage is over. Of course, we can never say that it couldn't happen to us. IF it were to ever happen, we would have to sit down and discuss things and see if we could work through it.

I respect my husband. I adore him. He is intelligent, strong, and capable of making sound decisions. Because I think so highly of him, I have high expectations as well. Those include staying faithful to me.

NubianQ:
we have to understand that the lady needs help. marrying her wont destroy his life, maybe hurt him emotionally if he falls for her and she doesnt return it. but atleast she told him the truth. personally, i can agree with you when you say the woman could destroy his life but i can only say the only way might me in an emotional sense but in a financial sense he can have lawyers draw up a pre-nup if need be.

IF he decides to do this (which I personally think is a HUGE mistake on SO many levels), he needs to understand the risks. They are not just emotional. When you sponsor someone, you are responsible for them. It is a really big deal, not just signing a couple papers.

I suggest, at the very least, that he consult a lawyer to understand this situation from all angles. At the very least!

Leilah:
Doesnt matter in my view hoe slim and attractive the wife is if the man wants to go out he will. I personally don't see the point in allowing it as I don't want trouble on my doorstep ie -some pregnant slut. You just never know and whats a man supposed to do when there are all these babes eying him. They would do it in front of you these women, can you imagine when your not there!!!!

First, I agree with you that it doesn't matter how attractive the wife is.

I have a couple problems with your post, however.

For one thing, the idea of "allowing" you spouse to do something seems off. I don't allow or forbid my husband to do anything, and he doesn't allow or forbid me to do anything. He is who he is, I am who I am, and we understand that there are consequences for our actions. For instance, I don't forbid him to cheat on me. However, if he knows that IF he were to cheat on me, he wouldn't be able to call me a wife anymore. Action and consequence.

As well, you don't seem to give men much credit. What is a man supposed to do when pretty girls are smiling at him? Well, he smiles back, feels good about himself, enjoys a bit of attention, and reminds himself that his wife is much more beautiful, both inside and out. No big deal.

You don't seem to have much respect for men.

Do you have low self-esteem or something? Don't let yourself be treated like this. This woman could destroy your life in so many ways.

me canadian.  but i have to admit - my nigerian husband speaks better english than me.  He's always laughing at the way I say stuff!

can i respond if i'm not nigerian??

one thing that always bugs me is when people say "pick" and "drop" instead of "pick up" and "drop off".  Like "I can't pick the phone right now" or "I'm going to drop my friend at school".  argh!