₦airaland Forum

How sad that when the man is out misbehaving, the woman takes a hot bath and puts pretty-smelling lotion on!

Imagine the wife is out clubbing and behaving in a disrespectful manner toward her husband, so the husband takes a nice bath and cooks her supper.  

These women need stop to accepting this kind of treatment.  Don't chase your man like a lost puppy.  Don't dress in lingerie to reward bad behavior.  It's pathetic.  The first step is to develop a healthy self-esteem.

debosky:
Look I am not talking about the deceitful men here who lure women, I am talking about the downtrodden, the deceived, the silently suffering Nigerian man who was DENIED the opportunity of marrying a virgin because of the DECEITFUL nature of some women out there.

I am standing here on behalf of those men - you can be like this man from Lille - come out and fight for your right! Don't suffer in silence. Don't let her get away with the LIES and DECEPTION. She stole your innocence, fight back!

@ amber

I don't know how he knew, but that is besides the point, she LIED and deceived him and that is WRONG

jennykadry:
abii oooo, how else if not expecting to find a thing barrier when thrusting in and finding blood stains on d bed d next day

You people do realise that it is very common for a virgin not to have her hymen in tact, right?

debosky:
The women claiming to be virgins and are not are WICKED. Men need to stand up for their rights. . .I hear at least 50% of men were deceived by their wives to be virgins in Nigeria, but are keeping silent. I urge these men to STAND UP and take courage from this incidence in France - these women stole your dignity, this is your chance to take it back!!

Pray tell, how on earth would a man know that his wife was or wasn't a virgin?

ima1:
you men device ways to get women in bed, you could drug a woman and say stupid stuff. like prove to me you love me by sleeping with me, most women are stupid enough to fall for that crap

Most women? Ah, I doubt it. You don't give our gender enough credit!

Drugging a woman or threatening a woman is one thing. But if a woman falls for sweet talk, she's completely responsible for her own actions.

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HR.hotness:
that is a valid point.
Unfortunately many people do it for many reasons and it could be that he feels the pressure to achieve whatever standard his peers are imposing consiously or unconsiously. Lets face it, Nigerian men, especially have huge egos and underachievemnt comes most especially in the form of not being able to properly provide for your family. Many nigerian wives put up with this arrangement, so i expect u should get used to it too (in as much as i hate to tell u to )

We have discussed this and decided that we won't do it anymore. I believe him, since he is a man of his word.

His family has high expectations of him. His father wants to do business with him in Nigeria. If that's what we decide to do, then I will stay in Nigeria. We will both make sacrifices. I know it will be difficult for his family to understand why I'm not more independent. But after 20 years, when they see that I've been a faithful, devoted wife and mother for all those years, I'm sure they won't be complaining!

Uche2nna:
If this statement was made without a reference to culture , then I would have held my peace.However, making it a Nigerian/African thing kind of got me hot under the collar.

I stated in my original post that I am not judging, that I love my in-laws deeply and admire their strong family values.  Clearly I'm not coming here to criticise your culture.  Your people and my people have a very different approach to families and the role of husbands and fathers.  For that reason, if I want to understand my husband and his family, I should go to his people for answers, no?

This is very different from a poster who comes on here asking if anal rape is a Nigerian thing.  I quite resent being compared with that poster.

Thank you, I do hope I can get some more helpful responses. It's difficult for me to get straightforward answers on this topic from my husband because I think he feels torn between his wife's expectations, his family's expectations and his own expectations of himself.

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your sister needs to go to the police immediately.  If he would do this to her, then surely he has done and will continue to do it to others.  Be there for your sister, support her, and do not fall into the wicked trap of blaming the rape victim.

The original post is a bit old but I'll post anyway, just for reference:

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/visit/index.asp

Visiting Canada: Who can applyIf you plan to visit Canada, you must:

have a valid travel document, such as a passport
be in good health
satisfy an immigration officer that you have ties, such as a job, home and family, that will take you back to your country of origin
satisfy an immigration officer that you will leave Canada at the end of your visit and
have enough money for your stay. The amount of money you will need can vary with the circumstances of the visit, how long you will stay and whether you will stay in a hotel or with friends or relatives. For more information, ask the Canadian visa office in your country or region.
You may also need:

a Temporary Resident Visa, depending on your citizenship
a medical examination and
a letter of invitation from someone who lives in Canada.
Inadmissibility
Some people are inadmissible—they are not allowed to come to Canada. Several things can make you inadmissible, including involvement in criminal activity, in human rights violations or in organized crime. You can also be inadmissible for security, health or financial reasons.

Criminal inadmissibility
If you have committed or been convicted of a criminal offence, you may not be allowed to enter Canada.

Criminal offences include both minor and serious offences, such as theft, assault, manslaughter, dangerous driving and driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. For a complete list of criminal offences in Canada, consult the Canadian Criminal Code.

If you were convicted of a crime when you were under the age of 18, you can probably still enter Canada.



If you want to visit Canada, you may need a visa. Canada requires citizens from some countries and territories to get a visa before they can enter Canada. Before you plan your visit, you should find out if you need a visa. For more information, see the Related Links section at the bottom of this page.

Check the website of the visa office responsible for the country or region where you live for more information on fees, including how to pay them.

How to apply for your Temporary Resident Visa
Obtain a Temporary Resident Visa application kit.
Read the guide.
Complete the application form and attach the necessary documents.
Pay the fee and get the necessary receipt.
Mail the application form and necessary documents.
1. Obtain a Temporary Resident Visa application kit.
You can download the application kit from Find an application form or guide in the I Need To… section on the right-hand side of this page.

Outside Canada, contact the Canadian embassy, high commission or consulate responsible for your area to have the application mailed to you.

2. Read the guide.
Read the guide carefully before you complete the application form. The fee for processing your form is not refundable, so make sure you are eligible to get a Temporary Resident Visa before you apply.

3. Complete the application form and attach the necessary documents.
The application form contains instructions. Read the instructions and be sure to provide the required documents. If you do not provide all the requested information or documents, your application may be delayed.

You can use the same application form for your spouse or common-law partner, and for dependent children under 18 if they will be travelling with you.

All required documents must be includeded with your application:

You must have a valid travel document (such as a passport) for each family member on the application.
Two recent passport photos of each family member are required. Make sure these photos meet the requirements. For more information on specifications for photographs, see the Related Links section at the bottom of this page.
Enclose the application fee and the IMM 5401 receipt of payment. Your fee will not be refunded, even if your application is not accepted.
You must provide proof that you have enough money for your visit to Canada. The amount of money may vary, depending on the circumstances for your visit, how long you will stay and whether you will stay in a hotel, or with friends or relatives. You can get more information from the Canadian visa office in your country or region.
You may need to include other documents. These documents could be identification cards, proof of employment, a letter of invitation from relatives or friends in Canada, or a proposed itinerary. Check the website of the visa office responsible for the country or region where you live for more information.
4. Pay the fee and get the necessary receipt.
The fee per person is $75 for a single entry visa, $150 for a multiple entry visa or $400 for a family (multiple or single entry).

Check the website of the visa office responsible for the country or region where you live for more information on fees, including how to pay them.

5. Mail the application form and necessary documents.
When you have completed the application form, make sure you sign and date it, and that all required documents and fees are included in the envelope. In most countries, application fees must be paid in Canadian dollars. You must send your application to the Canadian visa office in the country or region where you live. Check the guide in your application kit for instructions.

Processing time
How long it takes to process your application varies depending on the visa office where you applied. You can find out more about application processing times in the I Need To… section on the right-hand side of this page.

An interview with a visa officer
You may need to go for an interview with a visa officer. See more information about an interview in After Applying on the right-hand side of this page.

A medical examination
You might need a medical examination to be allowed to enter Canada. If you do, a Canadian immigration officer will tell you and will send you instructions about what to do. A medical examination can add more than three months to the processing time of your application. You can find more information on medical examinations in the I Need To… section on the right-hand side of this page.

Using a representative
You do not need a representative to help you apply to visit or immigrate to Canada. Whether you use a representative is a personal choice. Find out more about using a representative.

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My husband is Nigerian. I am North American. My husband goes clubbing with the guys on occasion. I also go clubbing with the girls on occasion. In fact, I encourage him to go, drink a bit and enjoy himself. I trust him. I like it when he comes home tipsy and gives me a private strip show and I laugh hysterically at him and he tells me the stories from the night - drama and funny things his friends do. It's all good.

If you trust the guy, there's no problem. If you think he might be behaving inappropriately, then there is a problem. But that says more about who he is as a person than the places he frequents.