₦airaland Forum

selfemployed:
dear of, you are such a creative writer. with such skill, you can create a good job for your self on the internet

I can guide you if you are interested

Oh thanks.
I'm interested.

Udochee:
thought provoking & very insightful. we hope for things to at least get better than how they are now

They sure will

Thanks Udo.

DICKtator:
Too many errored in your wrote-up!!!

Your engrish is so poored!!!

Maybe because that was while they are not called you for interviewing or gulder jobs!!.

Kindly worked on your engrish please!!

Hahahaha.

And Mr. clown finally brought me out of hiding

Please teach me engrish

Abirisegun:
Chai, this is rich. Permission to copy Please don't say no.lol

Mmmh... Thanks.
May I know where you're going to paste it?

And I'll say yes if you'll accept to give credit to the original poster after copying

ekanDamie:
dey send u a message to come for interview d next day Na dat one dey pain me pass.
wen I applied for d job like atleast a month back.
that's wickedness

Lol. Hope your interview went well though? Most of the time, their interviews are very easy to scale through because they are desperate to have you passed on to their client.

TheSlyone2:
Me and recruiting firm are so apart. I prefer a face to face meeting with the hiring company.
I only trust dragnet a lil bit

Most entry level jobs have been contracted out especially the 'massive' ones

I think the definition of massive changed when the word found its way into our vocabulary.

Xxpress:
All what the OP said can be directed at job center in V.I.

Lol. Are you sure about that?
Share your experience to keep the thread alive.

3 Jobs/Vacancies Drive,
Off Recruitment Portal,
Recruits Ville,
Nigeria.
4th November, 2016.


Dear Nigerian Recruiters,

Hello. I choose to start with Hello because it seems that's one language you all have in common. Hello! Heck! That greeting upsets me. More upsetting is the pact you all entered to infuriate me. Yea, like you by this time have known, this is no love letter. At the end of the letter, I'll leave you to decide what to call it based on what you'll make of it.

Last year, one of you took to the national dailies to advertise a major vacancy. You called it... what's that headline again? "Massive Nationwide Graduate Trainee Recruitment" Exactly! That's it. In your exact words and the opening sentence read thus, 'our client is a financial services company...'. Your client? I'm going to get to that. I don't want to jump the gun yet. Back to the advert, you called the recruitment massive, giving applicants hope albeit false, that at least 200-250 out of the over 5000 eligible will get in. I, like other thousands, dusted my CV and applied.

Your portal was supposed to be open for two weeks but you shut it down after 5 days with claims that the server was down when the truth is that you intentionally ended it so as to control the number of applications you'll receive. Do I hold it against you? I don't.

You lie! I do! I hold it against you! Why will you even do that? Are you the client or are you now the financial services company? Why don't you leave the site alone and give everyone interested equal opportunity to sit for an aptitude test? Anyway, that's not the issue now. I just feel I need to ask you some 'whys' before I go on. (Let me know when you have an answer, even though I know what it is you will reply. You all are totally predictable!)

Okay, so I applied. Lucky me! Like a rat on a race to get the cheese, I won! But no victory to record yet. Weeks after the deadline for the application, I received a mail from you inviting me to prepare for an online test. Online? On my money! In this Nigeria! You forget the peculiarities of our beloved country when you copy things from other countries. You just copy! Like a cat, you copy! In those days, after tests and interviews, applicants were given transport fare to go back home and thanked greatly for coming. Late Chinua Achebe had this to say that after graduation, his employer offered to arrange an interview with him at his convenience. But not today. Not with all these recruiters. They'd rather organize test for a prospective employee without factoring our epileptic power condition, poor internet access, unavailability of personal computers and so on. This, is still by the way.

So last year I was 26, all thanks to ASUU strikes and delay from my school to compile my results on time for mobilization, last year I wrote the test and within 48 hours was notified of my success. Victory at last? Nay! Not with Nigerian recruiters, the process is only just beginning. Month 1, no word. Month 2, no update. Month 3, no information. Month 6, no mail. Sent them a mail and then Month 9, no reply. Month 12! It's my birthday!!! Hurray! I'm 27!

You expect me to be happy right? But why should I? My application is pending. Even though I do not know the company I'm preparing to work for, I have no doubts about them being a leading provider of financial services in Nigeria. What will it cost these recruiters to fast track the process? If a company is not ready for MASSIVE recruitment, why announce it? Oh! it's the new trend! 30,000 graduates applied for 200 entry level slots in XYZ company. Statistics huh? That's what they need it for? From there we'll get a press release and you'll hear something of this sort,

' 30,000 qualified graduates applied for only 200 vacant positions. 3,000 of which are first class and below 23 years of age. 2500 out of the whole are graduates from foreign universities. '

This must really be a thriller. You do this thinking you're doing me but I laugh at you like I've gone bananas. For your information, this joke is on you!
Now I'm 27 but it doesn't end there. After one full year! I get a text from you Mr/Ms. Recruiter on my phone at 5:30 pm inviting me for an interview at 8 am the following day. How professional! No apologies whatsoever. In the text, you instruct me to come with an 'updated' CV. I hope you realize updated means my age will have gone up and I most likely will have a job doing (no matter how small) I've got sense you know?

8 am at your office with my updated CV and you're not there. You show up at 10 am as fresh prince of Bel-Air concerned and announce that the interview will commence immediately. I wait another 30 minutes before you invite me in. As the interview begins, you realize I'm good for something and there's pressure on your company to produce 50 marketers for a client, you begin smooth talking me into taking up the job. For how much? Half the amount the client is paying per head!
That's 50%

Wait! Do you see any similarity between you and a human trafficker? Or you want me to point out the similarities? Classic case of Monkey dey work baboo dey chop!

'What about the financial services company', I ask.
'Sorry', you say, 'you are above the age limit'.

On this present offer, you attach a clause like a village headmaster. 'You must remain with us as a marketer for at least one year...!'. Is that so? 1 year of trekking under hot sun. 1 year of refusing/rejecting better offers. 1 year of being stuck on stupid!

Now I ask you, is that how your counterparts in other countries recruit? Or you feel you can wake up 5 years down the line, dig up my number from your database and text me to come and be a feces evacuator?

You better get updated yourselves!
#NuffSaid!

Sincerely Yours,
A Nigerian Applicant.

karleone:
Wonderful piece. Swift response from SuperMod.

Hope the salary will increase over time?
Or will it be based on contract?

I cannor come and let this opportunity pass me by!
Amicable09, what sayeth thou??

Lolz.
Give it a shot Karl!
Give it a shot!

But!
Not without getting those questions answered first!

I expect that after sometime, a graduate bus conductor should progress to a graduate driver (Engineering graduates especially), from there to gaining ownership of the bus and becoming self sufficient.

If it's that way, then the development is sustainable and I will throw my weight in full hearted support.

Well said OP!
I think this is far far better than idling away and having your brain rust at home. It is even much more better than taking Toke Makinwa's advice.

Like you said, you can't do it, neither can I but there are people who can and those people should be allowed to take up the job. There's dignity in labour.

I support this initiative 100%.
A laudable attempt to take jobless graduates with combs hanging in their hair and loitering the streets without purpose off the streets to becoming productive. I must say!

It may only be for a month, some may last 3, others may last longer. But whatever the duration, giving youths an opportunity to work is commendable.

9ise:
even President Obama 'l b proud to hear diz bout his fathers land

Lol. You bet!

Babzilla:
We have experts .... But they are not based here

Lol. Pele

ELff:
Thanks sis, the hustle is real my dear... Lol. I'm trusting God and not loosing faith.

Lol. It hasn't ever gotten this real! This is the first of its kind

You've even gone as far as giving unsolicited advice and free consultation services . My brother, I am yet to hustle that hard! Lol

You deserve an award

TheSuperNerd:
Well said Madam Amicable.....

In lagos, a lot is indeed happening in certain top private medical facilities.

Nigerian operating theatres will one day produce the "magic" and beauty we all dream of and hear from lands beyond....

We're slowly but surely on the rise.....

Yes, we are
I've seen some magic already come out from our theatres. What I once watched on TV (Dr. 90210) and Grey's Anatomy, I have seen live in an operating theatre in Lagos.

Like you've rightly said, the rise may seem slow but it is sure! We are rising medically.

talktonase:
I am ashamed that it will be difficult to get a Nigerian hospital that can carry out such an operation...

Oh no, you're wrong!
I know a particular clinic with exact same theatre like the one pictured above with C-arm here in Nigeria. The theatre is working perfectly well and correct surgeries are taking place right there in Lagos.

We have experts in Nigeria. Though most of them are not fully based here but they perform the surgeries here, I tell you.

Have no shame , we'll soon see amazing wonders come out from our theatres right here in Nigeria.

talktonase:
good news coming from Kenya after a long while...

Lol. Yea, true .

It's really a good news and I'm happy it didn't read as 'Kenyan doctors in U.S...' but as 'Kenyan doctors in Kenya National Hospital!' not even a private hospital.

I'm more than pleased

Impressive!

Ben Carson will be proud to read this just as I am . Kenyan doctors have done Africa proud .

Wow! Wow! Wow!
This is it!
Exactly what we need to see to stay inspired and desist from outright begging...
Innovation!
Well done bro.

You have successfully told us who you are and what you do including samples to feed our hungry eyes in one single thread.

Keep at it dear. Sooner or later, you'll land your dream job.

All the best.

Lolz.
Guy you overreacted!

Now you feel guilty. I know you do. Next time, give yourself time before you reply. You may just find out that after a few minutes, the message will be funny to you and you'll laugh it off or you'll decide to ignore them. That's the way to go in case of next time.

Best wishes

.... But is there no better word to describe their height in a professional manner other than 'dwarf'?


This dwarf word doesn't just sit right.

Chai!
A once upon a time bubbling young man! Sickness is terrible.


He will live and not die.
I pray every necessary support needed be provided miraculously for his surgery soonest.


My prayers go out for the family also.